#frozensai

Okay, I haven’t been to sleep for a while, and I know no one’s gonna read this so… fuck it. Let’s try and doe this! XD

If any of you know me from Loverslab and have been following my posts, you may know some of this. Anyway, as you all know I’ve got a bunch of characters. In fact I have too many. Most of them don’t know about me (canonically in the universe I’m shaping for my Skyrim), however there are a few that do. The ones that do include: Niyleen, Lucari, Sai, Madina, Ruby, Blazingsai, Trineiya, Frozensai, Kaz, Zamira, Corea, Niyata (who was supposed to have her own story that was supposed to feature various followers that people had created) and Dagger; Aelfna used to know but since I modified her backstory…  she doesn’t. :\

Now then here’s the issue. When out of canon, most of my characters like me (mainly because I don’t bother them all that much). However, of those that know me within the canon:

1. Only Blazingsai, Frozensai, Kaz, Niyata, and Corea like me.

2. Niyleen, Lucari, and Zamira are neutral

Niyleen will only bother with me if there’s money involved

Lucari will only bother with me if there’s nudes of Niyleen involved

Zamira will only bother with me if I tip her well and let her sing… and buy skooma from her when she has it -_-

3. The rest of them without a doubt hate me.

Trineiya and Dagger hate me because they can see that I’m using them (and everyone else) like puppets and putting them out there for the world to see without permission

Sai (my first personification, avatar, representation, whatever you want to call it) hates me because she found out that not only was I using her like a doll, but that her entire life up to that point was a lie and had been fabricated; within the canon because, as you all know, none of these characters are real people and thus they ALL have made up lives, but Sai’s was made up with that made up world (hope that makes sense).

Madina hates me because Sai hates me, and she’ll stop at nothing to make sure I don’t cause harm to Sai again.

This is where the Prisoner (Lydete) comes into play.

I decided to make a set with a newly formed character a WHILE ago; way before probably half of the characters I tweaked were a thing. It was kinda NSFW and featured (in order): imprisonment, rape (via skeever, spider, draugr, demonic child looking thing, dog, riekling), licking (via dog, elf, and horker), and 4P (with draugr) (not my normal kind of content on either site). She was a nameless character with no background, no purpose, just to serve as a short but fleeting bit of eye candy for my loverslab peeps. She was essentially a doll and I literally was playing dress up with her during each scene (like I’m doing still...).

When I got to the spider stuff I realized… I didn’t want to do this anymore (that specific set). But at the same time, I didn’t want to just throw away this character. That’s when I got the idea of having a character represent all of the characters, ideas, and whatnot that I am either simply not using, were turned into one offs or have scraped. This is how Lydete was formed. To understand why she hates me, you’d have to understand that I’ve written a lot for Skyrim, other games, and some personal stuff as well. I’ve started writing numerous stories, from when I was in the 6th grade in 2001 to now and have tossed so many of them or put them on ‘hiatus.’ I’ve been writing stuff for 15 years. That’s 15 years’ worth of untold stories, forgotten characters, unwritten plots, and undeveloped worlds…

It’s because when I have an idea… I’ve just got to put it down and this can mean I can get stuck on something for like days or weeks at a time… and then go on to the next thing (or nothing sometimes…). Want to know why my cast of characters is so large? It’s because whenever I get an idea about an archetype that I haven’t done, I make a new character. Now can some of these characters be mixed with others? Sure. However, only their base concepts can be. I’ve got plenty of warriors, but I can’t just mash them all into say, Niyleen. Niyleen’s so flashy in the way that she does things, so curt when it comes to money, so conflicted with so many things, and kind of jaded that if I tried to fuse her with… let’s say Arnora it wouldn’t work out. And it’s not just that.

I’ve breathed life into all of these characters, so much so that it begs the question of, if I’ve got this many characters (and a couple I haven’t decided to do the ‘Tweaking the Cast’ thing for) then how many more rejected characters do I have (and answer is a lot)? Not only that, with my big ass cast, there’s also a huge disparity when it comes to who’s being featured and the content that surrounds them. I COULD tell the story of them all, but why? Some are more important (to the world I’ve made up), more interesting (to me and others), and thus you see me kind of only have a few stories that I write about.

Would I love to detail Nyleine’s life and how she went from a simple clone, to master necromancer, no puppeteer, to lich, to the best necromancer of her time, to a sis-con? Sure. But it would be way too long, not THAT important in the grand scheme of things, and no one gives a damn about her enough to do it. It’s why I don’t tell Sorerica’s story. Although she’s the Dragonborn, she’s too caught up in the Civil War to be the focus of anything until Niyleen’s shit is over. Otherwise I’d keep having to revert to the beginning and I’m NOT about to do that. It’s why I don’t tell the Syliel’s story of an older sister by mere minutes heaving to become both provider and caretaker for her younger sister whilst having to deal with the harshness of Skyrim, being a kid herself, and the allure of the Forsworn that tears a family apart that’s only been hanging on by threads…

Lydete is supposed to encompass all of that hate that I actually have for myself for not finishing anything, but within the context of the story, her hatred for me stems from me literally having her physically go through all that crap WHILE playing dress up with her, and then retconning all of it to simply have been a fictional ‘story’ she was telling; I did all of that without resetting her memories. This ends up allowing Lydete from the jump realize that there’s something up with the world and after telling having told her story, she realizes exactly what had happened to her; that she was nothing more than a marionette.

She wanted to enact change (mainly for herself, but if other’s benefited from her actions that wasn’t a problem). Lydete believed that the best way about doing so was to beat/defeat/kill Blazingsai and Sai (at the time), therefore making me create a ‘real’ avatar that if defeated would make me relinquish my hold over Skyrim and Tamriel (in my world/story). So from the moment I she debuted on November 29. 2014 until now, she’s been tracking me down, whereas I’ve been avoiding her like the plague.

Since I’ve been avoiding her there haven’t been any pictures of her (because if I knew where she was in order to send Kyte out to her, that would mean she would be one step closer to finding me. With that being the case, why would I send Frozensai after her now? I needed information, intelligence. Frozensai knows that she’s just another piece in this game, my piece (as does Blazingsai). The only difference is that Frozensai believes that she’s special, an irreplaceable piece. This mission I sent her on was more or less a way to remove that naivety and hubris from her. If she still doesn’t understand… then that’s on her.

ALSO, if Lydete was ever to know any of this… well, you know…Something about intensifying anger and Oblivion.