#foundandlost

The whole album space[s] is now on spotify guys, great listen, I 😍😍😍😍 for now I’ll repeat until everything hurts

Chapter 2 - June

If we are always trying to think two steps ahead, we are missing out on the moment. It’s a choice, and I’m learning to choose the moment more often.

———

I didn’t know how to feel as walked back to my apartment. I don’t even remember how I got there. Seeing her, talking to her, was electric. It had been a while since I felt like that. But with that feeling came conflict. Alarms going off that I couldn’t simply ignore. I’m married.

My brain was processing and it felt like my head was a mixing bowl. Ingredients, emotions, being tossed together. Going in as one thing and coming out another. I’m married. Why was I feeling this way?

—

When I left Atlanta 2 weeks ago, I said goodbye and felt a combination of relief and excitement. Things between my wife and I had been off for a while. We both recognized it, we tried to fix it, but it felt like we were slowly derailing. When the opportunity to work on the project in London came up, I took it. Six months away would be hard, but something needed to change. My wife didn’t put up much of a fight. To be honest, she never really did, and I had muted my emotions years ago. We were both complicit.

—

So on that walk back, while my brain was doing what my brain does, my heart was full of flutters and heat. “Snap out of it Devin” the voice in my head was saying, followed quickly by “She’s beautiful. Did you see that smile?”. I didn’t even know her name.

I couldn’t tell you what the rest of that weekend looked like. It was just the time between seeing her and possibly seeing her again. I know that sounds like hyperbole, but I have no better way to describe it. I wasn’t consumed by the golden haired siren, just distracted and I didn’t fight it.

Monday came and waking up was just a bit easier than normal. Same routine, different feeling. When I got to the coffee shop, a quick scan told me she was not there. That’s alright. We hadn’t actually made plans to meet, I was operating on hope. I placed my order and rather than waiting at the end of the bar, I found a table and sat down. I pulled my laptop out and decided that I needed to focus on something else.

“I’m glad to see you sitting down. Less chance of being bowled over again.” came a voice that pierced my soul.

I looked up from the emails that had been providing sanctuary from my run away thoughts. There she was, standing before me. Her beautiful smile, intoxicating eyes, I took her all in and then realized I should respond.

“Oh, I’d catch you before I’d let you fall.” I said as my cheeks burned.

Where did that come from? I’m not that smooth. Her breath caught. Pump the brakes Devin.

“What are you doing here?” I managed with an instant cringe.

She relaxed. “Well, someone told me they would buy me coffee, so I am here to enforce a legally binding contract.” She said playfully with a hint of sarcasm.

“Legally binding contract. Are you a lawyer?” I asked, smiling.

“As a matter of fact, I am.” she replied.

“Well then, we better get you that coffee. I would not want to be guilty of breach.” I said with a ridiculous grin I’m sure.

I abandoned my place at the table and got in line with her.

“Do you work near here?” I asked.

“Yes, just around the corner. And you?” she asked.

“Yes, my office is across the street, above the cafe.” I told her, pointing in some general direction.

“And what do you do in the office across the street, above the cafe?” She asked with a cheeky grin.

I smiled. I loved her accent. She’s not from London either.

“I am an architect. My firm is redeveloping the space on Paris Garden a couple of blocks over.” I explained.

It was our turn to order.

“Hi. A cappuccino with oat milk please.” she said.

Same order as last time, my brain registered subconsciously.

“Can I get your name please?” The barista asked.

“June” she replied.

June, her name is June.

“Do you want to come sit down?” I asked hesitantly.

Why would she want to come sit down? That voice of doubt taking aim.

“Sure, but I’d like to know who I’m going to be sitting with.” With a dubious eye brow raised to match the inflection in her voice.

“My name is Devin.” I said, reaching out my hand awkwardly to shake hers.

“Well Devin, thank you for the coffee.” She said as she held my offered hand.

We sat back down at the table. I closed my laptop. We enjoyed our coffee and talked easily about our jobs and how we ended up in London. Nothing too deep or personal, but the conversation flowed naturally. I found out her beautiful accent had followed her from Belgium.

I looked at my watch and was surprised. We had been there far longer than I think either of us had realized or intended. I had a meeting in five minutes. I didn’t want to leave her presence.

“June, I need to go to a meeting.” I said. Probably more melancholy than intended.

“Oh, wow, I need to go too. I enjoyed the coffee and our conversation Devin.” she replied, matching my sentiment.

“So did I June.” I said quietly

Our eyes met, and neither of us moved. I didn’t want to leave this moment. I don’t think she did either. Finally, I broke.

“I hope to see you here again soon.” I said as I stood up and gathered my bag.

“I would like that as well. Even though I do have to pass three other coffee shops on my way here.” June said in a way that made me understand how deliberate her coming there that day actually was. My heart noticed. We both laughed. We walked out and parted ways.

Chapter 1 - Collision

When you reach an unexpected turn in the road, you have two choices. 1) slow down and be cautious or 2) keep going and hope your grip holds and that you don’t lose control. The “right” choice is obvious. I didn’t choose obvious.

