#frustratedatty

Completely forgot about this, again.

I'm in my last semester, hopefully nothing else goes wrong and I graduate on time. It would suck to have an extra sem just for a subject.

The past 4 years were... enlightening. Awe-inspiring. I have a renewed faith in God, with the tipping point being my Evid midterm and just having a cry session during worship service. Wild.

i think I've become a whole new person, with new flaws I need to work on, and some old ones that have yet to be fully addressed. It's so nice to recognize that our identities are ever-shifting, never truly encapsulated or boxed in.

Second year, first sem, mid-sem update! Most my subjects are recit-heavy and it’s burning me the fuck out. I broke up with my ex two months before the sem started too, so the mental health breakdowns came in waves and interfered with my class attendance. Thank God UP still has a no-fail policy, but I’m definitely exerting A LOT more effort now than compared to when I was still with my ex.

God, Criminal Procedure recits go on for at least half an hour. Property prof hates it when you’re reading notes. Sales is just hella stressful and hella random. Torts is the best recit class, but it still gives me anxiety.

Oh my god. It’s December. The semester is almost over. A lot of things have happened the past months. The universe has given me a chance to redeem myself (and my grades) by way of a natural disaster.

I have an estimate of three weeks to study everything from the beginning. Definitely not going to do this again next semester. I need to be more confident in myself.

I really forgot about this, didn’t I.

It’s the second week of UP law this week, and I’m absolutely terrified of my study habits. I don’t know if I can recall anything decent for recitation, of which I have yet to experience because I’m shit, and also RECITATIONS GO ON FOR SO LONG.

You have to be able to know a shit ton of details, but it’s just basically regurgitating the information from the readings and the cases.

The sheer volume of it is the problem, as well as unfamiliarity with the concepts involved, makes it so much harder to retain the ideas.

I’m trying to digest a case now, and I absolutely have no idea which information is relevant. I know it’s part of the learning curve, but holy shit. I hope I’m doing this right.

There’s 25 readings for my Consti class this coming week. That’s the class I’m most terrified of. But now, the other subjects are gaining traction, and I have a newfound respect for people who finish law school.

It’s February!!!

Not gonna lie, I’m not yet confident in my exam skills. Especially math. Especially.... everything lol jk I think I just need to take more practice tests. I got my exam permit from Ateneo and just my luck, I get scheduled for THE VERY FIRST EXAM DATE (February 15).

I’ll get through this, I must. “What would you do if you knew you could not fail?” will be my blind, uplifting mantra when my insecurities and self-doubt try to prick at my already deflated ego. I’m sick and tired of letting myself be this complacent in my mediocrity.

Push yourself, Emmy. For a child who was sure she was meant for great things, you’ve become awfully docile.