𝙟𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙖 𝙜𝙖𝙢𝙚𝙗𝙤𝙮

Hanna   stays   tucked   against   him   for   a   moment   after   he   speaks,   listening   to   the   uneven   edge   in   his   voice.   It   catches   her   off   guard   a   little   ,   not   the   words   themselves,   but   the   fact   that   Jay   sounds   nervous   saying   them.   Like   he’s   waiting   for   her   to   pull   away.   Like   he’s   preparing   himself   for   disappointment   before   she’s   even   answered.   Her   hand   slides   from   his   chest   to   the   side   of   his   neck,   thumb   brushing   lightly   beneath   his   jaw.   Hanna   lifts   her   head   enough   to   look   at   him   properly,   still   close   enough   that   their   noses   nearly   touch.

when she speaks his name, it brings him back into the moment. like he can breathe again after holding back, after over thinking and panicking and worrying himself over scenarios that haven't come to fruition yet. her gentle confidence is something he's immediately drawn to, he finds, and jay tilts his head into the soft touches she offers. the words only bring him more peace of mind -- honestly, he should've expected it. there's something about his brain that gets too attached too fast, it makes him nervous when things escalate so quickly when it comes to intimacy. he never wants to leave someone high and dry, and hanna has thoroughly worked her way under his skin and into his heart.

so, when she settles against him, he shifts, holds her a little closer with a soft exhale. ❛ good, ❜ he says first, head shaking as his lips crack into a grin. ❛ i mean -- that you -- that we, ❜ he gestures between them, ❛ want... the same thing. ❜ he's a little giddy when the words leave his mouth, and jay ducks down, presses a soft kiss to the top of her head before she reaches out to fiddle with his lip ring. it makes him smile, makes his head turn to press an even softer kiss to the pad of her finger. ❛ older? ❜ he repeats, brow raised. ❛ barely, ❜ he tacks on. ❛ i don't -- you know that doesn't matter to me. you're an incredible person, hanna. you're so... smart, and confident, and, ❜ he pauses, voice lowering to a bashful tone, ❛ and sexy. it blows my mind. the fact that someone like you would be interested in me? ❜ the arm around her gives her a gentle squeeze. ❛ that's the real mystery, jagi. trust me. ❜

His   forehead   bumping   lightly   against   Jay’s   before   he   leans   back   enough   to   look   at   him   properly.   His   fingers   stay   linked   with   Jay’s,   thumb   brushing   over   his   knuckles   without   thinking   about   it.   “Good.”   he   says   simply   at   first.   Honest.   Immediate.   There’s   no   hesitation   in   it,   no   awkward   pause   while   he   searches   for   the   right   thing   to   say.   Hwan’s   expression   softens   instead,   eyes   moving   over   Jay’s   face   like   he’s   trying   to   memorize   it   all   over   again,   the   grin,   the   damp   hair   stuck   to   his   forehead,   the   way   he   always   seems   to   curl   closer   without   realizing   it.   “Because   I   don’t   want   the   toned-down   version   of   you.”   His   hand   slides   up   Jay’s   arm   slowly,   warm   from   the   water.   “I   want   all   of   it.   The   talking   too   much,   overthinking,   getting   excited   over   dumb   stuff,   all   of   it.”   Another   small   smile   pulls   at   the   corner   of   his   mouth.   “Anyone   who   made   you   feel   like   you   were   hard   to   handle   was   probably   just   too   lazy   to   try.”   The   words   come   out   casually,   but   he   means   them.   Completely.

