#foxestower

This isn’t great, I didn’t even edit it I just needed to get this out of my brain

Rain reminded him of his mother, as did the cigarette dangling between his fingers. Fall in South Carolina meant rain, and this year had been no exception. It was cold, colder than usual and yet the two had found themselves sitting on the wet roof once more. Andrew sat with his legs dangling off the edge of the building, with the white and tan tube sitting between his lips and his hoodie strewn off to the side. Neil was staring, he had started doing that a lot more lately. Andrew had stubble, and Neil found that it was an immediate turn on for him. The short blonde felt his stares, and pushed Neil's head so it was looking the other way. "Stop." He bit out, then took a long drag and then the smoke drift off with the wind.     

"Make me." Neil's tongue was a force of chaos, always getting him into trouble. And that was no different this time, Neil knew he had won when Andrew threw both their cigarettes in the nearest puddle and hissed out, "Yes or no?"     

"Yes." Andrew shoved Neil down, pinning him with his hips and taking his mouth in his. Neil gladly let him, keeping his hands above his head before Andrew grabbed Neil's wrists and guided them to his waist.    

This was what he wanted, this was what Neil always wanted. He didn't want to think about how Andrew would be leaving the coming summer, he didn't want to think about how the dates of what had happened were coming for them fast. Neil didn't want to think about anything, just Andrew. It was always Andrew.     

 Andrew, Andrew, Andrew.    

 Andrew tried to pull away when one of their phones buzzed, and Neil jumped in at the chance. "You need to stop with the neck thing." Andrew muttered through a shutter.     

"Shut up." Neil hummed, pulling Andrew closer.    

 It was a while before they both sat up again. Neil's hoodie was soaked, has Andrew had decided to pin him down right in a puddle. But he didn't care, not when Andrew was so close. Not when he kept a lingering hand on Neil's thigh, slowly moving up and staring straight ahead. Neil followed Andrew's gaze, then let his eyes fall to the ground below.    

 It was far, four stories down with cement at the bottom. He understood why Andrew despised heights, why he hated falling. And why he hated Neil, that one he very thoroughly understood. "Let's go inside, my hoodie is soaked." Andrew didn't respond, instead, he grabbed at his pack of Camels and lighter. Inwardly, Neil smirked, then hummed out, "And take a shower." Andrew's hand stopped, then he swung his legs over the roof and stood up. Got him, Neil tried to hid his smile as he watched Andrew throw open the roof door, then stood as well.     

 For a brief moment, he was fine, and then he felt his heart flutter upwards and watched Andrew turn to face him. His shoes, his goddamn shoes had no traction. "Andrew!" It slipped through Neil's lips without a second thought, and Andrew's face twitched into an emotion only Neil could recognize. Fear.   

  It all happened slow, painfully slow. Andrew shot across the roof to grab Neil's hands, which were frantically grasping at the edge of the roof, and then he froze. Andrew froze, his fear of heights no longer made him feel alive. Because Neil was falling, his Neil was falling. He was falling and Andrew couldn't get to him in time.  

 Neil thought he would see his life flash before his eyes. His dad, playing Exy as a child, his mom burning, that was what he expected. But all he got was Andrew.     

Andrew, Andrew, Andrew.

Oh god, that was all he could see as he fell further and further away. Away from home. Andrew disappeared for a second, just long enough for him to flip so he would land on his legs. There was no Exy, there was no Kevin or Riko or anyone. He didn't have a future, all he had was Andrew, who was standing on top of the roof watching him plummet.    

 Neil said a mental goodbye, who knows if he would survive. After coming this far, after all the shit freshman year, he was going to die falling off a roof. Being an idiot, Wymack always said he was an idiot. And he knew, everyone on the team knew it, even Neil himself knew it.     

He closed his eyes, and thought of Andrew. The man he had let explore every part of him, the man he hated with every fiber of his being. Who knows how he was reacting, maybe it would be like Baltimore. Kevin better watch-   

 A dull thud sliced through the fall air. 

(UHHHH so I've never written a Andreil fic before. Srry if they're out of character, feel free to burn me at the stake for this. (obviously this is an AU, not cannon in the slightest) Have a good day :) I'm not sorry for the pain I have brought upon you)

PT 1 (You are here) 

PT 2

A broken leg, a sprained ankle, crack ribs, a fractured arm, and a brain bleed. 

Neil Josten was the miracle kid, he shouldn't have survived. Though he had tried to land on his legs, the way he flipped around in the air had only made the landing worse. For three days, it seemed like Neil wouldn't make it, but one surgery later and he was stabilized, but not awake. Seven days passed, however, with Neil being completely unconscious and under heavy monitoring. It's unbelievable, the doctor had said, he shouldn't be recovering this fast. Nicky joked it was because Neil wanted to be back on the court as soon as possible, which received halfhearted laugh from Renee and then a punch to the gut from Andrew. 

Andrew. He hadn’t  left the hospital since day four, when the Doctor finally caved under his knife and Wymack had given up trying to keep the twin at his place.

The rest of the team had been coming in and out, trying to leave flowers and cards that Andrew always ended up throwing away. (Kevin's flower's hadn't even made it into the room. Andrew shoved them in Kevin's face and then slammed the room door shut.) Andrew had only let the Doctors get close to him, anyone who so much as looked at Neil too long was escorted out with two separate knives. Andrew "I don't give a shit" Minyard most certainty did give a shit, and he was making it well known to the team. 

Renee was the only one that had been allowed to stay longer than ten minutes. Mostly, she sat in silence, studying Andrew's growing eye bags and tense shoulders. Once she had tried to say something, but the words had died in her throat when Andrew brought his hands up to his own face and shuddered. Needless to say, she left him and Neil alone not long after that. 

