after having you cum twice for him, toji’s naked form sat slotted between your legs, guiding your calves to hook around his waist. your underwear was long gone, but you wanted to keep his shirt on, a wish toji was completely fine with. he was attracted to the sight of you in his clothes anyways. “my baby’s been doing so well, ‘m so proud of you,” he praises in a low drawl, “you feelin’ good?” you nod, shakily reaching a hand up, wanting to hold one of his as you pant in response, “y-yes… thank you, toji. no one else could make me feel this way...” he hums, satisfied with how talkative you’ve become, and leaves a kiss on your knuckles before intertwining your fingers and pressing it beside your head into the mattress. here comes that familiar pit in your lower tummy.

mentally, you want nothing more than for every inch of toji to remold you from the inside out. however, you know that your body will most likely betray you and lock up due to the sheer size of this guy’s dick. working 6.5 inches into your mouth is one story, but into your vagina? dude.

before dating toji, you thought that you’d never be able to insert anything into your own body. no matter what you’d fantasize about, the thought of anything up your walls made you physically freak out. it didn’t help that you’ve wasted time on people who couldn’t even get inside of you, either. being with someone as patient and skilled as toji has definitely helped your muscles mellow out, but even getting fingered by him was still a huge leap.

“hey,” toji starts, being able to read your expression like a book, “still here, baby?” his way of telling you to not worry, that he’s got you, that he still intends on taking his time with you. he doesn’t want you to worry your pretty little head about anything besides slapping him silly if this doesn’t end up being the best dick-down of your life. you give him a small smile, hearing him loud and clear, “mhm, i love you so much, toji.” his cock jumps at this; he hasn’t cum once tonight, mind you. he groans, lowering his body to lazily kiss the corner of your mouth, his warm breath fanning against your face, “i love you, too.” he’s fucking whipped for you.

while toji’s against you, he allows his tip, almost humiliatingly sticky from precum, to rub along your folds, from your entrance to your clit, over and over. still slightly sensitive from your previous two orgasms, you weakly cry and writhe under him. you thought it was funny to go raw for your first time, but after missing out on this experience for so long, you didn’t even want to bother with condoms. plus, if you’re gonna fuck toji fushiguro, why would you deny yourself heaven? you’d just take plan b in the morning.

deciding he’s teased the both of you enough, toji sits up once again, and drops his gaze to where the two of you are about to meet. his gaze flickers to your eyes once more in search of your approval, to which you whimper the prettiest ‘please’, and with that, he begins to push his hips into yours. you scrunch up your face and whine at the expected discomfort; the girth on this guy is absolutely insane. you’re tightening up before he can even get that far. toji hisses, bringing his free hand down to rub slow, small circles on your clit in an attempt to ease the muscles inside. “relax for me, y/n,” he coaxes, observing your expression closely. you suck in a deep breath, trying to focus on breathing steadily to release all of your tension; you’re really doing everything you can. toji’s able to get a bit further, but when he feels your nails digging into the back of his hand, he gets the idea that he’ll need to switch things up.

“baby,” he murmurs, easing out of you slowly to avoid sending you into some sort of shock, “i’mma move you a bit, ‘kay?.” you look at him for a moment, but nod trustingly, unhooking your legs from his waist and relaxing to let him manhandle you however he needs to. he simply brought your legs up to rest over his broad shoulders, but the shift in position caused you to gasp. knowing that toji could see much more of you this way caused you to feel vulnerable, and the humiliation drove you crazy. the man before you took hold of your hand again, pressed forward, and – oh.

it was much easier this time.

your ears were fucking ringing and you were being the loudest you’ve ever been in your life, but you felt so relieved you would’ve thought you’d came for the third time right then and there. toji’s head was dropped forward against your shoulder, and–? you could’ve sworn he whimpered. however, you can’t even think about it, because now he’s biting into your shoulder and rocking his hips into yours. fuck, it feels delicious. with every thrust, he draws the most pathetic cry at the most pathetic pitch from your throat. he’d definitely mock you for it at this very moment if this wasn’t your first time.

toji’s selflessness exercise was really catching up to him now. you were squeezing him just right, and you sounded so beautiful– he has to know what you look like right now. he shakes any evidence of the chokehold that your pussy has on him, then lifts his head (and to his dismay, a string of saliva follows him from biting and drooling all over your shoulder) to see your expression twisted in ecstasy, a sheen of sweat evident on your forehead, your chest heaving in time of your breaths… you’re his perfect, perfect girl.

you manage to peel your eyes open, seeing toji look disheveled as all hell. his bangs are stuck to his forehead. his face is flushed. the look in his eye is so focused. it all makes your insides stir even more. you’re still gasping and sobbing, but now also babbling incoherent nonsense on top of it all; all toji can really make out is ‘so good’ and ‘love you s’much’, and he hardly even notices himself snapping his hips into you harder. you squeeze his hand hard and momentarily press your calves to his shoulder blades, which is enough to bring him out of his own trance to realize you’d be cumming soon. toji wastes no time, once again rubbing your clit, this time with much more vigor. you throw your head back against your pillow, thrashing so much that you’d be running away if it weren’t for the position toji held you down in.

“t-toji, i’m g’nna-” you’re cut off by toji suddenly removing his hand from that little bundle of nerves to hold your free hand, allowing his forehead to rest directly against yours. in a split second, you realize he does this to grind his pubic bone directly against that spot you need most, and in turn, his cock hits your g-spot. he’s truly locked in at this point. “i know, my love, i know, go on ‘n’ make a mess for me,” he grins wickedly, that damn scar of his stretching with the corner of his mouth. this man will be the death of you, and you will be the death of him. you catch a final glimpse of toji’s face before your eyes roll and squeeze shut; your voice pitches once more before you fall silent, your fingernails are digging into toji’s strong hands, and your pussy is spasming more intensely than it has ever in your entire life. toji then releases his cum into you, and doesn’t stop fucking into you until he’s completely drained.

once he’s finished, he notices that your eyes are closed as if you were asleep, and he shakes his head with a small smile as he gently pulls out of you. he goes to get a warm rag and returns to wipe you clean. he tucks you in before going to quickly clean himself, then returns once more to shuffle into bed with you. he rolls your body towards him; seems you were out for the count. the man kisses your forehead tenderly, whispering that he loves you as he holds your waist and falls asleep.

But one thing still baffled him: one thing that was proven and real, and yet had no scientific basis whatsoever.

The soulmate bond.

Plenty of alchemists have been trying to figure it out for centuries. What makes one seek out their so-called “one true love”? What causes the tug, the force of which increased every passing year after one’s 15th birthday, or the closer you were to that person? What are the deciding factors as to one’s soulmate? These were questions that were slaved over, entire lives spent trying to puzzle out, volumes upon volumes of journals and articles dedicated to the phenomenon; and yet, there was no conclusive answer.

