#futre_plan

It started in February 2014 when I got dumped for the first time in my life. I hit in sadness super hard, that I became stronger, harsher, tougher, more careful, trust-less and always scared but always ready for it. However, in the same year, I decided to kill all the emotions inside me and become rationally. I did it, to the extent that I reached a point which I never thought about, or even dreamed about.

Anyway, as usual, I was unlucky at all. I faced so many obstacles much more than my energy, much more than any teen could bear. but by that time (2015) was still weaker than 2014. and so I got to pass 2015 as well and changed all the bad luck to what I wanted.

2016 came and fucked me so hard that at times thought 2014 was nothing comparing to it. times, I wanted to go back to 2014 and handle that pain again instead. times, I was looking just for a small corner that I could hide myself in and cry, maybe tears could have helped me to pass. times, I got forced by my own emotions that I thought were dead, to do things that I never imagined my self-doing it. times, I was about to give UP.

Anyway, as time passed I start flying like a lovely bird in the sky of freedom, but in reality, I was just lost and trying to find the way. I seemed to be happy but I was dying inside, I was helping everyone who needed help, but I was in need of help more than anyone.

2017 I start becoming addicted to all the pain and hard path, I liked everything surrounding me. I start not feeling anything when I supposed to feel, I start becoming emotional when I shouldn’t be. I start choosing and doing all that I want in a painful way.