#gardner x reader

You looked down at his face, peaceful and relaxed in his sleep, looking paler than usual and downright ethereal in the moonlight streaming through your window. His plush lips parted slightly as he exhaled, and you studied last dark eyelash as they fanned against his pale cheeks. Your fingers gently brushed through his wild hair, and he stirred slightly. You froze, afraid the touch had woken him, but all he did was rub his face against your sweater before the sound of deep breaths filled the room once again.

As you resumed your stroking of his hair, you realized that whatever it was you had argued about was unimportant. You knew you loved Gardner, there was absolutely no doubt in your mind how you felt about the goofy, soft, awkward, beautiful man with his boat and his stamp collection and his zest for life and his unrelenting passion for the people and the things he cared about. You felt your eyelids slowly droop closed as you took comfort in the weight of your boyfriend pressing into you, keeping you safe and warm and loved.

And if I've said a hundred times before

Expect a thousand more

You'll never take that away

The first time he said it was an accident. He had truly not thought about it, not taken the time to really analyze how he felt about you, caught up as he was in the exhilaration of finding you and learning about you and developing this new, wonderful thing with you.

It was the simplest thing, too, that made him say it. He had been trying to make you laugh, telling you about some of the dumb suggestions Calvin had made as far as his next employment opportunity after he had quit being a mailman. Some throw-away comment that he made just as you had reached for your drink caused you to laugh and nearly drop the glass, which just caused you to laugh even more. Your eyes lit up and you threw your head back in mirth, letting out an unrestrained laugh, loud and happy, and it just hit him.

“God, I love you.”

Your laughter died down to soft giggles, before you realized what exactly he said. Your smile was still plastered on your face, but your eyes grew wide in shock. “W-what?”

“Um, I said I- yeah, yeah, I love you. I really do.”

You stared at him for a moment, silently, and Gardner could feel his heart rate pick up, his palms going sweaty from nerves. Had he said the wrong thing? Was it too soon? Should he not have said it? He was absolutely certain it was the truth, but now he was terrified he would scare you away.

“I-I'm sorry. I mean, I'm not sorry for how I feel, I won't apologize for that. But I'm sorry if you didn't want to hear that. I'm sorry If that was too soon. I'm really sorr--”

You never found out what else he was sorry for as you grabbed his shirt front and pulled him to you, right there in the middle of the bar, and planted your lips against his, effectively shutting him up for the next few minutes. When you finally pulled away again, you made sure to whisper for Gardner only,

“I love you, too, idiot.”

So expect me to be

Calling you to see

If you're okay when I'm not around

Asking if you love me

I love the way you make it sound

Three weeks. It had been three weeks since your boyfriend had been dragged off by his “brother” on some boys' trip as he had called it, leaving you behind and without his presence for 21 long days. They were due back at the end of the week, seven days that seemed to stretch out like a year before you.

You dragged yourself back home after another long day at work, wanting nothing more than the pint of Rocky Road in your freezer and a nice, long sleep. After a scalding hot shower, you put on your favorite pajamas (fuzzy warm pants and one of Gardner's old, faded t-shirts) and promptly fell asleep before you were even able to so much as braid your hair back for the night.

What must have been several hours later, judging by the darkness outside, you were pulled slowly from a rather deep sleep by an annoying and insistent sound. You reached toward your alarm clock, only to realize that the source of the noise was actually your phone, which you hd left on your bed during your shower and was now lodged somewhere under you. You lifted your leg and dug around, retrieved it from under your thigh, and promptly smashed the volume button before throwing it back down by your pillow. You were just about asleep again when the stupid thing started vibrating, alerting you to another call. This time you decided to answer it, letting out little more than a tired grunt.

“'Lo?”

There was a moment of silence, and then an robotic voice greeted you. “Hello. You have a collect call from,” pause, then a familiar voice, “It's me!!” you sat bolt upright, nearly dropping the phone. “Do you accept the charges?”

“Yes!” you practically scream into the phone. “Yes I accept!”

There was a bit of noise down the line, then quiet for a moment, before you tentatively spoke up again, “Uh...Gardner?”

“Honey I am so sorry it's collect I SWEAR I will pay you back!” Gardner's tired and slightly panicked voice called out to you. “I promise, the moment I get ho-”

“I don't give a shit about that,” you interrupted him, feeling an ache in your chest ease at the sound of his voice. You had been a little worried all day as you had not heard form him or Calvin for nearly three whole days now. Usually Gardner was calling you every night, excitedly telling you where they were now, what they had seen that day, and reassuring you that he loved you and he would be home soon. “Why are you calling collect? Where's your phone? Better yet, where have you been for three days, I've been so worried!”

“I know, I'm sorry,” your boyfriend assured you softly. Then his voice jumped an octave like it always did when he was irritated. “It's not because I didn't want to call, believe me. Let's just say Calvin had a little...mishap...which resulted in all but one of our bags falling into the Mississippi. My phone, my wallet, my camera, all of my clothes, as well as Calvin's phone, wallet, and clothes all in the bottom of a fucking river. Thankfully Calvin had his passport stashed in his car for some reason. We've spent most of today running around trying to get bank cards replaced so we can get back home.”

You sat in silence, stunned by everything your boyfriend had just told you. You could not decide whether to laugh or cry or scream or ask him if he was lying and playing a prank on you. Instead, you just sighed and asked him, “So, you're coming home, then?”

You could almost feel Gardner's sigh through the phone. “Yes. I'm calling it, we're cutting this road trip short and coming home.”

