#future drabbles

Aizen... Her fath--no... (Kisuke is her father, not him--Never him!!) He was in chains, sealed in the deepest prison that lay within the bowels of the Seireitei. It was impossible for him to reach them here.

So Kaiza did what she’d seen many of the other females do with their companions, and placed a comforting hand over Orihime’s own. “It is okay, Hime,” she said, using Tatsuki’s favored nickname, an action that appeared to have garnered a positive response if the relaxed posture was anything to go by, “You can tell me anything.”

Her smile was wane and she tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, “Um, well... you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to Kaiza-kun but...” and here Orihime bit her lip and their eyes met.

“Do...” she started, hesitant--licking her lip anxiously--then forged on in an almost desperate explosion, “Do you have feelings for Kurosaki-kun?!”

Kaiza blinked, hard.

“What.”

Orihime squeaked, her face flushing scarlet before scrunching her eyes shut and attempted to repeat the question, “D-do you have fee--!” But Kaiza slapped a hand over her mouth, cutting off the rest of the sentence.

“I heard you,” she grumbled, lips pulling into a frown as the female’s doe-like eyes blinked at her in confusion, “I just cannot parse your meaning. I am not familiar with your definition of ‘feelings’ outside the common description.”

“Oh.” Orihime breathed the moment Kaiza pulled away her hand--allowing her to speak, “Well ehm...” She fiddled with her fingers, poking them together a few times before her hooded eyes looked entreatingly into her own as she elaborated, “Romantic feelings... Kaiza-kun.”

“...Ah.” she grunted, leaning back while she mulled it over. Sure Ichigo and herself were close--comrades in arms typically were... But much of their relationship began with her need for a substantial energy source--A predator hunting suitable prey, which evolved into a more symbiotic affair once they reached an understanding. Orihime’s definition of ‘feelings’ wasn’t even a factor in this.

Right?

“Truthfully, I’ve never thought of it,” Kaiza admitted, resting her jaw against the palm of her hand, choosing to ignore that seed of doubt sprouting in the back of her mind. 

“Never?” Orihime wondered, eyes wide, and when Kaiza nodded in confirmation she huffed in disbelief, “But when you were... you know--” she trailed off, a scarlet flush creeping across her cheekbones, her eyes darting to the side shyly as she murmured, “When y-you fed on his energy--it was very... erm...”

“Sexual,” Kaiza offered flatly, to which the other female’s blush deepened, her nod almost mechanical with how stiff her head bobbed, “Those were simply the effects of my neurotoxin stimulating the dopamine receptors in Ichigo’s brain. He hardily would have been so willing to share his energy with me if he’d felt pain every time my fangs pierced his flesh, so the use of my venom was necessary.”

Orihime pouted, a frustrated sounding sigh escaping her. “That’s not... Kurosaki-kun wasn’t the only one affected, Kaiza-kun...”

Frowning, Kaiza narrowed her eyes at the dejected slouch of her companion’s shoulders. This conversation was taking an uncomfortable turn and she wasn’t sure how to address it... Who could she be talking about? she thought, while out loud she ordered stiffly, “Explain.” “Kaiza-kun...” Orihime entreated softly, her expression sad and her fingers soft as they clasped over her own, the spidery digits so fragile in comparison, “I’m talking about you. You were just as... as affected by the exchange as he was--”

But Kaiza shook her head and jerked her hands away like they’d been burned. Orihime was wrong. Nothing--She’d felt nothing when he ran his fingers through her hair. Felt nothing when he sighed into her ear, or when he held her close, shivering as she made use of his abundant energy source. The way he groaned when she raked her nails across his stomach and he gave her a nip on the neck in turn--

Nothing.

It was nothing.

It meant nothing.

“No.” Kaiza declared, finality in her tone and the hairs on nape of her neck standing on end, glaring into the other female’s startled eyes, “It was just a by-product... I have no such emotions.”

“That’s not true--”

“What is the point of this conversation,” she snapped, cutting off Orihime’s assertion and immediately regretting the flash of hurt on her companion’s face. That hadn’t been her intention. The female didn’t deserve her ire after everything she’d gone through... the Winter War had been a blow to the cheery human’s health in all respects. She needed careful care to soothe the traumas earned from her detainment.

Care that Kaiza was... woefully inept at.

She sighed.

