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The fact that every president and VP has a garage or filing cabinet or shoebox full of classified documents isn't (merely) evidence of political impunity - it's also the latest absurd turn in the long-running true scandal: the American epidemic of overclassification and excessive secrecy.
If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:
Thousands of American bureaucrats have unilaterally classified tens of millions of unremarkable documents without any legitimate basis for shielding them from public view. Meanwhile, millions of people have "Top Secret clearance" and can view these documents, making a mockery of their supposed secrecy.
Writing for The American Prospect, David Dayen crystallizes the incentives, problems and corruption that we should be paying to, and laments that instead, we're scoring cheap political points about the recklessness of presidents and ex-presidents, heavily salted with paranoid fantasies about the Danger to National Security (TM) posed by letting these docs escape the airless chambers of official secrecy:
Overclassification is a well-documented (ahem) problem, used by bureaucrats to cover up corruption, crimes and incompetence, as well as out of the lazy reflex to declare everything to be secret. This is abetted by members of the vast "Intelligence Community" who have rotated into the private sector and have a lucrative side-hustle as TV talking heads who spin spy-thriller fantasies about the risks of these paper broken arrows.
Dayen points to Senator Moynihan's 1997 report on "Protecting and Reducing Government Secrecy," and its conclusion that if you declare everything secret, then nothing ends up being truly secret. It's a brilliant, readable, devastating critique of official secrecy. Nothing has been done about its recommendations:
https://sgp.fas.org/library/moynihan/
In 2016, the House Oversight Committee concluded that 90% of classified documents should not be classified, the same figure that the DoD came up with in its own report, 60 years earlier:
Meanwhile, the Information Security Oversight Office - which oversees classification - keeps ringing alarm bells about overclassification, with 50m+ documents being classified in a typical year. Rather than listen to the ISOO, Congress has cut its staff in half over the past decade. 620 ISOO employees oversee the three million Americans empowered to classify documents:
In 2010, the Washington Post's Dana Priest and William Arkin took stock of the post-9/11 explosion in state secrets in their "Top Secret America" report: "No one knows how much money it costs, how many people it employs, how many programs exist within it or exactly how many agencies do the same work."
Attempts to liberate classified docs using FOIA requests fail repeatedly, with US agencies returning heavily redacted documents, even blacking out a report on the plans of the "Group of the Martyr Ebenezer Scrooge [to hijack the Christmas Eve flight of] Prime Minister and Chief Courier S. Claus."
As Dayen says, the talking point from ex-spooks on TV that "overclassification is no excuse for bad document handling," is the equivalent of the old saw that "mass shootings are not the time to talk about gun control." And yet, the press keeps buying it.
Take the Politico op-ed by an ex-FBI spook, who turned the fact that "a foreign leader might like turnip-flavored ice cream into a classifiable scenario," proving that there is no overclassification excuse too absurd to get an airing:
For Your Eyes Only-- bodyguard!ashton [Chapter 12+Epilogue]
I can’t believe the end has finally come. I first posted this story on December 15, 2019 and was the first chaptered fic I posted (and now completed.) Thank you to those who have read and kept up with this story. It’s very near and dear to my heart. I’m sad that it’s ending but I’m so, so happy with it. Thank you again for loving Ashton and Alouette with me as I made my own fairytale💕💖
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. *copyright listed below*
• • • •
The palace has been abuzz with excitement and planning once again as Alouette’s coronation is approaching only a few days away. Queen Helene arrived a week ago to go over the plans for the ceremony. Every day has been filled with meetings on final decisions for the flowers, dress fittings and any other last-minute preparations.
Alouette is eating lunch while reviewing the itinerary of coronation day when there was a soft knock.
“Come in,” she says distantly.
“Is that how you greet your best friend?”
Alouette jumps out of her chair at the sound of Neva’s voice and races to hug her tightly, both squeal in delight at being in each other’s presence again. Neva’s birthday seems so long ago and with everything that happened since then, Alouette couldn’t be happier.
“I didn’t know you were coming today!” Alouette exclaims, still hugging her close.
“Ashton arranged it,” Neva laughs and draws back so she can inspect her best friend. “How are you mi alondra?” (my lark)
“I’m good,” Alouette nods with a small smile. She drops her hands to Neva’s, squeezing tightly. “A little nervous about the coronation but I promise, I’m okay.”
“Good. Two things, I need to see this ring!” Neva lifts Alouette’s left hand and ogles at the sparkling diamond that fits so perfectly on her finger. “Oh, it’s gorgeous. Ashton did well. And secondly, I need you to tell me everything there is to know about you and Ashton. How did this all start? When was your first kiss? How did he propose? Tell me all.”
Alouette informed Neva of everything that has happened over a whole pot of tea. She first began with her kidnapping and how she had the thought of Ashton that kept her alive. Neva held her hand the whole time she discussed what happened to her. Aside from Ashton, Neva is her closest friend who she tells everything to.
Her favorite parts were telling Neva about the best moments she and Ashton have had.
“I wish I could have been here for you too,” Neva tells her sadly, tears in her eyes. “My manager wouldn’t let me take time off, no matter how many fits I threw.”
“It’s all right, I had Ashton to take care of me,” Alouette smiles, “and besides, you’re here now for one of the most important days of my life. Apart from my wedding.”
They talked for hours until Ashton came in the room stopping their discussion.
“Hello, Neva,” Ashton smiles standing next to Alouette’s chair.
“Hi security man,” she grins. “Congratulations on the engagement.”
