#gemcham

Looking at both sides we know if keefe past gets brought up and he defends him it might just cost him the award. Which would kill keefe because he knows how much the award means to him and he want kelvin to get everything he wants in life/be happy. To be the reason he couldn't be happy,to hold him back in such a way would break his heart like it did in season 3.

Then he would feel bad about being happy that he defended him and their relationship. It would make him so happy but then really sad.

Then we have the senerio in which he defends his group but doesn't confirm his relationship with keefe which would then result in him probably staying and cheering him on but he would probably cry later because kelvin hiding him. Kelvin might say something along the lines of "yeah we are both gay but that doesn't mean we are together"💔

or "defends" keefe past if its brought up by saying horrible things about the person he used to be before that. Which I personally think would result in a fight because keefe would be confronted with a possiblity that kelvin thought so lowly of him and only thinks of him as a good person because he was saved. That if he wasnt saved he would think of him as a bad person even if we know as a audience that keefe saved or not was still fundalmentally a good person. (Pretty sure kelvin thinks this too but he would be blinded by the possibilty of winning that he would say some pretty mean things)

Yes, sometimes Kelvin can be a little dismissive of Keefe. But he's also so affirming for so much of the time, in surprising ways?? When Keefe said he wanted to bring his swords for Cousin's Night, I thought "Kelvin is gonna be embarassed of him and tell him to cool down." But not only does he encorage Keefe, but cheers him on during the performance AND tells him it was the best part of the night!!

In S2 when Keefe gets caged for not carrying the cross, he tells Kelvin he failed him. Again, I thought "Kelvin is gonna agree as a way of deflecting from his own shortcomings" but Kelvin was perplexed Keefe would even think that and promptly told him HE was the one to fail. He even desperately tells the men to take the cross off Keefe's back bc he's so worried about him he doesn't even care about the bet.

Kelvin constantly owns up to his shortcomings with Keefe, sometimes later than sooner, but always. And he always voices how proud he is of him, how important he is to him, what a great job he's doing.

And Keefe on the other end provides Kelvin with encouragement. He's someone who knows Kelvin personally and yet doesn't see him like a desaster baby like the rest of his family. He is there to pick up the pieces everytime Kelvin is down and to make him believe he can do it.

Season 1, ep. 8 and 9, Kelvin's Drunkenness and Keefe's Banishment, including also, The Aftermath.

Part One, Keefe:

I believe Kelvin and Keefe have VERY different interpretations of the conversation that took place.

The audience (we) see it from the perspective of the gemstones. Kelvin says they're 'not being true to themselves' and we, having just seen the shit the gemstones are going through, see that as, yah, of course, the gemstones are not being true to themselves, but Kelvin's audience, in the reality of their situation, is Keefe.

Keefe doesn't know about the Gemstone drama. He doesn't know. He doesn't know about the prostitute or the drugs or the blackmail or the firing or the anything. He doesn't know .

So, Keefe, being in love with or having a crush on Kelvin, at this point, naturally, in line with and confused by the Christian rule, thinks Kelvin is talking about them.

About him.

He can't be true to himself because he's queer (something demonized or, in the least, thought to be demonized in their religion, the religion hes trying to be a part of) and he's celibate, right alongside Kelvin. And beyond that, what is thought to be 'true' of himself, what is left (at this moment in Keefe's development) is satanism. So, being true to himself, that's not an option. But Kelvin is now saying that not being true to oneself is bad? So, lost and confused, thinking that Kelvin is talking about them, him, he says, (paraphrasing, from memory) 'dont you think God's being a little harsh?' with a heartbroken expression on his face. and, Kelvin, absorbed with his own drama and thoughts bulldozes right through it. He cements that thought of confusion and heartbreak by asserting that not being true to oneself is horrible and Keefe, not knowing anything about what's going on, turns it back to himself in the form of,

How can I be enough? How can I possibly be true to myself while adhering to the constraints that have been put upon me by my own desire to be better? To move from my past?

And it's even more heartbreaking for him, because he idolizes Kelvin.

So, it's also in the form of,

How can I be enough for him? What can I do to be enough for him?

And then, Kelvin banishes him. It shatters his hope that he can fix this, that he can part his way through the sea of confusion and reach the man on the other side in the form he'd be most willing to be proud of.

And, now, with no Christianity, nothing, he's still trying to make sense of what Kelvin said, and all he has, is yes, his queer identitiy, but also, Satanism and BDSM.

Only, he is still confused and hopeless and yearning and hurting. Going back to being 'the baby' didn't help him be 'true to himself'. It only made him more lost and confused. He doesn't like it, not anymore. It's not right.

Whenever Kelvin shows up to save him, the pieces of his spirit slot together, he knows where he belongs. His confusion is lessened. His most truest self, most authentic state, is right by Kelvin's side.

For the rest of the seasons, we do not see his past Goth buddies or Satanist friends. His most truest self is no longer with them (if it ever was, dude's got some trauma), he's discovered his purpose and more parts of his identity, in the presence of the 'handsome man' by his side.