#gen writes

what work are you most proud of?

give and take (my wildly self indulgent evil problematic omegaverse fic i mentioned a few times this summer. i was so afraid to write it and so afraid to throw it out there and i'm so glad i did)

what work has the most hits?

grantham to peterborough (gets the most attention because it's oneshot smut)

what work got more feedback than expected?

idk, i don't really expect feedback. you hope for something but i never really assume- i don't mean to be modest i mean idk what other people are into

favorite title you used?

this is tough actually? i like the implications of grantham to peterborough (takes place on a train, refers to the timetables), sushi for breakfast is a cheeky song reference, but scraps of heaven is special to me too because it's both literal and metaphorical.

if you use song lyrics, what artist did you pull from most?

i do use lyrics sometimes but don't write enough to have used the same artists repeatedly

pairing you wrote the most for this year?

had to do some math for this one. 9705 words/3 fics for xiyuan (qi ye) without gitm epilogue, 12075 with it. alwill (yuumori) had the entirety of give and take at 10102 words. i don't outright count sunset as sherliam (yuumori) which leaves 3 fics and 7047 words for them

favorite pairing you wrote for this year?

still really proud of what i was cooking with give and take ;-; i love a sherliam and a mycal too but alwill make me SO insane they are so much.

what work was the quickest to write?

so i was writing explicit gay sex and lesbian sex simultaneously one week this summer and knocked out gtp and sushi the same week (dunno what was in the air) and i thought that was pretty fast but honestly it was actually probably scraps? that's a short one and i knew exactly where it was going

what work took the longest to write?

i mean, obviously of these give and take took a while. i keep forgetting exactly when i started it, i think it was in august, so it was something like 6-8 weeks and it did fight me especially in editing. but- see next question- there's other stuff that's been on the backburner simmering for so long that sitting down and committing to actually start writing it has taken 6 months lol

how many wips do you have in your docs for next year?

i don't tend to have wips for long because i write pretty short and i focus on it until it's done. probably at least half the time i have nothing currently in progress cause I've finished what i had in mind and haven't come up with anything else i want to play with yet. but. demons have gotten into me this year and not only do i have two things i'm kicking around at the moment, they're both LONG ENOUGH and mentally and emotionally taxing enough that i can't just sit down and knock them out and have become entrenched in bullshit like outlining and slowly chipping away at them. having one of these going while i do shorter stuff whenever i need a break isn't unfamiliar, but two fics that require outlining and pacing simultaneously is absurd and i don't care for it but it is in fact. what's happening to me right now. two. the answer is two active wips.

what's your longest work of the year?

give and take. did not intend for that one to be that long either (thought it would be like 3k, it's 10k) but i had Things To Say

what's your shortest work of the year?

sunset was just 1260, it was kind of experimental

what work are you taking into next year with you?

isn't… this just wips again? OH maybe it's about ongoing stuff? i guess the closest to both is heaven au, which is becoming an interconnected series of fics (or will if i ever write them). scraps of heaven is, of course, a fluffy little side piece to this.

what's your most common "additional tags" tag?

well of 2025 there's been a couple i used twice: 'Mild D/s' seems to be a favorite lol alongside 'PWP' (both variations). I have 'family' on the north garden and 'family dynamics' on give and take (i'm a fairly thorough tagger just not always a consistent one), and 'coming untouched' vs 'coming in sleep' between washed clean and give and take (i guess it is different if you're asleep).

your favorite character to write this year?

i ALWAYS love writing Wuxi's perspective. easily one of my faves ever to write. that said i'm having a category 11 The Character moment for the last uh. since i wrote give and take regarding albert james moriarty. there was a melodramatic line i wrote in give and take that i was writing so seriously and then laughed out loud at. he is so funny. there are so many things wrong with him. i can't get him out of my documents he's in everything now.

the character that gave you the most trouble this year?

i'm very comfy with xiyuan after several years, they're no trouble. i do not like writing william. it's tough because in some ways i completely understand how he feels and experiences things and in others i just cannot pin down what is going on there in terms of thoughts and behaviors. he has more traits than personality imo which probably sounds harsh but sometimes that's the cost of being a protagonist. anyway i struggle to find the voice for him and how he thinks about things.

what pairing do you want to explore next year?

sooo late to mycal (yuumori) but i'm here and i'm obsessed with them and i'm doing really overly ambitious things with them in my wip tentatively called a family matter (everyone else is there too)

which work of yours have you reread the most?

give and take. i told you i was so glad i wrote that one for myself. it's not flawless but i have reread it maybe more than I've reread anything of mine purely for fun

how many kudos in total did you get this year?

