#fuckboymatingcall

Him: Hi.

Me: Hi, how are you?

Him: Good. U?

Me: Not too shabby thanks.

Him: So u dtf?

Me: What now?

Him: No next month, yes of course now!

Me: Nah.

Him: Y not?

Me: Because, for starters, I don't even know your name.

Him: Jim.

Me: Okay Jim well furthermore I don't just go and fuck random strangers I've spoken to for all of 5 mins tops. I like to get to know people before having sex with them.

Him: It's not having sex. It's fucking. Meeting up just 2 fuck. 2 ppl with the same desires. 2 meet, fuck, and go our seperate ways. Probly won't ever c u again. Probly won't even speak 2 u again. No d and m after we fuck. Just come over, fuck me hard, and go home.

Me: Well when you sell it like that, so well and articulately....

Him: What time u coming?

Me: With you? Never. Go try this shit on someone else cos I'm not buying it.

Him: Cunt.

Him: Hey sexy.

Me: Hey.

Him: What's doin'?

Me: Nothing much. You?

Him: Yeah not much here either. Aren't we fun ppl?

Me: Totally. Lives of the party even.

Him: But you could do something fun. ;)

Me: Ooooh the zoo? The aquarium? Eureka sky deck?

Him: Lol no.

Me: Then what fun thing can I do?

Him: Me.

*at this point I got a phone call from a friend*

Him: ?

Him: Hellooo?

Him: Anybody out there?

Him: Cocktease.

Him: Are you there?

Him: Fucking bitch.

Him: All you needed was to say no not be a rude bitch.

Him: Fuck I hate the chicks on here [oasis.]

*me returns to the chat and sees all these messages in the space of 8 and a bit minutes*

Me: Wow. I had a phone call ok!

Him: Oh.

Him: Sorry. So still up for fun?

Me: Yeah I'm going to go wash my hair.

Him: And shave that pussy?

Me: Why?

Him: I prefer that.

Me: Why should that matter when after my shower I'm doing housework?

Him: What?

Me: Yeah I decided it was more fun than you. You can't call me names and abuse me and think I'll sleep with you. Not that I would have anyways. Not that kinda girl. Maybe you would be better off on Tinder which is more a hookup app than dating.

Him: Fucking bitch.

Him: Hi A.

Me: Hi. How are you?

Him: Good. You?

Me: Pretty good thanks. :)

Him: Got any pix?

Me: Yeah but I tend to only show them once I've chatted for a bit. I'm shy.

Him: That doesn't work for me.

Me: ?

Him: I need to see your pix.

Me: I need to win tattslotto and become a multi millionaire but alas in life we don't always get what we want....

Him: NEED not want.

Me: Needs are things you cannot live comfortably without- food, water, clothes, a roof over you head etc. Wants are added bonuses. Like I want an iced coffee.

Him: Sorry but if you want me to continue chatting to you then you need to show me your pix. End of.

Me: 👋

Him: It's just I need to see that you aren't ugly before I waste time chatting to you. You could be fat, lol. And I'd like a full body shot not just face. Faces don't show if you are fat.

Me: Nah.