He didn’t like not having answers.

He especially didn’t like how crazy it drove his little brother.

“But isn’t it wonderful to think about, Brother?” He bites back a groan, but still rolls his eyes violently as Al started on another rant about the phenomenon. “A tangible link to the person you’re fated to be with!”

“Yeah, it’s a real doozy.” Ed mumbles, rolling his eyes. “Can we maybe get back to our research?”

Al sighs, and even though he can’t see it, he knows the brat’s shooting him that look — “Why are you so pig-headed, Brother?”, he can hear his innocent little voice.

“Brother…” Al starts off, armor creaking as he shifts behind him. “Haven’t you gotten your soulmate link yet?”

Ed stiffens, page in mid-turn.

Alphonse had been kind enough not to ask, but he’s been expecting the kid to pop the question for weeks now. After all, there was no one more romantic than his little brother; that much was obvious from the novels he snuck around and hid from him.

(And who could have given him those novels except-)

He shakes his head, knocking the thoughts of that person out as well.

“Sorry to disappoint, bud.” He sounds more confident than he feels, that eternal pressure tugging behind his sternum again. “Do me a favor and go through that pile over there, okay-?”

“And you call the Colonel a slavedriver.” A dulcet voice tsks behind him and he stiffens again.

Alphonse doesn’t notice, too caught up in greeting you, clambering up with a delighted call of your name.

The pressure burns now, causing a tremendous aching that makes him squeeze his eyes shut to push past it.

It just had to be you, didn’t it?

He flashes a smile over his shoulder, lifting his hand in a slight wave before going back to his research. Another person might be offended, but of course you aren’t.

You’re an understanding person, after all, who (as a part-time employee) sees all types in this library that the Elrics put up shop in for days at a time.

You’re a sweet person, who smiles gently when you not-so-subtly threaten to kick them out if they don’t take care of themselves.

It’s not that surprising it’s you.

For a little while, he thought it was Winry, as his heart kept tugging endlessly towards the direction in which the train to Resembool always ran.

It’s not until a month after his birthday that you returned, recounting your hometown visit (only a town over from where he grew up), and his chest almost exploded as you walked in, that he realized who his soulmate was.

There could have been worse soulmates, he thought as he watched you speak to Alphonse over his shoulder, not nearly as sly as he wished to be.

You and Al were such great friends — sure, it pissed him off a little, doubly jealous as both of you took up so much of the other’s attention — but it would’ve devastated him if you guys couldn’t get along.

You weren’t difficult on the eyes either — but that could have been the effect of his feelings or the soulmate bond, because though you were the most gorgeous thing he ever laid eyes on, he knew logically that you couldn’t have been the prettiest person in the world… but it sure did feel like it, though.

You were pretty smart — of course, he wouldn’t have cared if you weren’t, not everyone could be the prodigies he and his brother were, but he liked that you could follow along with the basics of what he was saying… even if you were completely uninterested in alchemy.

Which brought him to perhaps your most important quality, your patience. You sat there, day in and day out, listening to his rants and rambles even when it got to the point that common courtesy would have allowed you to flip him off and walk away.

And you just watched him from under Alphonse’s arm with gentle eyes, even though you both knew you were each other’s soulmates.

“Before I forget,” You interrupt Al, looking apologetic. “That new book you were asking about-“

“The one with the-?!” Al stops abruptly, snapping to look at Ed — who, in a moment of utter grace, flips around hard enough to bang both his elbow and his knee on the table.

But the pain and embarrassment might have been worth it to hear your laugh, loud and snorting and musical to his ears.

“I’ll go pick it up right now.” Al whispers way too loud, making you snicker. “Go distract Brother.”

“You got it!” You whisper just as loud, and Al giggles before sneaking off.

Ed bites the inside of his cheek, trying to will his cheeks back to their normal color when you plop down next to him, leaning your head on your palm.

“You ever gonna tell Alphonse? Or even make a move on me?” You were blunt too, awesomely to-the-point even to military officials like State Alchemists. Even Mustang went silent that one time you saw him berating your soulmate and stepped in, asking him about a book that was considerably overdue. He walked away with his chin held high, yet trembling under the disapproving glare of the Lieutenant.

Ed sighs. He knows you deserve better than him. He’s not unaware of how painful this if for you — it’s just as bad for him. He was never interested in romance or soulmates beyond a few discussions between the brothers and Winry about what they wanted their soulmates to be like… which usually ended with Alphonse rolling his eyes and Winry declaring that he would die alone.

He remembers declaring that he would be fine if he never had a soulmate. After all, his mom and that tall, bearded jerk who fathered him were soulmates. The stories their mother told the boys, twinkly-eyes and nostalgic, were what rooted their views on the concept: Alphonse yearned for it, deeply, and Ed grew bitter about it, understanding that even soulmates could ditch you and your two kids.

Until he met you, and suddenly he wanted… more. He wanted to try, to learn, for you. He knew you deserved so much, and even though he wasn’t sure he could give them to you, he wanted so bad to try. He was overcome with guilt and longing every time he saw your beautiful eyes.

But there was another guilt, a greater guilt and responsibility that came first. He mumbled your name forlornly, wishing so bad that he could say it the way he wanted to.

“I have to focus on this first. You know-“

“I know, I know.” You nod, but your eyes at downcast now, and he hates himself so much more now. “It would be nice to be acknowledged, though.”

He leans forward, putting his hand over yours.

You gasp; Ed’s not one to initiate physical contact, having jumped away the first time your skin touched his. The intense look in his eyes as they fix on your face doesn’t help, either.

“I’m gonna do right by you.” He swears right then and there, in his sacred place of worship, surrounded by the greatest works on Alchemy. “I’ll get mine and Al’s bodies back, and I’ll come find you.”

“Yeah?” You breathe out, eloquence stolen from you by his determination.

“Yeah.” He nods, squeezing your hand, a small smile curling up his lips. “I’ll take you to that café you like. It’ll be nice.”

A sudden urge to take it back, to pick another destination you might like better throws him; a café, how dumb was that?! You went there all the time! He couldn’t think of anything better than that?!

But you surprise him, laughing and biting your lip.

“Sounds great.” You say, completely genuine. At the sound of heavy footsteps, you rise, readying yourself to take your leave.

As you round the bookshelf that obscures his workspace from the rest of the world however, you stop for a moment, looking back.

“And once you’re done, you know how to find me.”

And you go, with a cute smile on your face.

it takes everything in toji not to laugh at you. not because your situation is funny per se, but because how fucking flustered you are. his tired eyes scan over your charts again, calculating in his head that you’re in your early twenties, first time at this gynecologist, a grown adult woman and yet you still can’t look him in the eye when you talk about your issues. it makes him want to fuck with you more, be mean, and pick with you. he smiles, folding his arms across his chest as he glances back over at your chart.

