Feb 14, 2021
max "my gf is only with me bc she cant crawl out from under me" parish ( sorry i HAD to get in on the fun ahahahs )
āĀ redās not trapped, i promise. sheās on top 95% of the time.Ā ā
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max "my gf is only with me bc she cant crawl out from under me" parish ( sorry i HAD to get in on the fun ahahahs )
āĀ redās not trapped, i promise. sheās on top 95% of the time.Ā ā
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šššššššš:Ā Ā " itās a helluva lot easier to accept what you are, in all your damaged glory, than to try and be someone youāre not. āĀ //Ā @fuckedoffā
āĀ Ā easier,Ā Ā isĀ Ā itĀ Ā ?? Ā āĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā freddieĀ Ā asksĀ Ā incredulously,Ā Ā eyebrowĀ Ā raisingĀ Ā asĀ Ā armsĀ Ā crossĀ Ā overĀ Ā hisĀ Ā chest,Ā Ā darkĀ Ā eyesĀ Ā searchingĀ Ā hisĀ Ā bestĀ Ā friendāsĀ Ā blueĀ Ā ones.Ā Ā aĀ Ā hintĀ Ā ofĀ Ā aĀ Ā smileĀ Ā lingersĀ Ā atĀ Ā theĀ Ā cornerĀ Ā ofĀ Ā lipsĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā butĀ Ā noĀ Ā humorĀ Ā isĀ Ā present. Ā Ā āĀ Ā howāsĀ Ā thatĀ Ā workingĀ Ā outĀ Ā forĀ Ā ya,Ā Ā cook?Ā Ā lastĀ Ā iĀ Ā heard,Ā Ā yourĀ Ā lifeāsĀ Ā aĀ Ā fuckināĀ Ā shitĀ Ā show,Ā Ā innit? Ā āĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā š·š°ššš· Ā Ā šš¾šš³š Ā Ā šššøšš“ Ā Ā šµš°š¼šøš»šøš°š Ā Ā šš¾ Ā Ā šµššøš“š½š³š»š Ā Ā š»šøšæš,Ā Ā aĀ Ā sighĀ Ā escapingĀ Ā himĀ Ā asĀ Ā heĀ Ā scratchesĀ Ā theĀ Ā backĀ Ā ofĀ Ā hisĀ Ā head. Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā iāmĀ Ā notĀ Ā likeĀ Ā you,Ā Ā cook.Ā Ā youĀ Ā gottaĀ Ā stopĀ Ā pretendingĀ Ā iĀ Ā am. Ā ā
@fuckedoffāĀ said:Ā Ā ā stop throwing stuff , what is wrong with you ?! ā
š šššš Ā š Ā šššššš, Ā šššš Ā ššš Ā šššššš Ā šš š Ā ššš Ā ššš, Ā šššš Ā ššš Ā ššššš Ā š ššš Ā ššš Ā ššššššš Ā ššššš,Ā Ā allĀ Ā Ā aimedĀ Ā Ā atĀ Ā Ā theĀ Ā Ā wallĀ Ā Ā behindĀ Ā Ā himĀ Ā Ā orĀ Ā Ā Ā theĀ Ā Ā Ā floor Ā Ā andĀ Ā Ā sheāsĀ Ā Ā justĀ Ā Ā pickedĀ Ā Ā upĀ Ā Ā theĀ Ā Ā lampĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā whenĀ Ā Ā hisĀ Ā Ā voiceĀ Ā Ā makesĀ Ā Ā herĀ Ā Ā stop,Ā Ā Ā eyesĀ Ā Ā narrowingĀ Ā Ā asĀ Ā Ā theĀ Ā Ā wordsĀ Ā Ā whatĀ Ā Ā isĀ Ā Ā wrongĀ Ā Ā withĀ Ā Ā youĀ Ā Ā ringĀ Ā Ā inĀ Ā Ā herĀ Ā Ā ears.