“Thank you,” his smile remains then touches Alouette’s cheek with his fingers to get her attention. Her blue eyes meet his. “It’s time for your dress fitting.”
“Not your wedding dress fitting, right?! I wanted to go shopping with you,” Neva frowns.
“No, it’s for my coronation dress,” Alouette answers with a soft chuckle. “We haven’t even picked a date yet, with what’s going on in preparation lately.”
“Good, because I am going to make sure your bachelorette party is to die for!”
Ashton exhales loudly at her choice of her words.
“You know what I mean,” Neva recovers innocently at Ashton. She smiles and bats her eyes for good measure.
Alouette laughs then takes Ashton’s hand rising from the chair. “I’ll see you later for dinner, Neve.”
“Bye lovebirds!” she calls behind them.
Alouette slips her hand in Ashton’s easily, since their engagement she’s been loving how open they can be with their affections towards each other. The best part is no one looks at them strangely because of it. Ashton gives her hand a gentle squeeze as they reach the staircase to the third floor.
Her heels and his boots clack on the tile as they ascend, the stairway is quiet and Alouette senses something is on his mind.
“Are you okay?” she asks, giving his hand a gentle pull. He sighs in response.
“Are you sure you want me to be a knight?”
Alouette halts on her step and Ashton stops on the one below her, his hazel eyes stare into hers and she can see the doubt in them.
“Of course, I do. You have all the qualifications, you deserve this honor, Ashton, especially after what you’ve all done for me. Loving me aside,” she adds to lighten the mood, but he still has a crease between his brows.
“I don’t know a thing about being a royal. What if we’re at an important dinner and I use the wrong fork? I could jeopardize something very import--”
Alouette stops his rambling by grabbing his cheeks and pressing her mouth against his. He responds enthusiastically, his hands grip her waist and she pulls away. Ashton chases her lips for more, but she strokes his cheek with her thumbs.
“Whatever silverware you use isn’t going to be a problem. You aren’t going to jeopardize anything, and I’ll be by your side the whole time, okay? We’re in this together,” she gives him one more soft peck and they continue their ascent to her dress fitting.
•••••
It’s the morning of her coronation and Alouette is woken in the best way possible. Ashton sprinkles the skin of her shoulder that’s exposed from her baggy night shirt with kisses. He makes a trail from below her ear along the curve of her neck to the tip of her shoulder. It’s the spike of her goosebumps that wakes her, a smile already on her lips.
While Ashton’s lips move back up to her ear, his hand is slipping beneath her night shirt, his skin hot on her belly while his fingers tickle up to her breasts. He kneads her flesh tenderly, but the action elicits a small moan from her lips. A sound that Ashton will always fall in love with as if it were their first time.
Alouette twists around capturing his lips in a feverish kiss. They both make quick work of removing his boxers and her panties, both craving the closeness the other can satisfy. Ashton swipes his middle finger up her slit and she gasps into his mouth. With his finger still teasing her, he works his mouth down her body using his other hand to push up her shirt.
Ashton licks the underside of her breast, loving the soft moans she makes as he continues lower and lower. Alouette spreads her legs open, her body flinching when Ashton presses the pad of his finger against her clit and her moan has increased in volume.
“Shh, my lady,” he hushes dragging his lips over her core. “Can’t have you waking the whole palace.”
“I—ohh!” She moans long and slow when he inserts his finger and kisses her clit.
Ashton is every form of gentle, pulling and curling his finger in and out of her just as her moans are soft in response. He licks at her in a savory manner, his tongue rolling and flicking over her bud. He hums against her when she places her fingers in his hair, brushing it away from his forehead. Her back arches and her toes curl when her body heat rises, and Ashton quickens his actions.
He knows she’s close, so he removes his mouth so he can quiet her moan with a kiss while his fingers continue to work her over. She’s bucking her hips against his palm.
“Please, please,” she whimpers around his mouth. “Need you.”
She fumbles in the drawer of her nightstand for a condom and rips it open hastily while Ashton kisses her neck. She rolls it over him delicately and Ashton removes his finger grabbing hold of himself. He pushes against her entrance before sinking in inch by inch. Alouette drags his mouth back to hers as they both moan in pleasure. Their bodies roll together as he pumps into her with desire, their fingers interlocking and breaths turning ragged.
For a moment, she forgets that she is to be Queen in a few short hours and that every eye will be on her. For this moment, it’s just Alouette and Ashton, two people desperately in love. She sighs his name and he breathes her in as they come together, a true force to be reckoned with.
“I have something for you,” he kisses her cheek after they’ve caught their breath and he slips out of bed. She watches him pull out a box from his trousers that are thrown over the chair at the foot of her bed and he sits next to her again. “Happy coronation day.”
Alouette sits up and opens the box, gasping when she sees what’s inside. Perched in the center sat a swan pin made completely out of diamonds. She gasps.
“Ashton, it’s beautiful!” her fingers trace over the small diamonds faceted along the slender neck, then she glances up at him, “you need to stop spoiling me with gifts.”
“I’ll be your husband soon, it’s part of my husbandry duties,” he grins, and she pokes his dimple.
“Then I shall spoil you with gifts!” she giggles and falls on top of him.
He holds her fingers to his cheek so he can kiss her palm. “You already spoil me, Alouette,” he says.
His hands then roam over her bare back under the shirt and he feels her scars. He pulls her closer just as there’s a knock on the door.
