The way Till jolts awake, startled by something that isn’t one of his usual nightmares, he knows before he even opens his eyes that something is very wrong. There’s an icy feeling that settles in his gut as the unmistakable scent of bleach burns his nose and the fluorescent white lights sear his cornea through his eyelids.
He doesn’t want to open his eyes. He wants to go back to sleep. To will this nightmare away. But stronger than the urge to lie down and surrender to the sweet abyss of unconsciousness is the urge to get up. To fight. To resist whatever this new hell is. And so he does.
Till wishes that the sight of sterile white walls and lab equipment and metal tables just long enough to lay a human body on wasn’t as familiar to him as it is. Unfortunately and fortunately, he isn’t alone, and the dark hair splayed out next to him is equally familiar.
The single spot of darkness among the blinding white is a balm to his aching eyes, as well as a suffocating weight in his chest. Looking at Ivan lying next to him, Till has to fight to keep his heart from fighting its way out of his throat.
Slowly, so slowly, with uncharacteristic quiet and caution, Till drops off his table and slinks towards Ivan’s. He doesn’t want to wake Ivan up either. He’d spare Ivan from this torturous experience if he could. But thinking back to how Ivan would sleep with his eyes open when they were children, to how alert he would try to be, even while unaware, Till knows Ivan wouldn’t be happy with him if he let his friend sleep.
And selfishly, Till needs Ivan. He needs Ivan to tell him that this is real. Tell him that Ivan is real.
Carefully, Till runs his fingers through Ivan’s hair, trying to rouse him as gently as possible back into consciousness. He doesn’t want to startle Ivan more than is strictly necessary. When Ivan opens his eyes, and they inevitably find Till’s, as they always do, Till silently places a finger to his lips, miming for quiet. He shakes his head. Till doesn’t know any more than Ivan does, and it would be useless for Till to speak only to draw attention to them.
Silently, Till stares at Ivan with wide expectant eyes. Surely Ivan will have a plan. He always has a plan.