Nyota regrets each and every choice that led her here. Â Agreeing to go to the gym with Gaila well past the hour thatâd be sensible to be out, agreeing to go in the middle of a rainstorm, and agreeing to then wait for the Academy shuttle to take them back to their dorm instead of the bus like sensible people.
And then, because apparently a perfect GPA doesnât exactly make her a genius, agreeing to get back to their room by herself when Gaila spotted a far better option for how to spend the rest of her night - and handing over her coat when Gaila was cold.
Now, Nyota is freezing. Â And the bus stop is too far away to bother walking to now, and sheâs about to go back to an empty dorm room and finish the absolutely longest paper sheâs ever had to or ever will have to write.
Which, come to think of it, is probably Gailaâs fault as well, for convincing her to take a class with Commander-How-Much-Homework-Can-I-Force-Cadets-To-Do-Spock.
And, to top it all off, Nyotaâs not exactly alone at the shuttle stop and the fact that the man waiting with her is gorgeous is only making tonight worse and reminding her of all the ways in which her class with Commander Spock is ruining any and all attempts at a social life she might have actually have liked to have this semester since she thought it was a good idea - somehow - to take Theoretical Semantics.
Or, well, heâs gorgeous from the back at least. Â And heâs smart enough to have brought a jacket with a hood, so thatâs some extra points for him, especially combined with how his pants fit him.
It starts raining harder. Â Because the Academy just has to be in San Francisco with the planetâs most wonderful weather and because Nyota just has to be out tonight and because apparently this evening wasnât quite miserable enough.
She shuts her eyes. Â When she opens them, sheâs going to be in her room. Â With her paper finished. Â And the man next to her will have slipped her his comm number with a handsome smile that is every equivalent to the way his shoulders fill out his jacket.
Except that when she does open them, itâs still raining and itâs Commander Spock standing there. Â Looking at her.
Nyota blinks.
Because heâs not⌠thereâs no way thatâŚ
She clears her throat. Â âSir.â
He nods. Â âCadet.â
And then he turns around again, back to his study of the street that had facilitated her study of him and -
She looks away. Â Squints out at the rain and categorically refuses to even so much as glance back at him again.
Or his pants.  Because⌠No.  Just no. Â
Fifty required sources, seventy five percent of their grade, the topics only assigned last week - he is by far the most frustrating professor Nyotaâs had, which considering the faculty at the Academy is really saying something.
And heâs not even - the way his jacket now - heâs so lanky. Â Gangly - gawky, even - in his uniform. Â And awkward so much of the time, standing up at the front of the room by the lectern. Â Also boring as anything, which Nyota has found amazing all semester because heâs somehow made even xenopolysemic morphemes dull and tedious, and she loves them.
Or loved them until Commander Spock put them up on his lecture slides and now she spends his classes wondering how the clock can move so slowly.
He turns towards her again and she can once again clearly see that angle of his chin and upswept brows that the edge of his hood hid. Â
His lips purse and then smooth again and he says, âBeing prepared for the weather would be logical, Cadet.â
Obviously. Â She presses her own mouth together before she says, âIâm aware, Commander. Â I lent my jacket to my friend.â
Since she had thought that the shuttle would be along on its normal schedule and that it wouldnât rain this hard and that the t-shirt she had worn to the gym would be fine enough for her short wait - and that of everyone, Commander Spock wouldnât be here, interrupting an already lovely evening.
Heâs still just watching her. Â And really, itâd be more than fine if he stopped.
Which he only does to bend down to the bag at his feet. Â Quickly, he unzips it, pulls something out, and holds it out to her.
A sweatshirt. Â One of the Academy ones with a Starfleet crest on the back and another over the left chest, one of the very ones that Nyota has the same of, hanging warm and dry in her closet in her room, that she would have been smart to bring with her. Â Or make Gaila bring, so that Nyota could have her own coat and wouldnât be standing here trying to decide if she isnât just too proud - and if this isnât just too weird - to reach out and take it from him.
She is so, so cold.
âThanks,â she finally says.
Itâs warm.  And it smells good.  Which is⌠not something she particularly cares to think about all too closely, but whatever soap he uses is really rather nice.
Or shaving cream, maybe. Â Aftershave.
Something, certainly.
She tucks her hands up inside the too long sleeves and tries not to think about it. Â The sweatshirt, the smell of his whatever it is, the fact theyâre here alone, the fact heâs here at all - none of it.
It works only until the shuttle arrives.
Itâs packed. Â Which goes a long way to explaining how it could be so late, though does nothing to ease the headache tonight is causing.
And it doesnât stop. Â They get a wave that is likely supposed to be apologetic from the driver and the shuttle splashes past them.
Well. Â This could probably be worse. Â Somehow.