“Miss Alouette! It is time to get ready!” Rosa calls from the outside of the door.
“Just a minute, Rosa!” Alouette calls and gives Ashton a kiss. “I’ll wear this pin today, thank you, I love it.”
“You’re welcome,” he hums, and they clamber out of bed.
They dress quickly and when Alouette is in her robe, Ashton opens the door. Rosa and Alouette’s other maids’ bustle in with her dress that’s secure in the white bag. No one has seen it except the designer and her ladies. Ashton tries to sneak a peek when a make-up team comes in and hair stylists.
“Calum, Michael and Luke are waiting for you downstairs,” Sydney tells Ashton. She’s always on top of keeping everything in order and on a timely fashion.
“I’ll see you soon,” Alouette smiles at him.
Before he can be shooed out by Sydney, he sneaks a quick kiss to Alouette’s lips. “I love you.”
“I love you, too,” she giggles, he pinches her cheek lightly and leaves the room.
Alouette listens to Sydney rattle off the time slots, where and when to enter the hall and reiterates part of the oath that will be spoken. Alouette listens while keeping her gaze on her eyes in the mirror while her hair and make-up is being done.
Her stylists twist her hair into an elegant chignon so that the Regent’s Crown will fit perfectly atop her head. All her ladies help her into the dress. It’s blush pink in color with lace appliques and a cape that can be added near the back at the center of her lower back. Her jewelry is added last, simple pearl earrings and a diamond necklace.
Rosa places the swan pendant Ashton gifted her with and took her hand, tears in her eyes.
“I’m so proud of you, my lady,” Rosa smiles.
“Thank you, Rosa. Thank you for everything,” Alouette squeezes her hands and gives her a tight hug.
“Princess,” Sydney says, “it’s time.”
•••••
Alouette stands outside the large oak doors while the small orchestra in the balcony plays a beautiful ballad and then the doors open and she’s walking gracefully down the aisle. Her guests, Princes and Princesses, Kings and Queens, other dignitaries, friends, family, and some of her people stand on either side of her.
She passes the television crews that are all along the back of the hall. Reporters are writing furiously in their pads; everyone is at apt attention.
Alouette has been trained not to look at their faces, to keep her face forward to where the Archbishop Belisario is standing with the orb and sceptre that she will be holding. She keeps count of her breathing, feeling very aware that all eyes are on her but when she spots Ashton off to the side near the front, and their eyes meet, she instantly relaxes.
Queen Helene is already sitting in her respective throne off to the left, when she catches the eye of her granddaughter, she winks and smiles proudly.
As she walks by the guests, she hears them whisper quietly to one another as she passes because of the back of her dress. One request she had was that the back would be see through, so that her scars would be seen. She wanted to show her people that as Queen, she is fierce and tenacious. She lifts the skirt of her dress when she reaches the four steps and rises carefully to the throne.
Alouette twirls around so she’s facing the congregation and Archbishop Belisario comes to stand next to her just as the music fades away and she takes her seat on the throne. The seat is plush and soft beneath her and the Archbishop speaks his prayer over her.
“Welcome all to the coronation of Princess Alouette. I give thee, the orb of Peace and the sceptre of Longevity,” Archbishop Belisario hands each item to Alouette.
She holds them proudly, the weight is heavy, but she keeps her composure, chin held high.
“Madam, is your Majesty willing to take the Oath?”
“I am willing,” Alouette answers proudly. She keeps her gaze focused on the stained-glass panes near the back of the hall. It’s an array of colors with the center of it being a large tree with plenty of green leaves.
“Will you solemnly promise and swear to govern the people of Chadria, according to the statutes in parliament agreed upon, and the respective laws and customs of the same?”
“I solemnly promise so to do.”
“Will you, in your power, cause law and justice and mercy to be executed in all judgments?”
“I solemnly promise so to do.”
The Archbishop removes the crown from Queen Helene who has risen from her chair and he places it atop Alouette’s head. The weight is lighter than that of the orb and sceptre, but she feels the weight, nonetheless. It holds the weight of her power, of her reign over her beautiful country. Alouette stands, wearing it proudly as the ceremony comes to a close.
This is the big moment as she takes her first step forward to declare the last part of her Oath now as Queen. She clears her throat softly and shifts her focus from the stained-glass window to her people.
“The things which I have promised, I will perform and keep. So, help me, God,” she speaks with authority and her voice doesn’t waiver. She takes one step forward.
“Presenting, Her Majesty, Alouette Jolene Iduna; Queen of Chadria,” Archbishop Belisario concludes and the hall erupts in cheers and applause.
Alouette smiles proudly, eyes gazing over the people in front of her, her people. She sneaks a glance to her left where Ashton is clapping proudly as well, a large smile on his face. The Archbishop takes the orb and sceptre from her so she can take her first walk as Queen. Her grandmother approaches next, kisses her cheek and then Alouette descends the stairs once more. The orchestra plays Chadria’s anthem and this time, as she passes, the people bow or curtsy to her and the doors open once more as flashes from cameras announce her exit.
•••••
Three days after Alouette’s coronation is Ashton’s knighting ceremony, her first act as Queen. In those three days she has aided Ashton in the ceremony and has had a white suit made for him to wear. It will be broadcasted just as her coronation was. Guests filled the seats with Luke, Calum and Michael sitting in the pews off to the right, they sat in the same spot for Alouette’s ceremony.
