𝙟𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙖 𝙜𝙖𝙢𝙚𝙗𝙤𝙮

seonghwa  laughs  a  little  and  shakes  his  head.  ❝  no,  i  guess  you  can't.  not  unless  you  were  superman.  ❞  he  retorts,  giggles  even  more  when  jay  brings  up  his  [  …  ]  less  than  stellar  skills  when  it  came  to  things  like  this.  which  was  true,  seonghwa  was  the  better  half  when  it  came  to  decision  making.  it  was  just  something  he  had  to  get  used  to  and  perfect  as  heir.

he  feels  his  shoulders  sag⸺as  if  the  weight  of  his  anxieties  finally  crushed  the  strong  muscles  and  caused  them  to  slump.  his  hand  raises  to  cup  the  side  of  his  face  as  he  massages  over  his  temples,  exhales  carefully  as  he  lets  those  words  blanket  over  him.  jay  was  right,  he  didn't  have  to  carry  this  burden  by  himself  anymore.  not  when  he  had  someone  like  jay  in  his  life  to  confide  in.  and  how  lucky  he  was  [  …  ]

❝  it's  just  hard.  i'm  so  tired  all  the  time.  ❞  seonghwa  begins,  his  voice  barely  above  a  whisper  as  he  keeps  his  eyes  down,  locked  onto  his  hands  as  he  fiddles  with  his  fingers.  ❝  everyone  has  what  they  want  me  to  be,  abeoji's  becoming  more  insistent  on  shoving  his  own  expectations  down  my  throat,  how  he  wants  me  to  start  going  on  more  blind  dates  with  people  he's  set  me  up  with  and  it  drives  me  crazy.  why  can't  i  do  what  i  want?  why  can't  i  be  who  i  want  to  be?  ❞  he  asks,  voice  tinged  with  almost  desperation  as  he  looks  up  at  jay.  ❝  i  don't  even  want  to  do  this  …  any  of  it.  it's  not  fair.  ❞

he's quiet, lets seonghwa work through whatever is blocking him from telling the truth. he knows things like this don't always come easy to his brother -- their upbringings were vastly different, after all. jay was raised to always be open and honest with how he felt. seonghwa never got that chance. he's been an adult since he was a kid -- it makes his heart ache for his brother. makes him wish he could turn back time to make sure they both got to leave together. like they deserved.

so when he starts speaking, laying everything out with such vulnerability, jay can't help the way his eyes shine over. always sensitive. there's a moment where he stays quiet, his hand resting on top of seonghwa's to give him something to hold onto to. to ground himself to in the moment. his shoulders sag on a soft sigh, and jay nods his understanding, sits up a little to make sure seonghwa knows he has his full attention. ❛ i'm sorry, ❜ he says first, the words honest when they're spoken. ❛ i -- it's not... fair for anyone to tell you how to live your life, nonetheless the people who're supposed to love you unconditionally. because you've done nothing wrong. ❜ ( and maybe he has rose colored glasses on, but maybe he's right. maybe seonghwa's biggest crime was being human, and that's not a punishable offense. )

❛ screw the blind dates, ❜ he tacks on, somewhat harshly. ❛ i -- anything i can do to help, hyungie, you know i'll do it. i don't mind helping you at work, ❜ he trails off, ❛ maybe.. i can take some of that burden away from you, too. i can scare people away, or something. in a very.. chill way, i think, ❜ he shakes his head, laughing softly. ❛ all this to say, ❜ he shakes himself back into the present, ❛ i'm here for you. and i know you know that, and your friends are here for you, too. seriously -- you can talk to me about stuff whenever you want. i don't want it to just... build up and make you shut down, y'know? ❜

your monthly dose of bts : jeon jungkook

Daehyun  should  have  expected  this  the  second  Jay  grabbed  his  hand  outside  the  restaurant  and  refused  to  let  go  the  entire  ride  home.  The  apartment  door  had  barely  shut  before  Jay  was  on  him,  all  restless  hands  and  desperate  kisses,  like  he'd  been  holding  himself  back  for  hours  and  finally  snapped.  Daehyun  stumbled  back  with  a  quiet  laugh  against  Jay’s  mouth,  hands  catching  at  his  waist  before  they  both  dropped  onto  the  couch  in  a  mess  of  limbs.  And  god,  Jay  was  always  like  this  with  him.  Honest  in  the  worst  ways.  Every  feeling  written  all  over  his  face  before  he  even  spoke.