Another shuttle will come by in twenty five minutes. Â And the bus - a fifteen minute walk away - runs far more often. Â Or thereâs just heading home from here, a longer walk in the rain than Nyota particularly wants to suffer through, but that paperâs waiting for her and Commander Spock, silent and still as he watches the taillights of the shuttle fade down the street, is only reminding her that she has entirely too much of it left to write.
She turns to him. Â âHave a nice-
âI am intending to-â
She stops and he stops and itâs the worst sort of staring match between them.
She clears her throat and gives him a sort of half wave that is only the more awkward for her hand still being tucked in her - his - sleeve.
âSorry. Â Sir. Â Go ahead.â
âI had thought to get an air cab,â he says.
She nods. Â âOk.â
âIf you are also returning to campus?â
Oh. Â Well, she is. Â She stares up at him, debating.
âYou are welcome to join me,â he says into the silence and she nods too quickly.
âNo, I-â Â Know that. Â Clearly. Â From what he had said already, which maybe isnât all that clear to him. Â Thereâs something stony about his expression.
Which leaves her with the choice to walk home or wait here and see him in class tomorrow with that much less time to finish his paper, or endure a too-long ride with him next to her in the cab and still see him in class tomorrow. Â Which really, given the lackluster lecture sheâll have to sit through either way, sounds a lot like a lose-lose.
Though one option has her thawing out her toes that much sooner, so she nods.
âThanks,â she says and clears her throat and pulls the sleeves down further over her hands.
His sweatshirt still smells nice.
When the cab comes, he holds the door open for her and then settles next to her, his bag by his feet and his hands folded in his lap. Â He even tugs his hood down, raindrops scattering over his shoulders and at least he looks far more like the officer sheâs used to like this, his profile stern and austere as streetlights pass by outside the window.
Then, he turns to her. Â âHow are you enjoying your semester?â
âOh.â Â She nods. Â âFine, thank you.â Â
It takes her a moment - itâs so odd with him here, his long legs folded up, only the space of the cab between them, none of the distraction of rain pouring down, the other students in the lecture hall, the cram of the turbolift the few times sheâs run into him on it, other cadets and officers packed in around them. Â No, this is entirely too quiet for her to think clearly so only after a long pause she gets out, âAnd yourself?â
âAcceptable.â Â He brushes at spots of rain on his pant leg. Â âDo you know what classes you intend to take next semester?â
âIntro to Celestial Navigation,â she says. Â âProbably that first contact practicum? Â The one that Lieutenant Calder is teaching. Â And Advanced Morphology, and probably Xenoetymology, if I can get into it.â
âIt is a popular course.â
âIt is,â she says. Â So is the practicum and sheâll be lucky if she can get on the roster for that too. Â Celestial Nav is required and thereâs more than enough sections, and only her and a handful of other students would ever be interested in the upper level morphology courses, so sheâs not exactly worried that there wonât be room for her. Â No, itâs boring as all hell to most cadets and anyone with any sense steers well clear of it. Â
Logical, probably. Â Or something.
âWhat are you teaching?â she asks. Â âDo you know already?â
âInterspecies ethics and I run a number of training simulators for command track cadets.â
âNot Theory of Semantics again?â
âNo,â he says and glances over at her. Â Thereâs a moment - far too long of one - where his eyes meet hers. Â Then, his eyebrow lifts and he says, âAdvanced Morphology instead.â
âRight.â Â She nods. Â âWell, then.â
The cab slows. Â Through the rain, she can make out the outline of her dorm, hazy and distorted in the sheet of water falling past the window.
âHave a pleasant evening,â he says and wherever heâs off to, he doesnât unbuckle his safety belt nor make any move towards the door handle on his side of the cab.
Which means heâs dropping her off.  Which is⌠well, itâs rather nice.  And leaves her only a short distance to dash through the rain instead of a walk through campus from wherever it is that heâs heading on his own.
âThanks.â Â She clears her throat again. Â âSee you tomorrow.â
On the other side of a too long paper.
He nods. Â âAnd next semester.â
âYeah,â she says and reaches for the latch on the door. Â âAnd next semester.â
Sheâs upstairs before she realizes she still has his sweatshirt. Â And now itâs spotted from the rain where drops fell over her shoulders and arms.
Carefully, she pulls it off and drapes it over the back of her desk chair to dry.  Sheâll give it back to him in the morning.  Along with a padd holding her paper.  Which will draw the attention of every other cadet in the room, so maybe⌠well, she knows where his office is.  And if sheâs going to have to suffer through another one of his courses next semester, sheâll likely be in there more than a few times, since she well enough knows now that his standards are high enough that she ought to start making use of his office hours if she doesnât want his courses to tank her GPA.
So sheâll bring it by then. Â And ask after the final, maybe, so that she can get started on it sooner rather than later.
And say thank you, too. Â For tonight. Â Since really, he didnât have to see her back home.
She drums her stylus against her mouth idly. Â Then she blinks, shakes her head, and pulls her thoughts away from him. Â She has her paper to finish and the sooner she gets it behind her, the sooner she can move on from the entirely too large impact Commander Spock is having in her life these days and start to forget about him, his teaching, and the drudgery that is time spent in his classroom.
