give me gen alpha damian wayne. do it.

Now, I know what everyone is thinking. “Damian’s so serious!! He would never use slang!!”

I raise you this: consider how funny it would be.

I think it would go like this:

Damian, in the middle of fighting Riddler: Imagine being an unskilled, unskibidi, loser beta!

Damian, decking him in the face: Riddler? More like no-rizzler!

Damian when Riddler’s obnoxious hat falls off during battle: Fanum tax!

Damian, dragging a hog-tied Riddler back to Arkham: Bro got cooked, I’m literally hitting the griddy on you right now. I mogged you so hard, start mewing more then break out again. Chat is he ready to go back to Ohio?

Riddler: what the fuck

Later, in the Batcave:

Nightwing, trying to bond with his little brother by using his generation’s slang terms: What’s up, opp!

(He thought “opp” meant something like “opportunist”, referencing Damian’s ability to take advantage of all the openings Riddler left in his defense.)

Nightwing, not noticing the stony look on Damian’s face: You got so cooked today, better looksmaxx harder!

(He mixed up “cooked” with “got cooked” and tried to tell Damian that he should take a break and do some self-care.)

Damian: Get away from me, you bastard!