Rae Valentine from open heart

I think about that conversation that we had a lot. The one where you asked me if I had found you or you had found me, you know? And I know your point was that I tend to stay better with people that find me but I can't get this reoccurring thought out of my head. You found me. But you also didn't choose me.

1. I know you know that I have magic fingertips 2. You know it's true you can't resist my tasty lips 3. Now can't you see that I can make you lose control 4. You know the score, I win you lose just like before Games all the games I like to play Make you love me night and day If you win I will obey But I know you won't so A. I'll let you stay if you be good and you behave B. You must agree it's fun to live your fantasies C. Now look at me I'm lying naked on the floor D. Get on your knees and beg me please to give you more Games all the games I like to play Make you love me night and day If you win I will obey But I know you won't so Take you to my magic tower In my land of make believe All sweet lovin' in my power You won't ever want to leave Take you to my magic tower In my land of blue and red All sweet lovin' in my power You're the prisoner of my bed

I think I've been fighting so hard that I haven't taken time to be quiet. It's amazing how things manifest themselves in quiet. Today I let the silence overtake me and I realized that I feel extremely insignificant. The aftermath of what you did has, once again, left me feeling not enough. After all that happened, and I still wasn't enough for you. I know now that you never wanted anyone but her, but if you knew that, then you shouldn't have done this. Because I'm so fucked up now. I'm in love with one of the best friends I've ever had, and no matter what I did, no matter how hard I tried, I wasn't enough. All you've ever told me is that that's wrong; I am enough. But your actions are so different from your words sometimes. And so here I sit in the destruction that you left, like a single bloom competing against a field of wild flowers. I should have known that I had never been a contender to begin with, and I should further realize that love is not a competition. But in reality, I don't care about her. All I care about is you. That's all I ever cared about.