#fools fate

finished fools fate yesterday. i feel like ive been shot in the chest 57 times and then ran over by a truck. have little beloved sketch to mend my soul

I enjoyed drawing this tent so much so I did it many times

two mimir

I’m literally physically upset whenever I think too hard about Beloved. One of the most frustrating parts of Fitz and the Fool’s early relationship is that Fitz doesn’t entirely realize that Beloved is just as lonely as he is. He’s in a position that most people can’t understand or relate to, even when he makes organic connections and forges friendships with the people around him, he has to be conscientious of the role he’s playing, so while he knows everything about everyone and there are people who see him as a treasured friend, he’s still holding himself apart from them, still divided from the whole. People have one of three boiler plate reactions to him: discomfort, infatuation, or disgust. Even Chade admits that the Fool unnerves him. Speaking of Chade, pretty sure it’s implied somewhere in the first trilogy that the Fool is probably the only other person in the Keep that’s as lonely a creature as Dogboy Fitz. Not to mention he’s basically a willful exile, he left his home, his loving parents, and every instance of safety and familiarity he's ever known AS A CHILD, and I’m not even going to get into the nitty gritties of the prodigious school and claiming that being the king’s Jester was the closest thing he’s had to a real childhood, but from what little he’s revealed to Fitz about his prior life, it sounds like he was always treated either as the bird laying golden eggs and hoisted up on a pedestal, or a freak of nature. It’s obvious he misses his family, he speaks of a sister we never learn much about, of a life abandoned in pursuit of the unknown, and outside of Fitz, his Catalyst, there’s ‘no one else that breathes’ who really knows him. All of this is compounded when the Fool proves so eager to explore the Skill connection between him and Fitz, and makes it a point to say it doesn’t frighten him, despite being such a private person. He wants Fitz to know him like that, and I don’t think it’s solely because it’s an intimate connection that goes beyond physical or romantic intimacy and the Fool’s obviously in love with him. It’s because there’s a part of him that wants to be known, and be seen. The Fool just doesn’t make it as obvious as Fitz, man who’s-actually-just-a-big-stray-puppy-in-a-box

that’s keeping me up at night

Yes the scene where Fitz puts the crown on his head is dramatic and monumental and obviously changes things. But I think once he went and got the fool everything else just fell into place. It’s the fact that the fool and him loved each other that was the true change.