“oh yeah?” he asks quietly, his voice bordering on bored. it makes you frown as you glance up at him, before quickly looking down again. he’s too damn intense and cute to be staring that hard. but you nod silently, hands still wringing in front of you.

“yeah.” you repeat quietly. you hear him sigh softly through his nose before he moves slowly. he peels himself from off of the wall across from you, unfolding his arms as he pulls out the swivel chair not too far away from your swinging feet, and plops his ass down into the chair. he looks over at your chart once more before he sets it down on the sterile counter beside the two of you, before turning his full gaze and attention to where you sit on the bed.

“tell me more about this pain. details will help me help you, darlin’,” dr. toji says gruffly, leans back in his chair as he reaches over to pull on some gloves, but never takes his eyes off of you.

this angle is even more imposing, you think. it’s hard to think about your few bad experiences when this fine specimen of a man is staring up at you like that. like you’re nothing but a dumb girl who lets boys touch her without telling them that that’s not actually where your clit is. looks at you like maybe your pain is your fault, but he’ll be glad to help sort out your insides with his hands and maybe even his mouth—

you shake your head quickly, blinking rapidly to clear the dirty images that have plagued your thoughts in only a second. dr. toji arches a thin black brow at you, snaps on his gloves imposingly loud as he waits for you to speak. you clear your throat and look away again, over at a poster on the wall with an anatomy picture of a person with their legs spread and their vagina on display, little lines pointing to every piece that makes the vagina function.

“it’s, um, really bad.” you whisper, trying to think back on how you felt those last few times. you frown though when dr. toji chuckles at your choice of words, hands now folded in his lap as he hunches over slightly in place.

“descriptive words, sweetheart.” he sounds so placating, the fucker, makes you frown deeper as your eyes bounce around the clean, light pink room.

“like a, uh, a sharp pain in my lower abdomen whenever a guy, uh, you know…” fuck, explaining this shit is a lot harder than what you originally thought. you close your eyes and shake your head again when dr. toji speaks up quietly.

“when he puts his penis inside of your vagina?” you cringe at his choice of words, still thankful that he wasn’t overly graphic though. but it’s so fucking embarrassing either way, as you nod your head quickly and continue on.

“yeah, that.” you clear your throat. “it’s like a burning type of pain whenever a guy tries to put it in. like, i clamp down and nothing can enter me.”

now, this isn’t the first time toji has heard sexual tales from women before, and he’s heard some graphic, over shared, too much information, type shit before. but its something about you, about how you fiddle with your nails and bite your pretty bottom lip and look at everything else in the room except for him that makes him have to fix the growing tightness in his slacks.

“do you and your partners ever use lube?” he asks instead, trying to divert his thoughts into something that wouldn’t get him fired and his license revoked. you glance over at him from the corner of your eye though with a frown.

“no, why would we need lube if i…?” self lubricate, but the words die on your tongue before you can say them. dr. toji smiles softly at you, his crows feet crinkling in the corners of his eyes as he nods slightly.

“lube can still be extremely helpful, even with someone with a vagina. i would recommend a water-based lube, which you can find in any of your local pharmacies.” he says fluidly, like he had practiced these same words with people hundreds of times before. you nod quickly though, already planning in your head which pharmacy you were going to stop at on your way home after your appointment.

“do your partners ever prep you?” dr. toji asks next, hands grasped tightly against each other in front of his growing erection in his pants. the thought of drizzling lube all over your tiny little tight cunt, watching it dribble down into the crack of your ass, your mouth falling open silently as the coldness seeps into your pores—fuck, he needs to get his shit together.

“they try to, but they usually can’t get more than one finger in, so we just try and skip to the sex and, well,” you trail off, giving him knowing eyes as you silently explain the cycle of your partners not fitting and you getting the burning pain. he nods again, quiet as he thinks, thinks of your little pained screams from stupidly immature boys not knowing how to handle you, thinks of how he could show you how a real man is supposed to prep and fuck you.

“i’m thinking it’s vaginismus,” he says gruffly, gesturing to your legs as he grabs the little foot pedestals beside the bed and swing them around until they sit in front of you. he starts blabbering off on what vaginismus is exactly, your unconscious fear of penetration, the signs of it, and all that other shit. he’s on autopilot though, as he explains that he’ll have to do an exam on your vagina to really make sure his assumption is right.

but a vaginal exam isn’t really needed or necessary when it comes to your assumed diagnosis. he just wants to get his hands on you.

when your feet are propped up, dr. toji lifts your gown and pushes it until it lays across your belly. you lay back stiffly, body tight and nervous as this handsome doctor stares down at your exposed cunt, a shiver coursing through your body at his quiet hum when he sees you.

he doesn’t know how he holds back from coming in his pants at the sight of you, but he pats himself on the back from doing so. you look so fucking pretty and soft down there, a patch of hair over your mound, your clit still hidden beneath its hood, your lips spread and slightly wet. his cock twitches damn near violently in his pants as he hums again, hands itching to explore the cunt that lies right in front of him.

“i’m going to ask you a few questions. is that okay?” dr. toji asks softly, rests his hands on either side of your hips, squeezing softly to calm you when he feels you jump under the cold latex. you hesitate for a moment before nodding quickly, swallowing down the saliva that floods your mouth.

“y-yes, dr. toji.” so sweet, toji thinks as he holds back a groan. he nods to himself as he finally starts to slide his hands down from where they have settled at your waist, down until both thumbs stop at your lips, pulling them back slightly so he can see your precious, tiny little hole.

“do you mind telling me the age range of your previous partners?” dr. toji hums as he scoots his chair closer until his face hovers above your cunt. you shiver when you feel his breath puff against you, hole spasming without your control. he watches it though with bated breath, licks his lips at the sight of you and hopes that you can’t feel how his breathing has picked up.

“u-um, college aged. early twenties.” you whisper, eyes squeezed shut in anticipation. he doesn’t fully touch you yet from where he’s softly pulled back your lips, but you secretly just want him to—to do something more.

“so pretty inexperienced guys, huh?” dr. toji asks, his voice low and rough as he finally moves his hands, uses one thumb and forefinger to expose you to his greedy eyes, the other trailing a gloved finger down across your labia softly. you have to bite back a moan as your eyes flutter.

“yeah, i-i guess you could say that.” you confess, trying to keep your hips from shifting too much. toji grins wolfishly, although you don’t see him from where you blink up hazily at the white ceiling tiles.

“have you ever been with an older man?” his tone is done right predatory now, which makes your eyes widen as you lift your head up to stare at him. dr. toji just smiles softly at you, index finger still tracing up and down your slick labia before he runs his fingers against your puffy little lips.

“what does that have to do with my pain?” you ask breathily, head falling back down onto the headrest when his gaze becomes too much for you. toji grins, licking his lips, as he moves back over to start applying slightly more pressure to your labia to see your hole twitch.