A squeak left your lips as you tried not to scream and cry. He was coming home early! Gardner was coming home, you would hopefully see him as early as tomorrow afternoon, and it was the best news you had heard in a very long time.

“Baby, I am so sorry your trip has ended on a sour note, I really am. I know you guys were really looking forward to boys time, and you deserve it. But I am so excited to see you,” by the time you reached the end of your statement, you were practically whispering, feeling choked up and near tears. You were acting ridiculous, you knew it, but it had really been tough not to have your goofy boyfriend around, your rock and your source of comfort, the one person you had grown so used to being the one constant in you otherwise hectic life, and it was really affecting your mood and your attitude badly.

A soft huff of laughter sounded over the phone, and Gardner asked, “You really miss me that much?” When you failed to answer right away, his tone turned softer and more serious. “Hey, are you okay?”

You sniffed and promptly pulled yourself together. “Yeah, I just miss you, Gardner. I miss you a lot. When will you be back? Where are you even?”

“I miss you, too, (Y/N). We're in some podunk town in southern Missouri right now. It's about a 9 hour drive home, and we're going straight through, no stops-no stops, Calvin!- except bathroom breaks. So sometime tomorrow afternoon.” The smile that split your face was one to rival the Cheshire cat, and you felt yourself relaxing just a little more as you were reassured that you and Gardner would soon be reunited. Thankfully, you had the whole next day off to plan a little something for just the two of you to enjoy after being apart, a little welcome home party.

“Okay,” you said quietly, phone pressed hard to your ear, as if that would suddenly make the physical distance between you smaller. “I guess I'll see you tomorrow.”

You let out a yawn and heard Gardner laughing down the line. “I'll let you go, honey. I just really needed to hear your voice and to tell you that I'm coming home.”

“I'm glad you did,” you told him honestly. “I had a really shit day, but it's all better now that I know I'll get to see you soon.”

“You still love me?” Gardner asked, and you chuckled.

“Of course I do, silly,” you assured him. “To the moon and back.”

“I know,” your boyfriend told you. “I just love hearing you say it. And I love you, too. More than anything.”

You rang off with promises that you would be home all day and that he could come over as soon as he was back in town. Feeling much warmer and more relaxed, you held the shirt up close to your nose, breathing in the lingering scent of Gardner's soap and distinct smells, and fell asleep with plans for the following evening swirling in your mind.

I thought that the world had lost its sway

Then I fell in love with you

And you took that away

You take away the old

Show me the new

You and Gardner had met shortly after he had gone through a really rough patch in his life. You did not know many details, but from what you gathered after a slightly tipsy conversation with Calvin, Gardner had just lost his job and experienced his first real heartbreak before you came into his life. Well, fell in (quite literally).

You had been in a hurry, rushing to find lunch on your short break from work, and all but ran into a cafe down the street. Unfortunately, someone had been about to step out when you reached to push the door open, and you promptly tripped over them and fell at their feet.

“Oh my god! I am so sorry!” a voice called out to you, and a hand circled your arm and helped pull you back to your feet. You brushed off your dress before you caught sight of a pair of feet still in front of you. Your eyes slowly made their way up a pair of legs, up, up, up, until you were looking into a pair of kind and rather stunning hazel eyes. The man before you looked to be about your age, with a strong nose and sharp jawline, skin so pale it was almost translucent, a bright shock of messy, red hair, and a slight smile. Despite the purple shadows under the man's eyes and the general tired look to him, the man was a cutie, and you could feel your face start to heat up as you realized you had been staring for far too long now.

“Oh!” you exclaimed, snapping out of your thoughts. “It's um, no problem. My fault, actually. Should have been paying more attention. Um, I'm (Y/N), by the way. Not that you should care, I'm just some strange girl from off the street.” You were rambling now and you knew it, but you could not seem to make yourself stop. Cutie seemed to be having a strange affect on you and you lost your mental filter entirely.

“I'll...just go now,” you said, promptly turning back to the cafe door, intending to scurry off back to work, appetite gone.

“I don't think you're strange,” Cutie suddenly spoke up.

“What?” you had stopped in your tracks, quickly turning back to him.

“I don't think you're strange,” he said again. “Although, it might seem a little strange for you to walk out of here, empty handed, after having just walked in.”

“Oh. Well I-uh,” you stammered, looking for some excuse, a reason to make a quick getaway. Oh, why doesn't a sinkhole just open up and swallow me whole, you thought as you realized you were caught out.

“Come on, I'm buying you a smoothie,” the stranger said, turning toward the counter before stopping and turning toward you again. “I'm Gardner, by the way.”

Calvin told you he came home that night, smiling for the first time in weeks, and had not stopped since.

“He wouldn't shut up about you, actually,” he said, leaning quite close before pushing himself off of your shoulder back to an upright position. “It was '(Y/N) this' and '(Y/N) that' for three whole days before I asked him if he even got your phone number or anything.”

You glanced at Gardner, who was pink faced and avoiding eye contact with you at the moment, remembering how you had seen him again in the same cafe five days later, and seemed strangely relieved when you pulled a pen from your purse and wrote your number on the back of his hand, telling him he could use it sometime if he wants. It had been a further week after that before he called you, and now you understood why. He had his heart broken, and was probably not entirely keen on repeating the experience.

You stood on slightly wobbly legs and made your way around the table to your boyfriend, wrapped your arms around his neck and perched yourself on his lap. He finally looked up at you, though still a bit reluctant, and you pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead.

He smiled up at you, and you leaned in to press a gentle kiss to the curve of his lips for good measure.

