Jessica Ford stirs from her slumber, the smell of eggs and chorizo pulling her away from her dreams. She gently rubs her eyes as she yawns. She reaches for the other side of her queen sized bed. Itâs empty.
She shuffles out of bed, putting on her fox slippers before trudging upstairs to the kitchen. Her eyes are still mostly shut as she slides onto a barstool at the breakfast nook. She rests her chin in her hands.
âMorning,â Caitlin says cheerfully from the stove.
Jess cracks her left eye open, grinning tiredly. Â âHey, did Chris leave already?â
âYea, the coaches wanted him to come in early to do drills with some of the vets that are still in town,â Caitlin explains.
The sound of Caitlin grating a spatula against the pan is oddly soothing.
Jess hums contentedly. âThatâs good right?â
âI donât want to jinx anything, but...I think so,â she says. âDo you want toast on the side or should I make it a sandwich?â
âSandwich.â Jess groans as she stretches in her seat. âI donât think I can wait for toast. Iâm famished.â
Caitlin chuckles. Not a minute later, she places breakfast in front of Jess, kissing her firmly on the temple. Jess turns her head so they can properly kiss each other. She thinks this is her favorite part of Caitlin and Chris visiting, getting quiet moments with her girlfriend. As much as she loves her metamours, all three, itâs nice to have some time for just the two of them.Â
They eat quietly together. Caitlin murmurs some things here and there about her family and looking into grad schools.
âYouâre looking into DU right?â Jess asks.
Caitlin nods. âAnd CU. The commute isnât ideal, but Iâd be close enough.â
âDex could get a job in Boulder,â Jess says. âGoogle is always hiring.â
She chuckles in response. âSo we just have to convince Nursey to move here.â
âColorado isnât a sea of white people anymore. Plus, microbreweries and legalized pot.â
Caitlin snorts into a sip of coffee. âIs everyone from here die hard about living here?â
Jess shakes her head. âNo, but most are.â
âGood,â Caitlin says, leaning across the table to squeeze her hand. âIâm excited.â
_/.\_
âWhere to today?â Caitlin asks Jess once theyâre in the car.
Jessâ car is an old forest green Subaru Outback that she inherited from her mom. She peels out of the driveway, heading toward the road that leads to the I-25 exit.
âThe continental divide,â she answers simply.
Caitlin balks. âSeriously? Thatâs amazing.â
âI wouldnât be a good girlfriend if I couldnât show you the world.â
âYouâre a sap, and I love you.â
âUh huh,â Jess says with smirk. âDonât pretend you didnât get the reference.â
âI feel very honored that you referenced my favorite Disney movie,â Caitlin says proudly.
Jess laughs quietly, and Caitlin has to stop herself from reaching over the console to kiss her.
Sheâs passionate, intelligent, and hilarious. Jess is a gust of summer wind, kissing everything the light touches with her effervescent joy. Sheâs fearless in the way that she approaches every problem honestly. Sheâs selfless in her love, including in how she loves herself.
Caitlin falls a little more in love with her every day. She thinks they make a good team, supporting each other from bleachers of games or even just in lingering touches before class. Itâs nice being able to sleep in Jessâs bed for a change. Normally they end up in Caitlinâs room of the volleyball house or Chrisâ bed when he, Dex, and Nursey have their time. It feels nice to occupy a space thatâs predominantly for them.
It takes them a half an hour to drive to the foothills. An alt rock station Jess loves starts to lose signal as they take a tunnel further into the mountains.
âCDs are in here,â Jess pats the center console. âPick an album.â
âRetro much?â Caitlin chirps.
Jess shrugs. âIt isnât a trip to the mountains if youâre not listening to something classic.â
âClassic how?â
âSee for yourself.â
Caitlin rolls her eyes, complying as she rifles through Jessâ CD collection. Itâs a lot of 90s singer-songwriters and 70s music. But thereâs an Of Monsters and Men album that proves her music isnât completely dated.
âThe XX,â Caitlin hums, impressed.
âI donât buy CDâs unless I know I can stand to listen to it at least twelve times.â
âWhy twelve?â
âLong car rides when Iâm too lazy to change out the disc,â Jess says as she rolls her window down, letting her arm rest against the car door.
âWell, thatâs why you have me,â Caitlin assures her jokingly, âto save your ears from five hours of Natalie Merchant.â
Jess laughs. âAs long as weâre not chirping Macy Gray.â
âI wouldnât dream of it,â she says as she crosses her heart.