“you usually find older men knowing what they’re doing when it comes to pleasing little things like you.” you’re starting to believe that this is taking an unprofessional turn when his finger suddenly slides from stroking your labia to passing over your hole. you clench up in response, breath hitching in your throat as your eyes squeeze shut. he hums under his breath at the sight, lip bitten raw between his teeth.

“do those boys you sleep with ever touch you right here?” dr. toji’s voice has taken a lustful tone to it now, something that whips throughout your body, that draws you up thin as you squeak quietly when his finger presses into your clit softly. the pressure is barely there, enough to make your hips arch up slightly to chase the feeling, to which he lets you. he smiles at how responsive your body is, how your knees draw up slightly, how you whine under your breath.

“n-no!” you whimper, eyes screwed shut as you try to keep from closing your thighs around his head. dr. toji uses his other hand to settle you back into place before it returns to spreading you out before him, drawing your lips open until he can see every part of you. his cock twitches in its confinements, begging to be buried in something as tight as you.

“do you ever touch yourself right here?” his voice is sultry as he moves his thumb side to side slowly. it’s the softest swipe he can muster with light pressure, watches how you writhe beneath him for more, bucking your hips into his touch as he feels his own breath starting to pick up from the sight of you writhing beneath him.

“yeah,” you whine, fingers digging into the bed and paper beneath you, hearing it rip from how hard you’re gripping it, head tossed back as you start feeling yourself near your climax already.

“do you ever put a finger inside whenever you touch yourself?” toji’s only asking for his own personal knowledge now, feels his own hips buck up into nothing, but doesn’t dare to move either of his hands away from your precious little cunt.

“no,” you pant softly, thighs starting to tremble as you grind your hips against his thick thumb fruitlessly. “just play with my clit until i cum.”

dr. toji groans under his breath, thinking of you rolling around in your bed, hand shoved in your soft cotton panties as you rub and rub at your aching little clit. thinks of how it grows and swells under the constant abuse, how it gets fatter with every orgasm, thinks of fitting it between his lips and sucking at the little nub until you cum and gush all over his chin.

“i’m gonna put my thumb in, okay, sweetheart?” dr. toji’s voice is breathless, as he leans in even closer, still swiping your swelling clit under his thumb, still letting you grind against the appendage as you get close to your orgasm. you nod quickly, trying to will yourself to relax to let him in, hearing how your hole squelches quietly under your panting from how wet you’ve gotten, knowing that his mouth is so, so close to you.

when dr. toji slips the thickness of his thumb inside of your tight little hole, you cum instantly on the spot. you have to muffle your cries with your hand as you throw your head back, hips still bucking erratically as you grind against both of his thumbs, one still swiping at your clit and the other slipping in and out of you in a slowed pace.

toji groans as he feels you tighten up impossibly so on his appendage, wondering how tight you’d feel on his cock when he’d fuck you. he feels a shudder go throughout his body as he comes so close to coming in his own pants, but silently not wanting to release unless it’s inside of you.

you ride out your orgasm with little mewls and breathy moans, eyes rolling beneath your lids as you start to grow sensitive as he never lets up on you. when you finally groan and start inching your hips up away from him, does he finally relent. but he doesn’t let you get too far before he captures your hips in his hands. your gown has slipped down from your thrashing, so you don’t see him lean forward until you feel his soft lips kiss your clit. you jerk with a moan, body tensing as the scar on his lip tickles you before he pulls back slowly.

he licks his lips, making sure you catch his eyes as you sit up on your elbows. you feel your entire body heat up under his gaze as he licks the wetness from the latex of his gloves on both thumbs, humming at your taste as you bite your lip softly.

you’re broken out of your stupor when dr. toji suddenly stands. he pulls off the gloves and deposits them on the counter instead of the trash, turning his back to you as he rifles through a drawer. he pulls out a small bottle of lube and hands it over to you with a wink as you still lay there dazedly.

“i’m prescribing you lots of lube and lots of masturbation. go farther than just touching your clit, and try to get some fingers inside of yourself, okay, darlin’?” dr. toji speaks as if he didn’t just give you an earth shattering orgasm just seconds ago. you belatedly take the lube from him, blinking down at it as you try to get your bearings together.

“and make a follow up appointment with the front desk for two weeks, ‘kay? if you need some help with getting those little fingers inside of yourself, don’t hesitate to call me.” he turns around mid sentence to scribble something on a note before he faces you again, a small scrap of paper with his numbers scribbled onto them as he winks at you. you only nod slowly, still coming to terms with what the fuck just happened. dr. toji seems to understand the look as he smirks at you, before making his way to the door

“see you in hopefully less than two weeks, sweetheart.” and with that, he makes his exit. you’re left pondering in your thoughts and a puddle of your own cum as you wonder if calling him the moment you left the building would be too soon.

“so why stay? hoping for someone to pick you up?” he says with a sly grin, the scar on his lip stretching. you practically melted, it was so rare to get a smile from him and it had never been directed towards you.

“n-no!” you defend, but it’s hopeless. he leans on the bar and throws back whatever was in his glass.

“if you want, i can be the one to pick you up.” he says, looking at you with a teasing smirk. you didn’t know how to reply, you didn’t know how much he’d had to drink and you didn’t know how much of that was a joke. ”it’s really up to you doll, i’m not gonna stick around all night waiting for you to make a choice. we have work tomorrow.” he says and his tone had returned to the bitter voice you were used to. he wasn’t joking.

the gravity of the offer hits you, the inappropriateness of it. you had wanted him since your first day. it didn’t even matter how mean he was to you, you wanted to fuck him, really fucking bad. you decide you need to make a choice.

as he shrugs his shoulders and begins to stand. you grab his arm and interrupt him. ”just wait.” you say, biting your lip. last chance to say no. “i’ll come with you.” you whisper. he leans back down to you and snakes his hand around your neck so his huge palm and long fingers are curled around the back of your neck. he brings you close again.

”it’s loud in here, i said speak up doll.” he says, making your breath hitch at the rugged sound of his voice. you take a deep breath and swallow.

“i said i’ll come.” you say back breathlessly.

“damn right you will.” he scoffs. he throws some money on the bar top to cover his tab and takes your hand.

your mind races, thinking about the repercussions. two sides pulling tug of war, is this about to be the best choice you’ve ever made, or the worst? you really needed this internship. the logic in your brain screaming to say no, just go home for the night and pretend this didn’t happen at work tomorrow. would that make him meaner, rejecting him? would he feel bad for coming onto you? your body wins, choosing the say yes.

suddenly, you’re pulled from your thoughts as the cool night air hits your skin, a stark difference from the body heat in the bar. you’re pushed against the wall next to the exit. the brick rubbing your bare back, but not painfully. you look up to see toji caging you in with his huge demeanor. he looks down at you, raking his eyes over your body. his breathing turns heavy as he leans on the wall around you.