246!

which work has the most comments?

grantham to peterborough

did you do any collaborative works this year?/24. did you write any gifts this year?/25. did you receive any gifts this year?

nope!/nope!/nope!

whats your most common category?

m/m but i was very proud of finally getting my fem!xiyuan written this year

what did you listen to while writing?

i'm a simple creature i have 2 writing playlists both are electronica (can't have lyrics) usually i am listening to either "Electronic Working & Coding Playlist" or "Heavy Electronic Coding Music" from sp*tify depending if i want 'chill' or 'fast'

favorite work you wrote this year?

i have to stop saying give and take people are going to think its good or something lmao i also do love scraps of heaven for being that little peek into heaven au which has been rotating in my mind maybe even as early as like, may? wish there was more of it someone should write that

favorite line/passage you wrote this year?

look i'll pick a favorite child in terms of fic but i can't pick a favorite in terms of lines ;-; i like the closing of grantham to peterborough ('your addictive tendencies are showing'), i like beiyuan making an entrance in sushi ('a bad reason slid out of the corner booth'), washed clean only got posted because it had two or three lines i really liked ('take all his unfathomable emotions and desires in stride'). and if i can say one more thing about give and take my actual favorite moment for some reason is the little transition between dinner the first night and going up to bed, turning down the lamps and checking the locks.

biggest surprise while writing this year?

Chrome, who's been sitting next to Eric during the party, becomes increasingly concerned as the number of glasses on the table go up. Eric had been drinking a lot, only leaving for a moment to use the restroom, before coming back to his seat to continue. He's lost count at this point as Eric keeps drinking, with multiple refills offered from other constructs, commandants, and various personnel in attendance who wanted to exchange some words with the young man.

"Commandant, shouldn't you drink some water?"

"M'm fine…"

Eric's cheeks were flushed pink, contrasting against his pale skin. He raises the whiskey glass to his lips, but Chrome is quick to stop him, taking the glass away and standing up from the table as Eric pouts. Wait. Pouting?

"I was still drinking that."

"I think it's best if you stop for the night." Chrome kneels down to cup Eric's cheek with one hand, the other resting on his forehead. "You're burning up."

Eric looks at Chrome in a daze, before clasping the hand at his cheek to rub against it, eyes closing in bliss.

"C-Commandant?"

"Chrome's hands feel nice…"

The other Gray Ravens and Strike Hawk had gathered around them now. Liv quickly hands Chrome a glass of water as Lee and Wanshi push the alcohol away from Eric's reach.

"Commandant-"

"Eric." Eric looks up to Chrome, pouting again. Truly a rare sight for everyone present. It was endearing. "We're not on duty. Use my name."

Chrome clears his throat as he corrects himself. "Eric, please just drink some water for now…"

Thankfully Eric was easy to please as the man obediently takes slow sips with Chrome's help. It's hard to ignore the giggles and whispers from others who were watching the exchange. Who'd have thought the famous and stoic Gray Raven Commandant could be so childish when drunk…

Lee steps up to Eric's side, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder as he looks to Chrome. "I'll carry him back to Gray Raven's lounge."

"No." Eric moves away from Lee, and Kamui bursts out laughing as Lee looks down at his commandant in disbelief.

"Commandant, please-"

"No." Eric is clinging onto Chrome now, his voice muffled as his face is buried in the other's shoulder. "I want to stay with Chrome."

Kamui's wheezing in the back now, Liv and Lucia giggling at the commandant's antics. Camu and Wanshi can only hold back their laughter as they watch Chrome and Lee trying to pull Eric away, but the man is stubborn and his grip surprisingly tight.