Ā Ā Ā forĀ Ā Ā aĀ Ā Ā momentĀ Ā Ā sheĀ Ā Ā wantsĀ Ā Ā toĀ Ā Ā snapĀ Ā Ā atĀ Ā Ā himĀ Ā Ā but,Ā Ā Ā instead,Ā Ā Ā sheĀ Ā Ā exhalesĀ Ā Ā throughĀ Ā Ā herĀ Ā Ā nose,Ā Ā Ā loweringĀ Ā Ā theĀ Ā Ā lampĀ Ā Ā untilĀ Ā Ā itāsĀ Ā Ā setĀ Ā Ā backĀ Ā Ā downĀ Ā Ā andĀ Ā Ā sheĀ Ā Ā plopsĀ Ā Ā ontoĀ Ā Ā theĀ Ā Ā mattress. Ā Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā Ā okay,Ā Ā Ā iāmĀ Ā Ā done.Ā Ā Ā letāsĀ Ā Ā talkĀ Ā Ā likeĀ Ā Ā civilizedĀ Ā Ā Ā people. Ā Ā āĀ Ā
* cook Ā Ā Ā Ā /Ā
šššā Ā š šššššš ā ššššššš ā ššā Ā ššššššš ā ššš ā !ā Ā (ā Ā she ā wants ā toā Ā be ā setā Ā freeā .ā Ā setā Ā herā Ā freeā !ā Ā )ā she ā canā barelyā stand ā itā ;ā the ā dullā gray ā wallsā thatā encloseā herā ,ā theā wrinklyā old ā wankersā that ā goggleā atā herā asā ifā sheāsā aā pieceā ofā meatā withā legs ā .ā sheā searchesā forā aā reliefā , ā a ā familiarā oneā .ā theā onlyā thing ā sheā knowsā (ā Ā theā Ā onlyā Ā thingā Ā sheās ā good ā forā Ā )ā Ā .Ā
strobe ā lights ā strain ā piercing ā blue ā with ā its ā hypnoticā danceā , ā entrancing ā her ā ,ā enticing ā her ā toā giveā inā . ā she ā offersā herself ā up ā freelyā ,ā bodyā swaying ā toā aā rhythm ā unbeknownstā to ā the ā others ā ;ā one ā onlyā she ā can ā feel ā . ā wryā smileā buildsā on ā pale ā featuresā , ā sweetā release ā washing ā awayā the ā stains ā of ā normalcy ā that ā have ā captured ā her ā .ā herā few ā momentsā ofā pureā happiness ā ,ā however ā ,ā Ā areā goneā inā anā instantā ,ā replacedā byā a ā familiarā dread ā in ā the ā pitā of ā herā stomach ā .ā a ā ghost ā .ā aā ghostā ofā herā past ā .ā sheā doesnātā want ā toā lookā backā again ā , ā but ā sheāsā forcedā toā ,ā memoriesā ofā aā time ā buriedā long ā ago ā resurfacingā .Ā
ā ā cookā .ā ā ā her ā toneā isā decisiveā ,ā butā concealsā aā hintā of ā uncertainty ā , ā as ā ifā heāsā notā actuallyā there ā .ā āā thoughtā youā wereā in ā manchesterā ?ā āā
šššššš ššššššš ā ā @fuckedoffāā.