  At   the   feeling   of   water   running   down   his   chest,   Hwan   glances   down   briefly   before   snorting   under   his   breath   as   Jay   rinses   him   off   with   exaggerated   care.   “Wow.   Service   here   is   incredible.”   He   squeezes   Jay’s   hand   after   their   fingers   lace   together   again,   then   leans   in   to   press   one   quick   kiss   against   the   side   of   his   neck.   “Bed   sounds   better.”   he   agrees,   already   shifting   to   stand   despite   clearly   not   wanting   to   let   go   of   him   yet.

the words calm his brain down in a way he didn't know he was searching for. there's something so raw and honest in the way hwan talks to him, his words always laced with a quiet tone of disbelief in the way jay was treated. ( and he never shares to illicit any kind of response -- jay just can't hold back when it comes to being honest. and something like that is important, he thinks, if he wants this to last. and he does, more than anything else in the entire world. ) so, he's a little shy, but grateful, when hwan offers gentle words of reassurance. and he goes to say thank you again, but stops himself -- hwan doesn't do it to be nice, his brain reminds him. he does it because he cares. because he loves him. and as unbelievable as that is, jay settles into the comforting of knowing. of not having to ask and second guess and run shy. instead, he can just exist in this feeling. and he likes that.

he's about to stand, fingers absolutely pruning from the now luke warm water, when hwan helps him up. and, wordlessly, does he pick him up. jay's lips part on a soft noise of surprise as he's hoisted into the air, and his legs automatically move to wrap around hwan's waist without a second thought. he squeezes, just once, to ensure that he won't fall. his arms easily loop around hwan's shoulders, too, one hand sliding up to rest in the damp hair at the nape of his neck. ❛ you're full of surprises, aren't you? ❜ he teases, a twinkle in his eyes as he looks down to meet his boyfriend's gaze. ( because jay is not small by any means, but hwan never seems to find any difficultly in hoisting him around like he's weightless. it makes something stir in his stomach, but jay pushes it down. for now, anyways. )

❛ i'll take full responsibility if you melt away, ❜ he presses on, dropping a soft kiss to the top of hwan's forehead. ❛ but i think you're gonna make it. and thank god, too -- i don't think i can take another one of those looks from your manager. ❜ it's said with a hint of humor, but the blush that spreads across the bridge of his nose says otherwise. because yes, it's a good joke between them, but sometimes jay has to wonder just how far they can push it before there's an inevitable punishment. he pushes the thought away with a shake of his head, and jay holds steadfast onto his boyfriend until he can be lowered onto the bed, the comforter soft against his skin. ❛ and we don't ... have to get dressed, right? ❜ he adds on, the same glint in his eyes swirling as his lips tug into a smug grin.

the  word  please  does  something  to  him.  it  always  does,  coming  from  jay  —  but  like  this,  with  the  weight  of  the  evening  pressing  down  on  both  of  them,  it  lands  differently.  hwan  exhales  through  his  nose,  slow  and  measured,  even  as  something  in  his  chest  pulls  tight.  his  green  eyes  stay  fixed  on  jay's  face,  reading  him  the  way  he  always  does,  cataloguing  the  flush  of  his  skin  and  the  dark  of  his  eyes  and  the  way  his  breath  comes  unsteady.  he  is  always  so  careful  here.  always  watching,  always  making  sure.  his  hand,  the  one  still  pressed  to  jay's  nape,  shifts.  fingers  curl  gently  against  his  jaw  instead,  tilting  his  face  just  slightly,  holding  it  like  something  worth  holding.  hwan  doesn't  rush.  he  doesn't  answer  right  away,  either,  just  looks  at  him,  the  way  he  will  sometimes,  when  he  needs  a  moment  to  let  the  feeling  settle  before  he  acts  on  it.

and  the  feeling  right  now  is  a  lot.  jay  in  his  lap,  the  taste  of  blood  still  shared  between  their  mouths,  the  slow  rock  of  his  hips  that  hwan  has  made  no  move  to  stop.  you  drive  me  crazy,  jay  had  said.  hwan  thinks  it  goes  both  ways.  has  always  gone  both  ways.  ❛  i  know  you  will.  ❜  he  says  finally,  voice  low  and  unhurried,  responding  to  the  trust  jay  had  handed  him  so  easily,  so  willingly.  not  a  question.  a  certainty.  he  knows  jay  will  tell  him.  and  jay  knows  hwan  will  listen.  that's  the  foundation  of  it,  the  part  that  makes  all  the  rest  of  this  possible.  his  thumb  brushes  along  the  line  of  his  jaw,  just  once.  ❛  i've  got  you.  ❜  it's  not  elaborate.  it  doesn't  need  to  be.  hwan  has  never  been  someone  who  reaches  for  more  words  than  the  moment  requires.