The Herald stands at the podium waiting for the time to start and he clears his throat into the microphone. The room falls silent and Alouette squeezes Ashton’s hand in assurance as the Herald begins. Next to the Herald on plush red velvet pillows are the Knight’s chain, the Sword of Nobility, the white belt of Chivalry, and the sword Ashton will be presented with as his own.
Victor, who is also a knight, stands near the objects with a page boy to help hand off each one as the ceremony commences.
“In days gone by, there have existed many orders of knighthood which recognized the skill and honor of their members. From the knights of the round table to present day, it is in their duty of service and of the noble ideals of chivalry embodied by their Queen, did these orders achieve this highest rank. Members of this Order of Chivalry are mighty warriors, but also were skilled in the arts and have given their time to the benefit of the common weal.
“As such, they have been recognized as Peers of the land. Our Majesty the Queen will now begin the knighthood. The Crown calls forth Ashton Fletcher Irwin to come before the Court and company here today.”
Ashton and Alouette stand, they step forth in front of the podium and Ashton kneels before her, his hands clasped together in front of him. When he looks up at her, she smiles radiantly at him and he can’t help but smile back.
“Ashton Irwin, have you undertaken to accept the accolade of Knighthood that has been offered to you?” she asks, her voice echoes throughout the room.
“I have,” he responds.
The Herald holds the chain above his head to showcase it to the crowd and Victor steps forth.
“This chain has been passed from knight to knight throughout the ages of our kingdom. Let it now pass from knight to knight again,” the Herald says and hands it to Victor who holds it tenderly between his fingers. “Bring forth the great Sword of Nobility.” The Herald is handed the sword from the page boy.
He presents it to Alouette who accepts it delicately in her hands, letting the tip of the sword hang a centimeter above the floor.
“Ashton Irwin,” she begins, eyes on him, “you have been deemed fit for this high estate by your peers and have indicated your willingness to accept this honor from my hand. Do you solemnly swear by all that you hold sacred, true and just, that you will honor and defend the Crown and Kingdom of Chadria?”
“I will.”
“That you will honor, defend, and protect all ladies, and those weaker than yourself?”
“I will.”
“That you will be courteous, honorable and loyal of the Chivalry?”
“I will.”
“That you will be charitable and defend the poor and helpless, that you will be brave and never avoid dangerous paths out of fear?”
“I will.”
Alouette lifts the sword, the tip hanging precariously over his right shoulder. “Then having sworn these solemn oaths, know now that I, Queen Alouette Jolene Iduna of Chadria dub you with this Sword of Nobility and by all that you hold sacred, true, and just . . . Once for honor—” she touches his shoulder with the blade then moves back and forth on each shoulder each time “—Twice for Duty . . . Thrice for Chivalry. . . Arise, Sir Ashton Irwin!”
Alouette hands the sword to the Herald who then hands her a white belt with red jewels encrusted on the buckle as Ashton rises. She holds the belt in front of him.
“Accept this white belt, symbolizing the purity of your honor, the sign of the Order of Chivalry, and of your knightly rank and station,” she says and ties the belt around his waist. Then she is handed the Knight’s chain holding it before Ashton. “Accept from my hands this chain, passed from knight to knight, for each knight is a link in the honor of our Kingdom. It symbolizes your fealty to Crown and Kingdom. Take this chain and swear.”
Ashton grasps the chain in his hands, right below Alouette’s and looks to the Herald who will tell prompt him what to recite. He fixes his gaze to Alouette after the Herald begins speaking.
“This day do I render homage and fealty to my Sovereign Lady, Alouette Queen of Chadria who will, from this day forward, be my Liege Lady. I will remain true in all ways, serving you faithfully. . .” Ashton can’t help this is just as intimate as a wedding ceremony will be when repeating his vows, “this do I swear by my belt and chain and by my honor and by the high ideals which I hold as a Knight of this land. So, say I, Ashton Irwin.”
“I accept your homage, fealty, and pledge to you that from this day forward until the end my reign you are my Liege man that I will honor your order and defend your rights as a Peer. I will protect the trust that you have placed in me, mighty with justice, tempered with mercy,” Alouette speaks then holds up the chain from his fingers. “Accept this chain, which will symbolize your duty and your bond as Liegeman in fealty to the Crown of Chadria. Never forget the burden of this chain.”
She places the chain around his neck and then a sword is pulled from its sheath by the Herald who holds it in front of Ashton. It’s beautiful and sharp with ruby jewels encrusted on the pommel and guard. Ashton’s eyes widen, he was told he’d be getting a sword, but he didn’t think it’d be this exquisite or grand.
“Accept this sword,” Alouette begins again listening to the prompting from the Herald, “which will symbolize your prowess at arms. Remember this: the sword of the Chivalry should be drawn only in defense of the land, or in front of those weaker than yourself. Wear it with care. Wield it with mercy.”
Alouette points to the sword as the Herald presents it to Ashton who takes it in his own hands examining it quickly before Victor places it back in its sheath. Alouette smiles at Ashton and lifts her hands in the air, motioning him to stand. He rises slowly, eyes fixed on her.
“Arise, Sir Ashton, for you are now a knight of Chadria,” she declares, and he faces the crowd.
“For Sir Ashton Irwin,” the Herald declares, “hip, hip!”
“Hooray!”
“Hip, hip!”
“Hooray!”
“Hip, hip!”
“Hooray!”
Ashton is welcomed in glorious applause and Alouette can see how hard he’s trying to keep his composure. His mouth is quivering from trying not to smile and she admires him proudly. He looks magnificent in his white uniform, his silver chain and white belt. She takes his hand in hers and can’t resist to kiss his cheek.
