#for this one...

It was the second week of December now, and the boys were studying hard for their end of term exams. Rose was too busy to leave the library to walk with John, but after the last boy left, she hurried down the hallway to his study.

She knocked twice, then let herself into the room as he’d instructed. John was straightening papers on his desk when she entered, and he looked up at her over the rim of his glasses.

His left eyebrow arched as he took in her appearance, and Rose reached up and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “Sorry if I’m a little disheveled,” she told him. “I’ve been running my feet off, trying to find all the books the boys need.”

John stood up and gestured at the couch situated in front of his fireplace. Tea service was set out on the coffee table, and Rose’s mouth watered at the sight.

“You look lovely,” he said firmly. “But definitely like you could use a cuppa.”

“Oh, you have no idea,” Rose mumbled as he poured two cups. She placed a scone on a plate and split it open, spreading jam onto it.

“I think two weeks courting you is enough time to learn how dependent you are on tea,” he teased as he added milk to her cup and sugar to his.

Rose chuckled and took her cup. “Oh, you should see me in the morning before I get my first cuppa.”

When John made a strange choking noise and coughed a few times, Rose realised how suggestive that statement sounded in 1913. Her face turned hot and she tried to hide it behind her cup.

“I just meant… I’m useless in the morning before I have a cuppa,” she stammered.

His face was pink, but the corners of his eyes crinkled up when he smiled. “I doubt you’re useless, but maybe one day I’ll have a chance to find out for myself.”

The Doctor’s cheek and teasing smile paired with John’s reserve sorely tempted Rose to throw herself into his arms, and she looked quickly around the room for something to distract her. Her gaze landed on a slim leather-bound book sitting on the table.

“What’s that?” she asked, pointing at it.

To her surprise, John’s blush spread down his neck. “That’s… Well…” He tugged on his tie, then set his cup down and picked up the book. “I told you about my dreams, if you’ll remember.”

“A little bit,” Rose agreed. “About living another life, travelling through space?”

John tapped his fingers against the cover. “Time and space,” he corrected absently. “I suppose I didn’t mention that I also travel in time.”

Rose swallowed back a lump in her throat. “No, I think I would have remembered that,” she said, her voice soft with memories.

“Well… I’ve written some of my dreams down, in here.” He opened the book and started flipping through the pages. “I don’t know if you’re interested…” He found what he was looking for and marked the spot with a scrap of paper.

The uncertain expression on his face tugged at Rose’s heart. “I alway want to hear your stories, John,” she said sincerely. Whether he was John Tyler or the Doctor, she loved to listen to him talk about the places he’d been.

John’s ears turned red, and he rubbed at the back of his neck before handing her the journal. “Only the section I marked though,” he insisted before he let go of it.

“Of course,” she promised, and he finally let her have it.

Rose looked at the cover and traced over the title first. “A Journal of Impossible Things,” she read aloud. Then she flipped the slim volume open to the place John had indicated, about halfway through. She caught a fleeting glimpse of the earlier pages in the book and realised most of them were filled with sketches of her. Ah, no wonder he was so adamant that I not look through the rest of his journal.

When she reached the page he’d marked, there was a sketch of a young boy in a gas mask on one side, and the words “Everybody lives!” written in bold letters on the facing page. In the Doctor’s familiar scrawl, she read the story about the mysterious gold dust that was able to turn humans into monsters.

No mention of Captain Jack, she noticed wryly. She had to stifle a giggle—it would be impossible to explain to John that she was amused by her husband’s selective memory.

“So the gold dust saved them all in the end?” she asked when she got to the last few words of the story.

John nodded. “Everybody lives. Those are the best days…” He loved the smile on Marion’s face. “I sometimes think how magical life would be if stories like this were true.”

Marion hummed in agreement. “Other planets, and miraculous gold dust that can heal all wounds? It sounds like a fairy tale.” She smiled up at him. “I think I’d like to live in that world, though.”

John beamed at her. Of course Marion understood his dreams—she understood him, better than anyone else in the universe. The words were on the tip of his tongue, but he bit them back. It was still much too soon to go confessing his love.

