#futurekid

I honestly don’t know what to do anymore. Why is it so hard to just settle down with someone. I like him, like a lot! I’m pretty sure he knows it. I just wish I knew what he was thinking. It’d be easier for me to know whether to move on or keep trying.

Hello world, hello CJ. 

I write this to you in hopes that one day when you’re wondering what life was like before you, this will give you a glimpse of how cool mom and dad were. ARE.

ONE, we wanted you, I wanted you, very much so. So much in fact that technically you were at our wedding. I do apologize for the alcohol consumption and the sushi that was ingested while you were a clump of cells. 

We are starting year TWO of the pandemic, or the panoramic, or the Panda Express right now and it is also dad’s last day at his old job. He’s nervous, but this new job pays enough so that when you pop out, he’ll be able to give you whatever you need. He’s so stressed. But I remind him that you love him lots. I can feel it. 

We’re still in this two bedroom apartment that’s about THREE blocks away from one of dad’s favorite breweries, Begyle. I’m sure every time we drive by the area, dad will mention it to you. 

You will be the FOURTH cousin in the series so far. Matilda, Ingrid and Chloe are super excited to meet you. Especially Aunt Steffi, Matilda and Iggy’s mom. So far she’s sent us 2 large boxes filled with cute clothes and snacks. 

This was Dad and I’s FIFTH Valentine’s Day together. Even though everything was shut down, it was perfect. We slept in and ordered breakfast sandwiches from Biscuit Man down the street. Dad made the trek in the 2 feet of snow that had fallen the night before. We watched “To All The Boys I Loved: Always and Forever” which dad surprisingly enjoyed. We then decorated some cookies that Ate Yasmine got us and had lasagna from one of our favorite places, All Together Now. Never forget that if they wanted to, they would. Don’t worry, we’ll make sure you know what that is like. 

There are SIX letters in your name, though while you were marinating in my belly we rarely used your full name. 

You have SEVEN aunts and uncles. 5 on dad’s side and 2 on mine. You’re named after your aunt and my aunt, and I’m guessing because you’re the same zodiac sign, you’ll be exactly like her. God help your dad. 

Our favorite Mexican restaurant is about EIGHT minutes away from the apartment. Far enough where dad would have to drive during these Chicago snowstorms but on a nice day we could walk. Dad and I used to get high and eat an entire burrito each. Then we’d sit on the couch and listen to music for hours. 

It was probably around NINE pm on a Monday when we took the pregnancy test the second time. We were leaving for our honeymoon that Thursday, which was Thanksgiving and I was worried I had caught COVID. Somehow the symptoms didn’t really line up. Dad jokingly says, what if you’re pregnant? You know dad has the worst jokes. 

You’ve been around maybe TEN  weeks when we found out you were gonna be coming into the world as a girl. I still think I have the voicemail that the doctor sent us. Since dad was not allowed to come to the doctor’s appointments with us because of COVID (pandemic), i made sure we were able to find out together. 

It was about ELEVEN degrees outside when we looked at our first potential home. Every time we looked at a house I imagined you running around it, growing up and creating memories that only you will get to exquisitely experience. Dad and I want you to have a better life than we did, dad especially. Just know that I vouched for you to have your own room but dad is convinced you’re fine sharing with your sibling.

It was about TWELVE weeks when I heard your heartbeat for the first time. Honestly, I wasn’t prepared for your little thumps to overwhelm me. Not that I didn’t know you existed, but at that point, you were working your little developed butt off to create bones and I couldn’t help but feel proud of you.

It’s about THIRTEEN steps from our bedroom to the bathroom. I think i counted one night when we had gotten up for the fourth time to pee in the middle of the night. Some nights when I can’t go back to sleep I think about what you’ll look like, will you have my black hair? Or your dad’s amazing gorgeous dark ginger hair?

You’ll probably learn of these when you’re about FOURTEEN because dad and I feel like that’s when you’ll be the angsy-est. ha. Just kidding. We hope we tell you we love you everyday enough that you’ll only hate us the minimal amount to get you through puberty. 

FIFTEEN was the number of chocolate muffins I’ve had during the first trimester of hanging out with you. Poor dad had to dump the remainder of the batch when I was over it. He was such a good sport though. 

There are about SIXTEEN boxes in our office that are wedding presents that we have no home for yet. We are looking at houses this week and hopefully we picked a good one for you. Dad wants to make sure you have enough space for you to grow and I’m just hoping its in a spot where you can run around safely.

It is the SEVENTEENth week that you’ve been around CJ and you’re literally what I think about all day and all night. Probably because I pee about the same number of times throughout the day. Dad and I talk about you all the time. What you’ll like, what you won’t like. How many times you’ve ordered around Uncle Jon. If you’ll like all the foods we like. Dad hopes you’ll enjoy all the movies he’s gonna make you watch with him. I just hope I don’t annoy you too much with Taylor Swift and video games. 

Until then,