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Security: physical, mental, and financial. Safety. Love. Happiness if possible, peace of mind if not.
What do you wish for yourself?
Motivation, for both creativity and learning new things. Courage, to stand up for what is right. Fortitude, to get me through the days when everything is terrible and looks hopeless.
Now to find more music for next year! I should drop some artists from my Spotify lists too - 306 artists is difficult to keep up with
fourthage replied to your post: Jayâs Follow Forever 2016/17: Real Fuckinâ Late Edition Itâs been...â
Okay, given that I've parked myself on their youtube channel for the past hour, I think it's fair to say I really liked my song. Â :) Â Now to work my way through everyone else's.
Stereophonics have been doing this for 25 years and theyâre still top of the pile. I think Iâve reccâd them to you before in the distant past
frandayam replied to your post: Jayâs Follow Forever 2016/17: Real Fuckinâ Late Edition Itâs been...â
I love my song! Thank you!
Paloma Faith is incredible, and sheâs just generally a really nice person. If a bit eccentric
curiouscanvas replied to your post: âJayâs Follow Forever 2016/17: Real Fuckinâ Late Edition Itâs been...â
How are your rec's always so perfect? Love my song, as always. Thank you <3
:D
onetruetea replied to your post: âJayâs Follow Forever 2016/17: Real Fuckinâ Late Edition Itâs been...â
oooh thank you! Love the song!
Excellent, I like Charlotte Carpenter, I even featured her on a previous fanmix as its coda
janiemcpants replied to your post: âJayâs Follow Forever 2016/17: Real Fuckinâ Late Edition Itâs been...â
Okay that song is GREAT. I can't wait to listen to the rest! Thank you for this! :D
Iâll keep that in mind! I wasnât sure what to pick for you so went retro. Glad you liked it
frandayam said: Rant topic: Reyes Vidal fighting to redeem himself in Ryder's eyes.
Dude. Dude.
I believe him when he says he wants peace. Problem is, he wants peace on his terms. I donât trust his terms, not when heâs willing to do shit like bring a sniper to a duel.Â
BUT DAMN. That scene can play out in so many different ways. SO MANY. They can stay together. They can break up. The Pathfinder can save Sloane. The Pathfinder can fucking shoot him in the back. I LOVE ALL THE POSSIBILITIES.Â
But if Ryder breaks up with Reyes, then he has to make some choices. Just how important are they? Are they willing to go on the up and up to try to make Kadara better? To prove to Ryder that he was the better choice?Â
And my main question is if Ryder saved Sloane, does the war continue? Does Reyes still try to work to take out Sloane? What does he do?Â
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6. Â Â Â Whatâs your guilty pleasure as a writer?
Long, elaborate dream sequences full of vague references to mythology and over-the-top Symbolism that make sense to nobody but me. Complicated, messy relationships where love and hate get all mixed up together. Sex scenes that are full of ridiculous dialogue and very little sex. Women who make terrible mistakes, who want to be forgiven but know they wonât be. Love that lives on in dreams and memory.Â
(Also, for somebody who professes to dislike kid-fic, I do seem to write a lot of stories with children in them?)
7. Â Â Â Be honest: are you mean to your faves, or do you go easy on them?
lol I am the meanest. The only way I know how to love a character is by pulling them apart piece by piece so I can see their insides. Maybe I put them back together, maybe I donât, but they rarely look the same as when I started.Â
So I have my Ryder! Her name is Emma and she is...
Thereâs no menu this time to choose squadmate powers, but as you level up and get new skills, you can set âfavoritesâ in a separate menu. It takes some getting used to, but I REALLY like it now.
Aaaah, okay. This IS going to take some getting used to. So does that mean if I have a bunch of biotic powers, I can only use the 3 (4?) I assign to my favourites at any given time?
My preferred ME combat style was always to charge into things, then use the HUD to freeze everything, look around, figure out who's about to kill me, and either target them while frozen or figure out the best cover to dive for. Which is why I suuuuucked at multiplayer. :D
This is going to force me to get better very quickly. Or dial the difficulty setting back to Casual. But there have already been some unintentionally comedic moments where there are bullets and explosions whizzing past while Emma's all "ooh, a THING I can scan!" Which is probably going to inform her personality a lot.
frandayam replied to your photoset:
So I have my Ryder! Her name is Emma and she is...
No HUD. I have a heart attack on the regular. Even in casual mode.
Yeah, I can tell this is going to kill me. A lot. :D Combined with the no saving during missions (WTF?), Iâm not going to be able to play like I used to, an hour at a time between things, because it took me FOUR HOURS just to get to a point I could manually save the last time. I suppose I could just quit and hope it reloads at the last checkpoint, but having NO IDEA WHERE THOSE ARE is a bit of a stressor.