He cleared his throat and gestured at the journal. “The Doctor has a good life. Flying through time and space, seeing the universe, helping people along the way… There’s a bit of trouble now and then of course, but it always works out in the end.”

“Oh, I think trouble is just the bits in between,” Marion countered.

She handed the journal back to John before he could recover from once again hearing her repeat words straight out of his dream. He tried so hard to keep Rose and Marion separate in his mind, and moment like this made it almost impossible.

“John?”

He blinked and realised that Rose—no, Marion—had stood up. “Hmmm?”

“It’s time for supper. Are you going down?”

John looked at the clock on the mantel. Somehow, it was already six o’clock. “Ah. Yes, of course.” Marion waited while he pulled his suit coat on, then they walked down to the dining room together.

“So tomorrow I was thinking we could take a walk in the evening, after dinner,” John said. “There’s a meteor shower happening right now, and I’d love to look at the stars with you.”

There was a long pause before Marion answered, and her voice sounded strained when she spoke. “I would love that, John.” She smiled at him as they started down the stairs.

On the landing, a large, red invitation pinned to the bulletin board caught John’s eye. His eyes widened when he realised he’d forgotten to do one very important thing. “The village Christmas dance is the day after tomorrow.”

“Mm-hmm,” Marion agreed.

“Would you… That is, I had hoped you would go with me. But it just occurred to me that I never asked.” He rubbed at his neck and tried to avoid Marion’s gaze.

To his surprise, instead of answering, she giggled. “Oh, John,” she said fondly when he looked up at her. “I suppose you should have asked, but I’d already assumed we were going together.”

Relief swept through him. “You had?”

She nodded, then the tip of her tongue peeked out from behind her teeth as she gave him a cheeky smile. “I even have a new dress, just for the occasion.”

oOoOo

The chill December wind cut through Rose’s coat as she crept across the frozen field to the TARDIS. The sun wouldn’t rise for more than an hour yet, and even when it came up, it wouldn’t offer much warmth.

The TARDIS wasn’t much warmer, but she was warm enough for Rose’s cheeks to thaw. She knew it was risky, coming to visit the ship when they were supposed to be hiding, but she couldn’t leave the old girl alone.

Rose pulled off her glove and rested her bare hand on a strut. Hello, dear. She waited, and a moment later, she got the softest hum in reply. Just two more weeks, then we’ll be home. Oh, I’ve missed you.

She didn’t linger long. If her presence was missed at the school, it would be hard to explain where she’d been. But two weeks living under an alias had put a strain on her, and she just needed a moment to be Rose Tyler with someone who really knew her.

The ship’s hum echoed in her mind, surrounding her like a hug. Then it seemed to urge her to the door. Go, Wolf. You’ll be home soon.

After leaving, Rose patted the blue wooden door one last time, then set out through the misty grey dawn to go back to her made-up life.

oOoOo

John whistled Christmas carols as he left the library. He’d given Marion her rose, and this morning, she’d given him a book in exchange. A complete history of Cardiff hadn’t struck him as a very interesting topic, but her warm brown eyes had sparkled when she handed it to him.

“You should read over the section about the Christmas disaster,” she’d told him, indicating the page she’d marked.

Then she’d looked around, and after seeing they were alone, she’d risen up on her toes and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek. When John had put his hand to the spot and looked at her in astonishment, she blushed prettily.

“I just want you to know,” she’d whispered. “I’m so glad I met you.” She’d bitten her lip, then quickly added, “This you, now.”

A group of boys had entered the library before he could reply. He wanted to know what she’d meant by the last, cryptic remark, but she hurried over to help the pupils, and he’d waved to her and left without a word.

The door to his study was ajar when he arrived, and he greeted Martha absently as he entered the room.

“What do you have there, sir?” she asked as she dusted the mantel. She seemed to spend a lot of time dusting that particular location, but perhaps there was something about it that collected dust.

John sat down in front of the fireplace and flipped the book open to the chapter Rose had marked for him. “A book on the history of Cardiff,” he said as he skimmed the chapter on the Christmas disaster.

