#furiouslightning

Once she has her father's attention though, it all shifts and she starts changing from "I want to be good for Spottedleaf!" to "I want to be good (read: bad) for Thistleclaw!" She also admired Mapleshade A LOT and thought she was sooo cool and, later into her apprenticeship, started wishing Maple was her real mom because Spotted was "too much trouble." She hated that cats thought she was "less" just because her mom was a med cat and her dad exiled. As a kit, she sort of understood what all the fuss was about and sympathized with her mother, but as Thistle was there to twist her mind, she started to care less and less about her mother's "tough life" because "Thistle had it just as tough and he loves me more!"

Thistle really enabled her to keep her "acting out for attention" mindset, because whenever she did bad things (ex.: clawing during training, being rough with her siblings, getting mad at Spotted/others), she got his praise. She felt justified and vindicated in taking her anger out on others. Surprisingly, this also started to twist her feelings towards Airpaw from one of "ugh he's so annoying i hate him leave me alone!" to "follow me because im so much better than you and you need me to be good at anything :)" (aka the exact same stuff Thistle was pulling with her).

she liked Firepaw because he was a "neutral" ground -- he followed Thistle and he was willing to play rough, meanwhile Air was too "weak," Copper was too "soft," and Creek was too "obedient" to be mean. she was enraptured with the idea of leading the clans with all her kin, and she was enamored with the prospect Thistle gave them.

she also HATED Speckletail and Frostfur. Frostfur, in her early moons, was too "bossy" and would always try and correct Lightning and Lightning would be like "UR NOT MY MOM," plus Frost would always huff about Lightning's bad attitude. Speckle tried to be a good mentor, but she was blinded by her prejudice against Lightning, already viewing her as a "helpless bad case," so they just butted heads way too much and Lightning felt vindicated disobeying her thanks to Thistle encouraging her to

she ran to RiverClan because she LOVED the attention she received there. needless to say, everything Lightningfur does is for attention. And those who give her attention that she deems weak/pitiful/lesser than her (Airleap, Robinstorm, Sedgecreek, etc.), she treats like sh*t because "what are they gonna do? hate me? they love me too much to hate me."

it's kind of why Silverstream was her best friend. in canon, Silverstream is kind of, well, spoiled and thinks she can get away with anything. she's not mean, but she's just as attention-driven as Lightningfur. The two bounced off each other immediately, giving the other attention, but there was also this... allure with Silverstream, who -- unlike Lightningfur, who had to fight and bite and kick and scream for her attention -- only had to sit pretty and get stuff handed to her thanks to her loving and doting overprotective father Crookedstar. Silverstream's attention felt extra good to Lightningfur, because Silverstream held this air of I'm Better Than You that Lightningfur desperately wanted to have as elegantly as her. Needless to say, Lightningfur's aroace lesbian *ss crushed hard on Silverstream but buried that part of her feelings far far deep down.

Silverstream's death f*cked Lightningfur up. They were untouchable, and yet, there Silverstream was, clearly Touched. (Though Lightningfur doesn't know it, somewhere in StarClan, Silverstream is thinking the same bitter thoughts.) Lightningfur couldn't imagine a life without Silverstream, and now she became a lot more... aggressive in her behavior. Genuinely cold. Before there was a since of "we do this together," there was something grounded Lightningfur, something for her to love and remember how to be compassionate in her own Lightningfur-y way. Now, it's gone, and Lightningfur doesn't have any remorse left in her to regret the actions she commits.

This Lightningfur, our current Lightningfur, has grown a coldness in her heart. It numbs her to feeling anything but rage and sadistic pleasure. That isn't to say she never expresses some kind of fondness (ex.: Featherpaw is Silverstream's look-a-like daughter and Lightningfur will do everything she can to protect "what's left of her"), but that any kindness that might go along with those inner feelings is gone.