"Eric, people are staring-!"

"Chrome…" Eric's muffled voice is hard to hear and Chrome turns up his hearing module. "Is what everyone saying true…?"

"What is?"

"That you love me."

Chrome chokes as Kamui bursts into another round of laughter, looking around frantically before turning his attention back to Eric, the silence daunting. He couldn't run away from telling him the truth anymore.

"Yes, Eric, I love you."

Eric finally pulls away and his face lights up with a soft smile. "I love Chrome too."

Chrome feels something in him snap upon hearing the words alongside such an innocent smile. He quickly scoops up the man into his arms, and before anyone can get a word in they're already gone.

Lucia looks at the hall's exit in concern.

"…Should we go after them?"

"It's fine isn't it? The Captain finally confessed his feelings for Commandant after so long, it's their happy ending!"

"I'm more worried about what our Captain's planning to do to the Commandant. He had that serious, determined look on his face-"

"Lee? Lee!"

"Lee, come back! We shouldn't disturb Commandant and Captain Chrome!"

I keep a box on our dresser, where I can no longer reach. It's filled with my old teeth, chipped and broken things that gave way to new fangs erupting from changed gums. We keep them for...sentimentality, I suppose. A little, rattling box of memories of times before. You'd think I'd want to be rid of them, to throw off any reminder of the tattered remains of my humanity and run free, but no. It shaped me, is part of my history. I've removed myself from humanity, but I will always be connected to it.

The transition was in some ways harder than the time before. Dysphoria was a known factor, easy to handle in its familiarity. The changes were not. They hurt, most days, growing pains writ large as my body danced to a new song with each injection. My legs alone knocked me down for a month and a half, confined to bed or a hacked together wheelchair donated by my kin who had taken the leap long before I. My teeth were the most welcome change, falling out one by one in exchange for their deadly replacements. The worst was the fur, awkward puberty peach fuzz spread across my entire body, itchy as hell to boot. I was fired pretty quickly, turns out hairy paws are bad for food prep and a face stuck halfway between muzzle and mouth scares customers away. Good riddance.

The fear mixed with eagerness until I could no longer tell them apart. Joy at the new texture of my hair mixed with fear that it will never spread. Joy in how my nails sharpened and became dense claws mixed with fear that my paws will forever straddle the line between man and wolf. The anticipation of running in the woods, smelling of autumn and prey and family of all kinds, exacerbated the restless fear that I would never run again.

And yet, now I sleep curled at the base of his bed, proud in the change. Long, lithe muscle, beautiful in my simplicity. Soft fur belying sharp claws and hungry fangs. As long now as I was tall, massive and terrifying and graceful in ways I could never have been before. My intelligence is still human, but the undercurrent of instinct roars louder than ever, easy to lose myself in whenever I wish.

There are always dangers. Both to being other and also to being a predator. Fearful eyes see my teeth, my claws, the way my muscles move beneath my fur, and instead of beauty see danger. The fear is manageable. On better days, I provoke it playfully, offering approximations of grins and breaking into runs to show off. On worse, I ignore them, protected by law and the crowd. Worse are the pitying, the ones who look down. The ones who cannot believe I would choose this or who treat me like a pet dog to be played with. I wear no collar or leash, barely bending to "public decency", and at these people I snap. Growling, lips pulled back to reveal the fangs I worked so hard for, until they pull back or walk past.

I trade freedom for comfort most days. A warm bed and prepared meals in exchange for a harness warning the fearful and modified clothes for the embarrassed. A job to support my pack, culling deer populations when they begin to grow too numerous during the season. My pack is...broader, now. Encompassing human, wolf, therians, others. Nontraditional, to be sure. A melding of instincts, producing a creature that pack-bonds with ease and frequency out of both necessity and affection. Running with my kin for work and play and survival. Protecting and caring for my humans out of love and loyalty. Taking in my people as I was taken in before. A web of relations, centered on me, who I gather and love and celebrate my new life with.