“Of Cardiff?” Martha turned quickly, her duster waving in the air as she moved.

John looked at up at her, and he had to bite back a smile at the disdain on her face. “Yes, Cardiff,” he replied calmly. “Marion wanted me to read about the Christmas explosion in 1869.”

“Yeah, of course she did.” Martha put her hands on her hips and glanced around the room. “Well, I think I’m done, Mr. Tyler. Will you be taking tea alone today, or shall I bring up a tray for two like I did yesterday?”

“Just me today, Martha. Thank you.” John flipped the book back open and settled in to read.

oOoOo

“Oh, it is freezing out here!” Martha exclaimed as she carried hers and Jenny’s drinks back outside. “Why can’t we have a drink inside the pub?” She’d been looking forward to this night out, but she’d forgotten that they wouldn’t be sitting inside, warmed by the pub’s cheery fire.

Jenny laughed and shook her head. “Now, don’t be ridiculous,” she admonished.

“I’m not being ridiculous,” Martha said hotly. Normally she’d try to stay quiet, but the daily reminders of how much the Doctor loved Rose Tyler were getting under her skin. She just couldn’t stand to be condescended to, not even by her friend. “We don’t deserve to be treated like this, Jenny. We’re people, just like those men.”

Jenny narrowed her eyes, and Martha had the uncomfortable sensation that she was being studied. A gust of wind swept through the garden and an owl hooted in the background while Martha waited for Jenny to say something.

Finally, Jenny said, “I think I know what’s really upsetting you, and it isn’t sitting out in the cold.”  

Martha shifted on the rough wooden bench and pulled her coat tighter around herself. “Because that’s not enough?”

Jenny shook her head. “You’ve been upset for at least a week now… but I think it’s more like two weeks, ever since Miss Smith arrived.”

Martha could feel her face grow hot, and she took a drink of her beer to hide her red cheeks.

“See, I knew it.” Jenny leaned back and crossed her arms over her chest, a smirk on her face. “You tried to say you only cared about Mr. Tyler because he was kind to you, but I knew there was more to it than that.”

“No, I just…” Martha sighed and looked up at the sky. “I just want to go home,” she whispered.

It was the first time she’d admitted it to herself. Travelling with the Doctor was never supposed to be a permanent arrangement, not for her. She had a life back in her own time, a life where she didn’t constantly feel like second best.  

Plus, the longer I’m away the harder it will be to pass my exams, she reminded herself.

A green light pulsed in the sky, and Martha straightened up, all thoughts of the Doctor and Rose and what would happen when they left 1913 forgotten.

“Did you see that?”  

Jenny looked up at the sky, then back at Martha. “See what?”

The light had faded, but Martha knew what she’d seen. It had looked just like all those supposedly faked pictures of people spotting alien landings.

She got to her feet, still staring at the sky. “Did you see it, though? Right up there, just for a second.”

“Martha, there’s nothing there.”

Familiar voices drifted towards them, coming down the road in the direction of the school. Martha narrowed her eyes and peered into the darkness, and she wasn’t surprised when Mr. Tyler and Rose came around a bend in the road.

“It was a light, John, a bright green light,” Rose insisted. She spotted Martha and pointed at the sky. “Did you see it, Martha?”

Martha nodded. Mr. Tyler sighed in amused exasperation, but the four of them all looked up at the sky, waiting for another sign that Martha and Rose weren’t just seeing something.

Their patience was rewarded a moment later when a streak of light crossed the horizon. Jenny gasped. “Oh, that’s beautiful.”

Rose turned to Mr. Tyler, tugging gently on his arm. “There, you see,” she said, and Martha suspected she was the only one who could hear the urgency under her teasing voice. “I wasn’t imagining things, John.”

Mr. Tyler smiled at her. “I never said you were, Marion. Just that it couldn’t possibly be aliens like the Doctor encounters.” He winked at her, then looked at all three women. “It was a meteor,” he explained. “Just rocks falling to the ground, that’s all.”

Martha and Rose exchanged a glance, then Rose looked back at the sky. “It looked like it came down in the woods,” she said. “That’s the direction it was going, at least.”  