“What's that for?” he asked, looking up at you with a slight furrow to his brow. You smoothed it with a light touch before answering him.

“Nothing, really. Just wanted to make sure you know that I love you and I'm not going anywhere any time soon.”

It was quiet for a moment as Calvin had run off to who knows where in the house, following whatever crazy idea his alcohol-drenched brain had come up with. You felt more than heard Gardner take a deep breath before he spoke.

“You know you don't have to worry about me, right?” he asked, head tilted back to look up into your eyes now that his brother was no longer present to spill all his secrets.

“What d'you mean?”

“I mean, that stuff is all in the past. Yeah, I was in a funk when I met you, but as soon as you showed up, it was like it all happened to another person. It wasn't me anymore. You replaced all the bad things that I held onto with the good things I hadn't realized I actually needed. The world became easier to navigate. Nothing seemed to bad or so difficult anymore.”

Gardner ended his little declaration with a shrug, as if he had not just finished saying the most beautiful and profound thing someone had ever said to you in your life.

Instead of answering him, you simply stood and pulled him up to his feet. You wrapped your arms back around his neck, pulling him close and pressing your lips to his again. You felt his arms snake around your waist, locking behind your back and pulling you close. After some time that could have been minutes or hours for all the attention you had paid to the outside world at that moment, you pulled away from him, trailing one hand down his arm and interlacing your fingers with his long ones.

“Come on,” you said, pulling him toward the door.

“Where are we going?” he asked with a puzzled look.

You threw a coy smile over your shoulder before giving his hand another tug. “To the boat.”

Calling you to see

Do I try too hard to make you smile

To make a smile

In hindsight, you really should have seen it coming.

A ring your great-grandmother had given you had gone missing off your dresser. You thought you had placed it down next to your favorite apple cider candle, only for it to disappear, causing you to spend three days searching for it. You searched all the usual places, then all the unusual places, even your desk drawers at work, thinking perhaps you had misplaced it, but it was nowhere to be found. You gave up, officially declaring the jewelry lost, and spent the evening at home alone, trying to figure out how you were going to tell your mother that you lost her grandmother's ring.

You decided to drop by Gardner's boat one afternoon after work, only to walk in to him immediately slamming his laptop shut and staring at you with a wide-eyed, guilty look on his face. When you asked what he was doing, he claimed he was looking for something for Calvin.

“He's always trying new recipes, you know, so I thought I'd look some up for him,” he said, slipping the computer onto a shelf and gesturing for you to come sit by him. You were sure this was a lie, as Googling recipes certainly did not warrant such suspicious behavior, but decided to let it slide, as you had no real reason not to believe him.

However, the strange behavior got worse. One afternoon about two weeks later, you and Gardner both had some time off and were spending it together, when he got a phone call and slipped into another room to answer it. This was odd, as he usually only received calls form you, Calvin, or his boss. It certainly was not you on the other line, and he had never felt the need to leave the room for a call from work or his brother before. You knew it was wrong, but you decided to follow him.

He had stepped outside your apartment and into the hallway, so you stood by your door with your ear pressed against it, trying to catch anything you could. He must have been pacing, because you could only catch a few words at a time as the grew louder and then softer again.

“...sure that's right? How much...? ...meet you there at 4 tomorrow...look forward to it...”

You heard him approach your front door and quickly ran into your bathroom and locked the door behind you. You barely registered the front door opening and closing as your breathing picked up and you began to think of all the worst possibilities for his behavior. You did not register Gardner calling out your name before knocking at the bathroom door. The sound pulled you rather suddenly from your panicked thoughts, and you had to quickly sit down on the toilet lid before you fell over.

“(Y/N)? Are you alright?” he called through the door, concern evident in his voice. You knew you had to think fast.

“I-I don't feel good,” you called out, which was actually not a lie. You did find yourself suddenly feeling rather ill. “Maybe you should just go home.”

“What?! Are you sick? Unlock the door, let me come in and check on you.”

“No! I um-don't want you to get sick, too. It might be contagious.”

“I don't care. I've been around you all day, if it's contagious I'm gonna get it anyway.”

“Please just go, Gardner,” you called out. “I'm gonna try taking a shower and going to bed early. Maybe I'll feel better tomorrow.”

“Okay,” he finally relented, sounded disappointed and defeated. “I hope you feel better soon, honey. I love you.”

“Okay, thanks, you too,” you answered, turning on the shower to hopefully drown out any further disappointed sounds or words. Sleep never came to you that night, and you spent the whole next day wound tighter than a drum and jumping at every noise and movement.

At your lunch break you ducked into the ladies' room, hoping to freshen up a bit and try to get your act together for the afternoon. You stood staring at the dark shadows under your eyes that no amount of concealer would cover up, lost in thought, when your phone suddenly started ringing in your purse, causing you to jerk back violently before stomping your foot in pure frustration. You wrenched it out of your bag and answered it without even looking at who was calling.

“Hello?” you practically shouted into the phone?

“Hi, honey,” Gardner's happy voice answered you. “How you feeling today?”

“Fine,” you lied, your grip tightening around your phone.

“Oh, um, well I'm glad to hear that,” the man answered slowly, clearly a little puzzled by your grumpiness. “Think you'd be up for dinner out tonight? My treat.”

“I don't know, Gardner, I didn't sleep the greatest last night and my appetite hasn't been the greatest today,” you answered honestly. You had softened a little, as this was still the man you loved, and thought that maybe you were reacting a little strongly based only on your paranoid suspicions.

“Okay, we'll stay in, then,” he said, clearly not to be deterred from his plan to see you. “Come by the boat. It's supposed to be a beautiful night. I just really want to see you.”

