Aug 8, 2020
Garak: Five years ago I was a fucking mess, and now I’m a fucking mess, but at peace with it and with cooler fashion sense.
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Garak: Five years ago I was a fucking mess, and now I’m a fucking mess, but at peace with it and with cooler fashion sense.
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Garak: I tried to write a kind speach about Enabran Tain for his funeral, and this is what came out.
Bashir: Oh, it’s twenty pages long. And why is it in all caps?
Garak: So I remember to yell it.
Bashir: It was Garak’s fault.
Garak: How was I supposed to know there’d be consequences for my actions?
Garak, telling one of his stories to Bashir: And then I woke up in jail, and the guard said “You’re under arrest for murder.”
Garak: And I had that thought, the thought that only black out drunks and Steve Erkel can have. Did... Did I do that. But I thought no, I didn’t know this person, I probably wouldn’t do that. But I was never sure... Until two years later.
Bashir: !!
Garak: Relax.
Garak: The people I work with think my name is Elim Garak.
Bashir: Yeah- wait, what?
Garak: Don’t worry about it.
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Garak: My father taught me as a child that if you shoot for the moon and miss, the cold vacuum of space will suck out your eyeballs. Failure is not an option. Go kill them.
Garak: I see you have an army. But what you need is an umbrella.
Bashir: Tell him why, Garak.
Garak: Because a shit storm is about to rain down on you, Dukat.
During Civl Defense
Communications officer: Gul Dukat says that he has an announcement.
Garak: Maybe he wants to inform us that he’s a Cheuksin.
Kira: A what?
Garak: A Cheuksin. A Korean toilet ghost, lives in an outhouse, wraps his hair around your throat and chokes you to death while you move your bowels.
Dukat: Okay I have some news.
Garak: That you’re a Korean toilet ghost? Boring! We already knew.