š'š ššššš šššš
Ā Ā ššššš ššš šš šššš šš š šĀ hadĀ toĀ apologiseĀ for.Ā Ā tooĀ muchĀ indeed.Ā Ā soĀ muchĀ soĀ sheĀ almostĀ wishedĀ itĀ wasĀ backĀ toĀ theĀ daysĀ sheĀ didnātĀ talk,Ā Ā atĀ leastĀ sheĀ wouldĀ haveĀ anĀ excuseĀ then.Ā Ā presentlyĀ though,Ā Ā thereĀ isĀ littleĀ sheĀ canĀ do,Ā Ā soĀ blueĀ huesĀ provideĀ theĀ firstĀ unspokenĀ apology.Ā Ā itĀ isĀ closelyĀ followedĀ byĀ herĀ handĀ joiningĀ hisĀ cheek,Ā Ā caressingĀ itĀ softlyĀ inĀ anĀ almostĀ uncharacteristicĀ nature.Ā Ā lastĀ butĀ notĀ leastĀ comeĀ herĀ lips,Ā Ā meetingĀ himĀ atĀ theĀ cornerĀ ofĀ hisĀ mouth,Ā Ā aĀ tearĀ fallingĀ asĀ soonĀ asĀ sheĀ doesĀ so.Ā Ā Ā ā Ā Ā iāmĀ sorryĀ . . .Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā Ā theĀ wordsĀ areĀ draggedĀ outĀ withĀ aĀ hintĀ ofĀ guilt.Ā Ā sheĀ couldĀ noĀ longerĀ runĀ andĀ passĀ theĀ blameĀ ontoĀ others.Ā Ā sheĀ hadĀ toĀ faceĀ himĀ andĀ hopeĀ forĀ theĀ best.
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fingersĀ wrappedĀ aroundĀ glass,Ā Ā Ā eyesĀ focusedĀ onĀ theĀ iceĀ thatĀ wasĀ currentlyĀ melting.Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā theĀ onlyĀ goodĀ thingĀ toĀ comeĀ fromĀ dingyĀ littleĀ barsĀ wasĀ theĀ freeĀ drinksĀ thatĀ cameĀ fromĀ aĀ simpleĀ tugĀ onĀ cornerĀ ofĀ lipsĀ andĀ batĀ ofĀ lashesĀ atĀ menĀ oldĀ enoughĀ toĀ beĀ herĀ father.Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā noĀ airĀ conĀ meantĀ hairĀ wasĀ constantlyĀ stickingĀ toĀ face,Ā Ā Ā elbowsĀ restingĀ onĀ topĀ ofĀ woodenĀ barĀ thatĀ sheĀ wasĀ sureĀ wasĀ coveredĀ inĀ splitĀ shots,Ā Ā Ā glossedĀ lipsĀ comeĀ toĀ drinkĀ inĀ aĀ frailĀ attemptĀ toĀ coolĀ down.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā bodyĀ turnsĀ onlyĀ slightlyĀ toĀ theĀ otherĀ asĀ theĀ contentĀ ofĀ herĀ glassĀ isĀ drained.Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā š®š¢šŗš£š¦ Ā šŖ'š® Ā š«š¶š“šµ Ā š“šµš¶š¤š¬ Ā šŖšÆ Ā šµš©š¦ Ā š±š¢š“šµ.Ā Ā Ā Ā nothing Ā good Ā ever Ā lasts. Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā ā
@fuckedoffāĀ Ā ā„Ā Ā Ā Ā : Ā Ā hate my gutsĀ , Ā Ā ššššššššš„.
ā iām sick to death of everyone telling me how strong i am ā for freds š
poetry starters. Ā Freddie
Ā Ā Ā When Cook spoke he was silent. The familiar quiet demeanor was by no means a sign of indifference or lack of care. It just meant he didnāt want to say the wrong thing or that he wanted to make room for whatever was on the otherās mind. Letting Cook speak his mind didnāt bother him, even the times when it was all bollocks. But when his silence was not enough he then nodded, a way of showing he had heard. It was difficult to understand his friend, but even now he still tried to. However, maybe he did understand this. In their childhood he had only ever witnessed a James Cook who had to be a fighter, but nobody had allowed him to break down and be vulnerable. A few times in his most drunken state had Freddie seen that side.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āSācause you always push and shove.ā Said in a soft tone, he didnāt mean anything bad by that. There were reasons for that kind of behaviour.
Freddie relaxed his back against the wall behind them, essentially making himself comfortable because he was fine with letting the conversation taking time. He turned his head and gaze to try and meet with the otherās.Ā āCould tellĀ āem to fuck off.ā A small smile made its way to his lips as his words were an attempt at cheering up his friend just a bit.Ā ā... What dāyou want to be?ā
my motto lately is kill your self