Dec 28, 2016
Feel like shit, so have an oldie
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Feel like shit, so have an oldie
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Double Digits
Because I asked her: what do you think about them? She replied: what did you mean by "them"? I said: girls that have hit double digits... Then she simply replied: if you are in the double digits gang, you'll be in the double digits forever, which means that you'll be always looked as someone that never had, never is, and never will respect themselves. And to be honest, people on the double digits will keep being like that and hitting more and more and more people, till they just realize how alone, how gross and how bad their decisions have been made. Regrets will be a huge role in this play. Sarcastically: KEEP IT UP!! 💀
💌💌💌
I literally just want to write and write tonight, this record has been playing over and over for what seems like forever my mind is racing and my book is getting full… Someone talk to me, I feel I need to be distracted.
A little less logic and a bit too much heart.
I think I’m blind to most things that are presented to me on a platter. I was told about how things fall apart, multiple times. But I fought against reason. I fought against my better judgement, I fought against jealousy and gestures. I fought against what was presented to me. And I lost. I lost every battle with scars that will last me a lifetime. Till I find a new life to love and whine to and make my decisions about.
I was told it was for the best, and I can’t believe it was. I still don’t believe it was. Even when I write this with a conclusive mind, my heart refuses to cooperate. Fucking feelings. Fucking chemical reactions in the brain. Fucking hormones that act without thinking. It’s almost like my own body was conspiring against me. How my brain knew better and still didn’t take over. How my heart felt every hurt but refused to feel it enough.
Not anymore though. I can’t do it anymore. I can’t. I just can’t. I can’t cry another tear. I can’t feel any worse. I can’t go back. I just can’t. It was always a waste of time, I guess. I was stupid. Always have been.
But, tomorrow will be the same. And I’ll wake up a little more patient. With a little less logic and a bit more heart.Â
FOREVER FEELING. So annoying, life. So annoying.