#for cameron

and i will move far away and won't see or talk to him for five years.

and as we sit on the hood of our car, the sun goes down

and he asks me what i've wanted all my life

i tell him, "i don't know."

Power Lines for Cameron

California | February 2022

I don't tell him about the dream I had the night before where I'm riding in a car full of strangers and singing to some song I've never heard and smoking a cigarette and we swerve off the road and hit a tree. 

I go through the windshield and hit the edge of a fence, dislocating my jaw and flipping me into a wall where my neck is broken, and my skull is fractured. 

I bleed to death in excruciating pain. 

I will have this dream periodically until I meet all of the strangers, one by one introducing them all to one another until we are a close group of friends. I will set these events in motion, and I will die. 

My girls dont have any threads together- HOWEVER....

Nadira cant stand Symona because she is so brash and mean. Cameron actively takes up for Nadira because she is a cinnamon roll thats afraid of everyone due to trauma. And Symona *cannot stand* either Cameron OR Nadira. Symona hates Cameron because she is a psychotherapist and is too keen on what is actually going on and also tends to spoil her fun when she tries to bully Nadira. Symona bullies Nadira because she is an easy target.

Also, Symona doesnt like Cameron because Cameron points out how awful Symona's coping mechanisms are. Symona *hates* being told what to do or not do with a seething passion.