Old Text II Khai & Landon
Discord thread featuring: Khai & @davieslandon
Mentions: @romanbeckett. @ella-isms. @theharrykingston @aaronhart93
Where: Khai at his house and Landon at his.
When: Before Khai, Roman, and Jaycee’s break up.
Description: Landon and Khai discuss their make out session and talk about their feelings.
Trigger Warnings: abuse, car accident, murder, molestation
Landon
Hey this is awkward but basically i just wanted to say that I hope I didn't ruin anything
Malakhai
Don’t worry, you didn’t.
Landon
Ok good So you’ll go to Ro’s opening night right?
Malakhai
Of course You’ll be there right?
Landon
I’m glad Yeah I was planning on going
Malakhai
Good
Landon
Just wanted to check everyone was ok with that
Malakhai
Why wouldn’t we be?
Landon
Wasn’t sure After everything
Malakhai
Landon, of course we want you there
Landon
Thanks For being understanding
Malakhai
Always I hope we can still be friends
Landon
Of course we can I’m just sorry it had to happen like this
Malakhai
I’m not I regret hurting Roman. But I don’t regret what happened
Landon
You don’t?
Malakhai
Not at all
Landon
I thought you only did it to get to him
Malakhai
No, I wouldn’t do that to you I mean, sure the whole Aaron situation has me all messed up and confused. But, I like you.
Landon
I’m not sure what happened with Aaron but yeah I can confirm he’s not your biggest fan hah Didn’t think you’d do that to me but I was hearing so many things
Malakhai
Nothing happened. I guess I just got a little jealous I’m sorry, Landon.
Landon
I think we all got jealous at some point, it’s perfectly understandable Don’t be, I knew what I was doing and did it anyways
Malakhai
Can I ask why?
Landon
I like you...you’re good looking and you made me feel something I hadn’t felt in a really long time
Malakhai
I like you too. I’ve wanted to kiss you ever since that first day we met Can we maybe see each other before the opening?
Landon
Really? Yeah, I think that’s a good idea
Malakhai
Oh yeah, very much! Good, I do too.
Landon
You can come over if you want? I font think we should be seen together for now It will give the wrong impression
Malakhai
I’d like that, and I agree. But to be honest. I’m not sure I could keep my hands off you.
Landon
Tell me about it, I’m not sure I know how to do that But it’s a bad idea
Malakhai
Yeah it is But that doesn’t make me not want you
Landon
Roman would kill us. And he would be right.
Malakhai
Would he? You don’t belong to him anymore I’m not sure I do either
Landon
No but I got so pissed when Aaron did what he did with him because he’s my ex so he should be off limits to my friends So I can’t imagine if I did the same with his boyfriend Wait What??
Malakhai
I understand I just think, I need more. Or maybe less Idk
Landon
That’s not confusing at all
Malakhai
Haha right
Landon
If it counts for anything, Ro really does love you He’s told me many times
Malakhai
Yeah, I love him too Maybe that’s just not enough
Landon
What more could there be?
Malakhai
Commitment, Satisfaction, Fulfillment. I just want him to be happy and I feel like I’m holding him back
Landon
And you’re not getting that?
Malakhai
I am, I think maybe he isn’t
Landon
I don’t know...i think he’s happy and I think he’ll be less happy without you around
Malakhai
The thing is Landon I’m actually a pretty strong believer in monogamy Open relationships never work
Landon
I’m actually surprised I don’t disagree, but I’m confused as to how you ended up in an open relationship Don’t think I could ever do that
Malakhai
Love lol
It makes you do crAzy things I just wanted to be with him Any way I could
Landon
I get that I get that a lot actually But it’s never really the answer is it?
Malakhai
No, I guess it isn’t
Landon
I’m sorry, I think I managed to do the opposite of what I was aiming for
Malakhai
You didn’t do this babe I guess I’m just not that good at staying a little detached as I thought I was
Landon
Thanks but I don’t think we’d be here right now if I did what every ex should do and stayed away from him I guess not
Malakhai
Maybe not But it is what it is I get why you couldn’t stay away
Landon
We’re not the first people who couldn’t And we probably won’t be the last
Malakhai
Anyway... I just want to be the one someone wants for once If you know what I mean?
Landon
Yeah, I do The feeling like you’re the only one that matters
Malakhai
Yeah I’ve never had that
Landon
I thought I did once But I fucked it up so
Malakhai
How did you fuck it up?
Landon
I actually did it twice. First time I broke up with someone who really cared for me to be with someone I thought loved me more. The second time was after something happened to me...let’s just say they wanted to work on our relationship but I took the easy way out
Malakhai
I’m sorry What happened to you? You don’t have to tell me. But of course I’m curious
Landon
Oh, it’s fine I don’t mind talking about it I was driving and a van ran a red light and crashed into me. Was in the hospital for quite a while and when I woke up...I didn’t really remember everything.
