#garette

So many clowns >:D

Names in order (Top left to bottom right)

Bazoo (He/They)

Edgar (He/Him)

Floppy (They/Them)

Zanzi (She/Her)

Peeper (She/They)

Well there are thousands of reasons why I don't do so. There's work, then there's the lack of topic to write about. 

Until I came across a fanmade video of Jireh Lim's Magkabilang Mundo and Simple Plan's Jetlag that I started thinking, hey, Long Distance Relationship is kind of a good topic to write about.

I'm not new to the idea of being in a long distance relationship or LDR as many calls it. Almost, if not all my previous including my current one is a LDR. Although it's not the overseas (or outer space lol) type of relationship, being miles away, travelling for hours and hours just to see each other is still considered as a LDR. 

My Story.

Well my current boyfriend's from Pampanga and I'm living in Cavite. We're roughly 115-120km (71-74 miles) from each other and it takes two and a half to three hour drive just to get from each other's place. That doesn't include traffic, weather conditions and road conditions. How did we start to have a relationship in the first place? He was introduced to me by a common friend. How did we end up together? Well that's a different story. :) 

What irks me.

Being in a LDR will surely test your patience, trust and loyalty to each other. I admit, we are not perfect. We do get tempted, neglect, and forget we are in a relationship when meeting people. I for one got to a point that I almost gave up my current one just because I met someone whom I feel I can connect to easily. And then that flirting stage sure didn't last the way ours did. And we're not even seeing eye to eye everyday!

Another thing that irks me about being in a relationship is the communication problems. What if my cellphone's off and he's trying to call me? What if my internet has gone wonkers that day and he's waiting for me to go on so we could video chat? Those parts are the hardest. Especially when both parties are uninformed and both are worried about what each other's been up to because, again, it would take hours and even a day or two for LDR couples to check up on each other physically.

Even without time adjustments, our daily lives could prove such hindrance to our communication with each other. With me working and him studying, we hardly even talk after school (I'm a teacher, he's a student - DIFFERENT school - because, we're in a LDR. duh.). Most of the time, we just went on to chat and then he has to do school stuffs and I have to do mine as well. We do make the most of the weekends, though. There are times we meet, most often we just talk the whole day via video chat, Facebook or via online games.

Yes, me and my boyfriend have the same time zone but I just couldn't imagine people waking up at wee hours of the night just to say good morning to their special someone overseas. That's romantic, though I do not think I could see myself being that far away from someone. Then again, if both of you needs to and both of you plan to provide a good life for each other in the future, then I might just do it. I just don't think our relationship is ready for such commitment. Yes, we both agree our almost three-year relationship is young and still vulnerable.

The Perks

Of course, even if you could enumerate tons of reason why it's hard to maintain a LDR, there are its perks.

One is that you don't get to have that "too clingy" feel with your partner. You're miles away! And I don't think it's good to reason "you're too clingy, you're always there even when I needed space" for a break up. Because, let's face it, you've got miles and miles of space for yourself to think and be free. It's just that you have to be responsible for your actions and considerate to your partner. You wouldn't go clubbing 'til 3am without telling him where you are and who you're with because, seriously, who would want to stay up not knowing a thing about what their partner's up to? Do you seriously think a normal boyfriend would agree with you going to a bar with a bunch of guy friends of yours? He's not stupid, girl. And so are you.

Another perk is that it will give you more time to realize how important he is in your life. Can you survive days or weeks without asking him how he is? Yes? Then, I'm sorry to tell you, it's more likely he'll go looking for another especially if he feels the same way. Give him space and time but do not totally ignore him. Give him time to miss you, but remember, moderation is the key. Hold the puppy too tight and it will suffocate, let it go and it will go lost and find another owner to take better care of him.

Lastly, the months or even years that you haven't seen each other might be agonizing but the happiest is when both of you finally see each other after a long time. Nothing could replace the feeling of hugging and kissing someone you haven't seen in a while. It's one of the best feelings in the world that it could make you cry tears of joy just by holding him close.

How to make it last?

Ah, the hardest question every person in LDR has to face everyday.

Trust, loyalty, honesty, respect, and love. These are just words but put them into action, they're going to be your key to the best relationship you'll ever have. I do not think I need to explain each one because when one of these loses, the other ones shatter. 

I had this problem with my boyfriend before, I caught him flirting with someone else and it hurt me, a lot. I lost my trust in him and being in a LDR actually doubled the pain because unlike that girl, I do not get the chance to be physically with him everyday. Then I started doubting his loyalty and much more, his love for me. Yes, we're over that now but every time those thoughts cross my mind, I can't help but be hurt.

Another thing I've learned is give them the life that they could live in with or without you. Do not bubble them up in your own world. Because trust me, when you're on the rocks, your selfish attitude will be outweighed with his friends who would encourage him to just break up with you. Let him be friends, with anyone, even girls. Just make a few exceptions and let him know each other's boundaries.

LDR is one of the hardest relationships to maintain but at the end of it all, it surely builds one of the strongest relationships. :)

My tip, just don't engage into one if your boyfriend is a complete stranger. When I mean complete stranger, it doesn't mean that those are only applied to couples who've met online. It also applies to those who have known their partners for a day or a week or two and then they're suddenly in a LDR. While there are rare exceptions to this, and some do stay longer than couples who aren't in a LDR, this is risky and if you're not the risk-taking type, then don't commit yourself into one. This is, of course, my opinion and do not let me tell you how to live your life. It's just my two cents.

That's it. I don't know if I made any sense. But I think it's the most sensible post I made in a while. If you are in a LDR, good luck and make the most of it. Do not give up because if it last, you've got forever to be with each other. And that's what you would really want for each other, right? :)