#frommypages

As a designer in the process of the exploring my curiosity and a person trying to make ends meet, I dedicate much of my time to altering clothing for people. It can be a fun job because of the challenges that it come with it, as well as, become the culprit to my insanity because of the challenges that it can come with. I have been sitting at a sewing machine for a couple of weeks now, working on some alterations for clientele, meeting deadlines, and scheduling fittings. I love what I do and I always try to indulge in the full pitcher of lemonade that it can become.

For the most part my job is best practiced with an open mind and an unguarded ego. However when working on alterations I find that I am in a different state of mind, I almost have to curve my creative self and turn up the practical side of my brain. It’s no longer about putting my creative touch into a piece of fabric, but it becomes more about respecting someone else’s creative force behind the design, all the while, making the client happy with the fit.

With this past week of alterations and sewing, I couldn’t help but feel completely exhausted and off balance. It has been a little confusing to me because I felt proud of my accomplishments this week, but the tension that was building up was not all consistent to the reflections of a successful week. While making the final touches on my last pieces of clothing, I felt a sudden need to stop and stretch out the heaviness that my body was currently housing. I suddenly tuned into myself and realized, I had become so consumed with work and meeting deadlines, that I could not really recall the last time I practiced my affirmations or meditations. It was as if my body was talking to me all of a sudden, because all of my tension started to melt away with each haphazard movement.

Most of the time, I am in this intuitive state of mind that allows me to flow and reflect on my intentions with ease, but when I am in the weeds with work, out of bad habit, I shelf the self and become somewhat of a sewing robot. My sewing machine…it is a relaxing place that can bring me a lot of peace. However, sometimes I find myself getting hypnotized by the process, and I think somewhere along the way my thoughts get tangled up in the thread. This is where my yoga and meditation practices come in handy, that is, if I haven’t excused myself from practicing.

So this week, I am focusing on getting back to paving this path, and hopefully figuring out a flow that allows my brain to transition modes a little smoother. I took this weekend off and revitalized my mind and reset my intentions. I think it was exactly what my mind, body, and soul needed because I stretched and moved my body literally all weekend. I feel so rejuvenated and ready to continue the journey. So I will respect all of my practices and make the time.  I will stray from the word routine, I will set mindful self-intentions as I give myself to the current of each day.

It’s so funny because every single time that I leave my machine, I feel as if I discover a new layer of myself. I always say that everyday should bring the gift of new knowledge. If not, you’re sleeping too much. I try to utilize all of the knowledge that life has taught me up to this point, but when it is something new about myself, I try to receive the gift with the grace of acceptance. The better knowledge we have of the self, then the less critical we will be of ourselves, and the less judgment we will reflect on to the world. Knowledge is power, but acceptance of knowledge is an even greater power.

Ready to learn, ready to move,

S.D

Gazing out of the dirty window of the city bus ,she inhaled. She had grown tired of her everyday routine that was once  her daily adventure to work. She began to look around the bus at all the familiar faces. The old man on his way to his chess game in the park, the middle aged business woman whom seem to be content with life if it weren't for the frown lines that tiredly danced around her eyes. The foreign lady with the striking silver hair on her way to prayer, the same kids, the same voices, same route and the same scene. She was exhausted. She began aggressively pulling her book out of her purse when she felt her space being invaded. There was no physical contact ,no words just a feeling. Her heart began to beat rapidly as she threw her body back in to the chair trying to shake the feeling and find comfort. Outta her peripheral she noticed a smile. Slowly gazing over she locked eyes with her. Her body began to heat up and her heart once again fluttering. She smiled nervously at the stranger sitting across from her. Her breathing became shallow as she noticed the pink full lips of the lady stranger mouth 'come here.' Uncertain but strangly drawn..she removed herself from her seat to take the vacant seat next to her stranger. All the while moving she notice the stranger never took her eyes off of her ..nor she the stranger. She slowly sits down ,eyes still locked. They smile. She inhales and takes in the beautiful scent of the stranger...it does something to the tulips between her thighs.