#for bear

I wish it was easier to rebuild that trust in humanity and settle the fear reaction. I wish I didn't spiral so easily any time I realize that it matters to me how someone feels about me. I want to live a life where being with someone feels right, not terrifying.

Ironically, it felt like he was testing his own willpower here as much his pet's. It knelt on the floor in perfect stillness but for dark eyes tracking his every movement. He carefully avoided meeting its gaze, busying his hands as best he could in an increasingly futile effort to keep himself from fucking his pretty plaything into the ground.

He felt his restraint cracking under the pressure, and ground his teeth together hard enough to make his jaw ache. He paced over to the nightstand and grabbed a book off the stack Pet had carefully made there. He flipped through a few pages, registering none of it, and then snapped the book shut. From behind him, he heard the rustle of thighs rubbing together, and a feral grin spread across his lips. Finally.

"What did I say?"

He didn't need to turn around to know Pet had frozen in place again, to see in his mind its deer-in-headlights expression as it whimpered softly on the other side of the room.

"Speak, slut." He took another moment to steel himself before turning to face Pet. It looked delicious on its knees, gazing up at him with desperation in its eyes.

"You said to stay where you put me until you gave me permission to move, Sir." Pet's voice was soft and rough with need, and he bit back a groan. "You said to be good for you, and I tried to be Sir."

He walked over, stroking Pet's cheek. He watched it instinctively press into his touch before realizing he still hadn't given it permission to move and going rigid with a quiet sob of overwhelm. He pressed a thumb into Pet's mouth and watched its entire body relax as it sucked contentedly. He couldn't help but groan as he felt the smooth flick of a tongue over the pad of his thumb. "Fuck." Pet hummed appreciately, and he withdrew his thumb before promptly pushing one, two, and then three fingers back into Pet's mouth. Pet swallowed tightly around his fingers as he thrust them in and out, deeper and deeper, its eyes wide and locked on his own. "Good Pet." His voice was a low purr of pleasure, and Pet's eyes softened with delight at the sound. He pulled his fingers back out, and to Pet's credit, it left its lips parted, saliva dripping down its chin and onto its bare chest. Even better, when he reached down and slid two damp fingers inside Pet, its eyes rolled back in its head slightly and its body tightened around his fingers, but Pet didn't move even a little from its pose. "Oh yeah, that's what I want to see." He laughed softly, crouching down fully in front of Pet and massaging small circles against the wet, grasping heat of it. "See, you're starting to learn, aren't you my little whore? It's not enough to obey. I want you to suffer for it. If obedience is easy for you, where's the fucking accomplishment for me? You think I can show you off just because you can make me come with that busy mouth of yours? Lots of needy little bitches can do that. You get rewarded when you excel, slut, and I expect you to keep. Fucking. Improving." He'd been fingering Pet harder, deeper, slower, curling his fingers against that spot that always made Pet gush on his fingers.

Pet held so still that he could barely tell if it was still breathing. Its mouth hung slack, its eyes flickering upwards in ecstacy as he watched its body wind tighter and tighter towards orgasm. A low and breathy moan slipped from Pet's lips, and he immediately ripped his fingers out. The wail that came from Pet's throat was enraged, and he promptly slapped Pet hard on the cheek. The sound cut off with a last whimper, and he smirked. "Good Pet." He growled, fingers slowly filling Pet again, one at a time until it was panting silently, eyes wild with fear as it suddenly understood the rules of the game he was playing with it. "Good pets get their greedy holes stuffed. Good pets speak only when spoken to." He accentuated the end of each sentence with a hard stroke of his thumb over Pet's cock, in contrast to the deep thrust of his fingers. "Good pets know that sometimes their owner has to hurt them to make them a *better* pet." It's cunt gripped so tightly on his fingers that he struggled to withdraw, so instead he forced a fourth into Pet, roughly finger fucking it as its eyes rolled back in its head, thighs trembling around his palm. In that moment he knew this game would end with his fist wrist deep in Pet's cunt, and understood how to ruin his lovely plaything properly. With a devilish purr in his voice, he whispered in Pet's ear, "Good pets don't have orgasms without permission." Tears formed in Pets eyes and it trembled with the effort of remaining still, obedient, perfectly fucking balanced on a razor wire of pleasure and pain. "You'll earn your orgasm when you prove that you can be a good pet. Not a minute sooner." His hand was soaked now from Pet's slick, dripping pussy, and he took the opportunity to fully fit his thumb and knuckle into it. The effect was instantaneous. Pet's scream was raw and broken, and it sobbed desperately, trying to babble an apology.

It didn't matter.

The sound that he tore from Pet when he withdrew this time was animalistic, and he laughed as its body collapsed to the ground. Pet looked up at him from the floor, crying softly, and he gently fed his thumb back into its mouth, gripping its chin forcefully as his thumb pressed down on its tongue. Pet closed its lips around his thumb and obediently stroked its tongue over it the way he liked, but the tears still streamed down its cheeks.

"You're so beautiful when you fail, my little slut. The fear in your eyes. The way you lose all that precious self-control of yours the moment you realize you're not. Good enough. Yet." With his free hand, he slapped Pet's cheek sharply, using his grip on its face to force it to take the blows without flinching. Pet sobbed louder.

He was so hard that it hurt, and he couldn't wait any longer. The irony of pressing on Pet's inadequacy kink just as his own patience finally snapped. He released Pet, and it dropped heavily back to the floor, hiccupping pathetically and visibly shaking with the effort not to reach for him. Without hesitation, he unbuckled his belt, relishing the shiver of pleasure that rippled down his pet's spine at the sound of leather sliding across denim. He groaned as his fingers curled around his cock, and he grinned when Pet's head shot up. Pet scrambled back to its knees, resuming the pose it was meant to be practicing, eyes filled with lust and fixed on his dick.

He chuckled, a pleased edge to it that made Pet's forehead crease worriedly. "Oh this isn't for you sweetheart." He chuckled, patting its cheek affectionately. "You already knew about the carrot. Time to learn about the stick." In a practiced gesture, the belt was around Pet's neck, the loose end fastened to the wall so that moving too far from it would begin to strangle it. And standing just out of reach, he began to stroke his cock slowly. The look on its face as it shook and strained for him had him on the edge of his own orgasm right away. When Pet's breathing grew ragged from pulling against the belt, he felt his cock twitch in his hand as he stroked faster. "I'm gonna break you, mi amor." He panted, wishing he could enjoy these sensations longer before his orgasm. "And maybe once I put you back together again, you'll finally earn the right to try and be my obedient little slut again."

My sun, my stars, and my sky.

Bear is my best friend. He had gone through loss after loss, to finally having a win before we started losing some more. Never once did he look sad. Every night, no matter my mood, he curled up with me. He licked my tears away and would just press his nose to mine until I smiled.