#gaslight gatekeep gotoki

Flum: How did none of you hear what I just said?

Milkit: I've been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.

Ink: I got distracted about halfway through.

Eterna: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

Milkit: Flum, I'm sad.

Flum: *Holds out arms for a hug* It's going to be okay.

Ink: Eterna, I'm sad.

Eterna, nodding: mood.

Ink: You know those things will kill you, right?

Eterna, pouring another glass of whiskey: That's the point.

Flum, smoking a cigarette: We're trying to speed up the process.

Milkit: *Nods while eating raw cookie dough*

Ink: Why are Milkit and Flum sitting with their backs to each other?

Eterna: They had a fight.

Eterna: Then why are they holding hands?

Ink: They get sad when they fight.

Eterna: Care for another sundae, weenie?

Flum: I am not a weenie!

Ink: Relax, you're among friends. *raises her drink*

Flum: My friends don't hang out at Weenie Hut Jr's.

Milkit: You tell 'em, Flum! *sips her drink*

Flum: Milkit, what're you doing here?

Milkit: I'm always here on Double Weenie Wednesdays.

Flum: There is no future. there is no past. do you see? Time is simultaneous, an intricately structured jewel that humans insist on viewing one edge at a time, when the whole design is visible in every facet.

Milkit:

Ink:

Eterna:

Everyone Else At Flum’s Surprise Birthday Party:

Milkit: All I asked was if you wanted to cut your birthday cake first.

Milkit: On the count of three, what's your favorite cake? One, two, three-

Milkit and Flum, in unison: Chocolate cake peanut butter frosting with chocolate chunks!

Ink: Our turn, Eterna! One, two, three- vanilla!

Eterna, deadpan: I've never had cake, what is cake.

Eterna: Dammit, Flum!

Flum: What?! It wasn't me!

Eterna: Sorry, force of habit. Dammit, Milkit!

Milkit: Not me either.

Eterna: Oh….. Then who set the house on fire?

Ink: *whistles*

Eterna: Have you seen Flum around here?

Ink: Ugh, yes. She made a horrible mess of the blood fountain.

Milkit: It looks fine to me?

Ink: IT USED TO BE WATER!!!

Milkit: *Trying to fill out legal paperwork stuff*

Were you guys born AMAB or AFAB?

Eterna: Bold of you to assume I was born at all.

Ink: I personally was created in a lab.

Flum: I just straight up spawned lol.

Eterna: *Screams*

Flum: *Screams louder to assert dominance*

Milkit: Should we do something?!

Ink, observing: No, I want to see who wins this.

Milkit, setting down a card: Ace of spades

Flum, pulling out an Uno card: +4

Eterna, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you!

Ink, trembling: What are we playing?

Eterna: *Gently taps table*

Flum: *Taps back*

Milkit: What are they doing?

Ink: Morse code.

Eterna: *Aggressively taps table*

Flum: *Slams hands down* YOU TAKE THAT BACK-

Milkit: Violence isn't the answer.

Flum: You're right.

Milkit: *sighs in relief*

Flum: Violence is the question.

Milkit: What?

Flum, bolting away: And the answer is yes.

Milkit, running after them: NO-

(Eterna: Violence isn't the answer.

Ink: You're right.

Eterna: *sighs in relief*

Ink: Violence is the question.

Eterna: What?

Ink, bolting away: And the answer is yes.

Eterna, running after them: NO-)

Milkit: How do I deal with my enemies?

Flum: Kill them.

Milkit: That's a bit extreme, I was hoping for a more passive solution

Flum: Kill them only a little?

Milkit: Is something burning?

Flum: Just my love for you.

Milkit: Master, the toaster is on fire.

Milkit: Remember when you didn't try to solve all your problems with attempted murder?

Flum: Stop romanticizing the past.

Flum: I think I'm having a mid-life crisis.

Milkit: You're like 16 years old.

Flum: I MIGHT DIE AT 30!

Flum: petition to remove the 'd' from Wednesday.

Milkit: Wednesay?

Flum: Not what I had in mind, but I'm flexible!

Flum: *Stubs her toe* FUCK!

