For Inday
I don’t know if it’s because I just read your heartwarming letter for me, or because I know I might forget the words soon. Maybe it’s also because I know I won’t have the atmosphere I want and need to be able to write soon *coughs* (ASSHOLE ROOM MATES). But one thing I’m certain about is you knowing and remembering every word in this letter.
To Bianca, my dearest best friend,
When the world makes you feel worthless, know that, to me you are priceless; for making me feel the same every time you cheer me on and for investing more attention and love than I deserve, you have been someone whose worth is more than silver or gold to me, and everyone.
When you feel alone, know that I am a message away. Now we both know I don’t have load most of the time. So just eat something and convince yourself, “next time I eat this, I’m with Akari.” Do remember that that moment you feel alone— whether because of people who made you feel that way or because of your hormones, is just a split second compared to the infinite moments you shared and will share with a lot of people, so enjoy it! Don’t let it take over your happiness. Think… you might be alone now but you were never and never will be lonely with all these people around you! A moment with dozen of people is fun but memories with a few is pure bliss. Quality over quantity.
When you feel insecure, remember that you possess many qualities that lots of people admire. Trust me, I heard people say good things about you. Just not saying it because you might be big-headed. Hahahaha! It’s enough that one of us already is. Whatever it is that you are lacking that’s making you feel bad about yourself, hone it, possess it, challenge yourself to grab it or overcome it. It’s nice to work hard for something. Just like learning Saltwater Room in piano. You have to learn the chords, and with enough practice, you get to play it and it just feels satisfying.
When people hurt you, let them know that they hurt you. Don’t let the day pass without telling them off. What happened today really hurt me. It pains me to know that your group of friends have been hurting you by making you feel like you do not belong. There’s nothing more that I despise than being made to feel like garbage. It really hurt me— what happened today. Because all this time, I would sometimes think of what would happend if we studied in the same school, lived in the same dormitory. (I guess it was for the better because we have more kuwentos now when catching up with eacj other. We also had fun in our own separate colleges.) I sometimes worried whether your classmates made you feel welcome but then I did not bother to ask because I can see you sometimes enjoy their company naman. But then sometimes I see your group photos on Facebook and most of the time, you look out of place in the photos 60% of the time. But what hurts me most is that I did nothing about it. I never asked how you felt. I was too self-centered that I know I hurt your feelings sometimes too and I myself, have one way or another made you feel all these things. Because of that, I apologize.
I want you to know that I can be your sponge too. You don’t have to carry all the burden. Even if I don’t seem like it, I am always eager to listen. I really am.
Basta always remember that even if the time comes that I make tampo to you, I will always listen because I love you.
For making me feel loved and special, for boosting my confidence a hundred times more, for being my partner in crime and for more, thank you.
There’s a lot more that I want to say to you, but we have a lot of years ahead so why rush?
For now, here’s to more years of friendship!