You felt the last of your resolve crumble and you caved, agreeing you would come over. He agreed that if you started to feel ill again, he would bully Calvin into driving you home.

That evening you decided to walk the half a mile or so from your apartment to Calvin's house where Gardner still had his boat parked, taking time to reflect on all that had happened recently. You were not sure what to expect upon arrival, but it certainly was not what you saw.

Gardner had taken the cover off his boat, exposing the deck fully. He had gathered every blanket he owned, as well as a few you were certain you had seen in Calvin's house, as well as every cushion and pillow it seemed he could get his hands on, and piled them on the deck like some sort of hybrid nest-pillow fort. There was a bottle of sparkling cider set beside two trays loaded with food, and fairly lights were strung around the rigging, creating a soft glow around the nest. You had stopped in the middle of the sidewalk just staring at everything, which was where Gardner found you when he emerged from below deck with two glasses in his hands.

“(Y/N)!” he waved at you when he spotted you. “Come on up!” You climbed the ladder to the deck and Gardner reached out to help you on board, hands warm and clammy in they way they were whenever he was nervous.

“Do you like it?” he asked you with a small smile.

“I love it,” you answered honestly. “Did you do all of this?”

“Yep! Well, Calvin helped with the food and dragging all the cushions outside, but it was all my idea. I bought the juice and strung the lights and everything,” Gardner's hands started waving around excitedly as he explained, and you took hold of one again to calm him.

“You did this just for me,” it was more of a statement than a question.

“Well, you seemed so stressed lately I thought it might be nice for you to have a quiet, cozy way to unwind,” he explained, steering you toward a particularly plush looking pile of cushions. You arranged yourself on it in a way that hopefully looked less awkward than it felt, and Gardner promptly wrapped a blanket around your shoulders, enveloping you in warmth and his familiar scent.

You hugged the blanket around yourself, feeling infinitely better, and wondering how you could ever have doubted this wonderful man. He reached out to you with a glass of juice, and soon you both were digging into the food he had prepared. Sandwiches, fruits, and even chocolate and caramel sauces for dipping. It was delicious, and you realized just how hungry you were after barely eating for the past 24 hours. You talked and laughed over your dinner, the conversation slowly dwindling into companionable silence. You were licking a bit of stray chocolate sauce off your finger when Gardner caught your attention again.

“(Y/N)?”

“Gardner?”

“There's...another reason I wanted you to come over tonight. Another reason why I prepared all of this,” he started and turned to face you more directly. “I know I have my faults and my quirks, and sometimes it may seem like I try too hard, yet other times, not hard enough. But I love you more than life itself. What you and me have is so much...different when compared to anything I've ever known. I've not had anybody really be there for me, there because they actually wanted to be and not because they felt obligated or for some ulterior motive. When I look at you, I feel whole, I feel new, I feel invincible. Like I could fly. I could take on the world with you by my side. And that's what I really want. I'm not sure about the rest of the factors in my life, but I know that whatever happens, I want it to happen with you there, too.”

Time seemed to stand still as Gardner shifted so he was on one knee while reaching into his jacket pocket and pulling out a small blue box. You gasped, eyes comically wide as you stared at the box. It all made sense now. The missing ring, the sneaky internet research, the private phone calls. He had been in touch with a jeweler. He needed to know your ring size. Of course. The clues were all there, your mind had just come to the wrong conclusion.

Tears blurred your vision as Gardner opened the box, revealing the most beautiful ring you had ever seen. A princess cut stone of pure (y/b/s) sat in the middle of a sparkling white gold band, two much smaller white diamonds framing it, giving off the most brilliant shine even in the low light surrounding you. It was truly gorgeous, more so than any piece of jewelry or clothing or anything you had ever owned. Taking a deep breath to regain your composure, you looked back up into his hopeful face, flashing a watery smile.

“Ask me,” you said, wanting to hear his sweet voice speak those words. “Ask me, Gardner.”

“(Y/N), will you marry me?” he asked, brilliant hazel eyes flicking back and forth between yours.

“Yes,” you said, nodding vigorously. “Yes, yes, of course I will!”

You threw your arms around him, tackling him back into the pile of blankets and cushions behind him, peppering his entire face with kisses, leaving no exposed skin untouched. He laughed as you even kissed his ears, only stopping when Calvin's voice rang out from the house.

“Well?! What did she say?!”

“Oh, the ring!” you said, suddenly remembering it. “Where's the ring?”

Gardner picked the box up from where he had dropped it on a pillow and quickly slipped it onto your left hand. You stood and flashed your hand toward the house, making sure it caught the glow of one of the lights strung around you.

“What the heck do you think I said, Calvin?!” you shot back at him.

“Smart girl!” he called back to you. “You two have fun, now, and don't rock the boat! Or maybe do!”

You laughed as Calvin closed the window he was leaning out of. His words made you realize something and you quickly turned to Gardner, leveling him with your best serious face.

“I have one condition,” you stated firmly. The smile on Gardner's face slipped a little. “You can keep the boat, but I am NOT living in it!”

He laughed in relief, reaching out to pull you down to him again.

You didn’t have any trips planned for a couple of weeks, so you decided to stay with Trudy after she insisted. She claimed to be bored because her neighbors ‘all had sticks up their asses,’ and her closest friend was the mailman. Retirement wasn’t treating her too well. She was too outgoing for that. 