Jess squints, playfully glaring at her. âYou did that on purpose.â
Caitlin dissolves into laughter. âSwear I didnât.â
They settle on Sheryl Crow, but a few songs in Jess asks to change it to Indigo Girls.
âYou know we donât have to be this queer right?â Caitlin chirps.
âIndigo Girls are a staple of mountain life,â Jess retorts. âJust like Subarus.â
âWerenât they marketed to lesbians in the 90s?â
Jess gapes. âLiving in the mountains is really queer ok?â
âMountain culture is queer culture?â Caitlin offers.
âSporadic weather patterns that leave you two feet of snow one day, sixty degree weather the next is queer culture.â
âLiving a mile above sea level and regularly driving through blizzard conditions is queer culture,â Caitlin adds. âHaving a mountain bike thatâs more expensive than your car is queer culture. And shopping at farmersâ markets more than malls is definitely queer culture.â
âExactly,â Jess says. She beams at Caitlin. âYouâre getting the hang of this.â
This time, Caitlin does lean over to kiss her on the cheek, because thereâs nothing more beautiful than Jessica Ford when she smiles. Jess is more vibrant and warm than the sun itself. Her hair is softer than clouds and her nose is the most kissable thing Caitlinâs ever seen. She loves how Jess scrunches it when sheâs deep in completion.
Caitlin rolls her window down. She lets her hand graze the rushing wind. Itâs so much brighter out West. She canât tell if itâs because thereâs more sunny days than overcast out here, or if itâs just the proximity to California that makes everything feel better. She isnât sure she cares to find out. The sunâs rays are marigold and amber. The air is crisp blue, lighter than a babyâs eyes.
Rows of pine trees chase after them. Jagged mountainsides are tied down by thick nets. Jess explains itâs to prevent rockslides. Clouds lazily roll by overhead. The bass of Jessâ stereo system thrums to the same pace. Caitlin wonders if everything here is just synched to the same all-encompassing rhythm.
âAll your life you've never seen a woman taken by the wind,â Caitlin sings quietly.
âWould you stay if she promised to you heaven?â Jess harmonizes perfectly to Stevie Nicks.
âWill you ever win?â They sing together.
Caitlin smiles.
Jess notices. âWhat?â
âI just really love you,â she says. âYouâre amazing.â
Jess blushes. âI love you too.â
_/.\_
They take a harder trail up to the Continental Divide. Caitlin has to stop at a few points to get used to the change in altitude. But overall they keep a good pace. Jess is happy she got to break out her hiking boots again. It feels like she spends most of the school year stuck indoors. Bostonâs winters are long and consistent.
Jess didnât think sheâd miss living in Colorado until she moved away for two years. She definitely doesnât miss hanging around the same people sheâs known since pre-school. Sheâs still eternally glad she didnât go instate for school. But at the same time, she has new people. She has friends, a girlfriend, and three awesome (if not ruckus) metamours. She could see herself moving back here if it meant being with them.
They stop at a lake for lunch. Enjoy the sun and scenery as other hikers trickle through. Caitlin kisses some mustard off the corner of her mouth. Jess retaliates by putting some peanut butter on Caitlinâs nose.
âNeed more sunblock?â Caitlin asks as she dumps lemonade powder into her water pouch.
âYes please,â Jess groans as she hunches over.
Caitlin rubs sunblock on the back of her neck and down her shoulders.
âYou know that feeling where itâs not like the sunâs actually burning you, but itâs so hot that you feel like youâre on fire?â Jess describes.
âYeah,â she says sympathetically. âThatâs why I hate beach volleyball.â
âI thought it was because youâre controlling,â Jess chirps.
Caitlin glares slightly. âItâs hot and hard to move around, and you have to trust one other person with your life.â
âYou poor thing,â Jess says. She cranes her neck back to kiss Caitlin at a better angle. âYouâre good at everything, you know that?â
âNot true,â Caitlin argues. âYouâre better at rock climbing, photography, being on timeââ Â
ââDrivingâ
Caitlin huffs, trying to suppress a smirk. âExactly.â
Jess kisses her again, enjoying the lingering taste of blueberry jelly. âWe make a good team.â
She laughs. âYeah we do.â
They spend another twenty minutes or so watching the Earth slowly turn underneath them. Jess almost falls asleep on Caitlinâs shoulder. She thinks thereâs nothing better than having good people to fall back on at the end of the day.
