#foxydodo

-000-

He was sure that he was going to die after jumping through that portal.

He didn’t know how long he had been falling, only that he had been falling for so long. There was stuff around him that fell faster,  and it wasn’t long before he realized he was surrounded by trash.

Just like him.

And why was the trash falling faster than him?

God, he was even losing to trash. 

When he wasn’t paying attention something smashed into him.

Everything faded and all he could see was portal green.

-000-

“A Morty with a drama implant jumping through the trash chute? Typical.”

“Aw, don’t say it like that, Morty.”

“Hm. I was going to go back to the Citadel. Will you be okay with him?”

“Oo-oh yeah, y-you’re heading back to the citadel. Yeah, Morty. I’ll be okay, Morty.”

“Well, if you need anything, call me.”

“Of course, Morty. I’ll keep you updated.”

“Aw geez. Thanks, Rick.”

-000-

His body was warm and comfortable, which was strange. And he was waking up slowly. When was the last time he had been able to wake up slowly, without alarms blaring in his ear and a Rick kicking at the door?

If it was a dream he was going to enjoy it. He almost fell back asleep again, but a sound reached his ears that has him on alert. He can hear someone walking.

He’s sure to get in trouble if he’s late to class. Usually his roommates would be groaning awake with him, but not today. He stays still and the sound goes away. Unfortunately, he’s awake now and he can’t seem to fall back to sleep.

Slick opened his eyes.

“Wha?”

He can’t help speaking aloud because he was in his room. Oh sure, there were some difference here and there, different carpet, different drapes, but this was his room. His first room before he had lost his first Rick.

He leapt out of bed, or did his best to, and ended up in a tangled mess on the floor.

Even the carpet was the right texture.

Slick gets up, throws the covers away, and starts rummaging through the room. The desk is normal: textbooks, a laptop, and picture of Jessica. The drawers has items any person going to school would have, and nothing stands out to him.

Then he goes to the closet. 

The closet which is filled with clothes other than a yellow shirt and jeans. There’s not much variety, but the fact that there’s clothes that are different, that’s what gets to him.

At the academy it was a yellow shirt and blue jeans all the goddamn time.

(And maybe that dumb sweater vest that Professor Rick loved.)

He almost picks out something else to wear, maybe a white tshirt, just something else that would be different from the usual Morty outfit, but he holds back.

For all he knew this could be a test.

Slick looks longingly at a leather jacket (a leather jacket!) and puts his hand down.

He goes through the rest of the room, but nothing looks out of place. Strangely, there’s no signs of a Rick, no souvenirs from other dimensions, nothing to defend himself with, nothing to tell him who he’s supposed to be as a Morty.

Slick is glancing at the door now that he’s gone through everything in this room. The door is cracked open, but he’s scared to open it completely. After screwing up his courage, he opens the door. In front of him is a hallway. He listens for activity, but there are no other sounds coming from the house. He takes a few tentative steps out before starting to explore.

The layout isn’t anything Slick is familiar with, but a quick look around reveals a bathroom with it’s door open. He tiptoes over.

After confirming the toilet is normal and nothing will pop out while he’s going, Slick relieves himself. And quickly flushes. He feels infinitely better and after he washes and dries his hands, he rummages around the various drawers. Again, everything is normal, a little too normal: regular ibuprofen, some brands he recognizes, and tampons?

He recoils, but calms down a moment later. Right, some Morty’s have sisters, they have moms, it’s totally normal.

He peeks inside the box and sees: normal tampons. The box is not a clever disguise for some Rick item. In fact, nothing in the bathroom suggests that there is anything abnormal about the family that lives here.

The place is silent, and after a moment Slick decides that there really is no one in the house. If they didn’t come to check on him in the bathroom, why would anyone be here? Instead of tip-toeing he walks normally, looking at all the rooms.

“Hey, Morty.”

Slick shrieks and whips around.

He knows the voice, but he can’t believe it. Sitting in front of him is another Morty. He looks normal, yellow shirt with blue jeans. Maybe the room that he woke up in belongs to this Morty’s. The other Morty waves and doesn't look at all perturbed at the sight of him.

“Want some cereal?” The Morty offers.

Slim jerks his head in an approximation of a head shake.

The Morty shrugs. “Suit yourself.”

And then Morty goes back to the cereal, as if he didn’t have to explain why Slick was here, or how he survived, or what on earth was happening.

Clearly, he needed to look for a Rick.

“I’m going to-” he looks away from the Morty, but can’t help but look back. The Morty keeps eating.

“Take your time.”

Slim takes one step back, then runs out so he’s not in the Morty’s line of sight. He starts going through the rooms, but doesn’t spot a Rick, or anyone else for that matter. However, the place looks cozy and warm. At the academy, any place that was used was dirty. They had cleaning bots, and Morty clean up time, but they could only do so much. The house is surprisingly clean and the place looks- homey. Nice. A place he would like to stay in.

Eventually, he wanders into the kitchen and his stomach growls at the sight of a fridge.