Daehyun  let  him  squirm  for  a  moment  after  pinning  his  wrists  back,  watching  the  way  Jay’s  body  reacted  to  the  smallest  amount  of  restraint.  The  shaking  breath.  The  flushed  cheeks.  The  needy  roll  of  his  hips  that  pulled  a  low  exhale  from  Daehyun’s  chest.  “Patient.”  he  repeated,  voice  rough  with  amusement  more  than  warning.  “You’re  trying  very  hard  to  convince  me  you  don’t  know  what  that  word  means.”  Jay  whining  against  his  throat  nearly  broke  whatever  resolve  he  had  left.  Daehyun  tilted  his  head  slightly  to  give  him  room  to  kiss  along  his  neck,  fingers  tightening  instinctively  around  his  wrists  when  Jay  pushed  up  again.  He  could  feel  how  worked  up  he  was  already,  and  that  alone  made  heat  settle  low  in  his  stomach.  Then  Jay  started  talking.  That  always  got  him  worse  than  anything  else.

he can't breathe. he can't think. all of jay's senses are flooded with daehyun, daehyun, daehyun. it makes him whimper, makes him want to fight back so badly from where he's trapped under the older man. ( but he knows better. or, at the very least, he should know better. right now, the only thing he can focus on is how badly he's straining in his pants. on the way that dae stares down at him, his eyes still soft around the edges when he leans in to give him only a taste of what he truly wants. ) his head tilts to the side, attempting to chase those lips he cannot stop staring at. because he's sure dae is talking, but there's nothing in his brain that supplies he knows what he's saying. and maybe that's a bad thing, but he can't helped. right now, the only thing he wants is to sink into the other man's presence, over and over again, until the early hours of the morning.

one hand remains pinned when dae offers him a touch, fingers curling against the soft curve of his waist. jay whines, his head shaking as his hips roll up once more. ( god, he doesn't know why he's always like this. why he's so eager to chase, to want. especially when it came to daehyun. something about him drove jay's brain into overdrive, incapable of thinking clearly. ) ❛ h-hyung, ❜ he whines, teeth worrying his lower lip. ❛ wanna touch you more, ❜ he clarifies, though he's not sure if his point is getting across. the only thing he can do is grind up against him, let daehyun feel just how badly he's affecting him.

and when he offers him an answer? jay is immediately nodding. ❛ yeah, ❜ he says without hesisation. ❛ yeah, yes -- god, please let me. let me make you feel so good, hyung -- i've been thinkin' about it all night. just wanna, ❜ he pauses, brows pinched as his hand flexes against the hold. ❛ just wanna watch you fall apart. ❜ he leans up, then, and presses a fleeting kiss to the column of daehyun's throat. ❛ let me up, ❜ he encourages, ❛ and let me show you how good i can be. don't you want that? ❜ nosing along his jaw, he catches dae's eyes with his own -- wide, pleading, obedient. ❛ can't i make hyung feel good? ❜

Hanna  watches  the  change  in  his  face  the  second  the  words  leave  her  mouth.  The  blush,  the  way  he  looks  at  her  after,  all  open  and  wanting.  It  makes  something  tight  twist  low  in  her  stomach.  He’s  always  so  eager  with  her,  so  ready  to  give,  and  she  likes  what  that  does  to  him.  Likes  how  easily  he  melts  when  she  guides  him  where  she  wants  him.  The  kiss  pulls  a  quiet  sound  from  her  throat,  slower  this  time,  messy  in  the  way  their  mouths  part  and  meet  again.  Her  fingers  slide  into  his  hair  as  he  settles  back  against  the  pillows,  and  Hanna  follows  the  pull  of  his  hands  without  resistance.  The  skirt  bunches  higher  over  her  thighs  while  she  shifts  over  him,  knees  pressing  into  the  mattress  beside  his  ribs.“  Do  I  always  taste  that  good  for  you,  baby?”  she  murmurs,  though  there’s  no  real  warning  in  it.

watching her descend on him happens in slow motion. jay's eyes are dark, blown out with lust and want the closer hanna gets to him. there's no restraint, no shame in the way he looks up at her. the way his lips part on a soft sigh when she hovers above him, brackets his head with her legs, and slowly lowers herself onto his waiting mouth to give him his well earned prize. his arms slide down to hook under her legs, give her some support ( and give himself something to hold onto ) while she settles. the skirt is soft, bunched up around her waist, and jay's fingers slowly move to push her underwear aside -- to see her fully. he moans when he realizes just how wet she is -- how the act of going down on him got her this hot and bothered. he's not sure he'll ever understand the effect he has on her, but he knows better than to overthink, to question it.

instead, his eyes flicker close, and jay's tongue moves out slowly to lick teasingly against her skin. her words are answered with a soft groan -- because of course she does. he's sure it shows on his face, the way his skin is suddenly flushed, the way he squeezes at her legs, encourages her to get comfortable on top of him. he's careful at first, pressing open mouthed kisses against her core. his tongue moves to collect the slick that's already formed, and jay doesn't hide the way he moans against her skin as he slides down, presses his tongue inside as best he can. ❛ j-jagiya, ❜ he breathes, voice rough and quiet from underneath her. ❛ you -- give yourself something to... hold onto. ❜ a hand moves to take her free one, slides it up to his hair with a gentle press of her fingers against his scalp. ❛ it's okay -- i won't -- it doesn't... hurt. please. ❜