Malakhai
Oh wow That’s... I couldn’t even imagine I’m glad you’re okay now
Landon
It wasn’t a nice time but it’s better now Slowly getting over it
Malakhai
Yeah, it’s not easy I know. I’m slowly getting over my ex as well.
Landon
Yeah? What happened? If you don’t mind talking about it
Malakhai
It was just a whole lot of crazy. I met her while dancing at the strip club. She was a pretty frequent client. Needless to say, we hooked up but kept our relationship open. She basically wanted me to herself while she did as she pleased. I thought maybe if I proposed she’d want me the way I wanted her. But I was wrong. She was already engaged to someone else behind my back. It kinda really fucked me up to be honest
Landon
Oh shit I can’t even imagine what that must have felt like I’m so sorry
Malakhai
It hurt, a lot. But I’m trying. I just figure, maybe I’m not worth that kinda love. Ya know? Even my dad told me so when I was younger. I just didn’t listen. So here I am again. Similar situation.
Landon
I think it’s more that we accept the love we think we deserve When in reality you’re worth so much more than that And your dad didn’t know what the fuck he was talking about
Malakhai
You’re probably right
Landon
Don’t mention it I just wish it was easier for you
Malakhai
Me too I’m just learning to accept it tho
Landon
I think maybe it’s all about making decisions And actually sticking to them
Malakhai
I wish it were that easy
Landon
Haha, I know right? I wish everything could be simple and straightforward
Malakhai
You and me both
But to be fair... I decided a long time ago I was gonna kill my step dad. But if I stuck to that, I’d be in prison right now lol
Landon
I’m glad you didn’t do that Not for him but you don’t deserve to go to jail
Malakhai
I feel like I was in jail my whole life It wouldn’t matter Especially after what he did to my sister and my mum. But that’s just... That’s my fault too
Landon
I’m so sorry you feel this way I don’t know what happened with your mum and sister But I’m sure you’re blaming yourself for more than you actually did
Malakhai
They died. Took their own lives. It was my fault Now my little half sister is going through the same shit and I just left her Just like I left my mum and sister Anyway.... it doesn’t matter I’m sorry You didn’t ask for this heaviness
Landon
It’s fine, we all need someone to vent to and I’m glad you feel you can trust me But it’s not your fault Whatever happened...it was their decision you couldn’t have done anything about it
Malakhai
I just feel like, maybe if I stayed it would have been different. Sure, I was getting beat and whatever and my mum didn’t believe me. But I could have been there for my sister.
Shit... look at me lol. I’m sorry I’m done.
Landon
You were being hurt and to top it off you weren’t supported, you did what you had to do to survive and no one can blame you for that No need to be sorry, it’s ok
Malakhai
I blame me. But, thank you for hearing me out. Really! We can talk about something else now
Landon
You’re welcome, I’m just a text away whenever you need me
Malakhai
I appreciate that I promise I don’t usually break down like this tho. I shouldn’t have
Landon
There’s nothing wrong with it Do you have any idea how many time I do that? Usually I’m drunk though which makes it even worse No filter whatsoever
Malakhai
Well, you are always welcome to hit me with no filter anytime Drunk or not
Landon
Haha you definitely don’t want to see that It’s a mess
Malakhai
It’s okay if you’re a mess. We can be a mess together. Besides, you’re a pretty good kisser when you’re drunk
Landon
That we can definitely be. So are you But I can’t kiss you through the phone if I’m texting you drunk
Malakhai
Haha no I guess not But I could always come over
Landon
Hmm you’re right you can do that
Malakhai
Then I could just hold you until the world stops spinning
Landon
And once it stops spinning?
Malakhai
I’ll kiss you again and we’ll melt into oblivion
Landon
That sounds good
Malakhai
It sounds good to me too.
Landon
I might just end up getting drunk on purpose if you keep talking like that
Malakhai
You don’t need to get drunk to convince me to cone over and make that happen
Landon
When I’m drunk I don’t feel as guilty though
Malakhai
Okay
Landon
Shit sorry I’m sorry Don’t feel bad please
Malakhai
It’s okay lol You’re just being honest
Landon
And an asshole I just don’t know what to do
Malakhai
You’re not an asshole I’m the asshole.
I’m the one with your ex.
Maybe I need to change that
Landon
We didn’t even know each other when you got together I’m the one who should really know his place.
And no. You’re not making decisions like that right now
Malakhai
Okay
Landon
Take some time to think about it You might think differently in the heat of the moment