Mr. Tyler shook his head. “No, no, no. No, they always look close, when actually they’re miles off. Nothing left but a cinder.”

Rose pursed her lips. She couldn’t explain it, but she knew that hadn’t been just a meteor. And while it could be a coincidence that aliens had just landed close to where the Doctor was hiding, she wouldn’t bet on it.

Years of Torchwood training came to the fore, and the only thing that kept her from haring across the fields to check it out was the certainty that John would follow her if she did. If the Family had found them, the last thing she wanted to do was lead him straight to them.

She shivered at the thought. John must have felt it, because a moment later, he dropped her hand and draped his own scarf around her neck. “You’re shivering, darling,” he murmured, forgetting their audience for a moment. “I should get you back to the school.”

He stepped back and turned slightly to address Martha and Jenny. “Would either of you ladies like an escort back?”

Martha shook her head. “No, we’re fine, thanks.”

Rose raised her eyebrows, and Martha gave a very small nod. The knot of tension between her shoulder blades eased. If she couldn’t be the one to explore the impact site, having Martha go was the next best option.

John tipped his hat to Martha and Jenny. “Then we shall bid you goodnight.”

The walk back to the school was mostly silent. It had gotten too cold to talk comfortably, but beyond that, Rose’s mind was completely focused on the possibility that they’d been discovered. She was drawing up escape plans in her mind, going over possible contingencies and evaluating the danger of each to civilian life.

They were almost to the gates when John pulled her to a stop. “I said I wanted to show you the stars,” he said softly when Rose looked up at him. “This isn’t the vantage point I had in mind, but it will do.”

He leaned against the stone wall and pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her waist and resting his cheek against her temple. Rose closed her eyes and took a deep breath. John didn’t smell exactly like the Doctor—there was a faint scent of paper and ink clinging to him after days spent writing and grading papers—but under everything else, there was still something familiar about the way he smelled.

“Look, Marion.” John raised an arm and pointed across the open field. Hundreds of stars glittered on the inky expanse. “Can you imagine being out there, walking across alien worlds?”

A meteor shot across the sky before Rose could answer. She rested her hands on top of John’s and squeezed. “Make a wish,” she whispered.

He sighed, and a moment later, she felt his lips brush against her temple. The bond flared in response to the contact, and they both sucked in a breath.

“I already have what I wished for,” John said, his voice husky. “Marion…”

She turned and put her hands on his chest, over where his hearts would be if he weren’t human. “Yes, John.”

“Is it too early… Two weeks isn’t long enough…”

Rose’s breath caught in her throat when she realised what he was trying to say. “Maybe not for some people, but I was looking for you for so long…”

A shaft of moonlight illuminated John’s face, and she could see the wonder in his eyes. “I dreamt about you,” he admitted. “You’re there, in the Doctor’s life. No, you are the Doctor’s life. And then… you were gone, and he was lost.”

Rose pressed her lips together to hold back a sob. She didn’t know exactly which memories of their life together had seeped through into John’s dreams, but she knew the pain of that separation all too well.

He lifted his hand and a moment later, his cool glove touched her cheek as he brushed a strand of hair back over her ear. “In two weeks, you’ve become just as important to me as Rose is to the Doctor. You… you understand me, Marion. You know the things about me that I’ve never told anyone. And I…”

He closed his eyes and Rose held her breath, waiting. When he opened them, the tenderness in his gaze was so familiar that she ached. And she’d seen it recently, she realised. She’d seen it last week, when he’d helped her over a log blocking the road. Two days ago, when he’d handed her a deep red rose. And tonight, when he’d tied an extra scarf around her neck.

“And you?” she prompted. Her hands crept up over his shoulders to link loosely behind his neck.

He reached up and cupped her face between his hands. “And I love you.”

The words obviously came more easily to John than they had the Doctor, but everything else about the moment was familiar. They’d been alone then, too, staring up at the stars being pulled into a black hole. And in the quietness, he’d whispered those words so softly that Rose almost hadn’t believed her ears.