when hwan holds him like this, jay has to wonder what he did to be admired so softly. to be cared for in a way that makes him delicate to handle, makes hwan's fingers move along his jaw line so carefully to ensure he's not hurt. to make sure that he's not asking for too much. ( because while jay is slowly but surely learning patience when it comes to his partner, there's always the burning desire right underneath his skin of more, more, more. when it comes to something like this, it has to be measured. has to be taken seriously so jay doesn't hurt himself. soon, he thinks, that part won't matter as much. but until they get there, he must learn restraint. and hwan is always so willing to guide him, to teach him in ways that make him so positively certain that he's chosen to spend the rest of his life with the right person. )

his lips curl into a soft smile, his head still tilted just enough that jay can press a soft kiss to hwan's temple as he settles in the comfort of his neck. ❛ i know you do, yeobo, ❜ he encourages, fingers threading softly through the hair at the nape of his neck. ❛ i trust you, ❜ he repeats, tacking on a quiet, ❛ i love you, ❜ for good measure. simply because he can. when hwan's teeth pierce his neck again, there's a soft exhale of relief. he's gotten used to the initial spark of pain to the point, now, where he welcomes it. encourages it with open arms as hwan begins to take. he's a little lost in it, in the way he's encouraged closer while hwan drinks, takes his time in adjusting to their position. to jay's taste. ( he's always said he's sweet -- jay has to wonder just how sweet he is. if that'll change. )

he takes his guidance seriously once his focus is back. eyes closed, he exhales softly through his nose, keeps himself upright as his hips begin to press down, like hwan asked. the movements are slow, careful, measured. he's gentle in the way he rocks their bodies together, in the way he can feel them both beginning to strain against their underwear. but there's no rushed movements to fix it, to alleviate the sudden tension between them. no -- he's doing exactly what hwan wants. he's letting him take his time -- letting him keep jay in this space. floaty, suspended, affectionate beyond all belief. the grip on his hair tightens just so when he gets a particularly good angle, his hips rolling roughly of their own accord. ❛ feels so good, aegiya, ❜ he encourages, pressing down to keep hwan exactly where he is.

Hwan  watches  Jay  come  apart  beneath  him  and  feels  something  shift  in  his  chest,  quiet  and  sure,  like  a  door  clicking  shut  that  he  hadn't  realized  was  open.  He  lets  his  hips  roll  forward  in  answer  first,  slow  and  deep,  his  grip  tightening  around  Jay's  cock  as  he  works  him  through  the  wave  of  sensation  he  can  feel  building.  He  thinks  he  is  growing  addicted  to  the  way  Jay  looks  and  pleads,  how  he  whispers  back  nicknames  and  he  has  an  instance  of  wondering  how  he  would  ever  quit  him  after  thim.  He  doesn't  want  to  entertain  the  thought,  instead,  pistons  out  of  him  once  and  drives  in  deeper  again  in  turn,  welcoming  that  unfamiliar  yet  familiar  welcoming  heat.  "Yeah,"  he  breathes  against  the  corner  of  Jay's  jaw,  lips  dragging  over  skin  that's  warm  and  damp.  "God,  keep  saying  it  like  that  and  I  will.  Every  damn  day,  baby.  I'll  have  you  in  every  part  of  this  house  if  I  could."  It  comes  out  lower  than  intended,  rougher  at  the  edges.

