#gaicomans

Ok...

So, I’m a little nervous about this post today.

As you know, 99% of the time I provide inspiration and information to help you move forward after a forced change in your life, you know that one you never wanted or asked for.    

This one is a little different though...

...It’s hard for me to believe that it was 15 years ago today that my life changed irrevocably.

The Cancer Diagnosis at 38

I experienced what happened to other people, and what I never thought would happen to me. Until it did. I sat in front of my doctor and heard those fateful words, “We have found evidence of cancer”.

Life can change in an instant, and I had proof.  Then a few days later more news “we’ll hit it hard to give you the best chance of survival, but can’t give you any promises”.  

I managed to get myself through the merry-go-round of treatment cycles. When treatment finished though, I was left alone to manage life as best I could; to pick up the shattered pieces of my life and move on.

It’s a common story amongst survivors of many things, and a story I’ve heard thousands of times as I’ve talked and worked with people around the world.  

Like so many others I had absolutely NO idea what to do. I felt totally lost, didn’t even know where to start, and for possibly the first time in my life, had no clue what my next step was going to be...

Life Before it Changed

....It was a far cry from the life I was living just 10 months earlier. Newly married, living in the new home we had built together, planning a family and working as a corporate executive. My husband, Chris, had his own business, so we were doing okay and from the outside everything look great.

But, underneath I was trying to figure out how to put the jigsaw pieces of my life back together again, to complete the picture.  

How could I, when I didn’t even know where to start?  But I did start.

Losing Friends Tragically

Over the next few years, I experienced loss again and again and again. Stephen, my childhood friend, was killed in the attacks on the World Trade Center on 9/11. A year later, Jodie, a friend from work, was killed in the Bali bombing. My husband and I separated at the end of the following year.   In four short years, I had experienced four of the top six most stressful life events.

It’s hard for me to believe that it was 15 years ago now and that I got through it all, but I did.   Along the way I discovered a process that worked each time.   I refined it over the years to make it quicker and easier to get result I needed.

Finding My Way Back

I can’t tell you what a difference it makes when you have the confidence to set goals and know that you’ll achieve them, to be able to make decisions easily, or know that you will bounce back from those little (and big) setbacks in life.  

Once you’ve reached the other side though, you’ll never go back.  

Over the years I’ve been fortunate to speak to thousands of people, just like you and me.  People who believe that it’s possible, even after a transition you didn’t ask for, to be happy, healthy and connected.  

For the past 15 years (that’s a long time isn’t it) I’ve studied the effects of forced change from all aspects.  Learning about how our brain works, the effects on human behaviour, how we form and break habits, how we make decisions, set and achieve goals, it’s truly fascinating and I’ve never stopped learning.  I love it!

During that time I’ve accumulated an incredible amount of knowledge, tools, skills and stories.  I’ve learned what it takes to create a strong foundation and for a balanced life, and live a life you love deeply.  

Why I’m Nervous

This is where my nervousness kicks in.....

Over the past few of years, men and women from this community have consistently asked me to share the process I’ve developed with them, want to come and hear me speak, or even suggested I do a Ted Talk.

It wasn’t that I didn’t want to; I did, but as Brene Brown says, I had engineered staying small; quite natural for someone as introverted and private as I am. Staying just under the radar enough to help my community (of people from 39 different countries), without being pushed onto that bigger stage.

But the more I mentored and worked with people one-on-one, the more I realised what I said and suggested to them resonated for them and they got results as well.   

It’s Time To Stop Hiding

It was time for me to step up and stop hiding.

So here it is...

I’ve been engrossed in what turned out to be a huge project.  Well in truth it’s taken the best part of the last couple of years actually and now I’m putting the finishing touches on it before I release it.  

And this is it...

I’ve refined and built the step-by-step process for you to get results even more quickly, after you’ve gone through a forced transition in your life.  I’ll share more specifics shortly and work through how many people I can accommodate as I want to make it a really interactive process and I don’t want to disappoint you.  

Do you have one minute to help me help you to Accelerate Your Life?

Before it’s all finalised I want to make sure that I’ve covered everything in the “dream acceleration” system, so this is where you come in.....

I want to know what your thoughts are about fast tracking to your dream life.