He truly is her knight in shining armor.
•••••
THREE YEARS LATER
Alouette’s dogs are barking as they prance and run joyously on the palace grounds. They’re chasing younger children and trying to capture the bubbles that the small ones are blowing into the spring air. Rosa is setting up the food table with help of the maids in waiting while Ashton and Alouette watch fondly from their bench.
Calum is off to the side with his shades covering his eyes surveying the area while Michael and Luke are playing with the little ones. Other forms of security are around the perimeter of the grounds. After Alouette became Queen there were more candidates wanting to aid in her safety, especially after Ashton was knighted.
He made sure each one that applied would be a good fit, not just with him but with Calum as well since he became head security guard after Ashton left his post. He still made sure to have an oversight of all security details, he’s a man of habit, but he’s been loving his married life with Alouette.
Their wedding happened about a year after her coronation and his knighting ceremony on a beautiful spring day much like this one. Clear blue skies with a cool breeze that felt nice in the warm sun. Ashton cried as he watched her make her way towards him, she looked like an angel.
Everything about her was soft and delicate, her hair pinned loosely around her face with a tiara on her head, lace flowers covered her bodice and the swan necklace he gave her sparkled in the sunlight. Both of their voices quivered as they recited their vows and when he kissed her for the first time? He thought he’d burst from happiness and the love he felt for her.
Their first year of marriage was adventurous. It wasn’t much different from when he’d travel with her before but now, he was her right-hand man, standing the forefront with his Queen and his love. He counseled with her late at night going over new laws or funding’s that needed review. They’re a team, a solid unit, and the people of Chadria even call him ‘Prince Ashton’ on accident but he fits the role perfectly.
There’s a loud squeal to their left that they both have grown accustomed to and could spot from a mile away. Their daughter, Penelope is running towards them in her pretty pink dress. Her dark blond ringlets bouncing behind her until she finally crashes into Ashton’s legs.
“Hello, my love,” he greets her and lifts her into his lap just as Luke comes to a halting stop. He was chasing her and is clearly out of breath.
Penelope cuddles into Ashton and Alouette smiles fondly at her little princess. She’s perfect in every way but especially today since it’s her first birthday.
“Why were you chasing her?” Ashton asks with a smile; Luke is still panting heavily.
“She stole my earpiece,” Luke huffs.
“Penny, did you take something of Luke’s?” Alouette asks her sternly. Penelope turns her head to her mother, a mirror image. She nods against Ashton’s chest and he chuckles, kissing her blond head. “Can mommy have it, please?”
Alouette holds her hand out, palm up. Penelope hesitates but when Ashton nudges her quietly telling her, ‘go on,’ she drops the small earpiece into her mother’s hand.
“Thank you. It’s time for cake, no more stealing little princess,” Alouette scolds but pokes her in the dimple, the same one that is present in her father.
Penelope smiles and the small family rise from the bench and make their way to the table where Rosa is. Alouette hands Luke his small equipment with an apologetic smile. Alouette’s grandmother and Pete are seated in one of the chairs, party hats on their heads. Flowers are scattered about the table and Neva is helping one of the little girls into her seat, the ring on her finger sparkles in the sun.
Alouette smiles at her when Michael comes up behind her, holding onto her waist and whispers something in her ear that makes her laugh. Not too long after the celebrations of the coronation and knighting, Neva and Michael got to talking and now they’re engaged to be married in just a few short months. They’re both Penelope’s godparents.
Neva looks up and smiles at Alouette while they take their place next to where Penelope will be seated in front of her cake. It’s a small one-layer cake with cloying white buttercream frosting and intricate flowers placed all over it. Luke and Calum join behind Ashton and Alouette who are kneeling behind Penelope in her chair.
Once the birthday song has been sung, Penelope digs right into the cake putting the piece she grabbed right in her mouth. Chocolate crumbs fall on her dress, the frosting smears on her nose which causes everyone to laugh. She looks to her left at Ashton’s smiling face then smears her little hand over his mouth.
“Mm, thank you my love,” he chuckles trying to lick off the treat. Penelope giggles then claps her hands, cake flies onto Alouette’s dress.
She laughs it off and looks to Ashton. He’s smiling back through his chocolate smile and grasps her hand in his. He leans over their daughter’s head to give her a sweet frosting kiss.
When cake is finished and Penelope is all cleaned up, she’s sitting on a blanket in Helene’s lap while Pete reads all the little kids a story. Helene brushes through Penelope’s hair gently as they listen to the story of a princess who fell madly in love with one of her royal guards.
“Do you think she knows this is about us?” Alouette asks Ashton. His arms are wrapped around her waist, his chin resting on her shoulder as they listen to their own story which was a gift from Neva who had a friend that wrote children’s books.
“She will when she’s older,” he nods then interlocks their fingers together over her stomach. “I’ll tell her everyday how I let my guard down for her mother.”
“And I’ll tell her how I showed my heart for your eyes only.”
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Would definitely recommend listening to If I Could Fly!
*gif not mine*
♫If I could fly, I'd be coming right back home to you.♫
"I miss you, baby."
"I miss you more, my love."
"Just a few more months then I get to come home."
"I've been counting down the days ever since you left."
"You're looking very comfortable in our bed."
"It's not as comfortable when you're not here."
"I'll be home soon, I promise. If I can be anywhere in the world right now, its to be with you."