Trudy whisked you outside. She claimed to be finishing up a surprise and that you needed to wait for her to finish before coming in. You rolled your eyes before plopping down in one of the plastic lawn chairs that sat on the front porch. As you stretched out your legs, a newcomer approached the yard gate. He eyed you warily but continued to march up the porch. You sent him a small smile and a wave, which caused him to freeze. “Uh, hello.” He pulled some letters out of his bag and stuffed them into the mailbox. When you didn’t say anything, just watching him, he cleared his throat. “I-- uh-- who are you?” You held up a finger before leaning over to knock on the door. You could hear Trudy bustling around inside. You pulled a business card out of your back pocket, holding it out to the man. His brows knitted together, and he hesitantly accepted it. His eyes widened, a reaction which surprised you. He returned his gaze to you. This time, you could see the faintest smile on his lips. “You’re the one who sends all the postcards.” Your grin widened as you nodded.

Finally, Trudy emerged. “Well, Gardner, I see you’ve met the little nomad of the family.” She could see the wheels turning in his mind and answered the question before he even got a chance to ask it. “My sister’s kid.” Gardner sucked in a breath, slowly nodding in understanding. She had mentioned her sister once or twice around him, but she never really went into details about her family. “You two come on in! I’ve got it all set up.” Gardner cast you a glance, and you just shrugged. The two of you followed her into the backyard, where she had a model rocket set up. 

“You made another one?” Gardner questioned. Trudy handed you both a pair of goggles.

“Yes, but this one’s special! I figured, why not start (Y/N)’s visit off with a blast?” She paused, laughing at her own joke. You snorted and shook your head. “Plus, this one is sure to get on the neighbor’s nerves.” Trudy mashed a button on the controller. The rocket sputtered to life, shooting up into the air. When the parachute released, it gushed out a massive amount of confetti. Sure enough, the neighbor shot dirty looks in Trudy’s direction as he attempted to swat it away from his yard. You turned to look at Gardner. The goggles combined with the hat from his uniform made him almost look comical. You bit your lip, and a silent laugh shook your shoulders. Pulling off your goggles, you bounded up the stairs and disappeared into the house.

Gardner furrowed his brows as he watched you leave without a word. “Don’t think too much about it. We share the same sense of humor.” Trudy clapped his shoulder.

“Are they... are they always that quiet?” She nodded but didn’t clarify anything. It wasn’t her business to go around spilling your life story. She figured that you would tell him if you wanted to. 

Gardner made his way through the house and saw you sorting through some photographs. He slowed his pace in order to catch a glimpse of them. Several were black and white, while others were full of color. You caught him hovering and smiled at him. His cheeks flushed and he started to hurry away, but you put a hand on his shoulder. You handed him a photograph before turning back to what you were originally doing. Gardner stared at you, bewildered. He muttered a thanks and dashed out of the door. He analyzed the photograph. It was a small Polaroid that captured a lake with a mountain range behind it. He turned it over, noticing that you had written a note on the back of it. 

It was nice meeting you, Gardner.

-(Y/N)

After that day, Gardner would stop by Trudy’s even when he didn’t have any mail for her. He didn’t always approach the house. He usually just stopped by the yard gate for a minute or two, looking to see if you would be on the porch. The first couple of times he saw you, Gardner would just wave before continuing on. He then gathered up enough courage to stop and talk. It was usually something along the lines of “Hello, how are you today?” Though you never said a word to him, you would always give him a bright smile and a thumbs up. But on days that you weren’t there, Gardner would find an envelope addressed to him inside Trudy’s mailbox. He would smile, tuck it away in his bag, and look forward to getting home so he could open it up. It would contain a photograph with a little letter about the circumstances of you snapping the picture. 

You’d be lying if you said that you didn’t purposefully spend a lot of your time on Trudy’s porch in order to catch a glimpse of Gardner. True, he was shy and awkward, but you found that endearing. You had started leaving him little notes and photographs in hopes that they would provide him with a means to strike up a conversation. When you saw his familiar form stop by the yard gate, you would look up, hopeful, but he usually just kept his distance if he didn’t have any mail. Trudy would shoot you knowing glances, inviting Gardner in at every chance she got. 

He regretted mentioning you to Calvin because he wouldn’t stop pestering Gardner about when he was gonna ask you out. Gardner had finally gathered up enough courage to talk to you, and he wasn’t going to ruin everything by awkwardly asking you out. After annoying him for days on end, Calvin finally managed to get Gardner to promise to have an actual conversation with you. 

Gardner spent his entire route pep talking himself. He just couldn’t shake the bundle of nerves that sank to the bottom of his gut like a rock. He finally made it to Trudy’s yard, and he swallowed thickly. You were laying in the grass underneath the shade of a nearby tree. You were holding a book above your head. A notepad and pen sat beside you. When you heard the gate open, you sat up and smiled, motioning Gardner over. He looked slightly worried as he sat on the grass. You pursed your lips and quickly scribbled down something on the notepad. ‘Are you ok?’ Gardner read the note and nodded his head.

“I’m fine. Perfectly fine. I was just-- uh-- I was just wondering, why don’t you talk?” The words tumbled out of his mouth before he could even think about them. His face contorted. “Sorry, that was rude, wasn’t it? You don’t have to tell if you don’t want to. I’ll just... I’ll just go.” Gardner started to scramble to his feet, but your breathy laugh caused him to stop. His heart was hammering in his chest. He had gotten you, the silent beauty, to laugh. Then again, were you laughing at him or with him? His mind was running in a million different directions.