He makes a beeline for the fridge and opens the door, even though he’s mentally asking himself what he’s doing. Then he spots the sandwich. It’s perfect, it’s sitting right in front of him with the right meat to vegetable ratio and is even held together with a toothpick and an olive. Even more impressive is the note propped up against it.

Hey Morty! Sorry, I had to leave early for one of my experiments. I made a sandwich for you!

~Rick :)

“Wow…” Slick whispers as he picks up the note. The handwriting is definitely a Rick’s, even though it’s a bit neater than he’s used to. There’s even a smiley face after the name. That Morty, how lucky…

“Go ahead.”

Slick shrieks again. The Morty from before comes next to him, rinsing his bowl and spoon in the sink before putting it in the dishwasher.

“Wha-What?” Slick stammers. 

“Aww geez, Morty, just eat the sandwich. The glasses are in that cabinet.” The other Morty gestures casually in front of him before walking away.

Slick stays still, but no one comes back into the kitchen. He peeks out, but doesn’t hear or see any sign of the Morty come back.

His stomach growls and he decides to grab the sandwich. Then he opens the cabinet to find the aforementioned glasses. He doesn’t spot anything in the fridge that he wants to drink so he gets water. Slick goes back to the dining room and after a moment of hesitation he sits in the same spot as the other Morty.

He digs in.

Slick groans, the sandwich is perfect. The meat and veggies and the condiments, it’s wonderful. It’s a far cry from the kiddie meals that the school feeds the Morty’s. He scarfs down another bite before stopping himself.

It’s been awhile since he’s had a chance like this: not having a timeline, not having to sit with dozens of other Morty’s, not having to eat the same thing as everyone else, not having to be treated like a child despite the fact that all the Morty’s were teenagers. He wants to savor this. 

He takes a look at the note again. What a lucky Morty. He quickly tucks the note into his pocket. When he’s done with the sandwich, he copies the other Morty, rinsing his plate and glass at the sink and placing them into the dishwasher.

There, not so hard.

It’s like riding a bike, being a Morty. All Slick needed was the chance and he could be a Morty that any Rick would want.

He continues exploring the house, getting a feel for the layout. He passes a mirror and fixes his hair, making sure it’s perfectly slicked back. He rolls his sleeves up. He thinks back to the other Morty: how casual he was, with his slight slouch and relaxed demeanor. He tries to copy that. Then he shoots his reflection a grin.

Perfect.

At this point he’s getting a little more bold so he decides to go outside. He’ll leave the door unlocked.

When he gets outside, he shivers. A jacket might have been a good idea, but he’s chosen this look and he’s going to stick with it for the day.

But now that he’s actually outside, Slick realizes that he’s not in a normal house. He’s in a cabin like house in the fucking forest? What kind of Rick was this? Where did the other Morty go?

He starts stalking around the house. It’s much bigger then he expected, the living space inside wasn’t very large. Just where did the rest of the building go?

“Morty, you’re up!”

Slick lets out another shriek.

Then he swallows. That voice, it’s definitely a Rick. He calms down and tries to make like the other Morty and be casual and cool. Just be cool, Slick.

He turns to the Rick and blurts out: “Doofus Rick!”

The Rick who can only be Doofus Rick, keeps smiling despite Slick’s mistake.

“Ho-how are you- you feeling, Morty?” He asks, kindly.

“Oh. Hey, Rick. I’m uh- I’m feeling okay.” Slick rubs his arm, feeling awkward.

Rick walks up to Slick, abandoning a sleek machine. “That’s good. Co- come on. Let’s get you inside.”

Slick follows, subdued. He rubs his side and wishes his implant would kick in. Sure it’s Doofus Rick, the school does a unit on him, but he’s a Rick. Any Rick is better than going back to the Citadel.

Doofus Rick, well, Rick, leads him back into the cabin. He makes sure Slick is following him and doesn’t slam the door in his face. Slick follows the Rick back to dining room.

“Why don’t you take a seat, Morty?”

Slick gingerly takes a seat, while Rick rummages around in the kitchen. Soon, Rick brings him- a warm drink? He places one mug in front of him. It’s definitely hot chocolate with mini marshmallows.

“Tha- thanks,” Slick says. The mug is warm and he smiles at the small gesture. He’s glad to have something to do and takes a sip.

Surprisingly, the drink isn’t scaldingly hot. It’s just the right temperature and Slick consumes half of the mug before he knows it. The drink warms him up and is absolutely perfect for this weather. Slick glances at Rick who’s gently blowing on his drink.

Doofus Rick looks nice.

He’s a Rick who’s natural response is to smile. That’s rare and not a bad trait at all for a Rick.

Slick goes back to his own drink so he doesn't get caught staring. He’s about to take another sip when there’s a huge crash behind him. At least this time he doesn’t shriek.

“Go- gosh darn it,” Rick says. And for the first time he’s frowning. He stands and looks through the window. Slick looks out the window and sees a huge portal open in the sky. He shudders at the sight, it looks so much like the portal he jumped through.

Trash starts dropping out of the portal.

It is the portal he came out of.

Rick sighs and shakes his head. “The da- darn Citadel.” 

“Heh- so that’s how I ended up here.”

