#funployment

NY State Senator Marty Golden cancelled his "feminine presence" event today, an event designed to bolster a woman's career with activities like “sit, stand and walk like a model” and “walk up and down a stair elegantly.” I feel more employable already!

The "Polished Professional" event would have included lessons like...

Handshakes and introductions!

"Differences in American and Continental rules governing handshakes and introductions."

Posture, deportment and the feminine presence!

"Sit, stand and walk like a model. Walk up and down a stair elegantly."

Guys (all two of you) Ive got a problem. Im unemployed, but like reaaaaaaaaly unemployed. Like, I havent had a job since August. Now you might be thinking to yourself "but Erin, August was almost 8 months ago, how can you afford to pay rent and eat, and you know generally live?" Well that is an excellent question imaginary person, because frankly I cant. I took out a GIANT loan for school, that after doing some basic middle school math, I realized that I need to start making some moolah immediately or I will in fact have to live in a cardboard box in the streets of NYC. And not the good refrigerator double corrugated kind of box. No, this would be like a crappy microwave box.

So basically I have spent every waking moment for the last few weeks writing and sending cover letters to any job that I am remotely qualified for. This is, hands down, the most confidence smashing process I have gone through in a long time. And I had glasses, an overbite and wore stirrup pants in middle school. I dont know how many more "your application was received, but however at this time we are going a different way" emails I can get before I loose it and run screaming through the middle of Time Square (but honestly that would kind of be par for the course there and Im sure no one would notice)