‘No, stay. It’s ok. I’m glad you finally stopped to talk to me.’ You showed him the notepad, and Gardner smiled. His shoulders relaxed a little as he sank back down into the grass. ‘I have vocal cord paralysis. I’ve had it ever since I was a baby.’ Gardner tilted his head. Your eyes searched his expression as he read the note. 

“So, you can’t talk?” You tilted your hand back and forth in a ‘so-so’ manner before scribbling something down again.

‘A little. I had surgery and speech therapy to help, but I never really liked the sound of my voice. It sounded unnatural. I eventually just quit going. I usually communicate via sign language, but I use a notepad for those who don’t know it.’ He nodded, soaking in everything you had just explained. Gardner was finally beginning to feel at ease, and he asked you about your photographs. The two of you fell into a steady rhythm of communication, and you were able to teach him a few basic signs. It was then that you gave him the nickname Honeybee. You thought it was so funny and clever. Gardner... garden... flowers... bees... It took him a moment to get it, and he couldn’t help but laugh when it finally hit him. Trudy glanced out the window and saw the two of you. She hadn’t seen such a smile on either of your faces in a long time.

Gardner continued to visit whenever he got the chance, and he would try to learn signs so that he could surprise you. When he had learned enough to handle a simple conversation with you, you were overjoyed. You couldn’t remember a time where someone outside of your family had learned to sign just for you. 

He eventually gathered up the courage to ask you out. Gardner took you on a picnic where he usually spent his lunch break, which was at a small bench tucked away in the treeline of a nearby park. He brought the PB&J sandwiches, and you brought your camera. You took many pictures of the park and managed to sneak a few of Gardner when he wasn’t looking. 

That became a regular thing for you to do, take pictures of him. At first, he was a little hesitant but quickly warmed up to the idea when he saw how happy it made you. Little did he know that you were working on a surprise for him. You printed out all the pictures you had taken of Gardner over the past couple of weeks and wrote little notes on the back of each one. You tucked them away inside of a scrapbook. You smiled at your handiwork and hoped that Gardner would enjoy it.

When you showed up at Gardner’s boat with a bag slung over your shoulder, he didn’t think much of it. You almost always carried that bag with you. It had important items in it, such as your wallet, as well as some of your photography supplies. You never knew when inspiration would strike, so you always had a camera on you. 

He was showing you his stamp collection when he noticed something was off. You kept biting your lip and rubbing the back of your neck. Gardner slowly closed the book, sheepishly placing it back on the shelf. “Sorry, I know that was probably boring to you.” Your brows furrowed as you shook your head. Gardner’s eyes searched your face. “Then what’s wrong?” You sucked in a breath before digging through your bag. You pulled out a small, wrapped package. Gardner stared at you with confusion etched into his features. You placed it in his lap. “What’s this for?”

“It’s a gift from me,” you signed. He carefully peeled back the wrapping paper, trying not to make a mess with it. A grin crept across his face as he flipped through the pages. He had no clue that you were taking pictures of him all those times the two of you were out together. You pulled out a piece of paper and held it out to him. He gingerly took it in his hands.

‘Gardner, trust me from the bottom of my heart when I say (or... well... write) this, I have never met someone quite as amazing as you. You’re so smart, kind, and funny. I knew from the moment I saw you walk up Trudy’s porch wearing your dorky uniform that we would be good friends. I didn’t expect us to fall in love, but here I am, falling for you. Unfortunately, my visit here is coming to an end. I’ll be traveling through the Carribean for the next couple of weeks or months.’

Gardner looked at you with his brows knitted together. His mind was running all over the place. You gave him a lopsided grin before signing, “Come with me.” He blinked slowly, trying to register what was happening. Gardner opened and closed his mouth, but he couldn’t get any words to form. You sighed and pulled out your notepad and pen. ‘You said it yourself, Honeybee. Remember? You were looking at some of my photographs and said that you wished you could have your own adventure. Now’s your chance.’

He was silent, and you were worried that you said something wrong or tried to move things to fast. You were about to write out an apology when Gardner placed his hand on your knee. “Okay, I’ll go. I want to have an adventure... with you. We could take the boat and... and sail it wherever you want to go!” Gardner gave you a loving smile, and you beamed at him, wrapping your arms around his neck in an embrace. 

“I love you.” Your voice was small and raspy. You cringed at the sound of it. But to him? It was like the voice of an angel. Gardner nearly choked on air, and he couldn’t help the happy tears that stung his eyes.

“I love you too.”

You two had met by accident, you had been sitting on the beach reading a book when all the sudden someone tripped over your legs and sputtered across you in a flurry of sand and swears. He had apologized profusely; he had been looking out at the ocean and hadn’t been paying attention to where he was walking. You wanted to be angry, but he flashed you the most beautiful smile and you knew that you could never be angry at the red headed boy draped across your legs.

As a way to make it up to you, he claimed, he asked you out for lunch. You had nowhere else to be and agreed. What was there to lose? He was very cute and you wouldn’t mind getting to know him better. Secretly, he wanted to get to know you better as well, it’s not everyday you trip over such a stunner.

He took you to a little diner near the beach, claiming that it had the best milkshakes in all of town. Conversation came so easy between you two, and you couldn’t stop smiling all throughout the meal. He was proving to be hilarious and you adored the way his nose scrunched up when he smiled. He had stars in his eyes and you were willing to go stargazing forever if it meant you could be with him.

Once you two had eaten lunch he ordered you both strawberry milkshakes, even after you said you preferred another flavor. He insisted you had to try strawberry, he had had all of the different flavors and assured you strawberry was the best of them all.

