#funny_status

I walk around like everything’s fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.

I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.

I’m sick of following my dreams, man. I’m just going to ask where they're going and hook up with ’me later.

If you want to be sure that you never forget your wife’s birthday, just try forgetting it once.

I’m sick of following my dreams, man. I’m just going to ask where they're going and hook up with ’me later.

Never follow anyone else’s path. Unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost and you see a path. Then by all means follow that path

My advice to you is get married: If you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.