“hey, why so serious?” asks the culprit behind your overthinking, causing you to jump slightly over his sudden appearance and your hands instinctively pull up the blanket to cover your naked chest, which as a result, makes him chuckle. cute. “here. it’s my cousin’s,” adds the topless man as he sits on the edge of the bed and hands you a white shirt that even under the dim light, you can already tell won’t fit you.

“your cousin? the model? hyunjin, she’s tiny,” you utter, hands still gripping onto the blanket. “i’m—“

“you,” he cuts you off, placing a hand on top of yours while carefully glancing at you to make sure you there aren’t any signs of discomfort. “are fine, y/n. now hurry up. i’m sleepy,” he adds before letting go, leaving behind a lingering warmth on your knuckles.

nodding, you turn your back on him to change, and the room falls silent, causing you to hear how fast your heart is thumping even more than it should have. is it because you had too much coffee this morning? or it can probably be because the shirt is too tight that it’s cutting off your air circulation, right? right, of course. you tell yourself because as much as you dislike both reasons, they are still far better than having hyunjin as the cause.

once you’re done, hyunjin already has his back lying against the bedhead, his head tilting slightly to the side, avoiding the light coming from the night lamp on the bedside table, while his eyes bore deeply into yours. unbothered that he’s been caught staring, he averts his gaze downwards till they reach your chest and spot how your nipples are sticking out through the thin fabric.

“see? it fits you just fine,” he says, turning his vision back to your face as he opens his arms and motions them at you, only to have you remain in the same position with your increasing heartbeat.

“aren’t you gonna, uh, wear something?”

instead of a proper answer, all you get is his laugh—hyunjin’s contagious laugh that usually always succeeds in making you laugh too. but today hits differently. has his laugh always sounded this lighthearted before? no matter what the answer is, one thing for sure is that despite how sweet hwang hyunjin and his laugh are, they have never made your cheeks burn like this before, and this is forbidden. it’s against the rules.

“an hour ago we were naked while sucking each other’s face, y/n,” he finally answers after a while. “besides, i always sleep like this. now, come on,” he adds, repeating the same gesture, except this time his hands are open wider, eager to have you near him again because the space around him is starting to make him feel lonely.

complying with him, you fall into his embrace and hyunjin immediately lets his hands travel to the exact places of where they want to be—one around your head and the other around your waist. despite the room turning less cold with his warmth directly passing onto you, your heart and cheeks conditions remain the same especially since you can hear how hyunjin’s heartbeats are beating just as fast as yours when he lets you lay your head on his chest.

“hyunjin,” you call out, hands fiddling with the collar of your shirt.

“y/n,” he replies, replacing the collar with his fingers instead, intertwining them with yours.

what happened to the rules?

“do... do fwb do these?” you ask, the bravery in you finally decide to show up, even just for a little.

“do this?” he asks back while squeezing your hand with all his might, as if he’s nervous.

no. not ‘this’, but ‘these’. not only the hand grabbing, but also the fact that he asked you to stay the night, that he’s cuddling you to sleep, and that you’ve been getting unusual symptoms over them until this very moment.

“yes, this,” you nod and hyunjin becomes muted, but his heartbeats are growing louder, and his grip on you has become tighter.

after what feels like forever, he whispers, voice slightly cracking, and hands getting a little colder, “yes. yes, they do.”

then the two of you become muted, but both heartbeats keep growing louder, and everything stays that way until sleep eventually takes over.

—

as a homebody, you’ve always against the idea of sleepovers. you believe home is the sweetest place and your own bed is the comfiest even when your mattress is older than a decade and your favorite plushie has had too many holes here and there. but waking up in hyunjin’s bed has broken your stigma—never in your whole life that you’d have thought someone else’s bed can provide you twice the comfort.

“looks like someone had a good sleep,” chirps jisung as he sits beside you, causing you to wipe off the smile on your face before going back to your laptop.

“wow suddenly my best friend’s a psychic?”

“hey, that’d actually make a great drama title!” he exclaims and you roll your eyes. “please do spill the tea though. what happened?” he adds.