He  means  it  the  way  Jay  means  his  promises,  completely,  without  the  performance  of  it.  His  thumb  drags  slow  over  the  head  of  Jay's  cock,  a  deliberate  counterpoint  to  the  pace  he's  keeping,  feeling  the  way  Jay  tightens  around  him  like  he's  trying  to  keep  him  there.  Like  being  empty  is  something  neither  of  them  can  afford  anymore.  Hwan  understands  the  feeling.  More  than  he'd  like  to  admit  out  loud.  He  pulls  back  just  enough  to  look  at  him.  Jay's  head  is  tipped  back,  fingers  curling  at  his  shoulders  like  anchors,  and  Hwan  feels  the  full  weight  of  the  want  that's  been  sitting  in  his  chest  for  however  many  days  they  spent  apart.  He  had  kept  himself  busy.  It  hadn't  worked.  He  thinks  about  saying  that,  decides  the  way  he  rolls  his  hips  forward  says  it  better,  slow  and  certain,  nothing  casual  about  it.

every promise sounds better than the last. jay's body reacts before his mind, his hips rolling and his hole clenching around hwan in a way that signals please don't leave. he can't say it with mouth -- not yet, anyways. and he's not sure he has to, even with the constant bubbling fear that sits in the back of his mind. that he's too much. the way that hwan looks at him, holds him close, promises that he wants him here for as long as they can have each other -- it makes that voice softer. makes his mind a little clearer, lighter when he moans his appreciation. his smile is lopsided and a little dreamy, and the grip he has on hwan's hair tightens just so when he nods his head. ❛ you should, ❜ he breathes, voice quiet despite the power in his words. ❛ you can -- have me. i -- if you... want me to stay, ❜ he pauses, brows creased on a particularly harsh thrust, ❛ then i will. won't leave until we're both -- both satisfied. ❜ ( he has a feeling that day will never come, but keeps that thought to himself for now. )

and when jay thinks he's asking for too much, hwan simply agrees. doesn't hesitate to give him exactly what he wants with soft, gentle encouragement. it makes him feel so... free. being able to ask for things he'd never usually say out loud. because able to exist in this space in a way he never had before -- in a way that makes him feel so good. so safe. so cared for. it tugs at his chest for a moment, and jay leans in to seal their lips together, unable to keep himself apart from the other man for much longer. ❛ i'll show you, ❜ he promises against his mouth, pants heavy and hot where they land against hwan's own parted lips. ❛ show you after, keep it all inside, like a good boy. ❜ the words send another shiver down his spine -- they hold a different weight on his own tongue. they're a promise, a message he intends to deliver. something he wants to prove to himself, and to hwan.

as he speaks, he feels it. the way his stomach clenches, the way his legs wrap tighter around hwan's side. he attempts to keep them as close as possible, and his eyes flicker open, intent to hold hwan's gaze as he reaches his climax. because that's what matters most. there's another groan that runs through him, and jay is coming before he even realizes he's been told to do so. his body shakes as he spills over hwan's fist, his back arching to ensure that his cock stays buried deep inside of him. where it belongs. his lips part on a soft cry, a whimper at the feeling of coming down from his high, but he doesn't stop. his tired hips still move, still encourage hwan to keep going. ❛ b-baby, ❜ he pleads, tired hands pawing desperately at his chest for something to hold onto to. ❛ please, give it to me. let me feel you. ❜

His  hand  moves  with  intention,  slow  and  sure,  the  way  it  always  does  when  he  has  Jay  like  this,  unhurried,  deliberate,  like  there's  nothing  in  the  world  that  exists  outside  of  the  two  of  them  and  the  low  hum  of  whatever  song  has  long  since  faded  into  the  background.  He  watches  Jay's  face  with  tender  amusement,  simply  because  he  loves  to  slow  down  when  Jay's  patience  is  knowingly  thin  ehen  they  get  like  this.  So  he  just  works  at  his  own  pace,  intent  to  drive  Jay  insane,  to  the  point  he  ignores  his  own  pleasure,  content  to  just  have  the  friction  of  Jay's  grinds  against  his  clothes  cock,  aching  for  more. His  thumb  traces  a  slow  arc,  and  he  tips  his  chin  up  just  enough  to  press  his  mouth  to  the  hinge  of  Jay's  jaw,  a  soft,  open  thing,  no  urgency  behind  it. 

