That said, everyone’s different! One thing my Psych said was that, someone who’s severely impacted by ADHD may need less medication than someone who’s less impacted. Everyone’s bodies metabolize things differently. Everyone will have somewhat different experiences. These are just what I’ve noticed from my first day on medication. 

I usually have a lot of trouble with executive function, I can’t seem to get myself to start tasks, focus on them when I do, act impulsively and all the other ‘fun’ things that come with that. Today about an hour after my medication I decided it was time to get started on things. It wasn’t a huge change of mental state.

I felt ‘normal’, but able to do more chores today than I would normally in a week. I wasn’t running. I wasn’t rushing. In fact I don’t think I felt ‘rushed’ once today. I feel like I worked hard, but not so hard that I’ve hurt or exhausted myself. 

I went to the grocery store. Something I dread. I don’t usually like going out in public (the social anxiety) and tend to avoid it and try to escape the situation as quickly as possible. Today? I didn’t feel eyes on me. I didn’t constantly ask myself whether the woman pushing her cart a few paces behind me is quietly angry that I’m taking too long picking what I wanted from the shelf. My daughter and I enjoyed our outing. She even commented that we had ‘fun’ at the store. Something I never equate to shopping. 

I had a small confrontation (where I was the asshole. No question. Definitely was the asshole here and probably should apologize if I ever see that person again) Normally this would send me spiraling into a self loathing, weeping, mess of a person for hours. I can’t stand the thought of insulting or upsetting someone. Today? I left it mostly confident and in control of my emotions. I knew I was in the wrong, but still wasn’t emotionally gutted like I normally would be. 

My recall is shit. Honestly I can’t remember half the conversations I’ve had and have trouble remembering what goes on in the day to day. Today I’ve found that where normally I’d dig into my memory reserves and find nothing but frustrating emptiness, I was (mostly!) able to come up with the information I was searching for. This may get even better with further tinkering with dosage (I remember the Psych saying I should play with it until I get the ‘maximum’ out without feeling like my heart’s racing )

I still was fairly easily distracted today, but I was able to draw myself back to the tasks I’d started within a reasonable amount of time. 

Speaking of time, I normally can’t keep up with it at all. Hours just disappear and I have no idea what I’ve been doing other than sitting in front of my computer, doing nothing in particular. I was constantly surprised today at it being much earlier than I expected it to be. I kept expecting time to jump forward like it usually does, but would be surprised when it’d be only a few minutes to an hour since the last time I checked, and I could account for all of it. 

One thing I need to work on is keeping my thoughts on track, and not loosing them the moment I’m distracted. I can be mid sentence and hear the AC cut on and well there went that conversation what were we talking about again? I feel like I lost my thoughts a bit less, but they still escape sometimes

Coming off the meds isn’t too bad, when they’re dying down in the evening (I need to take them later in the morning I’ve decided, they died a little early on me today) I started to feel like I usually feel, with a tinge of light sensitivity (which could just be me taking more notice of my normal amount of light sensitivity or it could have just been bright AF today, gonna have to see about this one some more). I felt tired, ready to settle into a chair and relax knowing I’d been productive, I’d managed a marked improvement on what my day normally looks like, and feeling hopeful.

One last note, I caught myself happy stimming (hand flapping) instead of my stress stimming (clicking/repeating phrases) because I was productive and calm all day. Which is, to be honest, like a drink of water after being lost in the desert for a very, very long time. I can’t remember the last time I flapped because I was excited about something, I’d honestly forgotten that was something I was capable of.