♫I think I might, give up everything just ask me to.♫
"Jeff, you can't do this shit! It's not fair!" Harry yells, pulling his hair.
"I'm sorry, Harry, but there's no way you have time."
"We talked about this! We talked about this months in advanced. I informed you before we started planning!"
"The schedules got mixed up. I'm sorry, but there's nothing I can do, I already tried.” Jeff says in sympathy as Harry storms out.
Harry wipes his eyes and sniffles, "This isn't fair. I was suppose to be with you in two months and now they prolonged it to five? Why would they do that?"
"I'm sure it's not his fault, baby. Maybe he genuinely got the schedules mixed up." You say as your try to make him feel better.
"I just want to be with you. I just want to hold you." He says, looking into the camera.
"I know, love, I know."
"This is making me so stressed." Harry stands up from the bed. “Tell me you want me with you."
"Of course I want you-"
"Then tell me to leave. Tell me to leave everything here and fly back home to you. Tell me and I will drop everything without hesitation. I will do it in an instant."
"I know you will, baby, but I can't do that. That’s a lot to ask from me. As much as I want you holding me, I can't let you ruin your career. I can't do that. You're so passionate about it and you love it so much. Plus, your fans? You love them and they've been waiting for so long to see you." You try to reason out.
♫Pay attention I hope that you listen, cause I let my guard down. ♫
He's always loved that about you; how you're so supportive in what he does.
You met harry when you were a student in uni. It was your last year and you had just passed your finals. A few friends invited you to a party that was organized in a hotel and the people invited were family members and close friends, so about 40 people were at the gathering. You arrived alone, heading straight to your friend, which she just so happens to tug your arm and introduce you to her cousin, Harry Styles. Of course you knew who he was, you had a phase when you were a teenager in high school. You were completely shocked, also because your friend didn't tell you that she was related to harry.
"You're very pretty." Harry says shyly.
"Thank you so much, you're very handsome." Harry blushes at your comment.
The rest of the party, it was simply you getting to know him personally, and him getting to know you. as the night ends, it was all time to head home.
"It was really nice talking to you." Harry says as he walks you to your car.
"Likewise. I had a nice time." Harry smiles.
"Listen, I don't do this often because people tend to take advantage of the fact that my career is my career, but I would love to see you again. I've never had anyone listen so deeply to what I had to say and I really appreciate that. I've also never told said some things out loud, so you're the first person to know some things, and it may be a little risky to do that, but I trust you."
You smile, "Thank you so much for trusting me, Harry, and letting your guard down tonight. I really appreciate you sharing your stories and experiences."
Harry sighs sadly, "But I'm passionate about you and I love you so much."
"And I love you so much more, but we'll get through this. The next five months will go by quick."
Harry nods and agrees for the sake of agreeing.
♫Right now I'm completely defenseless. ♫
"I just want to be with you and our little one."
You rub your stomach and smile at his words. You're four months pregnant, and you and Harry are extremely excited to start this new chapter in both of your lives. You fell pregnant a few weeks after yours and harry's third year anniversary as a married couple. You both agreed to just spend it inside, cooking, baking, and watching movies, and once the night was coming to an end, he spent the rest of the night loving on you and vice versa.
"We want you home too. She misses you so much."
Harry tears up, wanting to be home to his wife and daughter. "Put the phone next to her." He waits until he sees your stomach, "Hi baby girl, it's your daddy. I miss you a whole lot. I'm sorry I can't be there right now, but I will be very soon. I miss talking and kissing you every night, but we have a few more months and I'll be right beside you everyday, I promise."
You tear up at his words, wanting nothing more than to hold him and stop his crying. Once he's done talking, you bring the phone back to your face.
"And for you my wife, thank you for understanding every single time. I've said this a million times, but I just want to hold you in my arms with the comfort of our baby. I'm just nervous and scared that I won't be there in time when you she comes."
"Of course, Haz. And don't worry about that. You will make it on time, and if you don't then that's completely okay, we'll just have to have another one." You say winking, trying to lighten the mood up.
Harry chuckles, "God, I've missed you."
You both talk for a few hours before it was time to end the call and sleep another sleep closer to him coming home.
The next four months went by smoothly. Harry facetimed you every single day to talk to you and the baby. You facetimed him when you were out buying last minute things for your daughter that was due in the next month.
At the end of your eighth month, you're preparing for the arrival of your baby girl. You organize the little baby clothes that you bought and starting putting them into drawers.
You then sit in the rocking chair due to exhaustion and start rubbing your stomach.
"Almost there, bubba." As you're rubbing your large belly, you feel like something's off. you want to ignore the feeling, saying that it's nothing, but you can't. So you get up, grabbing your stuff, and heading out.
"Hi Harry, you're probably on your way to your hotel or you just landed, but I just wanted to let you know that I'm at the hospital. Something didn't feel right, so I wanted to make sure everything was okay. I'll keep you updated. I love you, see you soon."
As soon as you end your voicemail, you hear your name being called. You've done this procedure many times. The cold gel spurting onto your stomach as the nurse rubs it around and looking at the monitor. It takes her a while to say something and you also look at the monitor, trying to see what she sees.
"Uhm," she clears her throat, "I'll be right back." She leaves the room and you can't help the shakiness of your hands. Soon enters a doctor.
"Hello, let's see what we have here, shall we?" You nod, not trusting your voice.
The doctor rubs around with the probe. He hums and puts the probe down.