On day ten of Neil being unconscious, Andrew came into the room with the thick smell of cigarettes following him. Nciky, Renee, Allison, and Kevin were all strewn around the room, in the same place they were when he left. His face was stoic, but the atmosphere he brought with him was bone-chilling. "Out." He hissed, the venom in his voice almost knocking Kevin over. 

They were out in less than thirty seconds, only Renee hesitating at the door and then closing it softly. Andrew scowled at Neil, then took a seat near the window and folded his arms. His mind flicked back to the conversation they had had freshman year, thinking back on it now was making his blood boil. 

"Give me one good reason to not push you off the side."

"I'd drag you with me. It's a long way down.”

Goddammit. He had been right, Andrew would never admit, but Neil had been goddamn right. It was a long way down, and only his fear had stopped Andrew from going over the edge with the Junkie. “I hate you.” Andrew spit out, clenching his hands tight against his side and pushing off the wall. “I hate you so much.” 

As usual, no response. Neil only laid there, eyes softly closed and breathing calm. Andrew glanced down at Neil’s arm, which had an IV nestled between two long scars, and scowled once more. The Doctor had asked how this had happened, his scars, and Andrew gave the asshole a nice, long slice down the arm for talking out of turn. They were not to ask about Neil, about his past or about Andrew. 

They simply had to heal him enough so they could leave, so Andrew could take him home and gut him himself. 

Andrew turned, but this time kept his left side facing the man. Deep down, whether he realized it or not, he would never turn his back to Neil again. Because he was scared, scared of him slipping away only to never return.

“Asshole.” Andrew spit, going to take a seat near the window. 

“Drew...?” The blonde froze, not even daring to look at Neil. He had to have imagined it, Neil wasn’t- “N’Drew, what happened?” 

“You fell off the roof.” Andrew muttered, turning to Neil and shoving his hands in his pockets. The feel of the cigarette box offered him no comfort. Neil’s eyes were hardly open, but Andrew could make out a small sliver of blue underneath his auburn eyelashes. 

“Right,” Neil looked away from Andrew, and around the room. “I’m in a hospital.” Andrew wanted to break Neil, right then and there. His sanity was on the brink, and if Neil kept talking Andrew would slip over the edge as well. 

“Shut up.” Neil looked back to Andrew, and grinned softly. 

“Andrew, Andrew, Andrew.” 

“I said shut the hell up.” Andrew ground out, stepping so he was at Neil’s bedside. Neil looked up at him, then reached for Andrew’s arm with his uninjured one. The man stopped just before his fingers brushed against the concealed blades, remembering, even in his state of delirium. Andrew grabbed onto Neil’s wrist, placed it back down on the bed and held onto it. 

God, did he hold on. “I hate you.” 

“I get that a lot.” Neil hummed out, running his thumb over Andrew’s cracking knuckles. “Yes or no?” 

“No.” Neil looked downright shattered at Andrew’s denial, gripping onto his hand tighter and attempting to sit up. Andrew watched him, and helped him back down the moment he realized his mistake. 

“Drew,” Neil cried, holding onto he blonde a little tighter. “Drew, it...it hurts.” 

“Then don’t be stupid, Junkie.” Andrew carefully and meticulously looked Neil over, and then move him over and laid down next to him. 

“Yes?” 

“No.” Neil was in no way, shape, or form able to give consent right now. But after a minute, he seemed content with Andrew’s arms wrapped carefully around Neil’s shoulders, and being pressed into the blonde’s chest. “If you do that again, I’m not going to get you.” 

Neil shuddered, holding onto Andrew a little tighter. “M’ sorry.” He cried, tears welling up in his eyes. “I didn’t wanna fall. You’re scared of falling, so am I.” Andrew didn’t respond, he could have, but didn’t. Instead, he hugged Neil’s fragile body as close as he dared and pulled the blanket up over them. 

Neil sobbed into Andrew’s chest, a groan of pain slipping it’s way through his lips every now and then. “It’s worse ‘han Baltimore.” Neil whimpered out. “Broken bones...hurt more than broken skin.” 

“Shut. Up.” Andrew ran a hand gingerly over the bandage on Neil’s head. Neil reached up with his unbroken arm and linked his fingers with Andrew’s, and then met his eyes. 

“I remember.” Andrew’s body went ridged, but Neil didn’t seem to notice. “Laying on the cement, I-I watched you run towards me.” Neil dropped his gaze to just past Andrew’s shoulder. “You screamed my name.” 

“Go to sleep.” The blonde did not want to talk about this anymore. He didn’t want to think about it anymore. He just wanted Neil to heal faster so they could leave. In time he would, he would heal and go back to the Court as if nothing had happened. 

And Andrew would heal too. Despite his fear of heights, him and Neil would in time, find themselves on the roof again. Smoking, kissing, talking, it would be okay. 

Then when the time came for Andrew to leave Neil, to forge his own path while Neil stayed in school, they would be okay.

They would be okay. 

End 

PT 1

PT 2

hi thena!! the 🌷is always available, even if it takes me 90 years to answer them! 🤍 i loved seeing the progression in your editing style! i really liked this persephone edit; it fits the vibes so well, and i’m always a sucker for the folded paper texture. and this annabeth edit; the cutouts are so clean, and it really captures her so perfectly!

HI THENA I LOVE YOU SO MUCHHHHHH 

blazing star: share a secret

I’ve known all the parental controls passwords on all my devices for years and my parents have no idea :)

pansy: do you like poetry? 

i do !!!! I will say I’m not usually the biggest fan of the style poets like rupi kaur and amanda lovelace use but in general I really love poetry

thanks for asking <3