Wait, no one told me that FFV is this funny!
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Wait, no one told me that FFV is this funny!

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I love how galuf created a baddie, I knew I'd love krile when she dropped that bolt onto exdeath, bitch that tree deserves more than evil I'll cut that armor with my teeth if I must
Why I want a FFV remake more than FFVI
No really, hear me out here! I know VI is beloved, and childhood nostalgia is extremely profitable. I get it. However, I truly believe FFV could be an absolute beast if it were remade into a modern game.
Beware, 32 year old spoilers ahead!
Combat
If you ask anyone who has played V (there are dozens of us!) and you ask what the best part of the game is, probably at least half would say the job system. And I would agree. The job system even in its rinky-dink 1990's form is a blast to play. It can make even trash mobs fun. Now imagine the job system in a modern action game. OMG. I would spend hours just trying different combinations on trash mobs. And if action isn't for you V already has you covered! They can make barehanded really easy to get from the beginning, give it some really fun animations and the non action players can just slap it on everybody and still have a good time.
Glamour
A lot of people claim that customizing the look of your armor is pointless and for girls. Then they play FFXIV and the next thing they know they've been doing a dungeon for two hours because the hat won't drop. FFV is absolutely ripe for a glamour system. Each job has its own flair, and each character has their own style. Imagine a glamour system where you could mix and match, much like XIV's but without the jank. Replay value would skyrocket.
It has better fans
I said what I said. VI has an extremely obnoxious fan base. It's not as bad as VII's, I'll admit that. However, while VII fans are lunatics over shipping wars, VI's fans are obnoxious because they are smug assholes. They shout from their mom's rooftop over and over how it has the absolute best story and characters, and if you don't agree "YOU havE NO mEdia lITeRAcy." Since nobody played V as a kid, they have no nostalgia blinders and we can all spend more time enjoying the game and less time hearing purists bitch and moan about how Terra's hair is all wrong and "tHIS iS not EXacTlY how IT WENt In tHe OrIgInAL." And we will ALL have a better time for it.
Built-in LGBT+ and watching people cry over it will be fun
Faris is non-binary in all but name. The term non-binary didn't exist back in the 1990s, but she does fit the idea. She poses as a man to avoid harassment yes, but then later says she doesn't really care if you call her a he or she. Galuf goes all boomer on her, and Bartz stands up for her saying "Faris is just Faris. She's great no matter a man or woman!" The game does proceed to use she/her pronouns for Faris, but they/them pronouns were not a concept to the general population back then. Just imagine all the anti-woke crowd crying over how Square Enix went super woke, and everyone can just point at the original game like "dude. It's in the original. Lol." It's free extra entertainment. Also you're free to disagree, but even as a straight cis woman I have a hard time believing Bartz is fully straight. Sure he has his moment when he sees Faris asleep, but he doesn't really get upset over being like "wow this dude's hot" and I can't stress enough that this game was made in the 1990s, attitudes on this subject were completely different. Also, some of his job outfits are... look I don't want to stereotype but there's a lot of "he's at least bi, right?" when it comes to Bartz.
It's not so serious
I'm fully in agreement with the "Game of Thrones ruined entertainment" crowd. I'm over dreariness, and the idea that if nobody died, then nothing happened in the plot. It ends up dumbing down stories. It's not my problem if you're so dead inside you need to see something extreme to get an emotional response. I went to therapy for that, I didn't demand everything have a bloodbath so I could feel something. We're not in a great era IRL right now. Times are tough. I want to spend my precious free time actually having fun and laughing at characters. It would probably have a similar feel to Rebirth. The story does have serious moments but it's mostly about having fun.
There are only 5 characters
FFXV had some story problems, but where it worked best was its core characters. By the end of XV it's hard to NOT be attached to the chocobros. FFV has the same situation, you're with your friends the whole game so there's plenty of time to develop the characters. The original did ok with developing Bartz, Lenna, Faris, Galuf and Krile, but a modern remake could really do it right and make the characters really fleshed out. FFVI has too many characters for a modern game. Hell it has too many characters for an older game. Everyone has a VI character they never use and forget they exist, and I don't like that. It would suck up a ton of time and resources to give development for Gogo and Umaro. I don't care about them enough anyway.
Bartz could be a really refreshing main character
For those who haven't played FFV before, the main character is named Bartz, and he's dumb as shit. He has a good heart and loves his friends. But the boy's brains are scrambled eggs. I want Square Enix to take that and run far with it. I want them to zoom past shonen and go full Zoolander with Bartz. I want him to absolutely own the dancer outfit, sashaying around while murdering mobs, then sit down in the sand and hug Faris when Sylva dies. He'll probably cry more than Faris. Then he will go and not understand how many weapons to collect after hearing the Tale of the 12 Legendary Weapons (yes this actually happens in the game.) Typically the non-broody protagonists in the series we see maturity and a better understanding of the world, but I don't want that for Bartz. It's been done. He's my Zoolander. I'd rather he remain dumb as shit at the end, and his character development is about him being a completely directionless idiot into an idiot with an idea of what he wants to do with his life. It's ok if what he wants to do is stupid and unrealistic. Maybe he'll open a school for kids who can't read good.
There's zero romance
Yes I know, romance is extremely profitable. But even in the original Bartz does not end up with any of the girls. They are all extremely close friends by the end, but nothing romantic. That's right, a story with no love triangle, no will-they won't-they drama, no anime harem. It's possible! Who knew? It's refreshing! They would have the entire game to really dive into the theme of friendship without shipping wars destroying everything. I just want to try it in a modern game.
That One Scene would be absolutely epic in an HD remake
If I haven't convinced anyone by now, just imagine this: Galuf's last stand in HD. It would be glorious. It would be heart-pounding excitement. It would easily go into the top 10 of most epic fights. Imagine this fight on the scale of the Titan or Bahamut fights from XVI. I'm drooling over the thought. Please, Square Enix I'm begging.
Poison:
Princess Lenna Charlotte Tycoon:
learning how to draw ffv's Exdeath for a friend

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Braska admits he dragged him LOLOL I’m floored LMAO
Yo he did, auron suffered for ten years without his buddies and he got so cynical 😭😂
People, I give you the REAL Exdeath from Final Fantasy 5 out of armor. I based it on this old picture before he became NeoExdeath.
I took some liberties, but overall, I think I did good. I confess I HATE Exdeath's new look. I find he looks too... pretty and too much like a pixie. And no offense, he doesn't even look like he can move in his armor, let alone fill it out. Exdeath is essentially a dryad meaning he is a tree person. He needs to be sturdy, solid, tall and proud. And since he's a villain, EVIL looking.
PS: While he isn’t pretty, I think he looks handsome~
Spoilers for Act 4 Chapter 1: Part 2
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And so the yelling continues (centuries later)!😂 Up next we have:
HELLO HE'S GOT A BOUQUET??? (Never though I'd see him with one. Also hello again, Vayne, sir.)
Ah ha ha.😅
But he is definitely ✨complicated.✨ (He could've been a good guy but decided not to be. T-T)
Yeah, and completely miss the two—three?—frogs in the background. (Also I love that they had Noct for this cutscene 'cause he did, in fact, catch frogs for Sania.)
OABDJENSKN PAPALYMO AND LYSE.
ARCHON LOAF.
Omg.😂😂
Yeah so I was super amused at basically letting Quina loose into this place and everyone just having to deal with him. I guess you could say it was a nice fun way to feel out how the new world works. Buuut let's see what else happens.