#g.gray-man

D.Gray-Man / Kanda POV / (vague) Yuulen & (implied) Yulma 

~

He’s come back to the Black Order to pay his debt (since death still has no plans to take him like it took Alma, it seems, and there are words gnawing at the back of his throat, waiting to burst out), only to find out that the damn Bean Sprout got arrested (for letting Kanda and Alma go, for hiding them), and then broke out and got himself officially classified as a Noah. 

Wonderful.

It’s a surprise (and he doesn’t say this to Lenalee when they talk about the brat, she’d get even more weepy about it) that Crown Clown hasn’t blown up in his stupid, buffoonish face, and caused him to Fall at the first vague thought of defecting from the Order. 

Stupid, idiot Bean Sprout. You have a fucking death wish, don’t you? 

(‘You keep saying that, but your opinion of him has changed,’ something that sounds a little bit like Alma chides from a corner of his mind.

‘He’s still an absolute moron, and everyone knows it,’ he shoots back because it’s true.) 

Still, no matter what, Kanda needs to find him, needs to talk to him, needs to…

He needs to tell him…

Well, there are things that need to be said, before he can move on and rest, as much as he’s rather choke than have to breathe the words out into the open. 

(‘You’ve said thank you already, and you’ve called him by his name. You’ve already started,’ that little voice insists.

‘Shut the hell up,’ Kanda also insists.)