“what happened?” you ask back, eyes still on the screen, but the corner of your lips are on the verge of breaking into the smile, knowing full well he’ll complain—which he does by lamely calling you a meanie.

laughing, you tell him nothing happened, but the way he rolls his eyes is a sign he’s not taking any of your bullshit. you are telling the truth though. besides spending the night with each other, nothing really happened, right? it was just another casual fucking session. yes, it was amazing, but that’s no news for jisung. the guy’s practically your wingman—setting you up with hyunjin was his idea because he believes you should, “live your life. have that dreamy college sex orelse you’ll regret it like my old man changbin!”

right on cue, a notification popped out on your big screen, and the sender’s name makes your heart pop too.

“aha, see!” jisung points at it. “y/n, where are you?” he reads out loud, earning yourselves all the eyes from every other student in class.

“oh my god, jisung. shut up!” right when you’re about to log out from the chat app, hyunjin sends another one.

“can i call you?” jisung reads once more and you’re only one second away from smacking his head, but your vibrating phone holds you back.

shooting jisung a glare, you make sure to close your laptop before leaving the class, answering hyunjin’s call even when you’re still half way through the door. right when you’re about to greet him hello, hyunjin beats you to it—his voice a bit raspy, but the softness in his tone still lies within, and it creates endless questions in your mind.

has he just woken up? so is this how he sounds in the morning? why is he calling?

and the list goes on because this isn’t like hyunjin at all. sure, he’s not validating the rules, but he’s breaking his character despite already alarming you to anticipate morning booty calls from him at times. he’s never actually done that though. 

“hi,” you reply, startling yourself with how small your voice came out.

“you left,” says hyunjin and you can hear him sighing from the other line, which somehow causes a slight pang in your heart, wondering if perhaps he is disappointed. “can you come back? wait, actually, let me go to you instead.” he says and you can hear the rustling sounds coming from his side.

“hyunjin, i have class. that’s why i left. i—” should you apologize? but why should you? casual, no strings attached, and no fucks given, remember? “i’m sorry.”

“oh.” hyunjin stops on his track before plopping back down onto the bed, smiling. “i’ll pick you up after class then. when will you finish?”

unconsciously, a smile creeps up your face too, but the realization hits you right after, then followed by the five word question, and you know—you know this is your guts telling you that now’s the time to ask him about it, but your heart hates confrontation. plus, wouldn’t it be rude to reply to someone else’s question with a question? “hyunjin, are you, uh, horny?”

just like yesterday, hyunjin laughs, and with the raspiness in his voice still present, he doesn’t fail to make you laugh along, but at the same time waking the butterflies in your stomach and makes you rethink your decision. mayhaps, you should’ve left him a note or told him that you’ll leave early in the morning; or even, you should’ve ditched classes today and stayed so when he wakes up, you can get him a glass of water, not leaving the boy uncared for like this. but who are you to do so? 

“isn’t it normal for a guy to have a morning wood?” he jokes before quickly adding that he’s not horny. “i just want to see you so let me go get you.”

pressing your lips together, you contemplate on whether you should let him. if you do, won’t you be turning whatever the two of you have right now into something far more complicated? but it’s only until hyunjin adds a desperate “please?” that all of your dilemma disappears, as if you’re being cast into his spell—“okay.”

—

while heading to the gate, you have the biggest urge to book a massage appointment. dodging jisung’s questions and running away from him after the first period was draining, but having to spend the day running back and forth between two buildings because thinking that volunteering as the lecturers’ teaching assistant was draining on a whole new level. other than feeling like your legs are gonna come off, your mind also feels like it’s gonna blow off—you can’t stop recalling all the things you need to start working on as soon as possible, but stepping into hyunjin’s car turns everything to 180 degrees.

you’d like to think that it’s because of the faint lavender aroma coming from his car freshener along with the heavenly cool air conditioner, but no. you know full well it’s because of the way hyunjin’s smile lit up, his eyes disappear into two small crescent moons, and his blonde hair which is becoming one with the warm orange sky that brings peace to your heart.