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Introducing for the first time ever: FoxFarmer (another offshoot of polyfarms)Â
warnings: canon-typical alcohol use, mentions of food
Also on AO3Â
Jessicaâs first season with SMH comes and goes with the first of week of Spring. Itâs earlier than the last few years, they tell her. Which seems to put most of the team in low spirits. Justin and Larissa make plans to celebrate their birthdays with a big party.Â
But before that, the team has an entire week to just laze about, letting the beginning of an end wash over them like fresh waves of sunshine. Sheâs hung out with the sophomores, Frogs, and Tony and Conner, or Tadpoles apparently.Â
Sheâs a tadpole, they tell her. They donât say it like her roommateâs boyfriend gets called a pledge. Itâs not an insult, or a reminder that she has to fight to gain her place. This is her place. She belongs here. They tell her so every chance they get.Â
Itâs in the little things like âhey Jess, I saw this and thought of youâ or âyoâ Foxtrot, check this out.â Itâs in the way Derek and Justin meet her subtle glare when no one else knows who Dawnn Lewis is. Itâs in the way Connor lets her vent, Chris says hi with a smile and a new vinyl to listen to, and Tony always gives her a reason to laugh. Itâs in the way Dex drives her to the good hardware store in the suburbs, and physically pushes away assholes when they crowd around the power tools that they argue she knows ânothingâ about.Â
Derek brings up the idea of having a camp out in the backyard. He chirps Dex about serenading him with some air guitar. Dexâs ears get bright red.Â
âI have a guitar,â Dex grumbles.
Derek stops snickering. âNo way. Are you good?â
Dex snorts, cocking an eyebrow. âI hope. My band in high school played a lot of gigs.âÂ
âI canât tell if youâre fucking with me or not,â Derek says.Â
Dex shrugs, leaves, and comes back twenty minutes later with an acoustic guitar and Caitlin Farmer humming along beside him. Caitlin is Chrisâs girlfriend. She lives in the womenâs volleyball house a block down. Sheâs got half a foot on Jess, sheâs almost always in a Samwell hoodie, and her smirk is beautiful and confident enough to make anyone blush.Â
Her Spanish is crude and sloppy, but also livelyâlike a salmon swimming upstream. Caitlin runs past the house almost every morning as the hockey team is walking home from practice. Jess is thankful that cold weather has allotted her the ability to hide her stunned expressions behind big winter scarves. Sheâs horrible at starting, and continuing, conversations with Caitlin.Â
Somehow, the Frogs and Tadpoles successfully start a controlled fire in the backyard. The guys manage to carry the couch out back.Â
âDonât get it too close to the fire,â Connor says. âYou wouldnât want to make Bitty happy and actually destroy this thing.â
âThis couch doesnât go until I graduate,â Chris says firmly.Â
Jess chuckles quietly to herself. Caitlin nudges her, waving Jess to sit next to her. Their knees knock together. Jess feels her face heat up. She tries to scoot away slightly, despite the fact that the couch is absolutely packed.Â
âHey, no worries,â Caitlin says. âUnless you want more space. Dex can sit on the ground.âÂ
Dex grumbles before doing it anyway.Â
âNo thatâs fine,â Jess insists. âYou donât have to.â
Dex shrugs, his frown softening when he looks up at her.Â
âTaking requests,â Dex says.Â
âNo dad rock,â Chris says.
âSays the guy who incessantly plays Black Sabbath,â Dex chirps.Â
Tony eyes him warily. âWhat genre do you normally play?âÂ
âAlt rock and indie rock,â Dex says.Â
âWhatâs the difference?â Tony asks.
Dex gapes at him. âYouâre joking, right?â
âWow, Dex, I didnât know you were a music snob,â Jess says with the straightest face.Â
Derek and Caitlin laugh. Connor offers her a fist bump.Â
Dex rolls his eyes. âAnyway, hereâs Wonderwall.âÂ
Derek chokes on his can of Natty light. âMarry me,â he says.Â
Jess doesnât miss the pleased smile Dexâs face. Although she thinks Derek might have. Dex does know a lot of grungey covers of older songs. But he also plays some songs from groups he discovered on Bandcamp. After a few drinks, he, Chris, and Derek get into something like a jam session. They put together the most impromptu experimental rap performance sheâs ever seen.Â
It almost sounds harmonious.Â
They try for smores. But no one knows where Bitty hides his good chocolate, and no one feels like going to Murder Stop N Shop tonight. So they make do with graham crackers and marshmallows. Caitlin apparently likes hers burnt.