"Listen, we're going to have to perform an emergency c-section." Your eyes immediately feel like they're going to fall out.
"W-what? Are you sure? I don't want that!" You feel tears prickling your eyes.
"It's the only thing we have to do for your baby to make it out alive. You see, we couldn’t find the heartbeat, so she's not breathing and you came in just in time for us to perform this surgery." You feel like you're about to vomit.
Your baby isn't breathing.
♫I've got scars, even though they can't always be seen. ♫
The nurses told you that you'll be awake the whole time while being under the anesthesia because it's just suppose to numb you. They said it would take about 45 minutes for the whole procedure and you trust them that it's no longer than that.
You've just gone numb and it was time to cut your stomach open.
You turn your head to the side as you talk to a nurse and she's happily talking to you back.
"Where's harry?" You say loopy.
"I'm not sure, he might be on his way, but we don't know where he's coming from. Do you know?"
"He's coming from Washington D.C. He has a show there."
The nurse nods, hoping he'll be here quick.
"Do you know if he's going to make it on time?" You ask.
"We'll see, love. All in good time." You nod at her response, just wanting harry to be here.
♫And the pain gets hard, but now you're here and I don't feel a thing. ♫
You both chat for a few minutes, until you don't see the nurse anymore. She steps aside and Harry comes into your vision.
You smile, "Baby."
"Hi my love, I'm sorry I couldn't be here sooner." He gives your forehead a kiss.
"It's okay."
"How're you feeling?" He asks.
"Better now that you're here.”
Harry blushes, "Well, I'm glad."
You and Harry talk for the rest of the procedure. Both of your eyes never leaving each other. Harry only takes his eyes off you when your baby is out.
Like the doctor's prediction, the umbilical cord was wrapped around her neck. Harry's heart is pumping out of his chest as he sees the doctors getting her to breath. They squeeze a suction in her mouth and try warming her up. Harry feels as if he can cry any minute as he's witnessing the second love of his life being brought to life.
And soon enough, his baby girl starts crying. Harry's shoulders relax and turns back around to look at you again.
He kisses your forehead, "She's here, love. Our baby is here."
You smile in content, happy everything went okay.
And everything went black.
♫For your eyes only, I'll show you my heart. ♫
Harry sways while holding his daughter in his arms. It's 3 in the morning and she's about 3 months old. He heard her through the baby monitor as she cries.
He isn't wearing a shirt because he loves the skin-to-skin contact he gets when he's holding her. It makes him feel closer to her and he admires the way her cheek lays on his chest.
Harry hums as he bounces his baby lightly. She won't go to sleep, but she has stopped crying. She looks up into his eyes in the dim lighting. His eyes light up and presses a small kiss to her nose. She flutters her eyes at him. Harry's sure he's never seen anything cuter in the world.
“I just wanted to say how much I love you, princess. Ever since I found out your Mumma was having you, I was so ecstatic. Mumma and I were already so happy with each other, but we didn't know that we needed you here until now because you're the perfect cherry on top in our lives. And I promise you from this day forward, I will show you and teach you everything you need to know. I will open my heart up to you and protect you from the cruel world we have. But i know you will be the sweetest, kindest little angel in the world and the world needs angels like you."
His baby girl falls asleep to the sound of her father's voice. She smiles in content hearing her favorite man's vocals as she sleeps soundly.
Harry puts her back in her crib and quietly walks out and into the bedroom. He climbs back in bed getting comfortable behind you as he holds you. You turn around to meet your teary eyes to his.
"Why're you cryin', love?" He says concerned as he wipes away your tears.
"Heard what you said to our girl." Harry nods and smiles, kissing your forehead.
"Meant every word of it."
"I know.” You smile.
Harry then starts to tear up again, a few tears streaming down his face.
♫For when you're lonely, and forget who you are. ♫
"What's wrong?" You ask, confused with his sudden reaction.
"I-I'm just sad I got to miss out on your pregnancy. I missed out on watching you grow in front of my eyes.” He cuddles into your neck and you wrap your arms around him.
"Shh, shh. It's okay, baby. As long as your here now and forever, I'm happy."
"It's cause of my stupid job. It made me miss out on the preparation of everything. It takes up almost all my time and when I come home, everyone is already asleep. Plus, some of the shittiest articles are released about me, but they're not true... they're not." Harry frowns.
"Haz, don't call your job stupid. Yes, it makes you be away from us, but your job makes you do what you love. Those fans make it happen also. And I know the articles aren't true, baby, but fuck what they think. All that matters is what you think and I will always be here to remind you who you truly are if you forget. I'm here to support you through thick and thin."
♫I'm missing half of me, when we're apart. ♫
"I'm so grateful for you. I truly don't deserve you." Harry kisses your lips softly.
"Yes, you do. You deserve all the happiness and love in the world, and I'm happy I can be a huge part of that."
"It's just I feel so bad for being away for so long. You had to go through almost everything by yourself, and I wasn't there. I just wanted to come home to you so bad. It felt like my heart wasn't complete and I wasn't myself when you aren't right next to me."
♫Now you know me, for your eyes only. ♫
"But now you're here, baby. You're home and I couldn't be any happier you're here with us. Don't worry about all of that stuff, what matters to me in this very moment is that you're here where I can hold you, and that you're happy." You reassure him.
"I'm extremely happy." He smiles softly.
"So there you go! No need to feel bad about yourself or for me."
Harry nods in agreement. You smile and give a kiss to his forehead.