“hi,” he breathes out the moment you close the door, and you do the same except for looking at him, which causes hyunjin to furrow his eyebrows while speeding away.

the way home is silent, just the way you like it, but you know full well that it’s not hyunjin’s cup of tea. he doesn’t need to say it, his action is showing it all as he’s been fidgeting non stop, wiping his sweaty palm along his jeans while occasionally licking his plump lips. hyunjin’s a very vocal person. he’s talkative and loud—including in bed. you press your warm cheeks over the realization of your own thoughts, embarrassed. you can’t possibly suspect hyunjin for being horny in the morning when you yourself are being like this in the afternoon. it’s uncalled for.

noticing you from the corner of his eye, hyunjin calls out, asking you if there’s anything wrong, totally catching you off guard. what should you say? lying is not your forte, but being honest clearly isn’t the best option right now, at least, not before you shower and appear presentable in front of him—but wait, since when did that matter so much? a few months ago, you even fucked after you ran a marathon.

“y/n?” calls hyunjin for the second time.

“look, hyunjin, really, it’s okay if you’re horny. you can pull over and i can, uh, relieve you and i can just take the bus home after,” you spit out shamelessly while looking at him straight in the eyes, eager to get far away from hyunjin as fast as possible before you go out of your mind.

just like the night before, hyunjin laughs. and just like the night before, his laugh hits differently and it does nothing other than burning your already burnt cheeks for the worse.

“i swear to god, y/n, i’m not horny. i genuinely want to take you home. nothing more,” explains hyunjin, head straight at the road but eyes repeatedly stealing glances at you. “and nothing less,” he adds, voice barely audible but you caught it.

“o— oh.” is all you manage to respond before the ride quickly turns quiet and hyunjin’s hands begin fidgeting again, all the while you’re trying to decode what he has just said—what does he mean by genuinely wanting to take you home? do fwb do this too? what happened to no fucks given?—and it goes on until hyunjin hits the break in front of your old apartment building.

“we’re here,” says hyunjin, breaking the silence by unlocking the car door.

“we’re here,” you repeat after him, already opening the door and setting a foot out. “uh, thank you.”

“don’t mention it.” hyunjin shoots you his signature smile the moment you lower yourself to meet his eye level from outside the car; this time, you have no choice but to fall under his spell.

“hey, uh, you wanna come in?” you ask, biting your lower lip as a way to punish yourself for being so indecisive. one second you want to run away from him and the next second you want to be near him. come on, get a grip.

as if the punishment isn’t enough, hyunjin declines your offer, all while chuckling with his head thrown back. “for the third time, y/n. i’m not horny. go in and rest up.” 

“if you say so.” you shrug, giving him a small smile before turning around, making sure not to look back, only to fail when you hear the engine driving away.

—

you can’t quite tell—no, you can’t tell. you don’t get it. there’s an unexplainable empty space in your heart that is caused by hyunjin’s rejection. is it because you’re just not used to see him without having to fuck him? or is it because you’re hurt over the fact that he’s not in the mood to touch you? is it because of last night? is he finally sick of your flaws? things would probably be different if you had retouched your makeup or at least combed your hair before seeing him, would they? either way, you’re fully aware you shouldn’t be torn over your friend with benefits, yet your aching heart says otherwise.

and so when the doorbell rings only a few seconds after you get in and the figure you see through the peephole is no other than the man in question, you spare no time to swing the door open. hyunjin, in return, spares no time to lock his lips with yours right after he utters a brief apology. just like the way hyunjin sneaks his playful hands down your ass, you sneak your tongue in his mouth, and your action makes him smile into the kiss as he leads you back into the room and kicks the door shut with his long legs.

the way to your bedroom is actually pretty short, but with your tongues moving in sync, bodies pressing—glued, even, and eyes continuously closing in pleasure, the short way to your bedroom consists of endless stumbling, tripping, and bumping the door. once inside, you break the kiss and are about to undress yourself when hyunjin beats you to it, settling you down on the bed as he begins taking off your attire one by one ever so effortlessly. and in just a matter of seconds, his lips are back on yours again, floral scented hair falling and brushing against your cheeks, leaving you no time to wonder over the fact that it’s the first time hyunjin has ever undressed you. 

as the kiss continues, you can feel yourself gushing more and more that you start grinding on him mindlessly, needing to feel more than just his bulge poking you. your hands leave his blonde strands to tug on his hoodie, only to have him stop you—one hand around your grip and the other rests on your hip.