Before you knew it you had a 50s style milkshake in front of you with dainty whipped cream and a little cherry on top. He had an identical one in front of him, but he wasn’t focused on it, he was looking at you. He looked like a little kid at christmas, so excited to seeing your reaction to trying it. Grabbing hold of the straw you tried it and decided he was right, this was the best milkshake you’d ever had. Giving him a little thumbs up and a smile, he knew that he had won. You shook your head at how he looked so excited and continued drinking your shake. He finished his in record time you were actually amazed at how he didn’t get a brain freeze. He just looked so happy, you couldn’t believe this man you had met barely a few hours ago was so excited to drinking milkshakes with you.

It was clear you both wanted to see each other again, so you exchanged numbers and left with promises to meet up. Before you knew it, your milkshake dates became a regular thing, and you started hanging out after too. You would walk the beach together and it became a normal thing for him to chatter about anything and give you pretty shells claiming they made him think of you. You invited him to your place where you would throw popcorn at each other during movies neither of you really paid any attention to.

Soon walking the beach together led to clasped hands, movies led to sitting closer together and waking up cuddling. It was never really needed to explicitly stated, but you two were into each other. One day you two were on your couch after stopping at the diner, your head in his lap and his hands running through your hair when you asked him what you two were. He shrugged and pursed his lips together for a moment. He tapped your head as a hint to sit up, which you did with a confused expression on your face, you not having any clue what he was doing. He grabbed your hands and asked you to be his partner. You nodded and smiled profusely, just like he did that first time he got you the strawberry milkshake. He smiled brighter than you had ever seen him before and he pulled you into a tight hug.

You loved him. You loved the way his hair looked even more orange in the sun. You loved the freckles that coated his shoulders and you loved the way he shivered when you ran a finger across his bare spine in the morning. You loved the way he always brought you flowers, even when you had to scold him for accidentally stealing them from your neighbors flowerbed. You loved it when he made you make him a necklaces out of the seashells that had natural holes in them.

Above all, you loved the way his kisses always tasted like strawberry milkshakes. You loved the way he looked at you with those starry eyes before running his hand along your cheek and kissing you. He always smiled when he kissed you, even though it ruined the rhythm of the kiss. He always touched you so tenderly, and every kiss was saturated with his love for you. You wanted to kiss him forever, tasting the sugary milkshake on his lips.

Speaking of outside, that's all that's left to do in the house and it’ll be complete. I’ve already got my seeds ordered for the flowers and veggies for the backyard. I have to figure out what I want to do for the front yard. Maybe I can have a line of sunflowers against the fence? Ivy wrapping around the fence? That’ll take months but atleast the weather here is very nice. I’ll have to think of something in order for a much nicer garden for my obsession. Maybe some ferns and some lava rocks? Nah we’re not in the right territory for lava rocks. I already know the backyard is going to have the largest sunflowers I can get my hands on. 

I should take a walk around the neighborhood and get some fresh air. And I imagine Angus would just love a walk, even if he’s tapped down on the floor in the middle of the road! But look at him relaxing on the fluffy rug! 

“Someone wants to go on a walk doesn’t he?” I asked him as he sat down in front of me waiting for me to clip the leash. Found Mr. Angus under the bridge when I walked from the orphanage to school. He was only a puppy when I first saw him and from that day on I was giving him food from breakfast and left over from lunch. Then he started following me back to the home every night. 

Angus and I walked out the front door as I patted the front part of my overalls for where I put my keys. He barked out towards the street as I turned around to see the mailman coming through the gate but stayed back due to the dog. 

“He doesn’t bite.” I smiled as I led Angus towards the mailman as he stood there so tall and firm. I don’t even think a gust of wind would blow him over, even hurricane wind wouldn’t knock him down. 

Angus began circling the mailman sniffing up and down his legs, down to the tip of his toes. I chuckled as he stuck his nose in the mail bag and sniffed all the letters and tiny packages. The man bounced away from Angus as he dug through the mail to hand me my two envelopes. 

“I’m Cora.” I told him as he took a deep breath in. 

“Gardner. Now if you’ll excuse me Miss Lister. I have to get back to work and take my lunch.” A 180 turn away from me as he walked out of the fenced front yard back onto the sidewalk. Wait what’s this slip? 

“Umm excuse me Gardner.” He stopped as he faced the fence. I walked over towards him with the only thing blocking us was the picket fence. I then showed him the slip as he looked at the slip then back at me. 

“It’s a package. That’s a slip.” Obviously but what did I order? Wait did I order anything or is someone mailing back from what I left at the old house? There’s a lot of things this could be. He was about to walk away as I was trying to finish this conversation without him running off. 

“Can I assume that you’re bringing it by tomorrow?” He stopped dead in his tracks and turned towards me. 

“Section 4.7 of the resident manual stipulates packages of that size cannot be left without the recipient's signature.” Didn’t realize it was such a big package goodness. What on earth could I have left at the house!?

“I’ll be in the back working on some hoeing so just leave it on the corner of the porch. C’mon Angus!” I opened the gate, waving bye to Gardner. 

“Thanks Gardner!” I yelled as we began our walk. 

Angus and I watched him walk down the street stopping into each of the house's mailboxes. Probably should go the opposite way so it doesn’t look like I’m stalking him. 

“C’mon Angus.” I told him as I walked out of the gate down towards the opposite way Gardner was going. Glad to know the first I met was a very tight end mailman. I mean he was a little cute but I should get going. 

Angus was absolutely loving all the new smells and environment while walking around the corner onto the new sidewalk. I was humming a quiet song to myself as I heard a very loud whistle coming from the house I was passing. A foam rocket landed right in front of Angus and I for him to start sniffing it. An old woman came stumbling out of the house with a flask in her hand. 