“god, do you know how long i've wanted you?” he asks roughly.

“w-what?” your voice catching from your nerves, your eyes on his.

“don’t play coy with me. i know you get what i’m giving you at work. all the shit. i’ve needed you since you walked into my office.” he says hoarsely. he slides his hand to your jaw and runs his index finger down it, putting pressure on your chin to look up at him. you laugh softly. ”what’s funny?” he asks.

“i didn’t get that at all. i thought you hated me.” you chuckle. he surprises you by leaning down and touching his lips to yours gently. stunned at first, you don’t return the kiss. when he starts to pull away and you grab his face, pulling him back in and kissing him feverishly. he returns the heat of the kiss, opening his mouth to let you in. he bites you lip hard enough for you to yank back.

“whoops.” is all he says before leaning back into your and kissing you again. your hands roam his body, feeling his toned abs through the thin shirt and his taut back. you grab his biceps, feeling them flex as his hands explore your body as well. his large hand cups your breast and you moan into his mouth as his fingers brush over your hardened nipple through the fabric of your dress.

“let’s get out of here.” you whisper, pulling back. he seizes your hand and yanks you toward his car.

you step out of his car and he guides you to his apartment. no sooner is the door closed before his hands and mouth are on you. he reaches around to the back of your neck and begins to untie your halter top. you begin undoing the buttons on his shirt as quickly as you can. you peel it off his massive build, revealing a sculpted chest, tapering into a lean, powerful waist. his chest rose and fell unevenly as he looked at you. the sharp line of his abs led your eyes down to his slacks and the bulge begging to be released. you reach down and palm it, making him twitch.

he reaches back for your halter top and pulls it down your body, revealing your bare chest. he cups your breasts in both hands, massaging them before rolling your hardened nipples in his rough fingers. an accidental moan escapes you and he moves in closer and takes your mouth once again. he grabs at your boobs relentlessly. your pussy grows more and more wet by the second.

he slides the dress down your body and you kick it to the side once it's at your ankles. he slides your panties down your hips and you step out of them, expecting him to toss them when he puts them into his pocket.

“i’m keeping these.” he says slyly, grinning at you. you blush and he grabs you by your hips, lifting you onto the counter. he slides you back and wraps one arm around your waist while the other spreads your knees apart. he circles your clit with surprising tenderness. he drips his fingertips into your folds and spreads it across your clit.

“fuck doll, so wet and i hadn’t even touched you yet.” he groans. you put your hands on his strong shoulders as you throw your head back in pleasure. he begins to slide one finger into you and you groan from the size, long and thick. he pumps it a few times before adding another digit. he scissors his fingers inside you before curling them to hit your g-spot.

“toji-“ you whine.

“i know doll, but you have to take at least three fingers before i give you my cock,it will be too much.” he says seductively into your ear, his warm breath fanning over your neck. fuck if his fingers spread you this much how big is his dick? he continues pumping in and out of you, occasionally curling his fingers while he rubs your clit with his thumb. you feel tension build in your core.

“toji i’m about to-“ you mewl.

“i know baby, the way you’re clamping down on me, go ahead and cum for me, cum on my fingers.” he says and the pressure snaps. he continues and lets you ride your high on his fingers.

“you’re ready.” he says before picking you up. you wrap your legs around him and he carries you to the bedroom.

he sits you down on the bed and stands next to it. you sit back on the bed, leaning back on your arms, watching his muscles flex as he moves. he unbuttons his slacks and begins to pull them down with his underwear. he cock stands at attention, and its huge. long and girthy. the biggest you had ever seen, much less fucked.

“there’s no way that’s going to fit inside me.” you scoff.

“oh it will.” he says menacingly. he kicks off his pants and takes a step closer to you. you gulp at the sight of his huge cock in front of your face. ”lay down.” he demands and you obey, scooting backwards on the bed. he crawls on top of you and uses his knee to push your thighs apart. your knees fall apart and he lines his cock up with your entrance. he slips the tip between your folds teasingly.

he begins to slide in and you cry out, feeling like he’s splitting you in half. he slowly enters you, inch by inch. by some miracle, he makes it all the way in to the hilt.

“you see that?” he says. you look down at your stomach and see a small bulge from the tip of his cock. “that’s all me doll.” he says cockily. he presses down on your stomach and begins to fuck you slowly. dragging himself in and out. you can see it’s taking all his control to stay at this slow of a pace.

“toji” you say and his head snaps up, a worried look crossing his face. “fuck me.” you whisper and he smiles. he doesn’t need to be told twice and sits back on his heels, dragging you up by your hips to meet his and starts slamming himself into you.

after a few minutes, he slows. he steps off the bed and drags you to the edge. he brings your hips up and then brings your knees to your chest, pushing down on the backs of your thighs, making them burn. he enters from an angle above you and leans down to kiss you before he snaps his hips into yours, making you gasp. he feels even deeper than before in this position.

“fuck, youre so tight. and you're taking me so well.” toji huffs through ragged breaths.

“fuck toji i’m about to cum!” you cry out. your gummy walls tighten around him as you cream on his cock, leaving a sticky white ring around his base. he grunts and slides himself into you faster.

“i’m close princess, where do you want me to cum?” he asks.

“on my stomach, i’m not on birth control!” you rush out. he immediately pulls out and pumps his reddened cock a few times before cumming on your stomach. he topples down on top of you, wrapping his arms around you. he presses his body close and you feel his cum rubbing over his abs.

”take a shower with me. and stay the night.” he looks at you pleading.

“toji we have work tomorrow.” you say in response.

“i know, just come in late. but just know i’m gonna have to punish you in my office for being late.” he says with a knowing smile.

he looks at you with his tired, hooded eyes. "you remembered." there's a slight smile on his lips that accentuates that scar you find so captivating.

you invite him to sit and he does so, eager to eat the plate you prepared for him.

"oh, baby, you didn't have to do all this for me." his deep voice rumbles with the words as he reaches an arm out to lay his hand on your shoulder appreciatively.

you smile in response. "i wanted to." you sit down next to him while he starts eating his offal. it was lucky that it arrived only about five minutes before he got home, so it was still warm. you pass a sparkling drink to him in a wine glass, and only when he gives you an odd look do you say, "virgin. don't worry."

he lets out a content sigh. "you know me so well." he scarfs down his food with his virgin spirit as you two sit and enjoy each other's company in a comfortable silence. you lay your head in your arms on the table, happy to just watch him eat.

he lifts a brow. "you're not eating?"

you shake your head. "already ate, around seven."

he nods.

when he finishes his meal, he leans back, stretching his back and arms– oh god, you could watch that all day. but instead of going into a stupor, you sit up and cradle your head in one hand, an elbow on the table. your other hand slides him those scratch offs. "for you."

his eyes light up and he grabs them like a kid reaching for candy. "ooh, thank you."

you grin wider.

he scratches off all the tickets, and as expected, they're not jack pots, but you did manage to come out over what you spent on them. toji had fun scratching them off, that was the real prize.

