#formerfriend

I had this Friend who I knew since 2007, who I had gotten to know pretty well to the point that we kinda became close Friends as we shared a lot of the same interests & hobbies with the Renaissance Faires.

His name was Fred & he liked to do Theatrical Jousting at Renaissance Faires a over the country & be paid to do that. We used to talk a lot on Instant Messenger, we would try to support each other from wherever we were. When Fred was Stranded on the side of the road with a flat tire & only had enough money either for a new tire or to get gas to put in his car, I sent him some money to his paypal account so that he could buy gas & get home safely.

Fred & I were Friend’s when he somehow broke his prone & needed to get a new one, but couldn’t afford a new phone…

So to help Fred out, I found him a slightly used phone for the Carrier Network he used that was a similar model like the one he wanted to buy new, but it really made me made when he complained that it wasn’t new…, um hello Fred, its called “Beggars can’t be choosers” & is why you shouldn’t kick a gift horse in the mouth when someone is just trying to be nice to you & instead of thanking them you find something to complain about instead…

We were friends up until 2012 in February when was Really immature when he had finally gotten himself a Girlfriend, as he had told me that “He couldn’t have both a Close Friend & a Girlfriend as we would fight", which was not true as I only wanted the Best for him…

Fred said some VERY hurtful things to me around that time, which stung & hurt me so bad that I had walked out of his life as a Friend & had no Contact with him whatsoever, either by phone, text messages, Facebook, or in Person for about 6-8 Months…

I was just literally Numb & deeply hurt that he was simply willing to throw our friendship away like it meant nothing to him & then act like He & I had Never even been Friends in the First Place…

It turns out that his Girlfriend really wasn’t that interested in him for whatever Reason & ended up leaving him before a Big Jousting Tournament that he was competing in, & he was upset because Fred had bought his girlfriend a ticket to the Joust Tournament & that she didn’t even bother to come…

If Fred had acted like a Reasonable person & understood that You can have Many friends in your Life that are not just a Significant Other, but he viewed this Issue as Black & White with no Gray areas & believed that he could only have one or the Other but not both….

So Now Fred ended up losing Both of us (Both me as a friend, & his Girlfriend) after Everything that happened, & Resulted in Fred sinking into Depression or something like that I was told by a Mutual Friend to both Fred & I, but I stayed away from Fred & let himself sort himself out as I just plain could not take anymore pain on as I was already dealing with enough as it was at the time with My grandfather (my mom’s dad) dying from Cancer…

It wasn’t until August that I even spoke to Fred again via a Text Message on my phone, asking me if we could talk… At the time this happened my Grandfather has just died about a week prior, & was still having a really hard time getting on with things…, I was managing but not really myself at that point…

Fred & I then remained Friends up until March of 2013 when Fred got himself another Girlfriend, but this time things were worse than they were before…

Fred had somehow got it in his head that it was ok to treat me a his own personal verbal “punching bag” of sorts & became a “Verbally Abusive Friend” & it was the worst thing he could have done to me…

It was the betrayal of how he turned on me when it was no longer “convenient” for him to be a Friend that hurt me the most…

Fred damaged the Foundation of our Friendship so badly that I felt it was a Total Loss & beyond repair, So I just left Fred behind & kept on walking down this Path that unfolded in front of Me, I don’t really know what’s down this road just jet, but I really hope its something good that will make Fred say “Man, I wish I was still Friends with her”…

Though All I can do really do right now is just keep on walking & hold my head high, as if Fred isn’t willing to “Take the Time to be a Friend” then he cannot expect to have friends when he doesn’t do that for others as it just isn’t going to end well…

...And now to this day, I have him Blocked from Calling or Texting me on my iPhone, as well as Blocking him from being able to message me on my Facebook page... In all honesty, I just got tired of dealing with his "Constant Drama"...

I saw you at the party the other night. You drank and joked with the rest of them. You chatted and consoled me after I told you and my other friends of my bad day. You grabbed my arm in supposed sympathy but I noticed the hidden meaning behind it. I stayed sober all night because I was recovering from a cold but I saw you and my other friends succumb to drink and good times. I was supposed to leave with you and the others on the train back to the city sometime after midnight, and you grabbed my hips and forced me into your lap as we were getting ready to leave. Your semi pushed up against my ass and I quickly jumped away. I couldn't believe what you had just done to me, and that no one else around us noticed what had just happened. I shrugged it off as you being drunk but as I was getting my coat you put your hand on my side and squeezed. I looked up at you and you winked at me, as if you were being clever. I turned to my close friend and asked to sleep over so I wouldn't have to be exposed to your forward behavior all night. She hugged me and let me sleep on her couch. I told her husband (and my friend) what had happened the next morning and he promised to keep an eye out in the future. He suggested I not go out drinking with you again (and in so doing, ignore all of my other friends that I hang out with while drinking with you).

I went out to a bar tonight to say goodbye to a friend Rich* who was moving away, and you were there. You winked at me when you saw me sitting with people and moved on. I couldn't tell if you remembered that night but then as I was making my rounds saying goodbye, you made a point to get up and wait for me by the entrance. You watched me get my coat on, commenting on my attire (which was in no way sexual) and asked how I was getting home. I lied and said I was taking a cab. You stared me down as I left and I couldn't shake your eyes until I got to the bus stop. I openly cried while waiting for my ride home, disgusted with what had happened. 

I am a victim of sexual assault and I do not take these things lightly. If you start to treat me as anything less than a person, I lose all respect for you. If you see me as an object that you wish to control and not a living, breathing person with ambitions, feelings, passions, and dare I say pie in the sky dreams that I clearly am, you are no longer someone I can be around. You see things through a selective lens, one that allows you to put yourself first and not think about your actions and the consequences that they have on the people around you. I have known you for the better part of a year, and you have never tried anything with me until you heard that I am no longer in a relationship. A relationship I might add that I have been in for years. Not months, not weeks, but the better part of five years. And at the exact moment you realize that I am a single woman at a party you instantly turn into a predator on the prowl.

Just because I'm cute and young you think you have a chance with me. I can see through your bullshit smile and your cocky attitude down to your disturbing inner being and you know what I see? A person who puts on a persona around friends in order to be liked because he doesn't like who he is when he's not around them. A person who sees the fairer sex as an item of conquest and not as a being equal if not better than your weaker mind and massive ego.

You are a smudge on the canvas of my life, and you are ruining my masterpiece. I have big ambitions and am passionate about everything in my life. What are you besides an attractive guy with a primal attitude? Nothing. You have lost my respect and in doing so you have lost my friendship. If I see you again and you try anything, I will whip out my can of mace so fast it will make your head spin. I know who my friends are. And that group doesn't include you. 

Sincerely,