I’ve made it really easy and simple for you to share your thoughts and ideas with me.  Just click here now: https://goo.gl/iJ6UJm

I promise I will personally read all your questions and may be able to answer some in my next email.  Thanks in advance and sharing your heartfelt thoughts with me.

Love,

What’s Your Gift To The World?

On November 2, 2010, my perspective was shifted in a huge and surprising way by a single question.   You see, I was asked to answer a six-word question, which, on the surface, seemed very simple.   In all sincerity though, I just didn’t know how to answer it and it sparked change in my life.  

 I don’t think I had even been so totally dumbfounded by six simple words! Have you?

 Upon reflection though, I think it may be a question that could quite easily cause the start of a midlife crisis, because when you start to contemplate it, think about it, and feel into this question, it’s like an accident on the freeway, it’s hard to turn away from.   You can’t simply ignore it, well at least I couldn’t.  

 So where did the question come from, that sought to dismantle me?

 I was catching up with a colleague who had asked me to consider doing some consultancy work in his leadership development training company.   We had first met in 2003, as young executives, when we had been requested by our company to pilot a leadership development program; in essence, to assess if it was worth rolling out to the rest of the organisation.  

 It was kind of weird, as from the very first time we met; we felt a very strong connection. We were both married so it wasn’t that kind of connection, it was something deeper, perhaps “soul based”, would be a good way to describe it.  

 We talked even then, about some kind of inner knowing that we were destined to work together at some point.  A few years later, when we had both left the company we were working for when we met, it seemed that it might be the right time, as he had a project he wanted my help with.

 We had known each other for over seven years by then, so there was no “job” interview; the contract was mine if I wanted it and I did.  The contract felt right as I had a deep connection to helping professional men and women grow their skills, particularly around resilience.  It felt more of a passion to me than a job.  

 Instead of a job interview, he asked me to script a short five-minute video, answering one question.  

 Simple, right? Wrong! So wrong!!

 I sat with the question for days, at home, in the coffee shop, and on the grass in the park, but the outcome was always the same.  Lots of head scratching over a blank sheet of paper, then added some words, followed by lots of correcting, and back to a blank sheet of paper again.   It felt like groundhog day.

 I sat mesmerized by the lines on the paper and the question at the top of the page. Then, as we so often do, I’d find unique and usual ways to distract myself. Have you ever done that - used your best avoidance strategies?

 You know the ones - you’re thirsty, hungry, need to do the laundry, pack the dishwasher - really anything to avoid something else more unpleasant.  None of them seemed to work though.  No, that’s not true. Avoidance worked well, but it didn’t get me any closer to completing the task of answering one simple question!

 When I did start to write, then read back over it, it didn’t make sense to me and it didn’t feel authentic.  What I’d written sounded more like a great analysis of my life, a list of events and experiences (most of them painful), but it didn’t actually answer the very simple question.  

 Fast forward a few years and luckily, these days I have a much better understanding of how to answer this very simple question because I have lived it for the past five years.  

 The question, I can hear you asking?!

 “What’s your gift to the world?”   Click to Tweet

 That was a question that sparked change for me.  

 There is a five-word, simple question which baffles and sparkles change for my community and clients.  The question is “What do I do now?” following an event or experience of change, usually a forced change.  

 So my gift to the world, my legacy, is for you, if you have ever asked “What do I do now?”, following a life shaping event like divorce, illness or career impacts and found yourself in an unfamiliar place,  as I...

 ...provide the guidance, tools, skills, and community

for professional men and women

to easily answer the question

“What do I do now?”

following a change which has forced them to transition

their life, relationship, health, or career

to somewhere new and unfamiliar.

Has the question “What do I do now?” followed a time of forced change in your life?  

 I know it’s a hard one to answer, isn’t it? Without guidance, skills, and tools it can be baffling and a very long and frustrating process, but I wouldn’t want you wandering around like I did.   I’ll help you answer it because finding the answer that is right for you can move you from tired, confused, and alone towards happy, healthy, and connected.

  Download the Conscious Living Guide below and take a little step closer to answering it for yourself.  It will save you a few days, months, or even years of frustration, and it might even help you avoid a midlife crisis.  

 Love,

Gai