"no winners. well, that's okay. thanks for the birthday dinner, it was superb." he lifts his finger and thumb pressed together to his lips and kisses them away from himself dramatically.

you let out a huff of air in response. "of course. you know, you do so much for me, i hardly have to do anything. it was nice to do something for you."

he smiles, showing his teeth, those perfect teeth that you love. you love the marks they leave even more.

"why don't you come to the bedroom, hm? i have one more gift. this one's wrapped," you say, cheekily. you can barely hold back a smile that threatens to take over your face, you have to bite your tongue.

"alright," he rasps, "lead the way."

you bolt out of the kitchen chair, almost too excited, as you march into your shared room. the candles are already lit and waiting. toji walks in behind you and chuckles. "i knew you'd pull something like this."

"then you know me too well," you reply, "it was supposed to be a surprise." you spin on your heels to face him, taking off your shirt, revealing the top of your lingerie. the brassiere is a light pink with lace. the two cups meet at your sternum with a clip that would open in the front. the shoulder straps have gold colored chains overtop and a criss cross pattern of overlying ribbons goes down your torso, down, down, into your pants, making the beholder wonder what lies underneath. "i'm guessing you remember that day you took me to the mall, right?"

he stands there, in awe. "i do."

you try not to laugh at your next line. "are you–" you stutter as your breath hitches and you chuckle. "are you going to unwrap your gift?"

he walks next to you and eyes you over, his pupils dilating in the dark, candlelit room, as his hands make their way down your sides to your hips. "fuck. happy birthday to me."

for a second, you pause, looking up into his green eyes, not sure where you're going from there, until you're being lifted by your ankles.

he grabs the back of your ankles, making you fall back onto your bed. your legs hang down as he deftly unbuttons your jeans and aggressively pulls them down your legs. you kick them away once they're at your ankles.

the criss cross ribbons led to the strappy and crotchless thong of the lingerie you wore. toji lets out a dark chuckle as he lowers a hand to your opening, nudging a knuckle between your folds. his finger is immediately met with slick wetness, encouraging him. you let out a small noise, anticipating what's about to happen.

toji has a strange expression on his face, like he's straining himself. "baby, what do you want? do you want it gentle?"

you give him a soft smile as you look at him through your eyelashes. "it's your birthday, toji. take your gift however you want it."

he groans and races to tear his clothes off, throwing them on the floor. as his large form hulks over you, you can't help it as your cunt clenches at the mere sight of him, at the thought of him just tearing you up tonight.

he slides two fingers inside you, quickly curling the pads of them into your walls, looking for a certain spot. once he finds it, he's relentless, pushing and grinding his fingers into it as he uses his thumb to rub tight, harsh circles into your clit. every movement has you playing into his hands, squirming at the stimulation as he works you up to an orgasm. he leans down over your body, his hand working overtime to make you cum for the first time that night. his perfect teeth sink into your collarbone, spurring you on. he brings you to an orgasm, a short burst of intense pleasure, forcing you to shut your eyes tight as flashes of white bloom under your eyelids and your hips buck hard against his hand.

"fuck, baby, just like that, pretty baby, cum all over my fingers, yeah? cum for me and i'll give you my cock, hmm?" he soothes you and pumps his fingers into you lazily as you come down. his hand withdraws from your heat slowly and he lowers his hand to grab his heavy cock, the tip leaking with pre cum. he brings his appendage to your pussy lips, rubbing his cock head up and down, collecting your moisture. he lets out a hiss as he pushes in, stretching you out, and it stings just a little, but the fullness delights you.

you swear you can feel every vein, every little branch coming off every blood vessel on his thick cock, as he splits you open and forces your little hole to shelter his dick. he whispers in your ear as his hips start to move slowly, making you whimper, "just like that, keep making those pretty noises for me." his lips move to nibble on your ear as his hot breath tickles you, sending shivers throughout your entire body.

he starts moving faster, finally gaining some traction. his hands wrap around your thighs, pushing them back to allow him more room to piston his dick into you as he stands straighter. he speaks again. "this birthday has been–fuck–wonderful, but i need one more gift, can you do that for me?" he has you cornered.

you nod, your breasts bouncing in their lacey confines as he works himself to completion within you.

"no, i need you to say it." his voice is dominant, assertive, as he punctuates each word with a harsher thrust of his hips into yours.

"yes, whatever you want, you can have it," you say, each word slurred and separated with a heavy breath.

"gimme a baby, can you do that? let me make you a mommy?"

the words light something up in you, and you know you're both young, you shouldn't, god, you shouldn't, but fuck do you want it. you let out a guttural moan at the thought. "yes."

and that was all he needed to hear. he picks up speed, thrusting his dick into you at a faster pace and he grabs your hips roughly, hard enough that you know there will be bruises perfectly in the shape of his fingers when you're done. every movement, every roll of his hips, everything has purpose as he fucks you. "gonna give you my load, gonna fuck a baby into you, you want that? want to be round with my babe?"

you can't do anything, won't do anything, except nod yes, whining for him to fucking honor you with his seed. "yes, please, please, wanna be so full, so full of your cum," you think you say, but your mouth is so dry from breathing so hard that you're not sure.

it seems like he got the message. toji lifts one hand off your hips to unclip the middle of your bra, opening the cups like doors and freeing your breasts. "fuck," his thrusts are particularly slow and sensual as he stretches that word out, groaning it for you. he leans down, trapping you under his large body once more. his hand latches onto your breast, one finger playing with your nipple, hard from the cool air. "can't wait for these tits to be so full of milk, you're gonna be so beautiful carrying my babe, gonna keep you glued to my dick until i know," he trails off. until he knows what? his words are all incomprehensible mumbles as he ploughs himself into you, grinding in place every now and then, his pelvis smashing against your clit deliciously. it sets you off, leading to another intense orgasm, this one much longer than the first. your pussy clenches around his dick like a vice, attempting to milk his cock of all it's got, and he falls further onto you, his lips and teeth latching onto the tissue of your breast. he bites down hard as he cums into you, fucking his way through his orgasm and pumping his seed into you.

even when he's done, he's still slowly thrusting and making sure to work his cum into you, to lather your spongey walls in it and do everything he can to make it quicken.

you cry out at the overstimulation, right after your orgasm, overwhelming your head as you reach your arms around his wide shoulders and scratch angry red lines down his back. his cock has softened at this point but he doesn't relent on his movement. despite the slight pain at accommodating his length at this moment in time, you can't stop yourself from these words. "make me a mother." you're practically begging at this point.

he licks the mark his teeth left on your breast before his hips start moving harshly again, his cock hardening once more. "you want that? wanna make me a daddy?"

you nod helplessly, desperate to please him, to take his load and all that he would give you. his green eyes look into yours as he brings himself over you, his hands on either side of your body as he towers over you.