âI only eat things as dark as my soul,â she explains with a wink.Â
Jess swears she sees Chris swoon.Â
She doesnât know if itâs the shitty beer or the fact that sheâs never really been in one place with Caitlin for this long, but Jess feels herself loosening up. They make a lot of jokes at the guysâ expense. They talk about New England is nothing like living out West.Â
âDo you miss the mountains?â Caitlin asks her at one point.Â
Jess nods through another sip of beer. âAll the time. Itâs so fun to drive in through the foothills. Every road feels like itâs own roller-coaster.âÂ
She sighs. âI miss being able to wear sweaters one day, summer gear the next.âÂ
Caitlin nods. âMe too, weather doesnât change as much in California. But, it still beats winters around here.âÂ
Jess hums quietly in agreement. The energy from earlier is dying down. Connor and Tony are making out behind the couch. Chris and Derek are falling asleep on Dexâs shoulders as he keeps playing songs she can only vaguely recognize.Â
It must be a quiet evening in Boston, because Jess can see more stars than normal. Itâs getting colder out, and she only has a thin periwinkle cardigan on to keep her warm. Larissaâs letting her sleepover this week. But who knows when sheâll be back from the bars.Â
She feels an arm wrap around her shoulder. Her gaze flickers to Caitlin who looks sort of guilty, but also hopeful.
âIs this alright?â Caitlin whispers.Â
Jess nods, scooting a little closer. And because sheâs feeling really brave, she rests her head against Caitlinâs shoulder. When Caitlin settles back against the couch more, making them both more comfortable, Jess lets out a sigh of relief.Â
She wants to say something, to be a little more brave, and courageous. Itâs one thing to have three hockey players explain that theyâre dating each otherâŚand that one of them has a girlfriend. Itâs another to be interested in someone who could want her too.Â
The concept knocks the wind out of her lungs a little bit.Â
Whenever she thinks of Caitlin, her mind flickers to thoughts of waves lapping up against a sandy shore, of  columbines dancing in the wind, of arepas she didnât know she missed. She thinks a lot about those corny lens flare filters and why sunlight always seems to catch the outline of Caitlinâs cheek.Â
This isnât the first time sheâs felt this way about a girl. But she thinks this is certainly the first time she can do anything about it.Â
Jess swallows a little bit of courageâreal courage.Â
âHey Cait?â she murmurs.Â
Caitlin hums, taking her head away from its comfortable spot on top of Jessâ. âWhatâs up?â
Jess ducks her head a little, biting her lip. She steadies herself, eyes meeting Caitlinâs. Caitlin has all this warmth and encouragement swimming in her eyes. Jess has never been more excited to potentially make a fool of herself before.Â
âCan I kiss you?â Jess asks.Â
Caitlin leans in slowly, hair falling to the side of her face. Her lips are an inch away from Jessâ.Â
âYes please,â Caitlin whispers. âIâd really like that.âÂ
Their lips get a little stuck from Caitlinâs lipgloss at first. But then they find a rhythm, and itâs really good. Their tongues are slipping in and out of each otherâs mouths as their bodies get closer. Itâs a little awkward but fun. It makes the beating of Jessâ heart race a little faster.Â
Hands wander; kisses deepen.Â
She ends up lying on the couch, her hair mussed and definitely in need of some love. Caitlinâs hovering over her. Itâs dark out, but she can still make out the vibrant red tinge of Caitlinâs face.Â
âHow was that?â Caitlin asks.Â
âAmazing,â Jess admits.Â
Caitlin giggles. The sound feels like coffee in the morning.Â
âIâm glad,â Caitlin says. She bites her lip. âHey Jess?â
âYea?âÂ
âCould I take you out sometime? Like a date,â she clarifies.Â
Jess has to cover her mouth to hold back an excited yelp. She nods, before swallowing thickly.Â
âYea,â Jess says finally. âIâd like that.âÂ
Purple U.F.O. from the Fox Solo pepper patch! First year really taking a stab at growing my own peppers! #foxfarmer #spicewizard #purple #ufo #chilihead #chili #greenthumb #nature (at Honeoye Falls, New York) https://www.instagram.com/p/ChGHWVaunce/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=