#funny experience

Me:.... Green?? For my hair..?

Mother: yeah you were telling me how you wanted to dye your hair green.

Me:....oh.

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Now I’ve never been professionally massaged before, and my first time getting massaged was totally a laughable experience that I had while I was on my vacation in the Philippines. 

At first, I didn’t want to get massaged because I know I can’t lay still for an hour while some person is touching my body. plus, I was ticklish. When the lady asked me to take off my clothes, I was thinking if I should also take off my underwear, but I wasn’t sure about that. She didn’t specifically say to take off my clothes including my underwear, so I didn’t, just to be safe. If she wanted it to remove, I will do that, But I don’t want her to come into the room seeing me butt-ass naked, so I played it safe. Thankfully when she came in she didn't ask me to remove it. She did my arms and legs first, I’m not going to lie it did feel good. But when she starts massaging my back, I started to feel ticklish. I didn’t want to ruin the massage experience so I held my laughter and tried to not to move as much as I can. It was more of a torture than pleasure. Then she pulled down my boxers then started massaging my butt!!!! that caught me off guard, of course. I was being respectful and I let her do her job, I’m assuming that was part of the experience. but booooooy let me tell you, that felt so weird. I just couldn’t help but smile at that situation. Thank goodness I was laying down on my abdomen where she can’t see my face. The final part was my head, and for me, that was the best part of all. it just felt really good. I don’t know if it’s because I felt tortured and weirded out before the head massage part, but It really did feel nice. She then told me the session is over, then she just dipped. I didn’t even have the chance to tell her my thanks. She came back though with some ginseng tea. I thanked her and drank the tea she gave me. Instead of me getting relaxed because of that tea, it just made me have a headache. It tasted so bad!

So, my first story is going to take place back when I was in 6th grade. The teacher, who I’m going to refer to as Mrs. S, was our Arabic teacher.

So, for future reference, there are two Arabic classes, heritage and non-heritage. Basically those who came from Arabic speaking families were in heritage and their work was hard.

I, for some odd reason, was placed in Heritage. This was due to my parents being from Northern Africa. The issue, of course, is that when listening to Arabic from any North African country, you will find it so different, to the point were many Native Arabic speakers can’t understand!

And I made it very well known that I couldn’t understand a lot of the things, matter of fact (funny side story, another Arabic teacher (we will discuss her another time) was in absolute shock when she found out that, I, an Arabic speaker didn’t know the proper word for black. See where I’m from, we call it Khal, but in Arabic it was Aswad!) I had spoken to the school “Counselor” (another story) about how awful the class was.

So of course, as it was, Mrs. S finds out that people were not happy with her. So one day, we were suppose to have Physical Ed. instead of Arabic (the scheduling in this school is a whole other story), but the P.E teacher was unable to attend, so while non-heritage had their teacher taken outside, we were forced to have Arabic.

This is the part when all hell breaks loose. We had told Mrs. S about the fact that we were suppose to have P.E. Thats when she broke.

She began yelling at us, telling us that she knew that we were complaining about her and that if we had a problem we should have gone to her! Then she went down the line and pointed at each of us saying something or another.

This was a while back, so forgive me because I can’t remember what she said to everyone. But I remember her distinctly pointing at me and saying

“I don’t even know if you want to be in this class!”

Ok, wow.

But in all seriousness, she went out of line, she yelled at us the entire class, and when class was over we were all too scared to move from our seats.

The best part of all this was that she was yelling in Arabic, and I understood basically nothing. Yet she made it a point to speak English when she went down the line and pointed at us each.

If memory serves me correctly, she pointed at one student and said that they spoke too much and that they were annoying, or something to that extent.

No, but for real, if you’ve never been yelled at in Arabic, you wouldn’t understand. It’s like terrifying. See even though I couldn’t understand 90% of what came out her mouth, it was still scary!

-stopping at Safeway before work to pick up a few food items for the day

-*thinking about yogurt*

ALL THE LIGHTS TURN OFF

Everyone stops what they're doing and look around

The power is out

People awkwardly laugh as they bring up their phone flashlights

The emergency lights are on

It's clear this won't be fixed right away

People keep browsing, apparently the self check out is still working

I'm browsing the yogurts with my flashlight in the dim lights

The store radio comes back online