“what do you think you’re doing?”

“need you. need to feel you,” you mumble, desperation so visible through your cracked voice. 

“what happened to the girl who was all flustered to sleep with me last night just because i was shirtless?”

autumn nights aren’t supposed to be hot, but hyunjin has proven he has the power to make the impossible happen just with his words and mocking smirk. but the rising heat on your cheeks is nothing compared to the emptiness you feel below, clenching around nothing surely isn’t the best feeling.

“please, jinnie,” you whine, tugging on his hoodie once more, hips moving against his hold.

“fuck.” is all he manages to say before getting off the bed to disrobe himself—hoodie and track pants thrown across the room, now showcasing his toned body and thighs altogether as he hovers over you.

“please take this off too. it looks suffocating,” you say, index finger running faintly through the bulge forming from his tight boxer, making it stand up even more and hyunjin has no choice but to obey you. “put your hair up too please,” you add just when he’s about to dive right back in, and again, your wish is his command.

biting to pull off his hair tie from his wrist, hyunjin smoothly ties his hair back and you’re only given a few seconds to admire his feature before his plump lips coming in contact with your hardened nipple while he toys with the other using his fingers—rubbing and pinching, making your breath hitch over the sensation, fingers digging into his bare shoulders because you don’t want to mess up his hair, and hyunjin’s low grunts pretty much indicate he’s loving it.

“more, please. give me m—”

hyunjin retreats his hand and tongue away from your breast, moving them to your naked pussy,  drawing circles on your outer labia with his middle finger. he teases you just enough and quickly slides in his digit and at the same time sucks on your clit right before you’re about to complain, making you tingle from head to toe.

“you hear that?” he asks, voice muffled, the effect of being too tongue tied from licking every part of your heat, but finger working its magic perfectly, creating loud wet noises from your fluid. “drenched. my pretty y/n is drenched,” says hyunjin, and as much as you want to comment on him for the pet name, you’re too caught up on how his lips vibrate against you the moment he starts palming himself with his unoccupied hand. if he keeps it up, you know you would come undone there and then, and you don’t want that—not yet. so you ask him to stop and he instantly does as told.

“what’s wrong? did i hurt you?” there’s fear written across his expression and heard from his tone, but you’d like to believe your eyes and lips are just playing tricks on you.

“n— no. i just,” you pause to avoid his gazes, but something within you pulls your attention back on him. “i wanna cum with you inside me,” you confess, voice barely audible due to embarrassment; all this time, it’s always been hyunjin to say such things, but perhaps, all the strange tension lately has finally gotten the best of you. you hear him mutter a low “fuck” while his pupils shakes for a brief moment before they somehow appear a shade darker. licking his lower lip, hyunjin pulls you by your legs and rests them on his shoulders, and proceeds to align his tip with your entrance, once again teasing your throbbing core.

the moment you whine is the moment hyunjin pushes himself inside ever so gently, but the stretching still has you throwing your head back, while hyunjin letting our airy moans upon your walls clenching around him. none of you can tell how it’s possible for your vagina to remain so tight after all the countless fucking session for the past half year, but hyunjin doesn’t find that troubling. in fact, he lives for that and it shows from the way his eyes roll to the back of his head as he begins thrusting in and out of you—slowly but steady, veiny hands secured on your hips, vision goes back and forth from your half-lidded eyes to your parted lips.

hyunjin leans down to kiss you for a couple of seconds, and when he lets go, he quickens his pace—leaning down once more so his length can go deeper in you, hitting your g-spot. at that very moment, you mentally praise yourself for placing the bedroom mirror right across the bed. it presents you with the magnificent view of hyunjin’s rounded, firm ass bouncing rhythmically whenever he snaps his hips, and placing your hands around them, squeezing them, nearly makes you drool over the sight. with hyunjin constant thrusts, the familiar knot in your abdomen starts to bubble up.

“oh my god,” the two of you whimper in unison as hyunjin begins to lose his tempo, moves also grow sloppy, but never once misses your spot.

