#fromthesix

Ok, so today is the day of the second migraine, but as before, I don’t really know how to pull out 300+ words from the chosen topic. That being said, I thought I’d go into my so far endgame/dream in life.

For years and years since I was 3 (yes I can remember that far back), I wanted to play in the NBA specifically. In all honesty I can’t remember why. Maybe being a young, poor, black kid from scarborough had something to do with it. I worked really hard at it by myself, in between playing make believe until, around grade 7 when I joined my first team. We didn’t have the money before to do so, but this coach allowed my mom pay in parts. It soon dawned on me that I was very underdeveloped as a player compared to these other guys who were playing on teams for years. My 1 on 1 abilities were pretty good, but I couldn’t compete well in a team setting. Pains of being ridiculously introverted. On top of that i played without my (much needed glasses) for years. Not making any excuses, my progress was always limited because although I really enjoyed the sport, I struggled mentally to get myself to practice in the off seasons. So I always came back every years, out of shape and lacking certain things that made me so good during the season. “Snakes and Ladders”. I stopped playing on non-school teams around grade 11-12 because, I couldn’t afford it anymore. My mom had a change of jobs and I had to start working at a crummy pizza store.

There was a point in my late high school life where I had no goals. Yes I was still interested in basketball, but gradually with the help of a teacher work to rule/strike in the winter/fall of 2012/2013, I sort of forced my love of the game away. I didn’t enjoy losing at something I loved anymore and I lost the urge to push forward past all that “failure”. so it was either “quit” or struggle through that even longer, which couldn’t do clearly. I started switching my focus to various different “realistic careers”, though none really held my attention for long. It was around this time that I started thinking about just getting a well paying job so I could start caring for my family (who were going through dry economic spells at that point). The loss of a dream and change of social space, from school to work, really put me in a dark place.

Thankfully after I managed to find a local free youth psychologist office who helped me get back on track, helping remember a key thing. All through my life there have been 2 things that could make me smile happily no matter what: Basketball, watching, playing or reading about and stories, whether that be reading, watching or writing. So I started writing again. I realized that just like with basketball, I could get into a zone, a special place where the world is forever going your way. I mostly write fiction, but I’m working on my non-fiction essay style writing. I will put in the work to do that because, I really do want to succeed at this. In the near future I’ll be adding my wattpad account to my twitter or tumblr page to allow you (if anyone but my prof even reads my page) all, to see some of my writing. Oh ya if it wasn’t obvious, my goal/dream job right now is to become a great author. #SpreadTheWord.

This brings me to my point. You can always slump around when things don’t work out; or you could look deep down and find a piece of gold that was always there, but never used. Hope this wasn’t a “rant”, but I’m still working on my structure in my writing

Advice for guy: Don’t wear track pants to a first date, wait until she thinks you’re the one.

Advice for women: Winter is coming, don’t go out in a thin crop top and a leather coat and complain about the cold.

Films: Comet with Emmy Rossum and Justin Long