“Ah damn it. Too much gas.” She yelled as I picked up her foam rocket as she walked towards me. 

“You moved into the house with the yellow door, yes?” You mean my absolutely favorite door in the world? That pretty yellow color that I love? Yes. 

“Yes mam.” 

“No one tells me yes mam, makes me feel old. Trudy.” She made it infront of me as I handed her the foam rocket. I glanced over to her blue and purple house to see her flowers on the ground were dying. 

“Cora. Nice to meet you.” I told her as she looked down to Angus. 

“And who is this?” She reached down as Angus began sniffing her fingers and arm. 

“Angus.” 

“We’ll he’s a heartbreaker. Glad you moved into the house, that old woman who used to own that place was crazy. She once walked out of the house naked like a jaybird.” She took a drink as I nodded along. Glad to know one of my new friends in the neighborhood is an old lady wearing a super long floral kimono. 

“I’ll let you back on your walk. Hey if you need anything please stop by whenever ya feel like. I could use a young drinking buddy myself. I make a mean long island iced tea.” Don’t really like alcohol on most days. Maybe a glass of wine at dinner or a beer when I’m grilling. 

“I’ll get back to you on that Trudy. Lovely to meet you.” I began walking away as she kept looking at me till she went back inside. So I got mad science living a street or two away and a mailman who's tighter than a screw. 

I continued along the sidewalk as Angus was walking a little faster since he was trying to see the entire neighborhood. I stumbled upon a patch of trees as Angus was just dying to start running around in there. Eh might as well. Don’t need to go back home for a few more hours and it’ll take me about an hour to get ready for work. I bent down to unlatch the leash from his collar as he went sprinting off. Don’t worry he’ll come back because he's going to have a nice chicken dinner before work. I began walking on the trail as I kept an eye on Angus as he was climbing on top of some fallen trees. 

It’s weird to think a few months ago I was job hunting and trying to find a place to live and now my life is slowly coming together. I need to write to my orphanage mother and let her know that I finally made it in the world. We were worried when I turned sixteen that no one was going to adopt me and by eighteen they kind of just threw you out onto the street. But now look at me! In a jazz band at night and selling my own produce at markets. Just exactly what I wanted in my life. 

We reached the opening onto a large tall field that was circled by the entire patch of forest. There was no trail that led into the field but one wrapping around it. A few park benches were placed along the trail as I began going down the path on the left. Angus ran running into the field  as he began hopping around in the tall grass. 

He barked each time he jumped out of the field till something caught his attention as he began smelling the air. He began trotting around the field as he began picking up the pace till we came across someone on the bench eating. Oh no he must have peanut butter! It’s Angus’ weakness! 

By the time I was about to tell him no he was already sitting in front of him with his tail moving across the grass. Crap crap crap! I ran up to notice it was Gardner just trying to enjoy his lunch in peace I’m assuming. But I stopped as Gardner ripped off a piece of his crust then handed it to Angus. He laid down in front of him and quickly ate it. 

“I’m so sorry about that.” I told him as I stood in front of him and attached the leash to Angus. 

“It’s fine.” Another short answer as he took a bite out of his sandwich. 

“Mind if I sit with you for a minute?” I asked him as he looked over his bag to then move it onto the ground next to him. I sat down on the other edge of the bench as I was watching Angus running back into the field. 

“I promise I’m not stalking you or anything.” I blurted out as he kept his focus on the field. It was an awkward silence for a few seconds as I tried to think of something to say in order to remove this awkwardness. 

“Why this little town?” He asked as I looked over and looked over at me.  

“I miss the little town feeling. I grew up in Eureka California and I kind of missed that town kind of feeling. Plus my job is here now and wouldn’t trade it for anything.” I nodded as Angus sat in front of me as I scratched his head. 

“What do you do?” Feels like I’m in an interview as he’s silently judging me. 

“During the day when I’m not sleeping I’m growing vegetables and herbs for any local markets. And at night I’m a jazz pianist.” He nodded as he looked over at him. I know it’s not a lot of money in my life but it makes me extremely happy. 

“You don’t like to talk do you?” I blurted out as he turned his head towards me. 

“No I do.” He defended as I nodded. So he likes to talk, but just doesn’t want to talk to strangers. Understandable. I’m a complete stranger who accidentally found him at the park during his lunch. 

“So are those hats comfy?” I asked him as he looked up at his white hat. 

“They’re good for the summer. Keeps the air flowing through my head and the sun from burning my neck.” I looked at it then chuckled at myself. 

“How’s the mail business going then?” 

“Fresh air, predictable, solid retirement fund.”

“Already sounds like a better life than what I’m doing.” I could sense he wanted to be left alone. I imagine this is very weird for some stranger to be sitting here with him. I should get going anyhow. 

“Sorry I’ll leave you alone. Listen if you ever get out or just bored at home. Come to Club Eclipse on 2nd. Thanks for letting me sit with you Gardner.” I grabbed Angus leash as I began to speed walking down the trail as my body became a little cold. How stupid was that? Honestly that was one of the stupidest things I’ve ever done in my entire life. 

“Thank you Miss Lister.” He blurted as I stopped dead in my tracks then turned around towards him. 

“Cora please. And for what?”

“This was….different.” He grabbed his bag and marched away. 

What a..what an interesting man. I hope to see him tomorrow while he delivers my package. Which I’m still trying to remember what exactly it was I ordered. He’s..kind of cute with his quirkiness. 

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