"gonna put a baby in you, gonna fuck a baby into this sweet pussy, isn't that right? you're gonna give me a little baby, aren't you?"

you nod, but he doesn't wait for your response anyway as he goes on.

"take it, fucking take it!" he rasps.

he moves one hand to forcefully grip your chin and lift your head as he lowers his mouth to bite your neck harshly, his dick throbbing and sliding in and out of your sloppy heat. your pussy flutters around him as he sheathes and draws himself over and over, another weak orgasm overtaking you, bleeding into stronger, mind numbing pleasure that leaves you dazed. his thrusts grow stronger, but begin to lack rhythm as his orgasm approaches. he bites harder, groaning like an animal as he finally lets go. you cum again, you don't know how many times it's been at this point, and he completely empties himself in you. his seed spills out of you, even around his cock, from the sheer amount.

he huffs and lets go of your neck, rubbing his fingers soothingly over it. you're left trembling underneath him, trying to recover from it all. he doesn't pull out, opting to instead make sure as much of his cum stays inside you as possible. in fact, he lightly grinds against you, not for pleasure, but to work your joint mixture even further into you, if it was possible.

he glances at the alarm clock, letting out a small laugh. 12:07 am.

as toji gently lowers himself onto you, moving you two onto your sides and wrapping his large arms around you, he smirks.

"happy new year."

a few rounds go by and suddenly the top of the bottle lands on gojo, and when he spins it, you unconsciously hold your breath and pray. but unfortunately, it doesn’t land on you, it lands on suguru. and of course, gojo’s ready to tease him. making gushy, high-pitched noises at suguru as his friend is actively trying to get away from him. you’re giggling and so is everyone else in that small circle of yours, but for some odd reason, you can’t help but feel disappointed.

soon gojo settles for a quick peck on the cheek when he finally gets a hold of suguru, who’s whining about how he shouldn’t have played in the first place. after the fact a few more rounds go by, you’re letting shoko peck your lips and somehow mei mei kissing your forehead, saying something about how the lips aren’t for sale or something along the lines of that. you can’t tell by how buzzed you are off the alcohol, but you were getting giggly. although, the giggles stop after your first time spinning the bottle and the head of it lands on the boy who’s been awfully close to you the whole night. suddenly, you’ve sobered up and you’re looking at gojo as if you’d just seen a ghost.

everyone’s oohing and focusing their eyes on the two of you, but suddenly you feel subconscious of the gaze gojo has set on you. he’s looking down at you, his sunglasses falling down the bridge of his nose revealing those mesmerizing oceanic eyes. before you know it he slides a hand on your jaw, his lean fingers grazing your ear. with his other hand, he’s sliding his glasses off before he’s leaning in. 

you expected his lips to be soft, and smooth with that strawberry chapstick he used so religiously. you expected to smell his sweet cologne considering you could smell it any other day. but it was so much more, so much better than anything you could’ve ever expected. you can taste the alcohol on his lips, and you’re sure he can taste it on yours as well. but it didn’t matter anymore, because when it’s over and he’s moving away, you can’t seem to open your eyes. but when you do you’re met with his pristine face, his eyes also sealed shut. 

you all decide to end the game there, leaving you and a dumbstruck gojo to clean. you’re back to your giggly state suddenly realizing what just happened. it feels like a dream, there’s no way gojo and you would kiss, you’d been friends since sorcerers were still out for his skin. and gojo’s indulging in you, laughing along as you’re joking about the kiss.

“like imagine that, hehe… you and me?” your cheeks are hurting from how hard you’re smiling. you giggle as you whisper “crazy…” before you’re throwing a can of beer into the trash. 

he’s giggling too as he flops on the couch behind him, the area around you two somehow spotless, a complete 180 of how it looked when everyone left. “nothing wrong with platonically kissing some of my friends, besides,” you flop down next to him, making him pause to look at you. he hasn’t put his glasses back on instead they’re on top of his head crookedly. you don’t why but you think it’s cute, but that must be the alcohol talking. “i could totally platonically kiss you again.”

hearing him say that makes you smile, and suddenly the girl who was about to drop dead during the game is gone. you’re up for the challenge now, if he wants to play, “oh yeah? bet i could platonically kiss you and still feel nothing,” you’ll play harder.

he’s chuckling, the sound is sending goosebumps down your arms and butterflies in your stomach. but there’s no way, that has to be the alcohol in your system. “you wanna bet? right now?” he asked, getting awfully close to your lips, but you don’t move.

“you owe me an ice cream if i win, satoru,” his first name slips off your tongues so easily, it makes him excited, giddy even. hearing you say it somehow makes him love the name even more now. 

not even when his arm is resting on the head of the couch just inches from you, you don’t bat a single lash. “feel anything now?” 

“can’t feel a thing,” you’re both slurring your words, but you keep your eyes on his, the liquid confidence still exuding off of you. you can smell his cologne even stronger now, even the smell of the alcohol but that doesn’t bring you to your senses in the slightest.

so he moves closer, a hand on your waist now. he’s close, as in you can feel his breath on your lips close. “still nothing?” he smiles, and you feel his lips brush yours. you’re unconsciously fighting back a shiver.

masking it, you tilt your head, eyes darting down to his lips as a giggle slips from yours. you pause there for a second, eyes on his now, but he’s already looking at you. your heart clutches. “not a single thing—,” he wastes no time pressing his lips on yours. the hand that held your waist is wrapping around you, pulling you in closer. he’s gentle, he’s enjoying it, of course, taking in every second he spends wrapped up in you. your perfume is intoxicating, not to mention the plush feeling of your lips, he’s lost in it. and maybe, he feels a tinge of warmth in his core when you’re pulling him in closer. and maybe it grows stronger when you place your hand on his face. that shy kisser from earlier is gone, completely gone when he comes back to stare into your eyes.

you’re beautiful, breathtaking staring at him like this. you’re both out of breath, breathing in each others faces. he wants more, he needs more, but he snaps out of it hearing you utter something, your lips grazing against his, “absolutely nothing,” you’re smiling while you’re patting his cheek, slipping away from his touch. 

he watches as you walk your perfect self away from him, hips swaying to an imaginary beat, and suddenly he sees you, sees nothing but you. everything else doesn’t matter anymore. he doesn’t understand it but for whatever reason, he’s popping up and following you wherever you’re going. “you owe me some chocolate vanilla swirl, mister gojo,” you slur as you inch towards the front door, ready to walk to the nearest ice cream joint. 

with that intoxicating, drunk smile of yours, he’s pretty sure he’d be okay with following you to the ends of the earth. drunk or not.

and maybe this time it’s not the alcohol talking.

