#gallerycat

After four years I finally was able to let go of someone who no longer was in my life. This person at one point meant the world to me. They were literally the reason I was alive and kept living. Even though that is not okay and sounds toxic because as a human we shouldn’t depend on others for our own happiness and our need to live. But that’s exactly it, when they stepped into my life. I didn’t want that life, they saved me. And because of them making me realize so many beautiful things in life. I am still here. Four years later I am happy without them. I have struggled so much but here I am well alive and still going forward. Today I asked them if I may have back this charm that I had gotten them, which is was symbolic of the moon and the stars. We had our saying of our relationship, “I was his moon, he was my stars.” And that meant everything to me. And it still does. Because I saw myself as someone who wanted to constantly shine but my darkness over ran that throughout my life. Hence the moon. But he was my stars because he gave me that light in my life I didn’t think I needed. And first they were confused as to why but when I explained to them why I wanted it. Reason why:

“I wanted to attach that charm with my charm (because there is two of them) and I had told myself the day I finally am able to let go of you. I want to be able to take both charms and go to my favorite beach and throw the charms together in the ocean. For me it was my way of saying goodbye to good memories and everything that I must now be letting go. But also hello to new beginnings that will bring for both of us, wether we continue to keep in touch or not.“

So for those who believe it doesn’t get better it does. You’ll grow. You’ll find happiness again. You’ll move on. You’ll love again. You will live again. I promise you that. Continue to fight. Continue to push through. Only you have that power. Never forget that. Never forget that God/Universe (whatever you believe in) chose you to be a part of this universe, make it your best. Be kind to yourself. Love yourself. Listen to yourself. Speak up. Ask for help. Always be patient with you because it will get better with time and dedication.

— love,

And my mind keeps drifting back to the good ole’ days Middle school dreams mixed with hormonal ideas

I swim in the glow of nostalgia, Take my hand and swim with me too.

Dream a dream so bold and delirious’ That if we spoke it aloud we’d be taken to a psych ward

Laugh and cry and hold out my friends For we must still fight for rights we were told we’d be given

Respect and love for all is what we we’re promised And now I just think we’ve been lied too.