Milkit: Mind your language!

Flum: What else am I supposed to say, "Woe is I"???

Milkit:

Flum: You have to accept that swear words are

necessary sometimes.

Flum: I slept for almost 12 hours but I might still be tired so lets go for 12 more just incase.

Milkit: Flum, that's a coma!

Flum: Sounds festive.

Flum: Look. I may not be a saint, but it's not like I've killed anybody. I'm not an arsonist. I've never found a wallet outside of an IHOP and thought about returning it but saw the owner lived out of state so just took the cash and dropped the wallet back on the ground.

Milkit: Okay, that's really specific, and that makes me think that you definitely did do that.

Flum: I've already sent good vibes your way. they're coming. There's nothing you can do to stop them.

Milkit: This is the most threatening way I've ever been cheered up.

Flum: You're the love of my life and my best friend, I would do anything for you.

Milkit: I want you to eat three meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule.

Flum: Absolutely not.

Ink: You love me, right, Eterna?

Eterna: Normally, I'd say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere and I don't like it.

Milkit: You often use humor to deflect trauma.

Flum: Thank you.

Milkit: I didn't say that was a good thing!

Flum: What I'm hearing is, you think I'm funny.

Flum: *Accidentally hits Milkit in the face*

Flum: *Trying to decide between saying “I'm fucking sorry” and “Are you okay"*

Flum: ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY?!

Milkit: What's wrong with you?!

Flum: If there's going to be a big dramatic scene, wait until I get back.

Milkit: Of course. I can't flip this table by myself.

Flum: I turned out perfectly fine!

Milkit: Master, this morning you thought a ghost made your toast.

Flum: I DIDN'T PUT THE BREAD IN! YOU DIDN'T PUT THE BREAD IN!!!

Flum: I want to wake up with you every day for the rest of our lives!

Milkit: I wake up at 4:30 AM.

Flum:

Flum: I want to see you at some point every day for the rest of our lives!

Flum, in a meeting: My policy is if you see something, say something.

Milkit: I saw a squirrel in a tree today!

Flum, with the tone of someone who is used to Milkit: Outstanding.

Flum: This is what I'm talking about people.

(Eterna, in a meeting: My policy is if you see something, say something.

Ink, if she could see: I saw a squirrel in a tree today!

Eterna, with the tone of someone who is used to Ink: Outstanding.

Eterna: This is what I'm talking about people.)

Flum: I'm a reverse necromancer.

Milkit: Isn't that just killing people?

Flum: Ah, technicality!

Flum: It's dark in here.

Milkit: Don't worry dude I got this!

Milkit: *Stomps her feet*

Milkit: *Skechers light up*

Flum: I am not out of control! I'm a law abiding citizen!

Eterna: Really? Name one law

Flum: Don't kill people?

Eterna: That's on me. I set the bar too low.

Flum: Today is a day of running through hurdles.

Eterna: Aren't you supposed to jump OVER hurdles?

Flum: Whatever. Fear is only something to be afraid of if you let it scare you.

Flum: In light of what you did for me, you can hug me for four to five seconds.

Milkit: FORTY FIVE SECONDS?!?

Flum: No! Four to five seconds!

Milkit: Too late!!!

(Eterna: In light of what you did for me, you can hug me for four to five seconds.

Ink: FORTY FIVE SECONDS?!?

Eterna: No! Four to five seconds!

Ink: Too late!!!)

Flum: I prevented a murder today.

Milkit: Really? How'd you do that?

Flum: Self control.

Milkit: You know, I'm starting to regret showing you how that blender works.

Ink, drinking toast: Why do you say that?

Flum: So what's for dinner?

Milkit, staring at the food she just burnt: Regret.

Eterna: Ink was banned from the chicken shack, so we had to go out of town to get some.

Ink: Well, they shouldn't say "all you can eat" if they don't mean it.

Eterna: Ink, you ate a chair.

Milkit, reading the paper: Someone tried to fight a squid at the aquarium today!

Flum: *walks in covered with ink* Well, maybe the squid was being a dick.

Flum: Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I'll wait.

Milkit: You and me!!!