I Have Never Seen a Batman Movie: A Confession
After spending far too long trying to come up with a clever title for this piece, it occurs to me that, like dealing with females and fencing foils, it is probably best to be blunt. I have never seen a Batman movie. Not Keaton, nor Nolan, nor Kilmer, nor West. The most of the Batman movies I've seen is a little bit of Clooney, but not in its entirety and not in one sitting. I also have not read any of the comics, even though I am an avid comic reader. In fact, my only experience with Batman was watching reruns of the Adam West TV show with my parents on TV Land, back before I even knew that being a nerd was cool.
Now, as a nerd, (if you will still allow me to go as such) I realize that I have committed what many view as a mortal sin. As penance for my sins, I’ve been assigned to watch five The Last Airbenders and ten X-Men: The Last Stands. I also have to volunteer for ten hours at the local comic book shop, converting the heathens. But of course, as any one who was raised Catholic knows, my nerd soul is still in jeopardy until I change my ways. Thus my Batman journey begins. As I go along, I will be writing a brief piece on each film. Now let me be clear: I am not a film critic. There are very few films that I have come out of with a feeling of agony and despair. I also think that there is a really good reason to watch films that are bad or that you think you are not going to like, but more on that later. I am simply a writer who likes inciting conversation on a variety of topics, especially films. Thus I implore you to comment on my thoughts and engage me in conversation about these pieces. I find that film critics tend to be incredibly critical to a point where the bad parts of a movie overshadow the good. I tend to find that the good parts overshadow the bad. Additionally, I don’t thirst for human blood or sleep in a coffin, so film critic is off my list of potential careers. Now before you all suggest the order in which you think the movies ought to be watched, I am watching the movies in this order. I will start with Michael Keaton (Batman, 1989, and Batman Returns, 1992), then onto Adam West (Batman: The Movie, 1966), then Kilmer and Clooney (Batman Forever, 1995, and Batman and Robin, 1997 respectively) and finally round it out with the Nolan Trilogy (Batman Begins, 2005, The Dark Knight, 2008, and The Dark Knight Rises, 2012). The true nerds have already stopped reading and have started writing me an angry comment about how I am skipping the animated films and the 1940’s serials. However, I am limiting myself to the live action films intended to be viewed in one sitting. Even with that limitation, I am going to get a lot of time getting to know the Dark Knight. And with that, I am ready to go watch Michael Keaton’s Batman. Will he find enjoyment in what many have called the second greatest Batman movies? Will he find atonement for his nerdy soul? And will he try to hit on the cute girl who moved in next door? Tune in next week to find out! Same blog time! Same blog place!