“My apologies, Hime,” Kaiza murmured, ducking her head into a bow, a strange weight settling into her stomach, “That was thoughtless of me.”

The red-head disagreed apparently, her hair shifting back and forth as she shook her head. “No, it’s my fault, I shouldn’t have tried to force my perspective on you... You’ve been through a lot.”

Her meaning went unsaid, but they understood each other implicitly; both had suffered at the hands of Aizen’s manipulations in various ways.

“Please continue,” Kaiza said to break the silence, not liking the heavy atmosphere.

“Well... If you’re sure...” Orihime hedged, and at Kaiza’s acknowledging nod caught her bottom lip between her teeth again, a nervous tell if there’d ever been one, “I wanted to know because I... uhm--I...” she flushed and buried her face in a nearby pillow, squealing something unintelligible even to Kaiza’s excellent hearing.

“... I don’t understand muffled warbling, Hime,” she deadpanned, tilting her head around the table to get a better look at her companion’s face-planted form, “Please reiterate without stifling your speech.”

Orihime ineffectually kicked her feet and whined for a moment before turning just enough for her mouth to be visible. “I... I love Ichigo.”

Kaiza froze.

That was...

That wasn’t...

Something clenched in her chest and Kaiza ventured a hand to investigate the area, concerned that her Hollow hole was appearing again.

There was nothing. The flesh and hierro were both intact.

Her heart was pounding.

“Love?” she asked through the other female’s screeching excitement, her voice sounding distant, even to her own ears. Kaiza was--of course--familiar with the term, but it was never something that applied to her directly, for any definition.

Mother once said that she loved me.

Kaiza placed a hand over her red eye, fingering the jagged scar that nearly plucked out the organ. The final vestige of her Mother’s so-called “love.”

“Yeah! I wasn’t sure for the longest time,” Orihime continued shyly, picking at the fibers of the pillow she was now cradling, heedless of Kaiza’s darkening expression, “But I went to see him before... Before the war and...” Her face softened, a gentle smile curling its way across her lips.

It took a herculean effort not to bare her fangs, the abrupt rush of aggression blindsiding Kaiza with a depth that surprised her. She felt strange. Orihime was her companion, an integral part of their group that--while she wasn’t strong in the battle sense, her powers were useful in other ways. A key factor as to why she must be protected.

And yet...

Here she was, seriously considering the human a threat.

Why?

She rubbed at her chest, confused beyond measure. Kaiza was aware she had protective tendencies to those she considered... friends. But this--this felt different. Darker. Wrong.

Possessive.

Kaiza stifled a growl, schooling her expression to a blank slate and dropping her hand into her lap just in time for Orihime to meet her eyes again. I need to separate myself from this situation, she concluded, watching in interest as the female’s eyes warmed.

Before I separate her head from her shoulders.

“I suppose this is a cause for congratulations?” Kaiza inquired, somehow managing to keep her tone even.

Giggling, Orihime shook her head, expression brighter than it had been for weeks. “No. It’s really too early for that, I don’t--I really don’t think now’s the right time to tell him,” she confessed, brushing her fingers through the long strands of her hair.

“And besides,” she added, sending Kaiza a surreptitious look beneath her lashes, “I wanted to consider your feelings first. I won’t get in your way if you decide that you want to be with him.”

And just like that, a weight settled heavily on Kaiza’s chest, taking the breath right out of her lungs, her animosity vanishing like woodsmoke. That was... not what she’d been expecting--Orihime, willing to sacrifice her own feelings in the event that it would spare Kaiza’s.

And yet I... Kaiza thought, clenching a fist into the fabric of her pants. She didn’t deserve such concern. Orihime had no idea the dark thoughts that had been swirling in her mind mere moments ago--could never know. To think that she’d considered killing her own comrade over a flight of fancy, believing herself--pretending that she was a human with a right to feel.

To love.

No.

“That won’t be necessary,” she declared, digging her fingers into the meat of her thigh, redirecting the pain to something she could comprehend. Comply. “You are free to do as you wish, I have no vested interest on this subject.” 

For love has brought me nothing but pain.

“Are--are you sure?” Orihime asked, looking skeptical despite Kaiza’s firm nod, “What if you change your mind?”

“I won’t.” Kaiza stated, the heaviness in her chest growing with every word. The metallic scent of blood filling the air as she dug her nails deeper, piercing through her own hierro.