“y/n, i— ah— i’m so close. fuck,” he breathes out, sweat forming on his forehead, wetting his baby hair down to his neck and chest, and you can only drool helplessly at the sight.

“me too. please cum inside me, cum with me, hyunjin, please, please,” you beg, voice a pitch higher, almost sounds like you strain your throat, and it stays the same. when you feel hyunjin twitch inside you, your hands automatically reach for the bed sheet again, but it only lasts for a second before they’re being taken by hyunjin’s own hands—he has never done this. while intertwining your fingers, his cock twitches again and his eyes roll to the back of his head, jaw falls open as he calls out your name—you naturally do the same, fingers pressing flat against his white knuckles

“hyu—”

“cum, baby,” he cuts you off, averting his hazy eyes on you, and that’s all it takes for you to break—your orgasm washes over you like waves and you cum undone around hyunjin, shaking and mewling altogether while feel the wet coldness around your inner thigh. hyunjin follows right after, shooting his hot cement inside of you; the man can no longer keep his eyes open as he buries his face on the crook of your neck, his choked moans bring music right to your ear all a while his hot breaths bring goosebumps to your unrecovered body.

after riding out your highs, none of you move. hyunjin stays on top of you, his chest rises and falls according to your hard breathing. somehow, it’s calming you down, but it shouldn’t.

“hyunjin, you’re heavy.”

“oh, sorry,” he chuckles and even without looking, you can tell his eyes are smiling too. with his remaining strength, hyunjin pushes himself up and rests on your thighs to pull his dick out of you, momentarily admiring the mixture of his juice and yours dripping down your cunt before fixing his eyes on you to study your face—also something he has never done before. 

“i’m sorry,” he mutters a few moments later, eyes now on you.

tilting your head, you sit up, resting your upper body with your hands on the bed. “all of a sudden? i came? you always make me feel good.”

“that’s what i’m sorry about. i— i didn’t mean to— i mean, i—”

you reach out to him, gently patting his thigh. “hyunjin, calm down. this isn’t like you,” you whisper the last sentence, knowing that perhaps, now’s the time to talk things out, to stop whatever is going on, and go back to how things are used to be, maybe? your heart’s just been restless for too long and apparently, hyunjin seems to be in a similar situation too.

“i’m sorry. i didn’t mean to keep using you like this. i genuinely meant what i said. i only wanted to take you home, but we ended up here and—”

“isn’t that what fwb do?” you pull your hand off his thigh, and a frown painted across his face as if he’s questioning your question. “that’s what we agreed on. we have our fwb rules, remember?”

“one, be very casual. two, no strings attached. three, no fucks given outside of the, well, literal fucking,” says hyunjin, proving he has memorized every words to the back of his mind.

nodding, you carefully bring back your hand to his thigh, repeating the same movement you did before. “exactly. so you don’t have to be sorry. don’t worry, i’m not feeling used at all.” you end it with a smile.

hyunjin mirrors you, he smiles too; his eyes fall to where your hand is. “but what if i’m breaking them? the rules,” asks the boy whose cold hand is now on top of your warm one. “what if i like you?” his eyes find their way back to you, and that’s when you know. the difference between your temperatures; the difference between your smile and his—the sadness that lies within.

that’s when you understand. everything finally makes sense; every one of hyunjin’s unusual acts. the constant texts and calls, the undressing, the pet names, the facial expression, the hand holding.

what happened to the rules? feelings. that’s what happened. to hyunjin, it’s his feelings over the rules.

but you, what about you? the butterflies, the irregular increasing heartbeats, the flushing cheeks, the overthinking, the disappointment at some point.

“y/n,” hyunjin calls out and you don’t get to get back to him because he’s already an inch away from you, momentarily eyeing your lips before he closes the distance. once again, his blonde hair falls down, brushing against his cheek before meeting yours and it tickles you, but not in the same way as how his kiss tickles your heart; giddy.

what happened to the rules? unwanted feelings. that’s what happened. to you, it’s the unwanted feelings against the rules. and for now, the unwanted feelings are too strong for you to push him away, so you pull him close instead. for now.

—

gen’s masterlist