❛  Crazy.  ❜  he  echoes  back  at  him,  low  and  private  like  it's  meant  only  for  the  space  between  them.  ❛  You  say  that  like  I'm  not  the  one  who  can't  think  straight  when  you  look  at  me.  ❜  His  grip  tightens  a  fraction,  just  to  feel  the  way  Jay's  breath  catches.  He  rolls  his  wrist  and  watches  the  smile  pull  at  the  corner  of  Jay's  mouth  with  something  that  sits  uncomfortably  close  to  reverence. When  Jay's  fingers  press  against  his  chest,  Hwan  exhales  through  his  nose,  the  way  he  always  is  when  Jay  makes  a  point  of  touching  him  back.  He  isn't  passive  about  it;  he  shifts,  draws  Jay  further  into  his  lap,  keeps  his  hand  moving  in  the  easy,  practiced  rhythm  that  he's  learned  belongs  to  him  now.  ❛  I've  got  you.❜  he  says,  and  he  doesn't  mean  only  right  now.  He  means  it  the  way  he  means  most  things,plainly,  without  decoration,  because  Jay  has  never  needed  it  dressed  up.

hwan's soft teasing is always welcomed in the way that jay smiles, laughs softly under his breath when he pulls him closer. and he wants to say it, he thinks, but his words are stopped when hwan tightens his grip, just enough to let jay feel something. it makes his breath hitch, his grip on hwan's shoulders tightening as his body rocks into the touch, craves the slight adjustment in pressure around his cock. ❛ b-baby, ❜ he starts, his voice a soft whine. ❛ that's not fair. ❜ ( there's no real heat in the way he complains, of course -- if anything, it only makes jay move against hwan with more insistence. his hips search for relief in the way he grinds against hwan's still clothed cock, but he makes no move to free him. not yet. if hwan wanted to, he'd do it himself -- he has to imagine that he's saving it for later. for when he's inside of him. and the anticipation makes him whine a little louder, lips pressing soft kisses along the crown of hwan's head at the thought. )

there's a lilt in his voice when he speaks next, a smug smile that threatens to stretch across his face when he looks down, catches hwan's eyes with his own. ❛ doing what? ❜ he attempts, though he knows full well what his fiancé means. what his word imply. and jay always intends to follow through his promise of slow -- of having nothing else to worry about and nowhere else to go -- but the edge of hwan's tone always sends him to a place of urgency. of wanting everything at once, almost wanting it too much. ducking down, he steals a kiss, lets it linger until he can press their noses together in a softer act of intimacy. something to ground him, he thinks.

when hwan's hand moves over the curve of his ass, jay knows his patience is wearing thin. the teasing at his hole as him immediately twitching in his hold, and jay's head shakes immediately to show his confirmation. his obedience. ❛ n-no, ❜ he states through shaky breaths. ❛ no -- didn't touch myself -- waited for you, aegiya. always wait for you. ❜ his eyes narrow, focus on hwan's green ones as he exhales slowly. ❛ nothing feels as good as you do. nothing fills me up the way you do. ❜ rocking back, jay tries to catch his finger again, tries to show him with actions just how badly he means the words that leave his mouth. ❛ will you touch me? please? i --, ❜ he presses kisses against the apple of his cheek, down towards the column of his throat. his teeth and tongue work to suck a patch of skin into his mouth, intent to leave a mark behind. something for them, because they have nothing to hide anymore. ( the ring on his finger makes him sure of that. ) ❛ wanna make you feel good, he finishes, rocks his hips down to press himself against hwan fully. open me up so i can feel you, yeobo. ❜