#four tag

“You know what I noticed?” Billy asked, and when Matty only hummed, he rolled onto his side to see Matty’s eyes closed. “Blaine sounds like his grandma would've said shit like ‘crick’. That type of American accent. I’ve never heard him say ‘creek’, though, so I’m not proven wrong. D’you think he’d say crick or creek?”

“Mhm,” Matty nodded. Billy moved a little closer to him, wrapping his arm around his waist.

“You’re not listening are you?” He smiled and kissed Matty’s forehead. Matty tried to protest, but it faded into soft mumbling and then quickly into silence. Billy shook his head. “It’s okay, peaches. Do you mind if I keep talking?”

Matty laughed, and Billy could just barely make out, “You called me peaches,” and he was dazzled by how soft his husband’s face was, how relaxed and at rest he was.

“I’ll do it again if you like it. I was also thinking about sweet pea, angel eyes, sugar lips,” he stared at Matty, studying his face careful. He had a soft, Mona Lisa smile, but nearly every line on his face was gone. He looked younger, certainly, and just… content. When he didn't respond, Billy just kept talking.

“You’ve gotta forgive me for staying up,” he mumbled, “I've been having bad dreams lately, about all sorts of things, but mostly my old crew. I know that the ghosts aren't anything like them, but…” he looked up at the ceiling, moving onto his back.

“I’m worried, I guess. I should've fallen to my death. She was letting me fall to my death, and One has left me for dead before. I’m scared. And it doesn't feel good to say these things out loud, I don’t like talking about my feelings,” he sighed. Matty had opened his eyes, forcing himself back to consciousness to listen to his husband.

“I’ve been sacrificed before. My first crew, only two of ‘em stuck around, but they let me get arrested twice. I’m a good guy, so I didn't give ‘em up, I’m not a narc, but… they left me. I needed help getting out of the window because it was poorly planned, and instead of taking my hand, they ran. All of ‘em,” Billy squeezed his eyes shut, “The crew I was with in Kiev, they did something like that. I didn't get caught, but they left me there. I should've fucking known she’d let me fall.”

Billy rubbed his palms into his eyes, trying to stop himself from tearing up, “And I get scared that you’ll do that. It's unfounded and selfish but I keep having dreams where you let me fall, and I’m begging for you to grab my hand, and you just stare at me. I have dreams where I’m trying to crawl to you and you let someone kick me and try to kill me. I hate it. I know you wouldn't— I hope you wouldn't. I love you and I don't want to be a clown for it.”

“I’m sorry. I’m just anxious and sad, or some shit,” Billy rolled onto his side, staring into Matty’s blue eyes and then pausing. How embarrassing. He was awake.

“You don’t have to apologise. It’s okay, baby,” Matty whispered, “You’ve been through a lot. You've been betrayed before, it’s okay to be scared. I wouldn't ever do that. I promise you, I will always do everything in my power to keep you safe.”

Billy smiled, knowing his eyes were filling with tears, and he let Matty hold him, playing with his hair sweetly, “That’s unfair. I thought you were asleep.”

“Well, I think I was, but I heard my husband talking and he didn't sound happy, so I woke up,” he kissed Billy’s forehead, “But I did hear you call me ‘peaches’.”

“Do you like it?” Billy asked, looking up at Matty again, studying his face; he looked different now than he did just moments ago.

“Yeah. I think it’s cute, it just doesn't have anything to do with us. I’m not from Georgia or something,” Matty shrugged and snuggled up with Billy in his arms, sighing as he got comfortable.

“Well, peaches are juicy and sweet and have soft skin and they're my favourite fruit. You’re juicy and sweet and you have soft skin and you're my favourite person,” Billy explained. He really thought it through.

“I thought you were going to say I was your favourite fruit for a second, and I was like, ‘come on, I know you listen to Elton John,’” Matty joked, kissing the top of Billy’s head, “It’s cute. I like it. I like you."