#foxxthoughts

I have a friend who does endurance sports, and talks a lot about type 2 fun. The fun that comes from having done something hard and achieved something, even if in the moment it didn't feel super enjoyable.

I'm not so much of a sports person, so for me type 2 fun is the pride of a good article after painful edits, or the moment after struggling with code that it finally clicks. It's getting through a tricky section of knitting or finally beating that boss after struggling for ages. Type 1 fun is exploring in Genshin or rewatching old Poirot episodes. It's fun and memorable.

I've been thinking more about screen use. Increasingly I find myself reaching for my phone like a limb. Without thinking about it, it ends up back in my hand. My consciousness roams for it if I go too long without checking my notifications or scrolling. I'd rather not disclose my screen time, and I'd rather not think about the multiplicative addition of my work computer, PC, and telly on top.

When picking a video essay to watch over dinner, as I often do, I stumbled across David Achu. Specifically, I stumbled across his video "Fill in the blank: my screen time is ____" It's only 40 minutes long, less than one TV episode. I struggggggled to not pick up my phone at any point during, not because the video was slow (to the contrary, David has an engaging editing style, fast pace of talking, and witty delivery), but because I have apparently trained myself to always expect the onslaught of dopamine and colours that this tiny computer blasts at me.

Recently I've started a new mobile game. I'm pretty sure I got it from an ad on another mobile game a while back, as is often the way. It's a puzzle game, and not randomised or too reliant on power-ups so it's not gotten immediately returned to the app store like most. When I hit the 3 hour limit I have set across multiple apps JUST on that game I knew there was an issue. Why do I reach for it? Unlike games or movies, there's no story. I'm not learning anything. I can't discuss it with the people I care about. I justify it by saying it's better than scrolling social media. In some ways it's nice not being bombarded with the discourse de jour and the horribleness of the news and "3 ways to hack your ADHD!". I don't need a new tiktok diagnosis. But it's serving the same purpose. It's mental numbing. It's outsourcing effort and thinking and preferring constant tiny drops of dopamine over anything actually fulfilling.

If Type 1 fun is fun to do and fun to remember, maybe Type 0 fun is fun to do, but hard to remember. You emerge from it like you've been in a fugue state, realise the room you were sitting in is now dark, you're hungry, dehydrated, and should have peed an hour ago. Maybe one or two videos stick in your mind, but most of them you couldn't recall even as you finally close the app and drag yourself to bed.

I have two small children in my life, and seeing them be brought up without constant screens really puts my phone use in context. How can I say that they need to learn to be bored, to use their imaginations, to go entertain themselves with all their toys and books rather than the tv or tablet, when I struggle to do the same?