#fromjackson

Jackson.

It seems now that every monster knows Holt and me are the "same" person/monster. I don't get hassled as much for being a "normie." Not that it makes any difference to Manny Taur since he pretty much wants to bully down on any creature who's smaller than he is. When he first started picking on me, I stood up to him cause once a bully knows he can push you around, he'll never stop, but Deuce finally took me aside and said, "Listen, bro--you've won a lot of respect standing up to Manny and don't take this the wrong way but..." Apparently, Manny was waiting for the right time to mash me like a slow matador. I kept waiting for it to happen, but it never did. In fact, it seemed like Manny was purposely avoiding me for some reason. It was almost like some monster had said something to him. (Yeah--wonder who that could have been?) HH

Headless Headmistress Bloodgood asked for "volunteers" to help with the middle school carnival fundraiser, so Deuce and I volunteered for set up and take down duty. It was cool, and we didn't have to dress up as clowns or sit in the dunk tank. We set up tents, carried boxes, then hung out and waited for everything to be over. We checked out some of the other booths, too, cause we had plenty of time to kill. Venus and Draculaura were doing face painting; Rochelle was teaching monsters how to build sandcastles, some of which would have looked pretty good if they hadn't been built next to Rochelle's sand cathedral with a working bell tower and miniature gargoyles. The best, though, was the stunt Robecca performed. She flew over the carnival a couple of times to get every monster's attention, then flew straight up until it sounded like her rocket boots stalled, and she came streaking back toward the ground like a falling star. A huge gasp went up from the crowd as it looked like she was going to crash, then she fired her rockets back up and totally buzzed the crowd less than 20 feet off the ground! It was so awesome I actually gave Holt a chance to see her second performance. (Thanks, dude--it was totally rockin', and I would have been bummed if I didn't get to see it) HH When the carnival was over, we helped take everything down, and all the volunteers went to hang out at the Coffin Bean. It was dark by then, and I would have missed out on that part of the fun if things were the same as they used to be. Still hoping I won't have to give up showers someday, though. (That makes both of us "Stinky") HH

So I had my appointment with Mr. D'eath today, and it started out about as terrible as I thought it was going to be. Turns out he'd never counseled a "normie," and it seemed like he didn't know exactly what to say. In fact, he mostly just spent a lot of time squeezing one of those stress balls made to look like a cartoon character with eyes that bugged out when you squeezed it. It was pretty distracting, especially when I realized it was a cartoon "normie." The squeezing wasn't nearly as distracting as his "throat-clearing," which kind of sounded like a handful of marbles being run through a garbage disposal. I kept trying to figure out how he made that noise because he doesn't even really have a throat since, as far as I can tell, he's pure skeleton. He must have flipped through my permanent record ten times before he finally said: So you see Hackson, I mean Jackson, the career opportunities for normies in the monster world are somewhat er... um... (sound of marbles being run through the disposal again) limited. There's Monster Hunter, Monster Hunter's Assistant, Mad Scientist, ooh hunchback! You don't happen to have a hump, do you? No? Bad luck there, then. Ah hah! How about Monster/Normie Relations Expert? (Figured it'd be something where the wardrobe is even less cool than what you wear now) HH Well, that was something I certainly knew a little something about. I had an old coach back in the normie world that used to always say, "Play to your strengths Jackson, play to your strengths." So Mr. D'eath loaded me down with college brochures and rushed me out of his office. I think both of us were glad it was over.

It seems like I spent the first part of my life wishing I was a monster, and now that I am, maybe now I wish I wasn't. (Well, you're stuck with it now) HH When I was spending all that time trying to get Draculaura to bite me so I could become a vampire, I never really thought about anything except wanting to fit in with all the other monsters. Now the part of me that fits in doesn't even get to enjoy it. (Whine much?) HH It's like the worst of both worlds, and now I don't fit in anywhere at all. We're all supposed to meet with Mr. D'eath, the school guidance counselor, this week. Wonder if I'll need to make two appointments. (Lame--I already know what I'm going to be ... FAMOUS!) HH

Finally took that test my mad pediatrician set up for me. It turned out to be a test to determine the type and volume of music that brings out Holt. So I sat in a soundproof booth wearing headphones while a technician played music at different volumes and with different time signatures. I made it through waltzes, marches, polka, and chamber music, but I don't remember what he played next. (That's when he started playing the good stuff) HH Anyway, the results of the test isolated the trigger; music with a 4/4 time signature played in excess of 90 decibels. You know what's good about this? Me neither.

(Ooh--sarcasm. I like it.) HH

(Not unless you want your new nickname to be "Stinky") HH