Rick’s face softens when he looks back at Slick. “Yeah, uh, yeah. The Citadel thinks it’s-it’s funny to dump trash near my place. It’s- uh, why I moved out here.”

“That’s shitty of them,” Sick says automatically. Then holds his mouth shut. It’s a rule that even though Rick’s swear, they tend not to like Morty’s that swear.

Rick smiles at him, though. “Ye- yeah. It is.” He finishes his coco and Slick hurries to do the same. “Do you wanna help me clean up?”

“Yeah! I mean, yeah, that would be cool,” Slick tries to say nonchalantly.

Inside his brain is  screaming to him RICK AND MORTY ADVENTURE. He quickly follows Rick. Rick tosses him a jacket from the stand, and he slips the jacket on. It’s a nice jacket and Slick thinks it suits him. Maybe it doesn't suit him as good as that other Morty, the cool bastard, but it suits him.

They head back outside and over to the garbage that’s rapidly piling up. Slick does his best not to flinch at the sight.

Rick leads him to a set of machines. When he flicks a few on robots fly out and start sorting the garbage.

“The bots will sort things, and then we can recycle most of it,” Rick explains.

Somehow, that makes Slick feel better. He’s not garbage and not dumb for throwing himself through the portal. Here’s a Rick that will take something bad and turn it into something useful.

Slick does his best to stamp some of the hope that’s building in him, surely caused by his drama enhancement, but it stubbornly doesn’t go away.

-000-

Over the next few days Slick wakes up early and spends time with Doofus Rick. (Just Rick, he has to still remind himself to call him Rick.)

Rick is wonderful: he makes meals, they do science projects together, and have adventures.

Occasionally the other Morty will join them.

Slick tries not to let it get to him, but that Morty is possible the coolest Morty he’s ever met. Level headed, and smooth, yet obviously a Morty. Even his stuttering is charming somehow, the ass.

He pops in and out of the cabin along with Rick. Apparently they go back to the Citadel every once in awhile. (Slick does not go back even when they offer.)

It’s great being with a Rick again, even if he has to share him with another Morty. Thankfully, the other Morty is ridiculously cool and balances his antics out. And Rick treats him like better than any Rick he’s ever met.

Then one day, it starts to snow.

“How is it snowing already, it’s not even winter!” Slick wonders aloud.

“Well, we’re not exactly in the midwest,” Rick answers.

“Wow,” Slick says, breathless. “I haven’t had a Christmas in forever.”

He’s staring at the window at the snow falling and when he looks back, Rick is looking back at him. Slick is suddenly afraid that he’s said too much when Rick smiles at him.

“Yo- you know what, Morty? We’re Rick and Morty! We can have Christmas anytime!” Rick declares.

Slick grins back. “Ye-yeah! A Rick and Morty Christmas!”

Rick produces ugly Christmas sweaters for them to wear, breaks out boxes of holiday decorations, and they go out to get a tree. Some people around them grumble that it’s way too fucking early for Christmas, but they don’t care, they’re Rick and Morty!

After they set everything up, Rick makes them hot chocolate again in some very ugly Christmas mugs. He gets the fireplace going and it’s perfect. They spend the night watching Christmas themed intergalactic television.

Slick doesn’t want to go to sleep, but Rick says that they can do Christmas everyday if he wants to. And so Slick dutifully goes to bed and tries not be a dramatic Morty by crying himself to sleep in happiness.

When he wakes up, it’s dark out and he can’t tell what’s woken him up. He’s sweaty and he feels claustrophobic.

For a moment, he thinks he’s back in the Citadel. That everything’s been a dream and maybe he’s been pulled out of the garbage. Life restored by the Ricks so that eventually he’ll have to be a Morty attached to some other Rick forever-

The lights flicker on and he finds himself in his room in the cabin.

Morty is sitting on the side of the bed. He puts a reassuring hand on his arm and he can feel himself calming down. Then the other Morty pulls his arm away and Slick sits up.

“Hey, Morty,” Morty says.

“He-hey, Morty,” Slick says back. He fiddles with the Christmas pom poms on his pajamas and suddenly wonders if Morty is hurt that they had Christmas without him. Maybe he gets jealous that Rick does stuff with other Morty’s.

“I’m moving back to the Citadel, Morty,” he says without preamble.

“What!”

A hand on his arm shushes him and any questions he has.

“You’re good for Doofus Rick,” Other Morty explains and Slick scowls at the nickname. “Yeah, I know, it’s a terrible name and the fact that you know that means you’re a good Morty for him. I’ve already explained everything to him. By morning, I’ll be gone.”

Slick twists the covers in his hands. He doesn’t know what to say.

“Merry Rickmas, Morty.”

Morty gently pushes him down and Slick goes with it. The covers are pulled up and the lights flick off and Slick falls asleep.

-000-

In the morning, Slick passes Other Morty’s room and it’s completely empty. 

It wasn’t a dream.

He goes to the living room where the tree is set up and sees Rick tenderly placing presents under the tree. When Rick looks at him, he smiles, and it finally hits him. This is HIS Rick that he doesn’t have to share with any other Morty. He’s the only Morty here.

“Merry Rickmas,” Morty says, echoing the words from the night before.