——-

I was waiting for my coffee order, head in my phone. Maintaining equal measures of keeping to myself and minding my own business. The same routine, perfected over the last few weeks since I had arrived in London. I didn’t know it, but my universe was about to become unbalanced.

“A cappuccino with oat milk please.” I don’t know why, I mean I had overheard many orders without taking notice, but I interrupted my isolation and looked up. Beautiful. Graceful. Confident.

“Devin”…”Devin, here you go”. The oxygen returned to the room and my senses caught back up to time.

“Thank you”. I took my coffee, grabbed my bag, and looked back to find her. She was gone.

There are moments in life that cling to you. The memories sharper and flooded by all of your senses. The sight of her golden hair. The smell of the coffee shop. The sound of her voice when she placed her order. The feeling in my stomach like the weightlessness experienced at the top of a hill on a roller coaster. It was nothing more than a tiny drop in the expanse of a lifetime, but the ripples would be felt long after.

The next day started much the same as every day before. Early to the gym, back home to shower, short walk to the coffee shop. I placed my order and took up my normal post at a table near the end of the bar. Every time the door opened, I looked up, only to be let down when it wasn’t her. My coffee came and I was about to leave, admittedly disappointed by fate. I walked to the door and as I reached for the handle, there she was on the other side. I froze, or time froze, I’m not sure which. Snapping back into myself, I opened the door and held it. She looked up at me and I wish I could say we locked eyes and the connection was absolute, but with a hurried “thank you” she walked past me. Her universe unaffected.

The days went by and my path didn’t cross her’s. The euphoric hope that had unavoidably grown after our repeat encounters early in the week was waning, replaced with the reality of the mundane. Friday came and went. Saturday, I woke up to a crisp autumn day and my body needed to be outside. I picked up my coffee and walked to a nearby park. I wasn’t the only person compelled to enjoy the calm morning. People jogging, parents pushing strollers, young couples hand in hand. I walked down the path and found an empty bench near the water. I sat there and let my mind drift.

My phone vibrating in my pocket startled me. A text message reminding me of the appointment I had completely forgotten about. I stood up hurriedly and ran right into a woman running past. “Oh, ouch!” she gasped. I nearly knocked her over, but managed to grab her arm to keep her from falling. “I’m so sorry! Are you okay?”. Regaining her balance, she looked at me, eyes full of fury and confusion. I’m sure the unintended smile on my face was the source of the confusion. It was her. She was there. Right in front of me. Sweaty and out of breath, radiant. I realized I was still holding on to her arm. I let go as I could feel the heat on my cheeks.

Introduction

I wasn’t expecting this. I didn’t want this…

There are forces of nature that can be explained mathematically, but until they are experienced, cannot be fully understood.

Gravity - the force that attracts all objects with mass or energy towards each other.

Before, I thought of gravity only as the reason I did not float off into space. Now, I understand gravity differently.

Printed on the back of a suspiciously warm flyer at the Noodleburg Laundromat.

Lost:

Pocket universe shaped like a jelly donut. My nephew named it “Plop.” Last seen humming Bee Gees tunes near the cereal aisle. We miss it. Reward offered: one soft scarf and a secret.

Found:

Gravity. Slightly used. Keeps everything down, including my mood. On sale half price or swap for decent trampoline.

Missing:

Left sock. The one that had dreams. Think it slipped into a wrinkle in time again. Smelled faintly of peppermint. If it sends messages through your toaster, please respond.

For Sale:

Gently haunted teacup. Refills itself with whatever you almost wanted. Ghost inside is polite but judgmental. Price negotiable, especially if you’re lonely.

Help Wanted:

Someone to talk to the mirror. It’s been making comments about my posture and late-night snacking. Not mean, just disappointed. Bring snacks.

Trade:

Will swap slightly cursed harmonica (summons emotional thunderstorms) for something less dramatic. Like sentient wallpaper or a VHS tape that teaches empathy.

Looking For:

Portal roommate. Must be cool with flickering lights, time hiccups, and Thursdays that loop once or twice. No banshees, please — I work from home.

Found:

An idea I lost in 2003. It came back dressed like a pigeon. Unsure what it wants now. Free to someone braver.

Reward:

If anyone sees my teenage existential crisis wandering Sycamore Park, please tell it I’m ready to talk. It used to smell like iced coffee and fear of failure.

Offering:

Unclaimed moonbeam. Keeps sleeping in my laundry basket. Seems sad. Would love a home with dreams.

📎🌀👁

Reader Comments:

“The harmonica cried when I played it. We’re roommates now.” – @emotionalbutloud

“Tell your mirror mine says hi. They used to date, I think.” – Carla from over the deli

But the same feeling. Pick me. Pick me!

Every moment with you is not just a singular moment in time and space. I want to have these moments over and over again. Revisit them with you when I am older, and re-experience them next year, and the next decade with you, and you alone.

I’ve seen your soul: at its best, at its worst, and everything in between. 

You’ve seen my soul: at its best, at its worst, and everything in between.