ââ Itâs okay. Iâve got you. ââ
Asra hummed in acknowledgement, staring straight ahead. Julianâs presence was⌠unusually helpful in the moment. Asra had been experimenting again, trying to focus more on the disease itself instead of the cure. He wanted to figure out the way it moved and flowed, to understand it. Unfortunately, nothing good had come of it. Heâd exhausted himself before heâd even truly begun, a big flourish of magic everywhere with nothing to show for it. It was frustrating.Â
He allowed himself to relax in Julianâs arms, trying to steady himself. His stomach was churning, his head spinning. Warnings not to strain himself. Asra slowly looked up at the doctor, his eyes blurring for a moment before he could focus. Maybe heâd never figure out the answer. Maybe there were things magic couldnât solve.Â
âCan you help me to the bed?â His tone had been excited before, a new outlook on a way to find the cure. Now it was defeated, exhausted. Heâd set the runes, prepared the ingredients, fetched water, so much effort, so much energy, so much time⌠completely wasted.Â
He clumsily moved with Julian, growing more and more appreciative of his presence. It wasnât his style to simply collapse on the floor for a few hours while he regained his strength. Well.. it was, but he didnât want anyone to know about it. Julian was making the defeat more bearable, giving himself something to concentrate on⌠like not making himself seem entirely pathetic. Especially in the presence of a man that wasnât the most, putting it kindly, knowledgeable about his craft.
The moment the bed was within reach, Asra allowed himself to crawl onto it. He fell sideways, his head hitting the nest of pillows amassed on it. He didnât move for a while, staying put and letting his eyes wander about the room.Â
They moved first to his efforts, then his mistakes, then to Julian. He still couldnât believe how close heâd gotten with him. Friends were hard to come by for him. Friends who Asra allowed to watch him do rituals like this⌠unheard of. He wasnât sure if it was the freshness of his failure or the exhaustion, but there was a warmth in Julianâs aura that hadnât been there before. Or maybe heâd just started to notice it, or opened himself to the possibility.Â
âYouâre good to me, Ilya,â he eventually mumbled, his body slowly starting to move itself into a more comfortable position. He let his eyes close, feeling himself finally start to drift off into what he knew would be a heavy sleep. âDonât let that get in the way of your happiness.âÂ