Draco: Harry, can you call my phone? I lost it somewhere around here, I think.

Harry: Sure *calls Draco*

Harry: Found it, wait… Why is the Caller ID “My Salt”

Draco: …

Harry: I’M NOT SALTY, DRACO!

Draco: …

Hermione: …

Even dense Ron: …

Pansy: …

Blase: …

Ginny: …

Minerva McGonagall: …

dead Snape: …

dead Voldy: …

The entire Hogwarts: …

Draco (again): *thinks* I'm not sure if I should be happy or not that, that’s the only thing he focused on…

Nearly Headless Nick: *sneaks in the 8th year mixed dorms*

Nearly Headless Nick: Teens all over the internet keep saying "Omg, I'm dying"...

Nearly Headless Nick: As a ghost, I find this extremely offensive.

8th year students who tries to sleep: *groans*

Draco: What is internet?

*symphony of groans*

Harry: Like I was in the ocean and he was desperate to drown me?

Pansy: *sweats* I wouldn't go that far-

Draco: Pretty much, scarface.

Harry: Too bad you can't swim.

Draco: Come again, Potty-shit? Bitch, you wanna go?

Harry, suddenly in the distance: You'll have to come in the watter first! Bring it on, you wanker!

Hermione: *groans*

Pansy: The funny thing is, Draco only agreed to come after I said Harry would be here.

Hermione, Ron, Blaise and Pansy: *all four look at Harry in his little-tight-at-the-ass red shorts*

Draco and Harry: *making mini tidal waves at each other*

Draco: *tries to grab Harry's swimming shorts and throw them away*

Draco: No! I can't risk losing anyone I care about!

Ron: *raises his hand with tired, annoyed look* I'll go

Draco: I miss him.

Draco: But I hate him.

Draco: But I like him. A lot.

Draco: And that’s a problem.

Pansy: Talk with him.

Pansy, Blaise and all the Slyderins: You can have my jac-

Rita Skeeter: chosen-one, you’re my life