"You have my heart entirely. You're the only person who knows me inside and out, and I wouldn't want any other person who will treasure my heart like you do. You're made of gold and I have so much respect for the tenderness of your heart. I adore the amount of kindness you keep and I will forever value the words you speak, the way your mind thinks, and the way your body moves. You are an amazing human being, and as ironic my job makes me, I am for your eyes only."
say thanks to your moms (bio or not) for giving birth to you and tell her you love her!
this was something I wrote back in March as I was sitting in my developmental psych class
taking blurb requests for this! also taking other requests!
Hello my beloved Harries! I got so happy knowing you guys enjoyed Chapter 1. In fact, I never thought I’d get notes at all, but I did, along with some follows too!
Since my heart is so full and I got too excited for our Filipina heroine (YOU, Filipino Harries!) to capture Harry’s heart, here’s Chapter 2.
I hope you enjoy. Tell me what you think! <3
--
Harry woke up to the harsh rays of the late morning sun. He shuffles, only to feel slight pain on his lower back, having fallen asleep reclined on his head board. He scrunches up his face in discomfort from the beam of warmth and brightness directly onto his face.
Wait, morning?
Shit.
He had fallen asleep. He runs his hands under the sheets, desperately searching for his phone under the covers. He takes a quick glance on the screen.
9:30 AM
He quickly checks his e-mail for any commitments he’s probably late to, by now. Harry has always been a morning person, and his team knew that. He’d probably missed two to three engagements by now.
He scrolls through his notifications. 3 missed calls from Jeff. 1 missed call from Emma. A text from his mum. An Instagram notification.
“Instagram?” he wonders, in thought. “Since when did I…”
“OH.” He mumbles to himself.
He hurriedly clicks the notification. A message from a golden-skinned brunette, smiling, with a sunflower in hand.
“Harry?” the message says.
Harry, completely forgetting about the rest of the notifications calling for his immediate attention, types up an answer right away.
“Yeah, it’s me. I thought you forgot. Haha” he types, quickly pressing ‘Send’ with little thought.
“’Haha’? What the fuck was that for?” he says, in a moment of self-ridicule. As a person who always knew what to say, he was stumbling.
Lost in his thoughts for a bit, he hears a beep, and finds a reply from Y/N.
“Oh my god. How are you? It’s been ages!” she says, with a smiley Emoji.
Harry excitedly replies that he’s been well, although quite busy and desperate for a little peace.
The two of them continue happy exchanges as Harry went about his morning routine; making coffee, going to the local café for his usual protein-rich breakfast, and picking out what to wear for the day. For some reason, he was really happy to hear from her; after all, he had left school so abruptly and didn’t even get a chance at small talk with her, let alone a proper ‘goodbye’.
He enjoyed reading Y/N’s replies about her life after Sixth Form; how she left Holmes Chapel for London after having earned a scholarship to a private school in the city; how she returned to Manila for the University of the Philippines, graduating with a Journalism degree; how she found herself back in London after graduation to build a life for herself in a city she loved.
Harry smiled to himself. Of course, she would get that scholarship. He remembered how smart she was. He remembered how in awe of her he was every time she was able to solve those frightening math problems on the chalk board. He remembered how she let him copy off her History homework once, earning him an A that his mum had bragged about to the family for weeks. He chuckled at the memory.
Harry was busy typing a reply when he was cut short by a call from Jeff.
Visibly annoyed, Harry answers the call.
“Hey Harry.” Jeff’s voice boomed from the speaker. “Are you still home? We were supposed to have a meeting- “
“Cancel everything I have for the day, Jeff.” Harry says, firmly, a trace of annoyance in his tone.
“I’m ill.”
--
Harry smiled as his phone continues to beep, one after the other, notifications from Y/N’s messages filling up his screen. He opens their conversation thread, a hefty scroll by now, filled with updates on her life, and a few witty inserts from him.
After a lengthy discussion on Filipino food - with Y/N defending the concept of Isaw and Dinuguan to Harry, much to his amusement (“You guys eat black pudding! It’s the same thing!”)
As Harry giggled at the exchange, Y/N must have noticed he hasn’t been sharing much about himself (mostly because he had been enjoying her messages too much).
“How do you sing in front of thousands of people without shaking and throwing up?” she asked.
Harry smiled, partly because she’s now comfortable enough to ask him questions, and partly because now’s his chance to impress her.
“I just got used to it, I guess.” He typed. “It never gets easier, though.”
“You make it look so easy.” Reads her reply.
Harry was grinning to himself now. He was thinking up of tour stories to possibly impress her with, until he suddenly got caught up in another thought.
He found himself wondering how her voice sounded like. She was quiet for the most part back then, and he could barely remember the sound of her voice.
He paused from their conversation to take a look at the photos on her account. He remembered how small and precious she looked, and how she had always kept her long, dark hair in a braid.
He scrolls through her feed, tapping one photo after the other.
She was a far cry from the delicate girl he remembered so vaguely.
Her dark hair were now blonde and pink on the tips; she was no longer small - her womanly curves apparent in the knitted dresses she looked fond of wearing; a small, shiny silver star hung on the side of her nose; tattoos grazed the delicate tan skin that seemed to shine in the sunlight – a recurrent theme in her photos.
Harry felt this sudden urge to see her. He couldn’t explain why a small recurrence could affect him greatly, but he didn’t care. Y/N was a vague but beautiful memory – that didn’t really need to remain a memory.
“I hope you’re not too busy tonight.” Harry typed.
