My new goal is working on that waterscaping permit, I have an idea for the pond by the zen garden, but it’ll be a lot of work. I feel a little more motivated, because believe it or not I did actually sleep a little better last night. Go figure.

Part of me has the urge to move everything and start completely fresh, but I’m not sure if I’m enough of an artist for that. And the idea of having large swathes of empty space that are reliant on me to do something about them is a little bit overwhelming. I guess I could do it one patch at a time. I sort of wish there was some way for me to get more ideas for it, but I do like the idea that it’s all my own vision for this place.

211 days in and I’m just now making large plans for changing the island up. Maybe it’s the unwilling break of having a busted ankle that made me suddenly want to start working on things. I’ve been given the all clear, so might as well make the place look all pretty and nice.

Working with limited resources is presenting a bit of a challenge. The idea of having to go so slow does de-motivate me honestly. Having to wait for flowers or bushes to grow, or for the shop to restock with something I actually want to buy or need makes the process terribly slow. I’d much rather do it all in one go, but you can’t just travel through time and get what you want. Unfortunately.

I suppose for now until I’m cleared to do harder work it’s a matter of planning and getting more money for things like bridges and inclines. The outdoor movie theater is almost done. Woohoo.

Day 210 is a bit of a benchmark, mostly since I was sort of distracted on day 200. The distraction was very welcome of course, especially with my injury. I might’ve spiraled into a much worse depression if Fuchsia hadn’t been there, although she did see plenty of my breaking down. Even then she didn’t seem to mind so much.

I’ve been enjoying indoor gardening as much as outdoor. I guess I still have the basement to work with. I’m still at a bit of a loss as to what to do with it. I have the debt to work on. But I’m less stressed about it honestly. Now I raise money for island projects mostly. It’s not too hard but it goes away fast. But I don’t really understand anything about economics or stocks or supply and demand. I just chop the trees, man.

Fuchsia did send me a package today. A small box. It had a candle that smelled sort of like the perfume she wears. I put it by my bed. I wonder if I should send her something back? I should think of something romantic. Probably something handmade since I’m good at that. I’ll have to think about it. Maybe I can ask for advice from my neighbors.

I did hobble my way to the resident services and asked Nook about my ankle. He and Isabelle peeked at it and said it was looking a lot better. It shouldn’t be too much longer now. Maybe I should try to talk to a real doctor, but I don’t really know how I would pull that off. Apparently getting injured is something rare and foreign. Sick? Sure. Bug stings? Yes. But a broken ankle? Apparently that’s something else entirely. How strange.

Naturally I didn’t get any sleep last night. I did try but it was harder. So I went out and watched the stars, all sorts of stuff in my head. I wondered about stuff people can do only at night. I ended up ordering a projector screen, and I’m gonna try to make like a mini outdoor movie area over by the zen garden. Maybe I’ll put down some towels and cushions. Maybe I could do like a picnic area over by the campsite. And an incline or stairs to get up there easier? Money isn’t an object but as long as I put work into it I’ll be able to pull it off.

Eventually I passed out and woke up again past noon. It’s hot as satan’s asscrack outside so I barely wanna work. I guess I could work on sewing again? Maybe make some patterns for a picnic blanket? It’s pretty fun to work so delicately. I’ll give embroidery a shot.

I worked on sewing stuff until it got dark again, and then went ahead and made a spot to put a staircase to get up to the campsite. The terraforming was a little nerve wrecking but not that bad. I was on the ground floor this time so no risk of falling. My ankle feels fine. But that’s all I did for now. I guess the rest will be for when I have a bit more energy and get the things I ordered in.

I keep telling myself to keep moving, but I often get caught in my own head. It’s a bit harder when I need to take more breaks to stay off my ankle. Eventually I’ll drag myself to Nook so he can look at it again. It’s sort of sore. If I walk too much it gets a little worse. Checks out, I guess.

The Body Shop Apricot and Caramel Apple Lip Balm

1990s

Man I’m so depressed.

I thought I’d be over it but I’m not. I’ve just been in bed, I didn’t even journal yesterday. I didn’t think I’d be so helpless. I’m back to being in bed with a broken ankle. Alone with my journal and VHS tapes. It’s tempting to just shove my face in a pillow again. But I’ve been through this. Depression is a familiar foe and I’ve learned how I can fight it. I just have to will myself to move. There’s some terraforming to do. I just have to get up.

I have a trick, whenever I feel like my body doesn’t wanna move. It usually works, although its effectiveness is slightly limited with a foot I can’t move. But I start by wiggling my fingers and my toes, then roll my wrists and ankles, then stretch at my knees and elbows, then I can move my arms and legs. It’s usually a little easier to get up after that.

I just went on a walk, even though it was probably 105 degrees out. I didn’t mind too terribly much, was more focused on trying to be in the moment and look at what I had to do. I haven’t been working so naturally it means there’s more to do. I rested on the beach and wrote. I don’t think I’ve ever appreciated how soft sand can be. Although it’s really hot outside of the shade. I should do something else with the beaches.

I walked around and visited my neighbors, they were glad to see me walking around. They told me they missed seeing me. It was nice to speak to them too. Although I’m sure I looked a little disheveled. I’m glad they’re kind regardless. It makes this feel a little better. I’m not alone.