you stammered out. flailing your arm around in hopes of finding something to help haul yourself off the floor, but your legs scream in unadulterated agony, and blood continuously trickles out of your open wounds. you yearn to rest, to get in bed, where you can stay hidden from judgmental stares and lashings. with a heart heavy with humiliation and frustration, you would stay obscured for eternity, if you could. why weren’t you getting better? why couldn’t you just be…good? your checks were insufficient, barely enough to keep you afloat, funds calculated solely based on your skills. you despised the body you were born in, made to fight, yet failing to sustain yourself in a battle. you hated this all.

a tiny puddle of crimson forms beneath you, your body grows limp per second, breaths growing more shallow, and he finally thinks quickly. all the survival tips he had received throughout his life flashed through him. he dashes to his feet, hurriedly rummaging through the kitchen for the first aid that was nearby for instances like this. fetching a bowl of warmed water and a clean cloth, listening closely to your sniffles and whimpers, watching as you absentmindedly eye the puddle.

he nears you with stealthy steps and caution. the water swishes delicately as he dips the cloth into the bowl before ringing out the excess water. kneeling before you, he raises it to your face. you flinch when the dampened fabric comes into contact with your face, slowly leaning into its warmth.

you let him tear the rest of the shredded fabric off your aching body, leaving behind a tank top and nothing else but your underwear. toji focuses on closing up your gashes, the graphic wounds decorating your thighs, your arms, your waist. softly shoving your clothes to the side, bringing you closer to him with a grunt. he threads the stitch through the needle. deep-set, tired eyes meet emerald-green orbs, and even through the abyss, he sees emotion and distress glimmering in your eyes—fretful, sweet, but melancholic. a glint that almost looked like you were on the brink of halting, of giving up. he bites his lip, gazing down at the shaky needle he lifts so you can see it.

“ ‘m gonna have to close you up myself. “

you nod, mentally preparing yourself for this newfound pain.

he slowly begins, wincing when quiet sobs rack your body at the raw, piercing feeling—it sheathes into your taut skin, pulling and easing, assuring and cooing you as you paw at his corded arms, hands clenching around the fabric of his shirt, pleading for him to stop the pain.

your body slacks, pliant when he is over, crimson staining the whites of his hand. he makes it quick to clean up all the blood, the tears on your face, the sweat beads pricking at your skin, with softened eyes. shallow breaths overcrowd the room. and just so suddenly, he is overwhelmed by your state. reminding him of everything wrong with your lives, your jobs, and this situation.

he knows the company cares nothing for people like you—the weak, the people whose every mission is merely an attempt at proving themselves. an attempt to survive, brimmed to make it out unscathed. the ones who can barely dodge a simple challenge, a blazing bullet, to save their lives. they only want people like him; they need people like him. born with an innate talent to grab and cease. the ability to control and fight. to kill and destroy, winning the prize of millions of dollars.

yet, he watches the shine in your eyes dull every time you barrel through the door at an ungodly hour. another measly check slammed on the table. you always split it between rent and groceries. your bedroom door shuts with a resounding noise, muffled sobs from behind it. and…he's not supposed to care like this. you were just another assassin he was forced to work with, a shot at having a warm place when the nighttime dawned upon you. a couch to crash on when he was too tired to get a hotel, that was all. you had a working faucet in that cramped bathroom, the fancy heater cooped up in the storage room, which he hogs occasionally. food and company when he's tired of shiu and his boisterous laugh. a nice person who did not mind this arrangement, unless he mopped up the bathroom floor after showering. he's not supposed to care this much or even at all. it's insignificant, fickle, and triggering, even.

he’s a talented man, so what was he supposed to do with you? that small voice at the back of his head tells him to do the one thing this job does not require him to do. the one thing he repudiated. and it was to protect you.

you softly cough, covering your mouth before rubbing at the nasty bruises on your face. his eyes follow your every movement. when you lean backwards a bit, uncomfortably shifting, fresh tears cascade down your face. lidded eyes, he knew you were minutes away from knocking out.

“ who did this to you? “ he mutters, and you say nothing. you just shake your head with a soft, disapproving hum.

“ tell me… please. “

the plea catches your attention immediately, and you open your mouth to respond, but you can only get a whimper out.

“ it was just a mission gone…really bad. " you whispered, eyes fluttering shut. " thas'all. "

two pairs of hands cradle your cheeks, unusually delicate yet firm in guiding your attention to him. the skin on his hands is calloused, rough and clammy against your flushed, bruised face. your clouded eyes blink, fleeting all over his face. taking in the details from the specks of light in his eyes from the blue moon, his imperfections and his perfections, the flare in his nostrils. blood trickles out of your nose, mingling with the tears and snot, yet he doesn't mind it, as his fingers gingerly wipe the fluids away.

“ who did this to you? don’t let me repeat myself. ” he slowly utters. “ you know me…i don't let people get off the hook so easily.“

toji stares, he stares deeply into your eyes you have no other choice but to speak. and you do. he attentively listens as you speak about your failed mission, sobbing when you tell him about not wanting to do this anymore. of being so exhausted, so ashamed. he listens as you tell him about what you wanted out of your life, needing, yearning for more of its essence and happiness than whatever you were experiencing right now. no more nights of being yelled at for not being talented enough, for being such a failure. he carries you in his arms, trudging over to your room with your head laid against his shoulder, slowly falling in and out of consciousness. when he lays you in your plush bed, you immediately fall asleep, hands forming fists in the fabric of his t-shirt. he stays nearby, listening to your soft and chopped snores, watching the flutter of your curled eyelashes.

he promises himself to make a couple of calls and arrangements in the morning, maybe talk to shiu about blowing the brains of the people who did this, but right now, he wants to make sure you are fine.

and for the first time, toji accepts that he maybe does in fact love you.

he can't help it, yuji finds you breathtaking. he still can't wrap his mind around how you like him just as much as he likes you. how you're everything he could ask for in a partner, and how you treat him with respect and take him seriously whenever he asks for it. not mention no one can make him laugh like you do. no one can compare to your jokes, your laugh, and your smile, all of which make his heart pound. and to think that you're here showing him that you love and care for him each and every day, from sunrise to sunset, he's the luckiest guy in the world to have someone like you.

to think that he's able to experience love like this in his lifetime has his heart full and warm with adoration for you. 

he's obsessed, and he can confidently admit that he's completely enamored by you with a smile on his face. and he's done it before, in front of megumi, in front of gojo, todo, just about anyone who brings you up. he can't go a day without reminding everyone just how much he's truly and deeply in love with every aspect of you. 

although he can be quite the airhead at times, his skill in picking up social queues being a little off the mark, but in all honesty, he's learning. he's growing alongside you every day, and he wouldn't have it any other way. 

so as he notices you stirring in your sleep, he can't contain the smile on his face as you look up at him with those pretty eyes of yours. your sweet smile meets his gaze and he's pulling you in close, his lips landing on the corner of your lips. his heart is full of you, the space occupied for the rest of his days spent with you.